Canary and the Coal Mine

The setting sun cast glowing, orange rays across the walls of the hotel room. Reflected off all the plush, white decoration, it was like Nikki and I had our own little sunset to watch inside as our night wound down.

In half an hour we’d be leaving for the arena. Though I couldn’t wrestle for the next week – at least until I was cleared from my concussion – Nikki and the others were insisting I still make an appearance. Nikki had assured me the others weren’t going to tear into me about my reckless behavior during the match; I’d hear her hissing threats to her sister and boyfriend over the phone as I’d been falling asleep last night.

There was still a lot left to discuss, though. Crying Friday night, my disappearance over the weekend, my attitude on Sunday… Nikki, of course, had been let into the truth about everything.

Well, everything except Randy. My newfound relationship, for now, was still a secret. As close as I’d come to spilling everything on the car ride to Pennsylvania, as much as I’d wanted to, I kept my mouth shut. It wasn’t just my secret, it was Randy’s; until I knew he was okay with me talking about us, I wouldn’t.

Thankfully, the truth about kissing Dean had been more than enough to completely consume Nikki. I’d taken her all the way back – back to CZW and meeting Jon Moxley on the roof of that cheap event center. Also known as the moment that I’d been ruined for anyone else.

She’d listened surprisingly well for being Nikki Bella. I told her about the flirting – or what I’d taken as flirting – and even the run-ins with him that ended up with me being pinned down in the hall. Both times. As much as I knew she wanted to run wild with the stories I was telling her, she kept herself reigned in.

And, as much as she wanted to discuss my feelings for Dean, she didn’t push the matter. In fact, the only thing she insisted on talking about were the careless moves I’d been doing in the ring Sunday. After a lot more tears and enough hugs to last me a decade at least, we let the conversation drop. She promised me we could worry about everything else later, and so far we’d stuck to that.

Our whole day had consisted of us camping out on the exorbitant white couch that took up most of the open space of the hotel room, eating our weight in hot Cheetos and watching QVC.

“Oh my god. That’s exactly what I need,” I gasped; Nikki’s head snapped up from her studious work on my nails and she studied the TV. Set of 12 Decorative Limes came across the screen again, and the spokeswoman held them up, showcasing the green lumps. Nikki actually snorted and turned her gaze on me.

“Why do you need decorative limes?”
“To go with the decorative lemons they had last month,” I pointed out, popping another handful of Cheetos into my mouth and turning up the volume a bit. Nikki rolled her eyes.

“Those nails had better be dry. If there’s cheeto dust on my hard work I’m beating your ass.”

Nikki took her job of doing my nails very seriously. Since I’d pretty much veto’d makeup, and really only let her mess with my hair when I was too tired to fight back, nails were all she had to work with. And man, did she work with them.

The time she spent doing my nails for just a few days always baffled me, but she insisted she loved it. It was our pre-show ritual, our ‘thing’. Gather in one of our hotel rooms, turn on the TV, and let Nikki doll up my nails.

I examined her work – always impressive, and today was no exception. Except for the speckling of Cheetos over them. Experimentally I licked my finger and then studied the nail again; much better. Nikki made a face.

“I think we’re good,” I assured, plunging my hand back in the bag. She made another face. “You know, I could get like twenty orders of those limes and just continuously hide them around John’s bus. Leave a few in Brie and Bryan’s house.” I paused for a moment and then gasped. “Oh my god. Or Damien’s locker. I need them.”
“Are you serious?” she laughed as I grabbed my laptop, balancing it precariously on the knee not occupied by Nikki and my nails. “Jellybean. Don’t buy those.”

“Why?”

“You don’t need decorative limes!”

“I do too! And when I get them, I fully expect your assistance in helping me stash them all over John’s bus,” I informed her, typing away. She snorted again and I glanced at her. “How’s that going, by the way?”

I didn’t miss the prominent blush on my best friend’s face as her eyes snapped back to my nails. A smile played over her lips as she finally shrugged her shoulders a bit and said softly,

“Really well. He uh, he wants me to come stay with him in Tampa over the weekend. Like, just me and him. All weekend. At his house.”

Her voice tightened just a bit and I sat forward – careful to keep my hand steady as I shifted my laptop onto the couch – and ducked down to catch her eye. She let her gaze flick to me for a moment; she looked panicked.

“Hey. Talk to me.”

“It’s nothing,” she lied quickly, and I gently pulled my hand away from her. She scowled and reached for it again. “Jay. I need to finish that –“

“Only if you tell me what’s wrong.”

She huffed, and we had a stare-off for several moments. Nikki pressed her lips together, but I saw the give in her expression. I replaced my hand and she started talking.

“We’re moving really fast. We just started dating, and now it’s like, I’m always with him. We share his bus. We go everywhere together. And now I’m staying with him at his house and I just –“

“Take a breath,” I said gently, nudging her leg softly with my foot. She actually did what I said, and it gave me a chance to soothe her. “Look. It’s not moving fast. It’s just being sure of your relationship. You told me yourself just last week that you’ve never been this happy. And if John’s asking you over already, and meeting you halfway on all this, I think he may just feel the same way.”

“Yeah?” she asked softly, and I grinned at her uncertainty.

“Just a little, Nik,” I teased, and then said seriously, “I think it’s good. I think being with him makes you really happy, and you guys should take advantage of the time together you’re getting.”

As Nikki finished the design on my nail, she sat back and gave me a genuine, warm smile. I shifted forward and wrapped my arm – with the dried polish –
around her neck, pulling her close to me. She hugged me tight to her, letting out a heavy sigh against my neck.

“Well now that I spilled my mushy crap, why don’t we open up the can of you and Dean,” she hinted, and immediately I tried to pull away. Her hold tightened around my waist and she leaned back to meet my eyes. “You said you weren’t gonna hide from me anymore, Jellybean.”

“I’m not. I want more cheetos,” I lied, animatedly trying to reach the bag behind me. She frowned.

“Jamie.”

“What?”

“You said we could talk about this. And if we’re going to the arena, what if Dean –“

“If I see him, we’ll handle it then,” I told her, wriggling out of her hold; there was another flicker of hurt over her face for just a heartbeat and I tried to ignore the guilt rising up.

