I Hate You, I Love You
Chapter 6
Frank's P.O.V
As I woke up, I could already feel the effects from the night before. My arms felt sore as I stretched my body and I felt a searing pain in the pit of my stomach as I hunched over to get up. I hadn't seen the physical damage but I knew, by the internal pain that I felt, that it wasn't looking good for me. I made my way to the bathroom, and as I stepped in front of the mirror I could see the light green and yellow bruising scattered throughout my neck and arms as they peeked though my shirt. As I uncovered my hidden stomach I can see it was worse than my arms as it already turned a dark purple color which contrasted drastically next to my pale colored skin. I left the bathroom, unable to keep looking at my ugly, beat up complexion. I decided to cover up as much as I could by keeping my hoodie on, but in case people did notice I already had a story made up.
Once I was done getting ready I jolted my way down the steps in the hopes that I wouldn't bump into my dad. To my surprise, I didn't see him sitting in the same spot as before and I didn't wait to figure out where he was before I quickly went out the door and went on my way to school.
I didn't inspect my surroundings this time. Instead, I speed walked my way there, considering yesterday I was almost late and I honestly didn't feel like running my way to class.
As I entered the building I saw that I still had about 15 minutes until the bell rung so I decided to go to my locker. As I was ready to close my locker to go to class, I felt someone grab me by my book bag and pulled me away as another pushed my locker closed. As I turned to see who was holding me back, I saw it was the same guys who were in Gerard's table at lunch yesterday.
They were both taller than me, the one holding me back being the tallest. I noticed he had a big fluffy Afro, he wasn't skinny but he wasn't considered fat either. The guy who was now leaning against my locker, which he previously closed, had straight, blonde hair and he was heavier set. I was confused as to what they were doing until the short one finally spoke
"Are those marks on your neck ? What ? You like being choked ?" He asked as they both started laughing. I was held tightly in place by the Afro guy and I felt as he was grasping hard on the area where the bruising on my arms were. As they noticed I wasn't responding the same guy grabbed my face with his firm hand.
"C'mon I'm talking to you, answer my question" he said with a more stern voice this time. To be honest, I couldn't take these guys serious. I was already hurting and the only thing I wanted to do was get my ass to class.
"No" I said confidently as I held my ground, only to be punched in the face when I didn't comply.
They started beating me up, kicking my body where the bruising was already present which made it that much worse. As I was on the floor, I couldn't help to think that Gerard was behind all this. He might of sent these two to beat me up as revenge for me looking in his room yesterday. All kicking seemed to stop once I heard the frantic yelling of Mikey as he ran his way to the scene. The boys who were previously kicking me senseless ran away before they got caught. Mikey knelt down beside me and made sure I was still awake before he carried me away to the nurse's office before the bell rang signaling the beginning of class.
Mikey had to leave once he bought me to the nurse. The room was small, with white colored walls and the smell of medicine, that hit me as soon as I came in, made me sick to my stomach. The nurse was currently filling out some paperwork on the incident as I sat on the patient bed waiting to be bandaged up. I didn't even care that I was late for first period as the only thought in my mind was how I was going to confront Gerard Way.
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I was walking to lunch with Phil as I was plotting a plan of how to go up to Gerard. As we stepped in the lunchroom, however, I didn't see him sitting in his spot where his friends were. I decided that the only way I would do this is if I did it now before I second guessed myself. I caught phil's attention as I spoke
"Hey um, I can't stay, I have to go finish some work for math class" I lied as I gave him an apologetic look.
"Oh, that's fine" Phil said before I ran out of the room in search of the black haired boy.
I was searching through the hallways, looking to see if I could find some sort of hint of Gerard's whereabouts. I looked on every hallway, every bathroom, even the back of the school where I was sure he would be smoking his life away but to no prevail, I gave up. I was walking my way to art, which would be my next class. I thought that I'd go early since there was no reason to go back to lunch. As I looked though the door window ,however, I found who I was looking for. Gerard was sitting on one of the back row seats seeming fairly interested on the artwork in front of him. As I looked over to Ms.Lynn's desk, I saw that she wasn't in the room and I knew this would be my time to say what I wanted to say.
