Sleepless in Kanasas

If someone told you their job was hunting monsters and saving people, causing and taking care of the apocalypse from time to time and to regularly correspond with figures such as Death himself, prophets of the Lord, demons, the king of hell and angels of all kinds – all kinds taken literally since the two brothers had not only had to deal with your stereotypic harp playing cherubs or half naked cupids but also with archangels such as Michael, Gabriel (on more than one occasion; way. More. Than. One.

Occasion.) and actual Lucifer himself – you would assume that insomnia, apart from your general real-life-nightmares, would be the least of their problems.

Sam Winchester would full on agree with you on that. Unless he’s keeping himself up on coffee over ancient books and scripts all night that is.

His older brother though… was a different story. If you like to put it that way.

Although, surprisingly his current lack of zzzs wasn’t caused by troubling images playing behind his eyelids, every time he closed them or traumatic memories that kept him from calming down – despite the fact that he had a hell of a lot - … - of that to come up with too. No, right now, what was keeping him up was purely harmless and, theoretically easy to deal with; he was worried about his best friend. A certain, blue eyed, not capable of understanding sarcasm or any kind of irony, angel who owned literally one set of clothing and one photo.

And more happy memories than any other angel could imagine. If they were wasting their time with something like that – dreaming, hoping, loving, feeling – in the first place.

Actually; Dean Winchester wasn’t worried about his angel- wait his angel? Castiel was no one’s especially not Dean’s; here was no reason for that: Castiel was almost as old as the world and, apart from an undeniable sense of social awkwardness, more than capable of taking care of himself – that unique angel; he simply missed him. He hadn’t seen him in days.

Which, he had to admit, did not sound all that dramatic but after some time – and a couple of catastrophes the three of them, along with Bobby and some others, had to take care of – with him, actually not spent by hunting or training, doing research or torturing demons, the brothers simply had gotten kind of used to their weirdly lovable friend.

Dean, perhaps more than Sam.

But Sam was out doing… grocery-shopping or whatever he thought he had to be doing at five past three in the morning while his brother was turning and tossing around in his bed, trying to keep his eyes shut to not have to look around his room – his actual room (!) he still did not quite know whether it was worrying or not that he’d finally found something close to home in an ancient bunker but, o well – to find it empty.

Because, of course it was empty. It would have been way more distressing than reassuring to find someone/something else within these walls and – wait a second, had there always been this weird kind of resonance, echoing his breathing? Rather off beat?

Trying his best, to keep on breathing normally and to look like he was sleeping, Dean’s hand slowly, inch by inch, crept beneath his pillow until his fingers closed around the grip of the knife he always kept close whilst sleeping. In one fluid motion he tossed his blankets in the general direction of where he thought the thing/creature stood, bolted out of bed, spun around and brought up his weapon.

Facing no monster, demon or god as he’d expected but …a very confused looking Castiel who was more or less sitting in the middle of Dean’s bed, cradling the washed out blankets in his arms (after he’d caught them) whilst studying the hunter with a mild look of surprise and also amusement on his cute- no!...attractiv- his face.

“I have always thought, your way of greeting other people”- he actually raised his eyebrows while he said that – “was rather interesting. I understand I have caught you by surprise, Dean?”

“I…”, freaking hell, just the way Castiel pronounced his name sent shivers up and down the hunter’s spine and he had to take a moment to gather every last bit of composure he had managed to maintain around Castiel over the last years – which was a pitifully small amount, he had to admit – “Well, normally other people”, Dean finally all but managed a weak smirk directed at the angel while he switched on the lamp on his bedside table, “don’t suddenly appear in my bedroom – on my actual freaking bed- what the hell dude?- while I’m trying to sleep.”

“Even though you were not trying to accomplish this wholeheartedly in the first place?”, Castiel actually patted the spot beside him on the mattress while he spoke and Dean’s mouth opened and closed a couple of times without producing an actual sound before he dropped his arm, flopped down beside the angel – not bothering to even attempt to keep any reasonable amount of personal space between them, since Castiel had this thing for - wittingly or unwittingly -scooting closer and closer to the hunter until he ended up more or less pressed against him eventually, although he could not say that he actually minded, yet usually tried to keep some distance between them but right now he was just in that semi tired-yet-not-tired-enough-to-actually-fall-asleep state of mind and actually leaned in a little because he couldn’t help himself – and stuffed his knife back under his pillow.

“Dunno what you’re talking ‘bout, Cas”, he eventually leaned backwards against the headboard, their knees still touching and their legs practically pressed against each other’s and plucked some non-existing loose threads from his best friend’s omnipresent trench coat, his fingers lingering just a little longer on his shoulder than necessary, “most people don’t fall asleep straight away after they’ve laid down.”

“But you do that”, Castiel said whilst re-arranging some creases of his coat.

“Sometimes”

“Sometimes you do not even wait with falling asleep until you have laid down”

“Once, Cas, ONCE, I dozed off whilst driving”

“From what I have heard, you should have never-“, Castiel furrowed his eyebrows and leaned forward so he could look straight at Dean.

