I Hate You, I Love You

Frank's P.O.V

The next morning I was snapped out of my sleep by the sound of the alarm clock ringing in an unusually earlier time than it should have. I woke up in a daze, barely remembering the night before as I struggled to recall how I got up to my bedroom or when I even fell asleep. The only memory being of sitting on the uncomfortably hard couch in the living room watching a show I wasn't even that interested in while waiting for my dad's safe arrival. I knew He couldnt care less if I waited up for him or not and honestly, I don't think I cared either. But he was still my dad, and the least I could do was watch out for his safety.
As I laid on my bed trying to recall other pieces from the events of last night, I remembered the reason why I woke up earlier in the first place. I decided to walk to school today, one reason being so I wouldn't upset my father. I knew yesterday was an exception because it was my first day but today I had no excuse and the thought of making him angry was not on my to-do list. The second reason for the walk was to see if I bumped into Mikey on the way there. I knew he hated being late, and his geeky ways made it hard for him not to arrive earlier than others to catch up on his studies. And of course knowing Mikey, it wouldn't be a surprise if he took Phil along with him, the thought of a hyped up Mikey dragging a sleepy Phil to school made me crack a small smile.

I struggled to get out of bed, which seemed extremely warm and comfortable under my body. After about five minutes of failed attempts at prying myself off the safety of my own mattress, I got up and got ready for school.
I ran down the stairs, my father was sitting in the same seat I found him in yesterday morning, except now he replaced his nutty, bold smelling coffee with a glass of plain, icy cold water. In his hand was a ice pack held up to his head and in the corner of my eye I could see a small bottle of pain killers on the counter next to him. I stared in confusion as the realization hit me that he had came home extremely wasted last night. I remembered asking if he was okay, only for him to tell me to piss off and that he would be fine in the morning after a night's rest.
He didn't seem as drunk as the last time I saw him but his hangover was still present as he looked over at me and held his ice pack even closer to his head.

"Are you feeling better ?" I asked as I approached the counter and sat across from him.

He looked up at me with an annoyed expression
"Do I look any better ?" He answered, sarcasm present in his voice.

I knew he wasn't okay, he didn't look okay at the very least.
"I'm sorry" was all i mustered up to say, instantly regretting even asking the stupidly obvious question
I looked over at the clock. If I didn't leave soon I wouldn't have enough time to get to school without being late. I got up quickly and threw my book bag over my shoulder as I looked at my father struggling to open the bottle of pills.

"I'm leaving now, Dad" I stated simply as I was walking to the door not expecting a response back

"Frank" my dad started as I was about to open the door.
I spun around and looked over with excitement as I waited for his goodbye

It never came and my expression soon dropped as I saw the cold, expressionless eyes on his face."Don't forget to buy another bottle of pills before you get home" he finished, as he downed the last of the pills and threw away the empty bottle of pain killers before walking away to the upstairs room.

I didn't say anything else before I pushed the door open and headed my way to school in silence.

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I didn't see Mikey or Phil on my way to school but I still found it pretty relaxing to let the cool breeze of September air hit me as I made my way down the block. I also got a chance to observe my surroundings which I previously missed with the walk home from school yesterday. I noticed that this particular area of jersey was calm, yet full of life as the diversity of each block was significantly obvious. There was no real way to distinguish where the poor were separated from the rich as each street had different comfortabilities for every family.

I stopped absorbing the environment when I saw Belleville up ahead and I started sprinting towards the giant building, not wanting to screw my chances of being on time.

I arrived to my first period just in time. The last bell rung once I stepped foot in the classroom, and I sighed in relief. Mrs.Abbot gave me a weird look as I was catching my breath after running up the stairs to class.
I soon caught a glance at Mikey sitting in his seat as I walked by and he looked at me in confusion. I sat down and he turned around instantly

"Are you okay ? You seem out of breath" he asked as he saw me wiping off some sweat from my forehead with my sleeve.

I looked at him with an annoyed look on my face
"I walked my way to school and I would've been late if I hadn't ran the rest of the way here" I started "where were you anyway ? I was hoping I would've seen you or Phil" I asked

Mikey gave me an apologetic look as he pushed his glasses up, a habit of his I've noticed in the small amount of time I've spent with him
"Gerard gave me a ride" he explained.

My mind Suddenly went back to the black haired boy. I didn't bump into him this morning like I did yesterday. I didn't even see him, probably because I was too busy running to class.
"Oh" I said casually as I gave Mikey a small smile, which hopefully gave him the idea that I wasn't mad at him

Once Mikey was positive that I wasn't upset he dropped the subject and turned back around. Mrs.Abbot was passing out a worksheet of the same equations we did yesterday and we went straight to work without another word.

