Unhinged

Song inspiration

I couldn't believe my father was gone. My Dad.

My life felt like a travesty. Anything that could go wrong, went wrong. First D's dad, then Kevin, now my own father? Not to mention my entire relationship with D.

A few days had gone by since my father's passing and his funeral was coming up. Cassidy kept bugging me, asking if I was okay, and when I'd fly her out her to be with me. I just couldn't bare thinking of her meeting my mom like this, or having D see us together.

I lied on the bed in what used to be my room. I felt empty. I picked up my phone, unsure of who to call.

'Will you please come over... I'm having a hard time."

I sent the message without thinking twice. Tears rolled down my face.

Be right over. x

I got a response within seconds.

"Hey stranger." I heard at my doorway.

I continued to lie there, not saying a word. I felt her body next to mine as we sat in silence.

"Is this what you felt like?" I asked softly.

"There's no words to describe how I felt.... it's easily the most amount of pain I have felt though."

I began sobbing and she took me in her arms, only letting go after I had relaxed. She rubbed my back and stroked my hair until I fell asleep.

~

My eyes fluttered open to find her lying next to me. I gently wrapped my arms around her, which caused her to wake up.

"Good morning." I whispered. It had been years since she had slept in my bed, and even though nothing happened between us, it felt nice.

"Hi," She said softly. "How are you feeling?"

I shrugged.

"Let me take you to breakfast, yeah?"

I smiled, "Yeah. Breakfast sounds good."

This felt so natural, being with her. Even after all these years.

"So… how have you been? I mean before all of this." She cleared her throat.

That question infuriated me. How have I been? Was she serious?

I chuckled.

"Why did you leave me?" I asked.

"Nick, I don't think this is the time for that conversation."

"It's definitely time. It's been three fucking years. How could you let this much time pass?"

"Nick…"

I swallowed hard.

"I just want to understand, so I can fully move on D."

She hesitantly caressed my cheek.

"I'm sorry, I don't even know what to say."

"You broke me."

"I was angry… scared. I didn't trust you Nick."

"You were so angry, that you let years pass?" I scoffed.

"So did you."

"I tried!" I raised my voice.

"Nick, can we please skip this? I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry."

"You basically pushed me right into Cassidy's arms."

She fell silent.

"Are you with her right now?"

I nodded.

"How long?"

I cleared my throat. "Almost 2 years."

"I'm gonna go, this was a mistake." She began to get up.

I grabbed her hand and pulled her into the booth beside me.

"Look at me."

"Nick, let me go."

"Seeing you has brought back so much for me."

She looked at me with tears in her eyes and nodded in agreement.

"So what are we gonna do?"

"I have to tell you something…"

"Okay." I said hesitantly.

"I-"

We were interrupted by a voice calling my name.

"How's it going bro?" Jake, my friend from high school said.

"Oh, hey baby, didn't expect to see you here." He pulled D into a kiss.

I was furious.

"Are you fucking kidding me!?"

"Nick, I was trying to-"

"Fuck off D. I'm so beyond done with you. I'm done feeling like this."

I pushed her out of the booth and left the restaurant fuming. I heard her trailing behind me.

"Leave me alone."

"Nick, why are you so angry?"

I stopped and turned to face her.

"I am furious. I've been furious for three fucking years. I love you. I've never stopped loving you. Don't you get that?"

She was silent.

"Fuck you. I'm out of here."

Once again, I left alone and heartbroken.

Why did I let her back in?