“…shut up, Castiel”

“Have I-“, his eyebrows rose up higher and his face took on a worried expression as his lips opened a little and he slowly blinked at the hunter.

“No, no it’s alright, buddy. ’m just a little worn out.”

“Because you have not slept well during the last days”, Castiel nodded seriously and Dean genuinely smiled at him before he yawned without covering his mouth; “How’d ya’know that anyway?”

“I always know when you pray to me, I am positive that I have told you that.”

“I didn’t pray to you though, Cas”, Dean froze for a second before he continued stretching his back, closing his eyes longer than necessary to not have to look at the angel.

It’s the truth that the hunter had not explicitly prayed to Castiel.

But he had also not not thought of him every time he’d had a second to spare and quiet a lot of late night thoughts had contained the words ‘god’, ‘Cas’ or just ‘o god, Cas please’. In various combinations. And there had also been an occasional replacement from the word “buddy” to baby” in thought.

With his luck, Cas had not only picked up those …rather ‘private’ thoughts as prayers but now also thought, he’d mistaken him for his car. Which was an awesome car. Still.

“I am aware of the fact that you were not praying in the traditional sense, Dean”, Castiel said completely unfazed.

“Th-then how exactly could you…?”

“I receive most of your thoughts as long as they are approximately concerning me or other angels.”

“Well, you’ve never told me that”, Dean all but sputtered, his cheeks flushing more or less scarlet yet he somehow managed to prevent himself form burying his face in the palms of his hands.

“I did not mention that”, the angel agreed, still awfully calm, - and Dean was almost a hundred percent sure that they’d been sitting a lot further apart a couple of seconds ago, “because it is said to be indelicately to mention this to a human being”

“It’s ‘indelicately’ to enlighten us that you’re all basically spying on us 24/7?”

“Why would you think something like this?”

“You basically told me so a second ago”, Dean snapped, his face growing hotter and hotter by the second and his mouth feeling rather dry.

“I told you, that I am able to receive your thoughts. I have not mentioned any of my brothers and sisters”

“I…- I seriously don’t-“, the hunter started but shut his mouth again when Castiel, who was more or less sitting on top of his legs by now, lifted his hands to cup his face in between his hands and gently pulled him closer until their foreheads were almost touching and their noses brushed against one another’s;

“I have not mentioned any of my brothers and sisters”, he repeated gazing straight into Dean’s eyes – they were so close to each other that they could see their own reflections mirrored in the other’s pupils and Dean was almost certain that his heart had never once beaten that fast in his life -, “because they have nothing to do with this, because no one else is able to do it; the reason, this matter is not to mention to humans is because an angel is only able to do this kind of thing if he or she shares a special kind bound with the human whose thoughts they are able to receive”

“A special kind of bound meaning…?”, Dean weakly asked, his face still heated up to a degree that was almost laughable, and had already opened his mouth to add something – he was not even sure what exactly– when the angel hesitantly leaned in completely and softly kissed him.

“Something, some people would call love”, Castiel said in a soft voice while Dean only blinked at him without saying a word, but inconspicuously licked his bottom lip and pretended not to notice that the angel’s ridiculously blue eyes flicked down to his lips for a second. (which, perhaps he’d seen him do before a couple of times but pretended to not have noticed)
“Dean? I did not mean to imply – I am sorry if I am mistaken and you-“, the angel’s eyes softened and the corners of his mouth fell downwards, “I think, I should leave now and-”

“Don’t you fricking dare, Cas”, Dean finally snapped out of it and pushed against the angel’s shoulders – who surprisingly gave way and let himself be crowded against the mattress –, hooking his leg over his angel’s thighs for emphasis so he was more or less straddling him, and knotted his fingers in Cas’ shirt as he pulled him close and firmly pressed their lips together; the angel’s arms coming up to wrap around his back and neck when Dean pushed his leg in between Castiel’s whilst softly trailing his tongue over his angel’s lips until he opened his mouth and quietly sighed into Dean’s, re-arranging his hands to cup the hunter’s face when he deepened their kiss.

“’m not letting go of ya ever again”, he got out when he eventually pulled away from Castiel for a second to catch his breath, still gently rocking his hips against the angel’s –who made little, keening sounds in the back of his throat and hooked one leg around the back of Dean’s thighs – and knotted his fingers in his dark streaks and pulled him close again, before he could answer.

“Which makes me very happy, Dean”, the angel finally, brightly smiled up to him with cherry red, puffy lips and Dean snorted a laugh at his lopsided grin and smacked another kiss on his cheek before he rolled onto his side, cradling his angel in his arms and nuzzled his nose in his hair while he hugged him close, “Me too, baby”, and Castiel made a slightly confused face; “no, I did not just call you after my car; lots of people call each other pet names”

“But you used to call me something else”, Cas frowned quietly, tipping his head backwards to look at the hunter “is this better or worse?”

