What Do You Want From Me?

“Hey Laney. You alright?” Delaney looked up to catch eyes with Jack, who had managed to sit down next to her without her noticing. The bar they were at tonight was busy, but it was a Saturday night and it would be surprising if it wasn’t packed full of people looking to drink away the night.

“Of course I am Jack. Why do you ask?” She responded like she was surprised by his question, but truly, she wasn’t alright. But that didn’t mean anyone was supposed to notice. She had been hoping she had been doing a half-way decent job of faking her emotions tonight, but she should have known better. She was a terrible liar.

“Laney. Come on. I’ve known you for 7 years. I dated you for 2 of those years. I know when you aren’t ok.” Jack said with a know-it-all attitude. Delaney rolled her eyes before brushing a few of the strands of her light brown hair back behind her ear. “Plus, you’re still nursing the same beer you ordered when we got here an hour ago. I’ve never seen you drink a beer so slow in the entire time I’ve known you.”

Another eye roll was the response that Jack got, along with a large gulp of her now mostly warm beer. She hated that Jack was right. She wasn’t ok when she got to the bar, but she would have been fine with a beer and her friends surrounding her. It had just been an overly long and stressful day at work, but nothing a little alcohol and friends couldn’t fix. But that was before she walked into the bar to be greeted by the sight of a beautiful redhead sitting in Alex’s lap at a bar stool. Now, now she was wishing she hadn’t promised to go out with everyone. She didn’t want to be anywhere near Alex and his latest pickup.

Just last night he had been with her. He had called late at night like he always did. He asked to come over just like he always did. She hesitated, but ultimately said yes, just like she always did. And he left right after to go home, just like he always did.

“Don’t worry about it Jack. It’s nothing.” She responded, giving him a small smile. She hoped that it would ease his worries and get him to stop asking questions. She didn’t have answers to give for any questions regarding this. She didn’t even entirely know how she herself felt half the time, so how could she possibly start answering questions?

“Come on Laney. I’m not buying that. What’s going on?”

Another sigh.

“I just don’t want to be here Jack.” She said honestly. Jack pouted in response. While she hadn’t told him anything useful, she gave him the most honest answer that she could muster. She didn’t want to lie to Jack, but she wasn’t sure if she could even begin to explain everything going on.

No one knew about her and Alex. Well, there wasn’t really a her and Alex, but there sort of was, wasn’t there? They’d been sneaking around and sleeping together for the past 11 months. At first, it was innocent enough. A drunken one night stand. Something that could easily be ignored and never brought up again. So they decided not to tell anyone what had happened. But then it kept happening, over and over again. And now here she was, pining after him while he ran wild and carefree.

“How about we head out and go pop in a movie. Maybe make some popcorn?”

“Jack no” She said with a shake of her head. Her hair sashayed back and forth with the movement, falling from behind her ears. “You don’t wanna leave. You love drinking at the bar. I think I’m just gonna finish my beer, head home, and go to sleep for the night. Maybe I’ll feel more like myself tomorrow.”She knew that she probably wouldn’t feel any different tomorrow. She also knew that her response probably wouldn’t sit well with Jack. He’d always been so caring and loving. She wished that Jack had been the one for her. Dating him, being with him, had been so easy. But neither of them were in love either each other, and they both knew it. But she wished she had been. Jack was so much better for her. He’d never do anything to hurt her. She could easily say that Jack had been the best relationship she’d ever had.

“Nope. This bar is boring anyways. If it wasn’t, would I be yawning right now?” He let an outrageously loud and fake yawn out of his mouth, causing Delaney to laugh and shake her head. “No. I wouldn’t be yawning. Great bar times are not made of yawns Laney.” His face was so serious as he said it, that had she just walked up to the table, she would have believed him in a heartbeat.

She sighed, finally nodding in agreement. She could try to keep Jack here, but it would more than likely result in her staying here, and she didn’t want that. It was much easier, and more comfortable for her to agree to leave the bar with Jack.

“Ok. Let’s go. This beer sucks anyways.” Delaney stated getting up and grabbing her jacket and purse, ignoring the disgusting warm beer that she had spent almost all night trying to convince herself to consume.

“Let’s do the rounds and get out of here” Jack said, throwing his arm around Delaney and guiding her towards the guys who were at the bar ordering another round.