I walked in the classroom slowly and as I strolled my way up to Gerard ready to ask about this morning. I suddenly stopped in my tracks as I looked down at what he was looking at, realizing it was the portrait of my mother, making me forget everything I was going to say as I balled my fists up in anger. Gerard suddenly noticed my presence but didn't get a chance to explain before I started shouting
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY PORTRAIT ?" I yelled as I threw myself at him trying to take it away from him
"Hey,hey chill" Gerard said as he held his hands up defensively trying to calm me down
But I didn't calm down as I started swinging at him, hitting him on the chest repeatedly trying to get him to give back my drawing
"NO LET GO, GIVE IT BACK !!" I screamed louder as my punches got more aggressive.
"HEY" Gerard boomed getting a hold of both my wrists, making my screaming lower down to a whimper as I started to cry in frustration. Once he saw me calming down he let go of me.
"Calm down, it's just a drawing.." He started up again as he held it up to my face
"You ruined it already with you horrible painting skills anyway " he finished, watching him ripping the paper as my mother's face instantly disappeared into tiny pieces as he threw what was left of her to the floor.
And then I punched him.
I punched him as hard as I could as I felt everything I balled up inside of me from my mother's death leave out of my body in that one single hit to the jaw. I felt my hand start to bleed with the contact of Gerard's jawbone as Gerard fell back at the force almost making him trip.
I couldn't see anything through my tear filled eyes as I felt myself fall to the floor where the pieces of paper laid. I couldn't hear anything except for the loud shriek of Ms.Lynn's voice screaming at our direction
"BOYS! BOYS!! STOP OH MY GOD" Ms. Lynn didn't know what to do or what to say as she walked through the door. I think she called some school staff because a few minutes later I felt my body being lifted and carried out of the room as I blacked out completely.
--------------------------------------------
Gerard and I were in detention.
After the incident, Gerard and I were sent to the nurse's office. She looked at me with a questioning look as she had already seen me in the morning, but she didn't say anything as she started to disinfect and bandage my bloody fist.
Gerard was in another room which I felt grateful for because if I would see him again I swear I wouldn't think twice on killing him.
But now that we were out of the nurse's office we were transferred to a detention room where we would have to stay in for the rest of the day.
I was currently sitting on one end of the room in the front as Gerard was sitting in the other side of the room in the back corner. Of course there was a teacher supervising us to make sure we wouldn't try killing each other again but he wasn't doing a good job as he was dozing off on his desk.
A good hour passed by before the teacher had to leave to the bathroom.
"Try not to get in any more trouble" he said as he left the room, but not before locking the door.
We didn't say anything until I heard footsteps from behind me. As I turned around, I could see Gerard was walking to the front of the classroom but he passed by me as he went to the door. He started picking at the lock.
I stayed quiet as I observed him playing with the door knob. After about 2 minutes he whispered a silent "yess" as a small "click" sounded throughout the room and in a matter of seconds he swung the door open. I was sure he was gone before he poked his head through the door
"Are you coming ?" He asked as he looked over at me.
"W-W- what?" I asked surprised as I looked up at him
"Are you coming or not ?" He repeated his last question and I sat still not knowing what to say or do. Gerard finally grew impatient
"Look Frank, if you don't move I'm leaving you in this room and then you'll die or boredom" he threaten as he stood up right, putting his hands over his chest waiting for my response.
I pondered for a second as the thought of being in this room for any longer made me jump up and follow him without a second thought.
-------------------------------------------
Gerard guided me down the hallway, making me duck or keep quiet when we heard a voice or footsteps of teachers. We ended up escaping through a back door before walking down to the parking lot. Gerard was going home, so I decided to let him take me home, too.
As we speeded away in the direction of my house I finally took a good look at Gerard. I could see the mark I left on his jaw as it was already bruising. It brought satisfaction to know that I got in a punch before we were dragged out but I also felt bed because the nice side of me never acted that way towards anybody
"Hey, Gerard ?" I asked in a quiet voice
"Hm ?" He said as his eyes never left the road but I knew he would be listening to me
I played with my fingers as I thought of the right words to say
"Sorry about punching you earlier.." I said with resentment written all over my face.