“I mean you said you aren’t even talking to him now –“

“Nikki. I really don’t wanna get into this now. We gotta get to the arena.” As much as I wanted to end the conversation, the thought of having to face everyone again was almost as unappealing as the talk I was avoiding.

“Okay,” Nikki finally said as I grabbed my clothes and headed for the bathroom, using a tone that told me we were far from letting this end.

--

I tried.

I really, really tried. As much as my sulking had bothered Nikki and spurred on her attempts at talking the last twenty-four hours, I figured I could at least plaster on a smile for her tonight.

But the moment she pulled into the parking garage, the twisting, sickened feeling in my stomach worked its way onto my face, and I knew I looked nearly on the verge of tears by the time I met her at the back of the car.

“Hey, Jellybean. It’s okay,” she said quickly, pulling me to her. As stupid as it felt to be so sick with worry, it was really nice being able to bury myself in Nikki’s hug now instead of pushing it aside like I’d done all weekend. “Don’t worry about anything. Okay? I’m right here with you.”

“I know,” I mumbled into her neck, lingering in her hold for just a moment longer before finally pulling away to grab our bags. She took us right to the diva’s locker room. Most the girls were in the back, getting ready; our usual crew was camped out in the sitting area, sprawled over the couches.

Brie and John were deep into a heated argument, both gesturing wildly to the TV. Though Bryan noticed our arrival and moved to come greet us, the other two were still bickering.

“What’s that about?” Nikki asked, watching her sister and boyfriend with an amused expression. Bryan rolled his eyes as he automatically pulled me into an airtight hug.

“Who should’ve really won the slammy for shocker of the year. Neither think Kofi deserved it. Brie’s pulling for Maddox, but John’s saying Sheamus.”

“Wouldn’t that be for back when he beat you for the title?” Nikki asked; when Bryan scowled I tipped my head up to raise my brows at him and add,

“In 18 seconds?”

“Shut up,” he muttered, ruffling my hair playfully; I swatted his hand away and managed to wriggle out of his hold. “Kofi won, and that’s all there is to it.”

“So are you being a sore loser again?” I teased, earning a deeper scowl. “I mean, I’m pretty sure you didn’t even congratulate Sheamus –“

“As soon as you’re cleared, I’m kicking your ass,” he informed me. Nikki, rolling her eyes at us, ducked around him to go greet the other two. Bryan turned fully to me, and he eyes my bandaged shoulder. “How bad is it?”

“Bruised shoulder bone,” I sighed, twinging at the thought. Bone bruises were a lot more painful than I’d been expecting.

“Scapula?” Bryan hinted; I nodded. I was terrible at remembering that word.

“And a concussion. Both should be healed enough by the end of the week, so I’m back in the ring next Monday.”

“Good. And we’re gonna be a lot more cautious with the moves, right?” he asked, voice a hint more stern than before. I felt my cheeks flush and I dropped my gaze to my sneakers.”

“Yeah. Bryan, look,” I began, lifting my eyes, but Bryan cut me off immediately. He wrapped his arms back around me and tucked me swiftly to his chest.

“I know. And I know you. You’ve been beating yourself up about that match. So I’m not gonna yell or anything. I just…” I felt him huff and shake his head. “I’m glad you’re okay, Jay.”

As we pulled apart again, he reached up and patted my cheek, giving me a reassuring smile as the others came up to us. Brie ducked past her boyfriend and wrapped me up in a hug of her own.

Her hug was so different from Nikki or Bryan. I didn’t remember much of my mom, but I remembered what it felt like getting a hug from her when I was upset, and it was exactly how I felt now. Warm and safe; even though she’d been upset with me last night, none of that mattered now.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” she murmured, pulling back; her hand flitted down my bandage and she stifled a sigh of worry but made an attempt to smile instead. John chuckled at her expression as he wormed his way over and snaked in a half-hug, ruffling my hair just like Bryan had. They really were like my older brothers.

“I put effort into my style today,” I informed him, batting his wiggling fingers away. As Brie and Bryan both moved to hedge around us, I turned to look at them. “Leaving so soon?”

“Unlike some slackers here, I’ve got a match to get ready for,” he said, eyeing John and I; we both rolled our eyes as Bryan and Brie headed out, both promising they’d be back to bother us later.

Nikki looked back over at the two of us from her spot on the couch, and she patted the cushion next to her. John hesitated for a moment and motioned for me to do the same. I paused in my advance towards the couch.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” he told me, resting a hand on my good shoulder. “But if you ever pull anything like what you did last night again, I’ll be telling Hunter and Stephanie myself to keep you out of the ring. You gotta have respect for yourself first and foremost, and I didn’t see any of that in your match. Promise me I won’t be seeing that again.”

“I promise,” I told him honestly, voice sounding small against his commanding tone. He finally, thankfully, cracked a smile and stepped aside, ushering me towards Nikki.

“Good. You two behave, I’ve got a meeting with Vince. No funny business while I’m gone.”

“Yes sir,” Nikki teased at the same time I snorted and said,

“No guarantees.”

She and I shared a grin as John rolled his eyes, heading out of the locker room. A relieved breath left me; besides running into Dean, talking with the others had been what I was dreading most.

Nikki and I had left the arena without saying goodbye to anyone. The only person I’d even talked to past her was Randy. Which had really just been a quick 5-minute scolding while he was waiting at the doctor’s office this morning and Nikki was in the shower. Though we’d been cut short when he got called back, he promised he’d call after the show.

I pushed the thought of that out of my mind for the time being. Bryan, and John weren’t mad, and they weren’t expecting a full run-down of the weekend. And right now all I had to do was curl up with my best friend and watch some wrestling.

For now, it was all okay.
--

“Cody didn’t tan his armpits,” I mumbled against Nikki’s leg, currently stretched out on my stomach over the couch. The hand running through my hair paused, and I tipped my head back to look up at her. She was frowning. “He looks uneven.”

“I’m… sorry?” she tried, and I snorted at her expression as I dropped my head back down. After another few moments of watching the match I added,

“Can you get a sunburn on your armpits?”

“I would think so,” she started, and then hmm’d. “I mean, why not, right? I can Google it –“

“No,” I said quickly, rolling onto my back – careful to mind my sore shoulder – and laying my head back on her thigh. She raised a brow. “Ask John. With absolutely no context.” Nikki busted out laughing the moment the bell rang; Cody had won.