“It’s just different, Cas”, Dean shrugged and pressed their lips together once more, slowly moving his against his angel’s until the latter one finally decided to stop thinking about the pet-name-thing (for now), and kissed him back, quietly moaning into the hunter’s mouth when he trailed his hands downwards and pulled Castiel’s hips firmly against his, “friends call each other buddy, couples something like baby or… you know, stop thinking so much”, he eventually finished slightly breathlessly and burrowed his nose in Cas’ surprisingly soft hair but kept one hand securely planted low on the small of the angel’s back (to which Castiel both bit his lip whilst grinning at him and blushed in the faintest shade of pink).

“Does Sam get to call me something else now too?”

“Not until we marry”, Dean smirked at him and Castiel sweetly kissed him again, one hand sliding to rest in the nape of his neck, steadily tugging him closer, “You just read my thoughts again, didn’t you?”

“It gets easier the stronger … our relationship grows”, the angel blushed again, nudging his nose against Dean’s, “although I do like you’re imagination of our wed-“

“Shut up if you don’t wanna die a virgin after all”, the hunter muttered (just slightly flustered) and pressed his forehead just a teeny tiny bit harder against Castiel’s than necessary and glared at him in the most heart-eyed manner, “’m not ready for that one yet”

“Are you talking about me dying, us marrying or us having -“

“All of that, actually”, Dean chuckled and was very glad that his angel did not raise his eyebrows at that statement, “but forget about that dying part; I’m so not going to let you die on me and leave me alone in this hell hole”, he dug the fingers of the hand he had placed on the angel’s waist firmly into his side – surprisingly actually managing to have Castiel choke out a sputtering gasp and oh, Dean was so going to use that against him.

“That is very nice of you”, the hunter was actually slightly disappointed when Cas’ voice only had a slightly squeaky undertone.

“Yeah, you’re turning me into a fricking sap”

“Is that a bad thing?”, Castiel slowly blinked a couple of times before he added; “Because I do like this here” in a very soft voice.

“Never really been one for cuddling but… I could get used to this”, Dean quietly coughed, his mouth still a little dry from the unexpected turn the night had taken.

“Thank you”, the angel reached up to peck Dean’s lips and showed him the dorkiest smile before he nestled his face in the crook of the hunter’s neck, “although I do know, that you actually love this”

“This whole psychic-thing fricking sucks”, Dean grumbled into his angel’s hair, “Do I at least get something too? Like laser eyes? Or X-ray-vision?”

“I am afraid you do not”, Castiel furrowed his eyebrows against the hunter’s shirt, “I am sorry about it”

“’s alright”, Dean yawned and pulled his angel completely on top of him, one of his legs on either side of his and kissed his forehead. He still wasn’t sure, whether he should freak out about these radical changes – or perhaps about the fact, that he was not freaking out about these changes – or just be thankful that they apparently did not have to go through that ‘everything’s changed and new and awkward’-phase straight away (the two of them had waited long enough, if you’d asked either of them).

“You should sleep now”, the angel eventually lifted his head up from his chest to look at him.

“Could do that”, the hunter shrugged.

“You could?”

“Could also keep doing that”, Dean cupped the back of his angel’s head and pulled him down again.

“Humans need to sleep”

“So what?”

“You are human”

“O, Cas, really?”

“Yes, I am sure of that.”

“Sometimes I seriously wonder, how you managed to get that old, Cas”

“I-“

“Just forget about it”, he yawned again and Castiel reached out to place the tips of his fingers on his forehead.

“-don’t you fricking dare”, Dean glared at him while he pushed his hand back down.

“But you will get sick if you are not regularly-“

“Cas, it’s really not that big of a deal.”

“Yes it is, you have not slept properly in over a week, which will get you killed sooner or later if you work a job like yours”, the angel said very slowly and Dean frowned, “despite”, he added eventually, “the main reason I came here tonight was to help you sleep and I-“

“You came here because I couldn’t sleep”, the hunter repeated kind of blankly.

“Because, to function properly the average-“, Castiel explained, a little to eagerly and Dean cut him off with a smirk; “You don’t have somethin’ better to do in heaven? Or am I really just that
special to have an angel tug me in?”

“I might have been a little worried about you-“

“Cas.”

“I might have missed you very much but you did not reach out to me properly and I thought, you might appreciate-“

“You’re such a wuss”, Dean cackled and his angel looked more than just a little confused; “Dean, do you want me to leave?”

“You tell me”

“…You are not thinking of me leaving”, Castiel blushed the tiniest bit.

“What am I thinking of then, baby?”

“About… earlier”

“And, you know, that gets humans pretty freaking tired too”, Dean wiggled his eyebrows a little and his angel softly smiled back; “if you insist.”

“O, I do, baby”, the hunter had probably never grinned as bright in his life before, “and I’ll keep on ‘insisting’ on a lot more, for a lot longer too.”

“I cannot say, that I would particularly mind this”

“That’s the idea of it.”