Gerard just gripped the steering wheel tighter at the mention of it
"It's fine. Just stop looking at me" he said as he noticed me staring his way for a little bit longer than intended
"Oh, yeah right" I said as I quickly turned my attention to the outside world through the window.
We didn't say anything else for the whole rest of the way there before we pulled up to my house. I didn't see my dad's car in the driveway which came to a big relief as I didn't want to anger him for coming home early. I was about to get out of the car before Gerard held me back
"Wait" he said as he grasped my wrist, making me jolt up in pain
"Whoa are you okay ?" He asked with a genuinely concerned tone to his voice
"Y-yeah" I shuddered as I held my wrist closer to my body
Gerard wasn't buying it as me pulled my arm towards him again, with a more gentle hold than time, as he examined the damage. He pulled up my sleeve, following the trail of green and purple bruises.
"Who did this to you ?" He asked sternly as he lifted his head up to look at me
"N-N nobody" I answered as I felt the hotness rise to my face again. I didn't want anybody to know about my dad, I didn't want him to hate me more than he already does
"Home problems ?" Gerard asked as if he had read my mind. He didn't need an answer as the look on my face said it all.
He let go of my arm, letting it fall back as his hands made its way to his back pocket, grabbing a cigarette
"You should tell someone about that" he said plainly as his voice returned to its normal careless tone.
I stared at him again, now beating daggers into him as I saw him lighting up his cancer stick.
"Why would I listen to you ?" I said defensively "You sent your friends to beat me up too. So don't act like you care so much when I know you don't even give a shit !" I spat as he gave me a look of confusion
"Whoa whoa, I what ?" He asked as he suddenly ripped his attention away from the stick hanging from his mouth
"Your two friend beat me up this morning. " I stated coldly
"Look, I- I don't know what you're talking about " he stated as he stumbled over his words. He seemed genuinely confused
"You know what, whatever. " I said as I climbed out of his car slamming the door in frustration as I stomped my way to my doorstep. I heard Gerard's car speed away as I was fumbling with the key hole. Once I got inside I ran to my room, not even bothering looking around as all my thoughts where blurred with anger and once again that black haired asshole was the only thing I could think about as I slammed my door shut, locking it in the process.
As I woke up, I could already feel the effects from the night before. My arms felt sore as I stretched my body and I felt a searing pain in the pit of my stomach as I hunched over to get up. I hadn't seen the physical damage but I knew, by the internal pain that I felt, that it wasn't looking good for me. I made my way to the bathroom, and as I stepped in front of the mirror I could see the light green and yellow bruising scattered throughout my neck and arms as they peeked though my shirt. As I uncovered my hidden stomach I can see it was worse than my arms as it already turned a dark purple color which contrasted drastically next to my pale colored skin. I left the bathroom, unable to keep looking at my ugly, beat up complexion. I decided to cover up as much as I could by keeping my hoodie on, but in case people did notice I already had a story made up.
Once I was done getting ready I jolted my way down the steps in the hopes that I wouldn't bump into my dad. To my surprise, I didn't see him sitting in the same spot as before and I didn't wait to figure out where he was before I quickly went out the door and went on my way to school.
I didn't inspect my surroundings this time. Instead, I speed walked my way there, considering yesterday I was almost late and I honestly didn't feel like running my way to class.
As I entered the building I saw that I still had about 15 minutes until the bell rung so I decided to go to my locker. As I was ready to close my locker to go to class, I felt someone grab me by my book bag and pulled me away as another pushed my locker closed. As I turned to see who was holding me back, I saw it was the same guys who were in Gerard's table at lunch yesterday.
They were both taller than me, the one holding me back being the tallest. I noticed he had a big fluffy Afro, he wasn't skinny but he wasn't considered fat either. The guy who was now leaning against my locker, which he previously closed, had straight, blonde hair and he was heavier set. I was confused as to what they were doing until the short one finally spoke
"Are those marks on your neck ? What ? You like being choked ?" He asked as they both started laughing. I was held tightly in place by the Afro guy and I felt as he was grasping hard on the area where the bruising on my arms were. As they noticed I wasn't responding the same guy grabbed my face with his firm hand.
"C'mon I'm talking to you, answer my question" he said with a more stern voice this time. To be honest, I couldn't take these guys serious. I was already hurting and the only thing I wanted to do was get my ass to class.