I sat up quickly and pointed to the screen. “Look! Untanned armpits!”

Nikki laughed even harder, and we both doubled over as we watched he and Damien parade around the ring in victory. As I leaned back to wipe the tears from my eyes, Nikki got to her feet, grabbing my good arm to pull me up with her. When I gave her a confused look she jerked her head towards the door.

“Let’s just go ask Cody,” she suggested, and I grinned wildly at her, eagerly linking my arm with hers as we headed out of the locker room. She knew me so well. The two of us hurried down the hall, looking for my favorite victims; Nikki was almost as excited as I was.

“Is this how you always do it? Plan out your attacks and then hunt down your victims?” she laughed, towing us around the corner. “Like, do you have a schedule, or do you just –“

As I looked up, my entire body froze. Nikki stumbled at my sudden stop, and she looked back at me in question. My eyes were locked on the three men that had just spotted us.

Dean’s eyes didn’t leave mine as he stalked down the hall, flanked by Roman and Seth. Nikki followed my gaze, and to my horror, she actually looked pleased. She nodded towards Dean.

“This is good. You two can finally talk about –“

“No, Nikki, I really don’t wanna do this now,” I panicked, tugging out of her hold and backing up. I pointedly ignored what looked like hurt on Dean’s face. Nikki sighed heavily.

“Jay, c’mon. You can’t ignore this forever –“

“Nope, but I can for right now,” I said hurriedly, backing up as Nikki moved to grab me. “I’ll see you in the locker room.”

“Jellybean!” she called after me as I spun on the spot with as much dignity as I could muster before I took off down the hall.

--

Dean

It didn’t get any easier, watching Finch run away from him.

He surged forward, determined to go after her this time, just as Wonder Twin spun and grabbed a fistful of his vest. He came to a surprised stop, staring down at her. The furious woman shoved him back and then jammed her hands on her hips. Even as his boys came up behind him to crowd her, she didn’t budge.

“Give her space,” she ordered. “Jay’s got a lot on her mind right now.”

“I jus’ wanna talk –“

“And you need to,” Wonder Twin agreed. “But not right now.” After a heartbeat of examining the Shield boys, she pursed her lips. “She told me.”

Dean didn’t need to ask what. The look she was giving him told him all he needed to know. Guilt coursed through him when he realized that the Wonder Twin was being protective of Finch. Keeping her from getting hurt. From being near him.

“Look, you don’t understand –“ Seth began, and the Wonder Twin’s face doubled in fury as she shot him an alarmingly cold look.

“I don’t care about the reasoning,” she cut in, flicking her dark eyes back to Dean. “I’m not saying you need to date her, or whatever. If you don’t like her that’s fine. But the two of you clearly miss each other, and I’m tired of seeing Jamie hurt.”

“Well what else can I do?” he felt the surprise of both Seth and Roman as they looked at him. He hadn’t talked much with them about what had happened on Friday. And now he was asking this angry little diva for advice. “I can’t give her what she wants –“

“What she wants is you in her life,” the wonder twin shot back, now crossing her arms pointedly. “Dating isn’t the only way, you know. You guys can still be friends.”

“’Case you missed it, Finch just hightailed it the other way the moment she saw me. Don’t think she really wants to be friends, sweetheart.”

“What do you want?” she asked, and Dean’s brows raised, surprised.

“It don’t matter what –“

“That’s not what I asked,” she argued, narrowing her eyes. “You don’t want to date her, that’s fine. But do you want to be in her life? Do you want to be friends, or do you want to walk away?”

Dean swallowed hard as he studied the woman scowling at him. For all the shit the other wrestlers and diva’s had thrown around the locker rooms, he hadn’t understood why someone like Finch was best friends with someone like Wonder Twin. But he was quickly learning that how someone acted in the ring wasn’t who they really were.

He liked this chick, as nosy and bossy as she was. She took care of her friends like Dean took care of his boys, and that spoke a lot about the person she was. ‘Specially when it came to Finch.

“Yeah. ‘Course I wanna be her friend,” he said, feeling oddly like he was back in school. Wonder Twin gave a sharp nod and gave him a hard, meaningful look.

“Then think about that the next time you see her.”

With that, she spun on her heel and hurried off the way that Finch had gone, leaving Dean to think about what she’d said. ‘Course he wanted her in her life. But would Finch really wanna be friends after what had happened?

There was only one way he’d know for sure. The next time he came face to face with her, he wasn’t letting her run away.

--

Though I wasn’t surprised to see Nikki’s face leaning over the back of the couch, I’d really hoped that Shield had, like, taken her hostage or something. Or John had managed to distract her. Whatever it may be, so long as it kept me out of trouble. Luck, again, wasn’t on my side, and the scowl on her face told me I wasn’t backing out of this talk anymore.

“I thought you told me we’d handle it when we saw him,” she pointed out,

“I panicked,” I told her meekly, scooting to sit up and bundle my legs against my chest. She came around and sat next to me, tucking her legs up under her as she shifted to lean me on her shoulder.

“I know. I don’t get why, though. He totally wants to talk to you.”

“Yeah. To ask why they hell I threw myself all over him and hand me my restraining order,” I said quietly, feeling my cheeks head up at just the memory of his expression. “Nik, you didn’t see him –“

“No, I didn’t see him after the kiss. But I saw him today. He wanted to talk to you, Jellybean. He doesn’t hate you. You’re both hurting from this.”

“You got all that from one look?”

“Unlike you, I talk to people, not squeak and run the other way.”

“I did not squeak,” I argued immediately, scowling. She knew how much I hated when I did. “I just – how do you talk to someone after they reject you like that? Like, can you even really be friends?”

As Nikki let out a sigh, I tried to subtly shift myself out of her hold; my shoulder had started throbbing when I’d gotten back to the locker room, and it hadn’t let up. Her hold was heavy around my back, and it was pretty clear I wouldn’t be going anywhere.

“Just because he doesn’t want to date doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to be friends,” she pointed out, and I scoffed. “I mean, the past month aside, Dolph and I have been on good terms. We’re still friends. We talk and mess around. You can still be friends with Dean if you just suck it up and quit running away.”

