A Little Bit of Everything

WHAT WOULD YOU do if your roommate’s parents came into your room before you lay one on your boyfriend?

Nothing.

You do nothing because the room was full and you couldn't perform with that fucking pressure on yourself.

My roommate was crying with his parents, and I wanted to think it was cute, but honestly, all I could think of was please don't make me cry too and please stop before I slam the door in your faces.

Keegan–the boy I was about to play around with–was on my mattress, snickering, watching the family in the hallway too. He was probably laughing at me for one, having him as my roommate or two, having to meet his family. Either one, I fucking hated both of it.

As my new roommate and his parents walked into the small dorm, Keegan got off my bed and announced that he was leaving. My roommate’s mother sort of eyed Keegan down, and I wanted to make her stare harder, so I said bye to Keegan, told him I'll meet him for dinner and slapped his butt in front of the roommate’s family. The father ignored me; the mother–she gasped–turned her attention to me.

“What's your name?” Her voice sounded nothing like her expression; it was like honey against a stone. Damn. Her thick accent bounced off the walls and straight into my ears.

“Jasper Espinoza, nice to meet you.”

“And you are from?”

Roommate opened his mouth. “Downtown Honolulu.”

Shit. That was fast.

I looked at him and he was staring out the window, avoiding eye contact with me. I'm surprised.

His mother glanced at him, surprised like me. She asked him how'd he know that and he simply said, “From Facebook. We chatted a few times.”

She rose her eyebrows as if she was asking, why the hell would you do that?

Roommate knew that expression too so he explained himself. “Mom, everyone does it. Everyone does research on their future roommates on social media to check if they're, you know, cool or not.”

His mother murmured under her breath, “Bakit siya–”

She stopped mid sentence when her husband placed a hand on her shoulder. “Gina,” he hushed.

She looked apologetic but she doesn't say sorry. “Jasper,” she said in her thick Filipino accent. “It's nice meeting you.” She glanced at her son. “Unpack. We're getting dinner.”

His mother's black hair was above her shoulders, slowly turning gray strand by strand. She had small eyes and a thin smile–I assumed that's where my roommate got his small prominent features from. Her teeth weren't perfect, but I was sure a smile from her meant something.

She left and her husband immediately followed her. His accent wasn't as strong as his wife’s accent. Not to mention he was more mellow compared to his spouse. From the moment he walked into the dorm, he had a light smile on his face that never faded.

“We’ll be near the library. Meet us there, okay?” his father said before slowing backing out of the room.

Roommate's parents left and it was just me and him. He stayed quiet until I turned around to get my phone.

“Sorry about my mom.” He paused, “She’s nice, I swear. She's just a little–slightly–”

“It's cool.” I reached for the door. “You don't have to explain to me, man. Don't worry about it. See you in a couple of days.”

I mean, I never have to fucking see roommate’s family again, right?