"No" I said confidently as I held my ground, only to be punched in the face when I didn't comply.
They started beating me up, kicking my body where the bruising was already present which made it that much worse. As I was on the floor, I couldn't help to think that Gerard was behind all this. He might of sent these two to beat me up as revenge for me looking in his room yesterday. All kicking seemed to stop once I heard the frantic yelling of Mikey as he ran his way to the scene. The boys who were previously kicking me senseless ran away before they got caught. Mikey knelt down beside me and made sure I was still awake before he carried me away to the nurse's office before the bell rang signaling the beginning of class.
Mikey had to leave once he bought me to the nurse. The room was small, with white colored walls and the smell of medicine, that hit me as soon as I came in, made me sick to my stomach. The nurse was currently filling out some paperwork on the incident as I sat on the patient bed waiting to be bandaged up. I didn't even care that I was late for first period as the only thought in my mind was how I was going to confront Gerard Way.
--------------------------------------
I was walking to lunch with Phil as I was plotting a plan of how to go up to Gerard. As we stepped in the lunchroom, however, I didn't see him sitting in his spot where his friends were. I decided that the only way I would do this is if I did it now before I second guessed myself. I caught phil's attention as I spoke
"Hey um, I can't stay, I have to go finish some work for math class" I lied as I gave him an apologetic look.
"Oh, that's fine" Phil said before I ran out of the room in search of the black haired boy.
I was searching through the hallways, looking to see if I could find some sort of hint of Gerard's whereabouts. I looked on every hallway, every bathroom, even the back of the school where I was sure he would be smoking his life away but to no prevail, I gave up. I was walking my way to art, which would be my next class. I thought that I'd go early since there was no reason to go back to lunch. As I looked though the door window ,however, I found who I was looking for. Gerard was sitting on one of the back row seats seeming fairly interested on the artwork in front of him. As I looked over to Ms.Lynn's desk, I saw that she wasn't in the room and I knew this would be my time to say what I wanted to say.
I walked in the classroom slowly and as I strolled my way up to Gerard ready to ask about this morning. I suddenly stopped in my tracks as I looked down at what he was looking at, realizing it was the portrait of my mother, making me forget everything I was going to say as I balled my fists up in anger. Gerard suddenly noticed my presence but didn't get a chance to explain before I started shouting
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY PORTRAIT ?" I yelled as I threw myself at him trying to take it away from him
"Hey,hey chill" Gerard said as he held his hands up defensively trying to calm me down
But I didn't calm down as I started swinging at him, hitting him on the chest repeatedly trying to get him to give back my drawing
"NO LET GO, GIVE IT BACK !!" I screamed louder as my punches got more aggressive.
"HEY" Gerard boomed getting a hold of both my wrists, making my screaming lower down to a whimper as I started to cry in frustration. Once he saw me calming down he let go of me.
"Calm down, it's just a drawing.." He started up again as he held it up to my face
"You ruined it already with you horrible painting skills anyway " he finished, watching him ripping the paper as my mother's face instantly disappeared into tiny pieces as he threw what was left of her to the floor.
And then I punched him.
I punched him as hard as I could as I felt everything I balled up inside of me from my mother's death leave out of my body in that one single hit to the jaw. I felt my hand start to bleed with the contact of Gerard's jawbone as Gerard fell back at the force almost making him trip.
I couldn't see anything through my tear filled eyes as I felt myself fall to the floor where the pieces of paper laid. I couldn't hear anything except for the loud shriek of Ms.Lynn's voice screaming at our direction
"BOYS! BOYS!! STOP OH MY GOD" Ms. Lynn didn't know what to do or what to say as she walked through the door. I think she called some school staff because a few minutes later I felt my body being lifted and carried out of the room as I blacked out completely.
--------------------------------------------
Gerard and I were in detention.
After the incident, Gerard and I were sent to the nurse's office. She looked at me with a questioning look as she had already seen me in the morning, but she didn't say anything as she started to disinfect and bandage my bloody fist.
Gerard was in another room which I felt grateful for because if I would see him again I swear I wouldn't think twice on killing him.