“How did you think dating Dolph Ziggler was a good idea?” I said, making a face at her. Nikki rolled her eyes as I detangled myself from her, trying to hide the grimace of pain.

“I hope that’s not all you got out of that,” she sighed, getting up and turning to look down at me. “Just think about it. It would be nice to have him in your life as your friend, if nothing else. Right?”

“Right,” I said quietly, thinking back to the weeks we’d had teasing and taunting each other. I was surprised to realize how much I was missing it already.

“Good. Then think about that while we walk to the medic.”

“Wait, what?” I began as she reached down and, again, tugged me off the couch. “I’m fine! I don’t –“

“You’re a terrible liar,” Nikki laughed, shaking her head at me. “Don’t fight me on this. I can kick your ass on a good day, and right now it’d be a handicap match.”

“I’d still beat you. You’re in those ridiculous heels. I just need to unbalance you –“

I went to shove her into the door as we headed into the hall, but to my surprise she caught her stumble and used her momentum to knock me off balance. She let out a laugh and reached out to steady me, grinning.

“I’m telling John you’re attacking me while I’m injured.”

“We both know he’d side with me. You’re the troublemaker. He knows you would’ve started it.”

“No, he’s just biased because if he doesn’t take your side, you won’t sleep with him,” I threw out; when Nikki made a face of agreement I gasped in horror. “That’s disgusting! I was kidding!”

“I thought you loved being right!” she laughed as she held the door to the medic open for me. When I hesitated, the joking expression was gone, and she was suddenly, terrifyingly in the rare Mama Nikki roll. “Inside. Now.”

“Yes ma’am,” I said quickly, ducking past her and glancing back to offer a sheepish smile. Doc looked up, and seemed surprised to see me.

“Ms. Lawless. What brings you in?”

“Her shoulder’s hurting her a lot more than it should be,” Nikki answered, giving me a look to get on the exam table; I didn’t argue.

“Well, let’s have a look,” he said; Nikki leaned beside me and crossed her arms, giving me a smug look. She’d used her highly effective powers of channeling Brie’s parent mode, and she’d won. Jerk.

As Doc unwrapped and examined my shoulder, the two of us watched Raw. We’d missed a lot of it – which I was disappointed about, I loved the Slammy awards – so we had to catch up.

Ric Flair was just about to announce the Superstar of the Year, and to our surprise, John was nominated. Nikki didn’t even seem to know he’d been up for the award.

“He’s up against Punk,” she fretted, forgetting her irritation at me as she took my hand and squeezed it nervously.

“Like Punk stands a chance against Mr. PG himself,” I teased lightly, probably just as worried as she was.

“Your superstar of the year…” Flair said, opening up the envelope. Nikki and I held our breaths; her hand tightened painfully around mine. “John Cena!”

Nikki and I both cheered in excitement, throwing our hands up; I let out a gasp of pain and immediately dropped my arm back down. Doc barely stifled a snicker as I rubbed my shoulder resentfully.

“You shouldn’t do that,” he suggested, and I shot him an unamused look. Before I could respond, Nikki was suddenly rushing past me.

“I’ll be right back! I want to go congratulate him!” she called as she disappeared out the door. Not even a heartbeat later she ducked back in and pointed a finger at me in warning. “Do not leave without me. You’ll just get into trouble.”

“I will not!” I said indignantly; Doc snickered, unhindered this time. I scowled at him again. “You’re supposed to be on my side.”

“Oh I am. By all means, leave alone and get into trouble. Your injuries alone could keep me in a job for years.”

“You’re hilarious, you know that?” I muttered, watching as he re-wrapped my shoulder. After taping it off, he gave me a smile.

“I know. Sit tight. I’ll go grab you some medicine.”

To be fair, I did stay put. For about two minutes. But by the third I was out in the hall, scampering back to the locker room. True, Nikki had said to wait, but it was just the walk back to the locker room. Really. What could happen in a fifty-foot stretch? Besides, I was already feeling a lot better; I rolled my shoulder experimentally.

The squeak of pain that left me was incredibly undignified; okay, so it was still extremely sore. As I resentfully rubbed my bandage, the sound of the crowd rising up caught my attention. I hurried to the nearest monitor, and actually laughed.

I had no idea what I’d missed, but the outcome was freakin’ gold. Ric Flair had Paul Heyman down in the ring in a figure-four leg-lock, screamin’ like the baby walrus he was.

Judging by the broken crutches and discarded title belt scattered around them, Punk must’ve gotten his ass handed to him as well. Excellent. With another satisfied chuckle, I shook my head and headed back towards the locker room.

SIERRA. HOTEL. INDIA. ECHO. LIMA. DELTA. SHIELD.

I spun around so fast I nearly went in a complete circle; they couldn’t be serious. No. No way. I watched in disbelief as the boys stalked down the steps, eyes on the ring, dangerous smiles on their faces. The Shield were gonna attack Ric Flair?!

Forget that.

I was sprinting for the ring before their music even started.

Bryan whipped around the corner by gorilla position at the same moment I did, and our collision sent both of us reeling. I slumped into the wall as he nearly took out a stack of crates; we both stared at each other in surprise.

“No, absolutely not,” he snapped, recovering first and getting his footing back, rushing for the curtain. “You’re hurt, you’re not coming out!”

“I can help!” I argued, pushing off the wall to go after him. Dainty – yet alarmingly strong – hands locked onto my upper arms and hauled me back. Nikki. She kept a solid grip, and though I immediately tried to wrench free, my shoulder screamed in protest. Damn it!

“You have got to be kidding me,” she chastised, storming us back down the hall. “I swear I told you to stay in the medics room! If you go out there you’re just gonna hurt your shoulder more, Jamie! And with a concussion –“

“Bryan needs my help!”

“No, he needs you backstage, staying safe!”

“If it were John –“

“He would’ve marched you back himself,” she pointed out, and yeah, okay, she had a point. But still! My best friend was out there, outnumbered, with the Shield!

I had to help. Had to.

“Oh my god, John! Are you okay!?” I gasped, looking down the hall; just as I’d hoped, Nikki paused our struggling and turned. Her hands slackened just enough as her guard dropped, looking for her boyfriend.