“Jack! You need another beer?” Alex said as he spotted his best friend walking up to the bar, one arm around the redhead and the other clutching to a new pint glass of beer. Delaney tried not to look upset as she watched the redhead hold onto Alex and cuddle up next to him. Alex wasn’t hers, so she had no reason to be upset, but she was anyways. She couldn’t halt the feelings that were washing over her, so she just leaned a little bit more into Jack for comfort.

“Naw man. Laney and I are actually headed out. Just came to say goodbye.” Jack said with a laugh, causing Alex to frown.

“Leaving? It’s too early to be leaving! It’s barely 9 dude. Zack! Rian! Don’t you think that it’s too early for these two to be leaving?” Alex shouted. It was obvious he had had more than a few already.

“You two are leaving? Seriously?” Rian asked, eyebrows raised in confusion. Jack never left the bar early. He was usually the last to leave, and typically by being dragged out by one of the guys or Laney, forcing him to go home.

“Laney isn’t feeling too good so I’m gonna take her home.” Jack said.The boys frowned but nodded in understanding.

“Feel better.” Alex commented before turning his attention right back to the redhead. Delaney nodded and said her goodbyes to everyone before leaving the bar and going towards her car. She tried not to get upset how Alex had barely noticed her, barely acknowledged her presence. She kept trying to remind herself that they were just friends, but it just wasn’t getting through.

“Your place or mine?” Delaney asked as they both got in, her fingers automatically reaching for the heater controls and turning it on. It was getting brisk outside due to winter starting and she was definitely not ready for the change in season.

“Mine. You probably don’t have popcorn and you can’t have a movie night without popcorn.”

“Fair enough” She said before heading to Jack’s house. It wasn’t long before they were inside, Jack making popcorn and Delaney trying to determine what movie might be a good enough distraction and keep her mind from wandering. She finally just blindly picked one and popped it in the DVD case.

“So are you going to tell me why you’re so upset?” Jack said as he walked in with a bowl of popcorn, plopping down on the couch next to her. She shrugged.

“Just feeling off” She responded.

“Just feeling like a liar is more like it. Come on Laney. What is bugging you? You never babysit alcohol like you did tonight.”

She sighed, realizing there was no way in hell that Jack was going to let this go. Better to just tell him and hope that Jack doesn’t throw her out, right?

“You’re going to get mad at me.”

Jack simply rolled his eyes at the brunette. “Laney, you’re being ridiculous. Just tell me what the hell is going on with you.”

“I’ve been sleeping with Alex.” She responded, looking at Jack’s features for some sort of emotion, but he just looked confused.

“Ok. So what’s the problem? I don’t care if you two sleep together. I mean, we haven’t dated for like, 2 years Laney. If you’re having fun, by all means!” Jack said and Delaney just sighed in response. “Oh. OH. You aren’t having fun. You like him.”

“Yea. I like that moron and I don’t know why and I can’t seem to stop it.” She confessed.

“Well did you tell him you liked him?” She shook her head no in response. “Well Laney, just tell him.”

“You don’t get it Jack. I can’t tell him because he doesn’t like me. He always calls late at night, he doesn’t want to tell anyone about us, and he leaves immediately. He doesn’t stay or talk or anything. I’ve literally become the definition of a late night booty call.” Her voice seemed to go up an octave as she got more emotional about the situation.

Jack had known Delaney for a long time, and she typically had her emotions under control and never had random outbursts or went into hysterical fits. This, while not quite a fit, was more crazed than Jack had ever seen her act over another person. She was typically calm and collected. She could be loud, sure, but she was never upset or angry about anything or with anyone. This was a new side of Delaney.

“Well. Maybe you need to stop sleeping with him. If it’s upsetting you this much, maybe it would be for the better to stop. Either he will realize he wants you, or you can start moving on with your life. The current situation is obviously upsetting you, so that has to change.”

“Why couldn’t we just stay together? You’re so much better.” She said with a pout that had Jack laughing.

“Because we weren’t in love Laney. You know that just as well as I do.”

She sighed again, a small smile on her lips as she looked at Jack. “I know. But I wish we had been in love.”

“You know, sometimes I do to. But I know there is a reason we aren’t. There has gotta be someone out there for each of us that we’ll both fall madly in love with.”

“I can still be sad that we weren’t it for each other though.” She said and Jack nodded in return.

“Of course.” He said, reaching out and pulling her to him for a hug. She cuddled into his chest and sighed. Being with Jack had never been hard or uncomfortable or wrong. It just hadn’t been quite right. He was right, they loved each other, but they weren’t in love.

“I can stay here tonight, right?” She asked, looking up at him.

“Always Laney. You can always stay here.”