But now that we were out of the nurse's office we were transferred to a detention room where we would have to stay in for the rest of the day.
I was currently sitting on one end of the room in the front as Gerard was sitting in the other side of the room in the back corner. Of course there was a teacher supervising us to make sure we wouldn't try killing each other again but he wasn't doing a good job as he was dozing off on his desk.
A good hour passed by before the teacher had to leave to the bathroom.
"Try not to get in any more trouble" he said as he left the room, but not before locking the door.
We didn't say anything until I heard footsteps from behind me. As I turned around, I could see Gerard was walking to the front of the classroom but he passed by me as he went to the door. He started picking at the lock.
I stayed quiet as I observed him playing with the door knob. After about 2 minutes he whispered a silent "yess" as a small "click" sounded throughout the room and in a matter of seconds he swung the door open. I was sure he was gone before he poked his head through the door
"Are you coming ?" He asked as he looked over at me.
"W-W- what?" I asked surprised as I looked up at him
"Are you coming or not ?" He repeated his last question and I sat still not knowing what to say or do. Gerard finally grew impatient
"Look Frank, if you don't move I'm leaving you in this room and then you'll die or boredom" he threaten as he stood up right, putting his hands over his chest waiting for my response.
I pondered for a second as the thought of being in this room for any longer made me jump up and follow him without a second thought.
-------------------------------------------
Gerard guided me down the hallway, making me duck or keep quiet when we heard a voice or footsteps of teachers. We ended up escaping through a back door before walking down to the parking lot. Gerard was going home, so I decided to let him take me home, too.
As we speeded away in the direction of my house I finally took a good look at Gerard. I could see the mark I left on his jaw as it was already bruising. It brought satisfaction to know that I got in a punch before we were dragged out but I also felt bed because the nice side of me never acted that way towards anybody
"Hey, Gerard ?" I asked in a quiet voice
"Hm ?" He said as his eyes never left the road but I knew he would be listening to me
I played with my fingers as I thought of the right words to say
"Sorry about punching you earlier.." I said with resentment written all over my face.
Gerard just gripped the steering wheel tighter at the mention of it
"It's fine. Just stop looking at me" he said as he noticed me staring his way for a little bit longer than intended
"Oh, yeah right" I said as I quickly turned my attention to the outside world through the window.
We didn't say anything else for the whole rest of the way there before we pulled up to my house. I didn't see my dad's car in the driveway which came to a big relief as I didn't want to anger him for coming home early. I was about to get out of the car before Gerard held me back
"Wait" he said as he grasped my wrist, making me jolt up in pain
"Whoa are you okay ?" He asked with a genuinely concerned tone to his voice
"Y-yeah" I shuddered as I held my wrist closer to my body
Gerard wasn't buying it as me pulled my arm towards him again, with a more gentle hold than time, as he examined the damage. He pulled up my sleeve, following the trail of green and purple bruises.
"Who did this to you ?" He asked sternly as he lifted his head up to look at me
"N-N nobody" I answered as I felt the hotness rise to my face again. I didn't want anybody to know about my dad, I didn't want him to hate me more than he already does
"Home problems ?" Gerard asked as if he had read my mind. He didn't need an answer as the look on my face said it all.
He let go of my arm, letting it fall back as his hands made its way to his back pocket, grabbing a cigarette
"You should tell someone about that" he said plainly as his voice returned to its normal careless tone.
I stared at him again, now beating daggers into him as I saw him lighting up his cancer stick.
"Why would I listen to you ?" I said defensively "You sent your friends to beat me up too. So don't act like you care so much when I know you don't even give a shit !" I spat as he gave me a look of confusion
"Whoa whoa, I what ?" He asked as he suddenly ripped his attention away from the stick hanging from his mouth
"Your two friend beat me up this morning. " I stated coldly
"Look, I- I don't know what you're talking about " he stated as he stumbled over his words. He seemed genuinely confused
"You know what, whatever. " I said as I climbed out of his car slamming the door in frustration as I stomped my way to my doorstep. I heard Gerard's car speed away as I was fumbling with the key hole. Once I got inside I ran to my room, not even bothering looking around as all my thoughts where blurred with anger and once again that black haired asshole was the only thing I could think about as I slammed my door shut, locking it in the process.