Immediately, I threw myself forward and broke free. Tears came to my eyes and my vision actually faded for a few moments as blinding pain seared through my shoulder. But Nikki had stumbled back from my move and I was free.

‘Bat out of hell’ would be the best way to describe my flat-out sprint for the ring. My best friend was just a few steps behind me, but that was all I needed. I surged through the curtains and didn’t even pause on stage as I ran for the ring.

“OOOWAAAA!”

Roman’s war cry caught my attention first; and my heart skipped a beat. They were going to powerbomb Flair through the announce table. There was no way, with my bad shoulder, that I could realistically fight them all off of the old wrestler.

But Bryan was slowly getting to his feet by the barricade… if I could just stop them for long enough…

As Roman motioned for Dean and Seth to lift up Flair, I jumped onto the steel steps and took a flying leap onto the announce table, landing in a crouch and nearly falling off from the momentum. Points to me for keeping my balance and looking like a certified badass; I’d high-five myself for this later.

All three men turned to stare at me in absolute surprise, and it only added to the absolute badassery that I was feeling. Not even the surge of emotions at seeing Dean so suddenly could take that away.

“And Jamie Lawless, outta nowhere! On our announce table actually putting the brakes on the Shield’s attack!”

“She’s out on medical though, Michael! She can’t actually fight these men! She’s hurt! They’ll absolutely destroy her!”

“The hell you doin’ out here?!” Dean cried, shoving Flair off of him to turn to me. As I went to stand up, he actually looped an arm around my middle and hauled me off the table. The moment my feet hit the ground, I tensed for a fight, but the scowl on Dean’s face stopped me cold. “You’re hurt! Get backstage!”

For a moment I stared at him in absolute surprise. He was mad because I was out here? He was concerned for my safety? To confirm my thoughts, Dean actually grabbed my arms – unexpectedly gentle with his hold – and moved me towards the barricade.

“Get outta here –“

FEED. ME. MORE.

The crowd erupted, and Dean snarled in irritation, abandoning his attempts to get me to safety in order to head off the beast storming down the ramp. Seth threw Flair to the ground as he and Roman joined Dean. I skittered forward over the table and jumped down, kneeling next to the groaning wrestler.

“Hey, you okay?” I asked him quickly, resting a hand on Flair’s shoulder. He nodded, grimacing; I slid my arm behind his shoulders and eased him into a sitting position. “Let’s get you –“

A pair of strong arms locked around me from behind and wrenched me off my feet, twisting me painfully. Another undignified squeak of pain left me as Seth hauled me back, trying to throw me in the ring.

Not a moment later, Ryback was at my side, literally ripping the very alarmed Shield member off me and throwing him back. He caught my stumble and righted me gently, staring down in concern.

“You okay, Pipsqueak?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m good. Thanks, big guy.”

Ryback gave me a nod and then turned his attention to Seth. He let out a snarl and picked up the much smaller man, lifting him up over his head and literally throwing him over the barricade.

Bryan had managed to get to his feet, and I looked over just long enough to see him dumping a very stunned Dean over as well. Ryback turned his attention to Roman as I moved and helped Flair get to his feet. With Roman now over the barricade as well, Ryback turned back to me.

“In the ring, ‘Squeak,” he ordered, taking Flair for me as he motioned me ahead of him. With a wince of pain I rolled under the bottom rope; Bryan was at my side a moment later, gently pulling me to my feet. I turned to grin at him, only to stop short at the furious expression his face.

Even as Flair shook our hands and gathered us into the center of the ring, my best friend’s scowl didn’t fade. Yeah, he was gonna kill me. Flair took my good arm and raised it up as he did the same with Bryan on his other side. Ryback took Bryan’s other arm and threw it up; the four of us stood victoriously in the ring until the cameras lowered.

And then Bryan was bundling me out of the ring mercilessly. As soon as my feet hit the ground his hand locked onto my upper arm. His grip was just this side of painful as he hauled me up the ramp, Ryback right behind us. The moment we were backstage he spun me towards him and threw his hands up.

“What the hell, Jamie?! I say stay backstage, I mean it! You have a concussion! You are one step away from fracturing your shoulder blade, and you think it’s a good idea to go jump the freakin’ Shield?!”

“Look, I’m fine, okay?” at the look on his face, I added quickly, “it was all fine. I didn’t even fight! And besides, you needed backup. Team No Squeakback needs to stick together.”

Ryback, standing between us, actually snorted as Bryan’s mouth hung open, processing what I’d said. Just as he went to shoot back his reply, a very pissed off Nikki appeared at his shoulder.

“Jamie! What the hell –“

“What did you just call us?!” Bryan asked incredulously, and all three of us turned to look at him in surprise. Hell, I’d take anything to get out of trouble right now.

“We’re Team No –“ I pointed to him. “Squeak –“ I pointed to myself. “Back.” I finished, pointing to Ryback. Bryan was shaking his head, just this side of disgusted, as Nikki actually laughed in spite of her anger.

“You are not allowed to name things,” she decided. “First Jamien Sandless and now this.”

“Hey, both those team names are freakin’ gold –“

“No!” Bryan exclaimed just as one of the cameras broadcasting to the titantron approached us. “No! No! No! Absolutely not!”

“He sure puts the ‘No’ in No Squeakback,” I said offhand to Ryback and Nikki; both of them sniggered as Bryan wound up even more.

“We are not Team No Squeakback! That’s absolutely ridiculous! That is – that is possibly the stupidest name –“

“I like it,” Ryback decided, crossing his arms and sharing a grin with me. Bryan’s eyes widened incredulously as I grinned up at the big guy. He held out his fist, and we bumped as Nikki reached over and snagged my wrist, tugging me towards the locker room as Bryan started up his chant of ‘No!’, Ryback laughing over him.

--

I grinned in thanks up at Bryan as he leaned over the couch and sat a plate of food on my lap. We’d all nominated him to go gather us food – since our usual gatherer, John, was off getting ready for his match – and he hadn’t disappointed. Well, except for one questionable lump on my plate.

“What’re these?” I asked, poking at the pile of green on my plate.

“Kale wraps,” Bryan informed me, swatting my hand away and sweeping them onto his own plate. “They’re freakin’ delicious and I ran outta room on min and Brie’s plate.”