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Once lunchtime rolled around, Phil was already by my locker as I was walking towards him. I greeted him with a small smile and a simple 'Hello'. As we walked down the same hallways as before, I was hoping we wouldn't bump into Gerard again and that we would actually have a chance at going to lunch this time. When we turned the same corner as last time we were relieved to not see Gerard there, we made our way slowly down the hall and as soon as I stepped foot in the cafeteria I noticed there were more people than I had anticipated. I started feeling anxious as I walked further into the cafeteria to where they were handing out the food. To my dismay, the food was as gross looking as I had imagined it to be, yet I couldn't stop staring down at it because it was the only way of not looking up at the other people in the room.

"Follow me" Phil suddenly said as he walked towards a empty table in the middle of the cafeteria. I followed suit as I felt nothing less than uncomfortable.

I was scanning my surroundings before I suddenly caught a glimpse of Gerard on the other side of the room. He was at a table in the middle pushed up to the wall and he was accompanied by what I'm guessing were his friends. They were making fun of a kid they had just tripped over and I felt nothing less than sympathy for the scrawny little kid on the floor. I was snapped out of my thoughts when Phil started talking again

"Don't worry" he started as he saw me looking over at the group "they won't bother you if you don't give them a reason to" he finished with a comforting look on his face
I knew he was lying. I doubt the boy on the floor did anything to them to deserve being humiliated that way. Phil just wanted me to feel less anxious.

The rest of the period was spent in silence as we hesitantly ate the saddest excuse for a burger I've ever seen as I kept looking over as Gerard and his group as they made fun of people throughout the whole rest of the period.

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After lunch was over I parted ways with Phil and headed straight to art. As I was walking towards the hallway to Ms.Lynn's class I saw her in the same spot as yesterday, greeting her students sweetly as they piled in the classroom. I smiled as her as she saw me walking towards her and she returned the warm greeting instantly

"Nice to see you again, Frank" she said as I walked through the door and walked over to my seat. Everything looked the same as it did yesterday except for some new drawings plastered on the wall above the board.

As soon as the bell rung and Ms.Lynn checked that nobody was hurriedly running down the hall before she closed the door, she got us straight to work. She had collected our unfinished drawings from yesterday's assignment and was passing it out.

As soon as I got handed my drawing I started working on it instantly, adding more to the drawing as I used my beat up pencil incase I made any mistakes. As I drew out the small details, my mother's face came to life and I could imagine her in my head with her long black hair and hazel green eyes. People always told me I looked just like her and as I finished my sketch, I couldn't help but shed a small tear. Even though she's been gone for a year my memory of her is still fresh in my mind. I wiped away the tear quickly as I saw Ms.Lynn walking towards me

"Oh my, this is really good Frank !" She exclaimed as she looked down at the portrait of my mother. I smiled in embarrassment and thanked her as she spoke again
"Would you like to paint your drawing ? It would make it look more realistic" she suggested
I decided to take her advice and grab some oil based paints as I returned to my seat, unsure of how to use them or how to even start.

I was hesitantly painting in the lines being extra careful, as I didn't want to mess up and ruin my mother's beautiful face.
"You're doing it wrong" a voice suddenly said, making me jump in surprise.

I looked up to see none other than Gerard looking down at my poor efforts of painting. He looked uninterested with the same blank expression in his face.
"Leave Frank alone, Gerard" Ms.Lynn's soft yet stern voice echoed through the room

Gerard looked down at me one last time before muttering an almost inaudible 'whatever' as he put his hands in his pockets and walked away.
I was surprised. I didn't know he had this class, I didn't even see him walk in in the first place. But now he's here and I knew I had to stay as far away from him as possible.

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After class I didn't speak to Gerard again. I was currently at my locker putting away all my books since I didn't have any homework to worry about.
As I closed my locker I saw a more than happy Mikey running towards me with Phil walking behind him. I laughed as Mikey ran up and literally jumped up in excitement

"FRANK, YOU NEED TO COME TO MY HOUSE " he screamed as he got closer to me. I stepped back as I didn't wanna get hit with Mikey swinging arms and I looked at Phil in hopes he would enlighten me

"He got a new video game yesterday and he's been dying to try it out" Phil simply stated as he walked up to us. I nodded in understanding.
I was about to say no when I looked over at Mikey's pleading eyes and I knew at that moment that Mikey had won.

"Sure" I said as Mikey jumped up again in excitement

He dragged us out of the school building as we reached the parking lot where we saw Gerard leaning against his car smoking another cigarette. He didn't say a word as we ran up, Mikey calling 'shotgun' as soon as he saw the opportunity. We drove off to the direction of the Way's house. We were all silent except for Mikey who was rambling on about his day. As few minutes went by and I had successfully blocked out Mikey's voice, I remember my dad, who was probably already home waiting for me to come home, and I knew he wouldn't be happy when I came home late without his new bottle of pills.