Brie rolled her eyes as her boyfriend plopped down on the cushion next to her. She was in the middle of the couch, and Nikki and I were… tangled on the far end. For lack of a better word. It actually worked pretty well, especially for stealing fries from Nikki’s plate.

We didn’t have a problem with our seating arrangement until my phone went off, and I realized what a feat it would be to get it out. I was sitting across Nikki’s lap, back against the arm of the couch, with our plates resting on my legs. One of her own legs was hooked over my shins, an arm wrapped behind me… yeah, tangled was a good word alright.

“Can you take those?” I asked her, twisting pointedly to try and grab my phone. She shrugged.

“This is more entertaining.”

“Jerk,” I muttered, twisting a bit more. “If I spill all this on you, I have no remorse.”

“You could just put them on the floor,” she pointed out as I shifted on her legs, trying to lift up enough to slide my phone out of my back pocket.

“Or you could just lift them up for like two seconds –“

“Oh my god, here,” Brie huffed, reaching over and grabbing the plates as she scowled at the two of us. Nikki and I offered cheeky smiles as I finally got my phone out glanced at the screen.

Am I mistaken or did I see you out at ringside with the Shield?

Stifling a sigh, I reached over and snagged a fry – pointedly off of Nikki’s plate – and popped it in my mouth as I typed out a hasty reply to Randy.

Before you worry, I didn’t get hurt and Bryan already ripped me a new one.

I’m already worried. You’re there without me, and clearly you’re unsupervised.

With a snort, I rolled my eyes and started to reply.

“Hey, look, it’s your baby daddy,” Nikki said excitedly; my head snapped up and I felt my cheeks burst into a blush as Sheamus came out to present the next Slammy.

“Wait, what?” Bryan spluttered, almost choking on his kale wrap as Brie whipped to stare at me in alarm.

“No, no, no,” I said hurriedly, elbowing my best friend in the stomach and desperately trying to get my face to return to its normal color. “Let’s not even go down that road.”

“Let’s see the nominees for Newcomer of the Year,” Sheamus said thankfully distracting our group. I’d gone for another handful of food the moment my music started playing; my head snapped up in surprise. I was nominated!?

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Nikki gasped, throwing her hand back and smacking me in the stomach. I let out a huff and shoved her arm back.

“I just found out!”

“Ohmygosh, Jellybean! We’re so voting for you!” she squealed, pulling out her phone as the others did the same. I’d just opened up the app to vote when Damien’s face came onto the screen; I actually gasped.

“I know who I’m voting for!” I said excitedly, and the twins gave me matching looks of disbelief.

“Uh, yeah. Yourself,” Brie said, and I scoffed.

“It’s tacky to vote for yourself. And besides, I gotta support my tag team.” At that moment, Ryback’s music started playing, and I actually groaned. “Okay, that’s just not fair.”

As the show cut to commercial, our group put the votes in. Everyone, again, was disappointed I didn’t vote for myself.

“Hey, I’m supporting the big guy,” I told them as Sheamus came back on the screen, card in hand. All of us sat forward excitedly as he cleared his throat.

“And the Newcomer of the Year is… Ryback!”

The others groaned as I let out a cheer of victory; Ryback’s music hit and he came marching out.

“I bet it’s all because you didn’t vote for yourself,” Bryan informed me; I rolled my eyes but kept the smile on my face as Ryback held up the award.

“Much as I appreciate this, and I do,” he said, looking across the crowd. “I’m splittin’ this fifty-fifty, with the newcomer that’s had my back since they got here. Jamie Lawless, the other half of Team Squeakback.”

“Yeah, Team Squeakback!” I cheered, throwing my arms up on reflex and then squeaking in pain. Bryan and Nikki laughed at my outburst as Brie immediately turned to me, scowling at the other two as I rubbed my shoulder tenderly.

“Did you take your medicine yet?”

“Oh yeah,” I said sheepishly, smiling at her as she narrowed her eyes. “I uh, never actually got the medicine…”

“Oh, is that when you ignored Bryan and I and ran out to the ring to fight the Shield?” Nikki asked unhelpfully and I scowled at her.

“Yeah, thanks for that,” I said dryly as the irritation flitted over Mama Brie’s face.

“Jamie, you need your medicine,” she scolded, and the look she was giving me was enough to coax me off the couch.

“Yeah, but it’s all the way back at the medic’s office, and I’m hungry –“

“Jamie. Medicine. Now,” she said sternly, sounding just like Nikki had earlier, clearly not in a mood to be messed with.

“I’m going, I’m going,” I said quickly, holding my hands out in fake surrender as I headed for the door. Bryan leaned back over the couch and grinned at me.

“Hey, troublemaker. Get me more kale wraps.” As I gave him the middle finger he immediately gasped and slid back down to look at Brie. “She flipped me off!”

“You damn tattletale,” I laughed, shaking my head as I headed for the room I spent way too much time in. The door was shut so I knocked a few times, with no response.

"Doc?" I tried, easing it open a bit; nothing. No, scratch that. A bag of medicine – yes, a freakin’ bag – was sitting on the counter, labeled LAWLESS. I let myself in the rest of the way and went over to snatch it up.

I turned over in my hand and studied one of the labels: Jeanette Westbrook. Jeeze, I sounded like some stuffy rich woman that belonged on a yacht, eating shrimp with a tiny fork –

"Why does she call you Jellybean?"

Though I did nearly jump out of my skin, I managed to keep the squeak of surprise to myself as I spun around. The bag fell out of my hands as I bumped back into the counter, gripping the edge of it to steady myself. Dean was leaning against the doorway, arms crossed as he waited for my answer.

"What?" I managed, a little breathless as I stared at him in absolute bewilderment. Dean's brows flicked up.

"Half of the Wonder Twins. One with the tits. She –"

"Nikki."

Now it was his turn to be confused.

"What?"

"Her name is Nikki."

The corner of his lips twitched – either in amusement or annoyance – as he asked again,

"Why does Nikki call you Jellybean?"

As he studied me, waiting for an answer, the shock of his sudden appearance finally began to fade, and I remembered exactly who I was talking to. The memories of the last few days surged forward from where I'd shoved them, and the ache in my chest hit so suddenly it was almost overwhelming.

Unable to come up with a tougher response, I shrugged my good shoulder meekly and glanced away.

"'Cause that's her nickname for me."

"What, you ain't gonna open up to me, Finch?"

Finch. The nickname settled heavy on top of the other feelings surfacing, and I felt the tears threatening to start up. Damnit Jamie! Come on! My eyes flicked back to him.

"Does it really matter what she calls me?" I scoffed, admittedly a little more hostile than I needed to be as I crossed my arms over my chest.

"C'mon. I don't bite." A smirk twisted his lips. "Unless, y'know, you like that sorta thing."

"You're hilarious," I muttered, ignoring the weird twist of arousal and angst that surged up. I'd missed our joking and teasing, but was that really what we should be doing after the kiss? "Why does it matter what her nickname is for me?"

"'Cause I wanna know."

"Okay," I said, turning to face him fully and lifting one brow at him. "Tell me why you attacked Randy."

"Why does it matter?" he threw back, and I scoffed again, rolling my eyes.

"Because you put my boyfriend in the hospital,” I said immediately, and I snapped my mouth shut. Oh shit. Not even a full day and I had just thrown out my secret! But Dean didn’t say anything if he’d caught my slip up, so I continued quickly, “I think I have more of a right to know why than you do about –"

"Wrong place, wrong time."

As my words trailed off, I stared up at Dean in uncertainty, all my worries about my slip-up gone. That was his answer? When he caught my expression, he shrugged, but didn't smirk. He was being serious.

"Excuse me?" I asked in disbelief; he shrugged again.

"I was pissed, he was there. It happens."

"Seriously? That's all there was to it?"

"Yep," he said, popping the 'p' as he stared me down. Ignoring the way his gaze practically burned through me, burned me up and threatened to break me again.

I shrugged and decided not to push the issue. When Dean realized I accepted his answer, he flicked his brows up. I pointedly raised them back as he hinted,

"I showed you mine. You show me yours."

In spite of everything, I actually gigged.

"That's not how it works," I teased, and to my surprise, his mouth flickered into the hint of a genuine smile for just a moment. Again my chest tightened and I let out a breath. It was such a relief to be talking to him, like my whole body was just relaxing now that it had gotten what it'd been craving.

For just a heartbeat, I put the kiss out of my mind. I just wanted to enjoy his company. So I let myself relax a bit as I gave into his question with the hint of a smile on my face.

"Most of my friends call me Jay, and my middle name is Leigh." When he just continued to stare, I elaborated. "JayLeigh. Jelly. She just adds the 'bean' cause she thinks she's cute or something."

"Huh," Dean offered, and I snorted at his response.

"What, not as revolutionary and groundbreaking as you'd expected?"

"Anyone actually call you by your real name?"

"Damien Sandow,” I said immediately, and for once my knee-jerk reply was accurate. Dean snorted and I added, “besides, technically Jay is my real name. Or at least part of it."

"Whatever you say, Jeanette," he threw out, and of course I felt my cheeks tint. He chuckled again, and we fell into the silence I'd wanted to avoid. Both of us dropped our eyes to the ground, and I felt the unease curling in my stomach.

How had I grown to miss talking to him when I'd only been doing it for a couple weeks? We'd never really talked before we both made it on the roster, and even then it had just been flirtatious threats. But this… this was nice. And after the weekend I'd had…

"I uh, just wanted to come see how you were doin'," he said after another moment, catching me by surprise. My eyes flicked up to him; he was studying his boots intently until I asked,

"Why?"

His eyes snapped to mine and his brow furrowed. I could feel the embarrassment and the pain on my face, but I didn’t try to cover it up this time. You’re both hurting from this. Nikki’s words seemed to be true. Dean looked just as upset as I was.

"Look. Just uh… what happened the other night –" he cleared his throat, but to my surprise he kept his eyes on me as I said quietly, "I care about ya, Finch. An' seein' you hurt like that… I was worried, okay?"

“Sorry,” I said softly, the other words I’d been preparing to say getting caught in my throat. At a loss of words, and with the guilt heavy on my shoulders, another face popped to mind. “Is uh… Is Seth okay?”

Dean was taken aback by my question, but he nodded quickly. Was that a hint of jealousy in his eyes? It was gone a moment later as he reached up and scratched the back of his neck, letting his hand linger there.

“He’s fine. Got a hard head. He bounces back.” When I nodded in relief, glad I hadn’t hurt Seth too bad being reckless, Dean pressed again, “but whatta ‘bout you? You’re all wrapped up an’ got a whole pharmacy on the floor.”

Oh yeah. I glanced down, but before I could move to grab it, Dean was across the room, stooping down and scooping the bag up. When he righted himself, he was standing over me.

We hadn’t been this close since the kiss; I wasn’t counting kicking each others asses yesterday and today as being ‘close’. He reached past me and sat the meds on the counter behind me, and then to my surprise his fingers came up to brush over the bandage.

“What the doc tell you?”

“Nothin’s fractured, but I’ve got pretty deep bruising on my shoulder blade. Whatever that bone is,” I said softly; I couldn’t take my eyes off his. I was suffocating in the unknown. Were we okay? Was this the last talk we’d be having? Where did we go from here?

“Scapula. Bet that hurts like a bitch,” he offered, smile quirking his lip just a bit again, earning another giggle from me.

“Bet you’re right.”

Dean’s fingers were still resting on my bandaged arm; as if he realized this at the same time, he withdrew his touch, and took half a step back. My heart sank just a bit as I realized what was happening.

“Glad you’re okay, Finch,” he said quietly, inching towards the door. Like he didn’t want to leave, but he couldn’t stay here like this. With that damn unreadable expression on his face and his fingers twitching, like he just wanted to reach out and touch me again.

He turned to leave, and everything within me surged forward at the same time. I took a step forward and snagged a loop on his vest. Dean paused, surprised, and looked back at me.

“Just – wait. Please. Don’t go.”

He had to stay. He had to. Because Nikki was so right. I was miserable without him in my life. I couldn’t date him? Okay. Whatever. I had Randy, right? And like she’d pointed out, dating wasn’t all we were able to do.

“Finch –“

“No, I know. And – and it won’t happen again,” I said, skirting painfully over the last misstep I’d made with him. My eyes searched his, almost desperate. He turned completely to face me and I reluctantly let go of his vest. “I just – okay. Not to be sappy or anything, I just…”

Dean waited patiently as I took a breath and sorted out my words. When I finally looked back up and met his eyes, everything came spilling out.

“I’d rather have you in my life as my friend, if nothing else. I overstepped before. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, and I’m really sorry Dean.” His eyes flicked between mine as I slowed down my words and got a little quieter. “It’s just – it’s actually sucked, not messing around with you and stuff. Y’know?”

“Yeah. I uh, I do.”

Wait, what?

Dean caught the surprise on my face, and now his cheeks actually tinted just the slightest shade of pink. Again he reached up to rest his hand on the back of his neck as he stared down at me.

“So if you feel the same way, why haven’t we talked?” I asked, and Dean’s face actually pulled into an ‘are you serious’ expression. “What?!”

“You’re the one runnin’ away from me all the time.”

“I did not –“

“Earlier. With Wonder Twin.”

“Nikki.”

“Sure. You’re ignorin’ the point I’m makin’.”

“No, I’m just – that’s beside the point,” I said, waving my hand in dismissal. He scoffed and gave me another look.

“No it ain’t. I’m not the one avoidin’ the situation, Finch.”

“Yeah, well –“ I huffed and let my eyes drop again; Dean’s hand snaked out and tipped my head back up.

“We’re good, okay?” he said softly, squeezing gently before dropping his hold. “So quit your runnin’.”

“Okay,” I said, just as soft, swallowing the lump in my throat. Only made worse when Dean actually gave me a full-on smile. His tongue pressed against his teeth as his nose scrunched up just a hint, dimples popping up on his cheeks and making him look ridiculously adorable. I couldn’t help but grin back at him, and he chuckled as he shook his head.

“C’mon. Let’s get you back before you have a search party after you.”

As I moved for the door, Dean stepped around me and reached back; he grabbed my bag of medicine and tossed it lightly to me. I caught it and gave him a sheepish smile.

“Oh yeah.”

“Oh yeah,” he mocked, motioning me through the door ahead of him. I looked over my shoulder and scowled; he smirked as he fell into step with me. Even now, just walking down the hall with him, I felt more content than I had in days.

“What, you’ve never forgotten something before?” I challenged, looking up at him; good god he was tall.

“Nah.”

“So what, the eccentric Dean Ambrose never forgets anything?”

“Nope,” he said, popping the ‘p’ again as he shoved his hands into his pockets, smirking.

“Okay then,” I laughed, an idea popping into my head; he glanced down at my tone and raised a brow, smirk still in place. “What’s ‘Wonder Twin’s real name?”

Dean’s face fell and I laughed, rolling my eyes. To my surprise, he reached out and actually nudged me over, making me bump into the wall.

“You’re a sore loser,” I giggled, coming back up to him and pushing him back. He stumbled, and then shot a glare back; I put my hands up. “Don’t look at me! That was all on you, klutz.”

“You’re lucky you’re hurt,” he threatened, the danger lessened by the smile he was trying to hide. Was he as relieved as I was to have the bantering back? It was easy, walking and talking with him. Joking around. It felt right, compared to the anger and the hurt and the avoidance. It was nice.

As we rounded the corner, locker room in sight, Dean paused and put his hand on my arm to stop me too. When I looked up at him, I was a little concerned to see the joking expression had dropped off his face. Instead, he was studying me with something dangerously close to concern.

“Look. I been, uh, I been meanin’ t’ say this.”

Oh no. My stomach dropped a few dozen miles and I barely concealed the alarm in my expression as I studied his face. He huffed out a breath and his hand came up to rub nervously at his opposite shoulder. When he finally locked eyes with me, I asked meekly,

“You wimpin’ out on me, Ambrose?”

To my relief, he chuckled and shook his head just a bit, gaze momentarily dropping to his shoes before rolling back up. He took a breath and then nearly mumbled,

“That shit on Sunday? The moonsault, throwin’ yourself out with Roman, the other moonsault, jumpin’ off that ladder… I don’t like seein’ you reckless.”

My words caught in my throat as I stared in surprise up at him. He gave a nervous cough and rubbed his shoulder a little harder as he added,

“I know you ain’t like that. You’re smart. So uh, I don’t wanna see you doin’ shit like that again. You coulda really hurt yourself.” He took his arm off his shoulder and brushed it down mine. “You did, an’ I’m glad it ain’t somethin’ worse. So just… use that brain of yours. Okay?”

His hand fell uncertainly to his side, and it hit me that he, just like Bryan and Nikki and Brie and John, had been worried about me. He wasn’t as vocal or aggressive as the others, but the tone of his voice, the way he was staring down at me, showed me that he was in fact worried.

I acted without thinking.

My arms wreathed around his waist as I stepped forward, resting my cheek on his chest and hugging him lightly, testing the waters. For a moment, he tensed under me, and I nearly pulled away until his arms wrapped around my shoulders.

He tucked me to him, squeezing just a bit more than me, resting his chin on the top of my head. I took a deep breath as he relaxed under my hold, practically melting around me. Dean Ambrose was a very impressive hugger. No surprise there, considering the practically illegal arms he had to hug with.

“I’m sorry,” I said quietly, and his arms tightened just a hint. For just a moment, it felt like his lips pressed against my hair before he murmured back,

“S’okay. Just take care of yourself.”

“Yes sir,” I teased as we reluctantly loosened our hold on one another; I took half a step back. The look on Dean’s face was probably the same one on mine. We didn’t want the hug to end.

“Think you can get to the locker room without causin’ trouble?” he mused, stuffing his hands in his pockets and moving back to let me pass. I rolled my eyes as I headed down the hall, turning to walk backwards and face him.

“That’s insulting, you know.”

“Truth hurts,” he teased; and then he let another real smile tug his lips up as he shot me a wink. “See y’ later, Finch.”

The smile didn’t leave my face.

Not when I went back to the locker room and got chewed out for forgetting the kale wraps, or through the entire car ride with Bryan and Brie. Not even when I remembered I was sleeping alone in my room tonight, nor when I didn’t get a call from Randy.

Even when my two calls to him went to voicemail, the warmth from earlier lingered soothingly in my chest. For the first time in three days, I curled up in my bed and went to bed happy, looking forward to waking up.

Everything was back in place.