Suicidal Boy

"Please stop it!" I yell. He's come closer and closer. "Stop!" I'm crying now and I'm shaking so much. He takes off his pants. "NOOOO!!" I wake up in my bed sweating and shaking. The blanket is all tangled up. I get up from my bed and I walk to the kitchen. I take a drink of water. I keep having flashbacks. When I was only about 9 that happened. My mum's boyfriend touched me in this way that was really uncomfortable. It kept happening and one day I tried to hurt myself. That was the first time I tried to cut. He left when I was almost 12. I was so glad when he left. I told my mum what he did to me but she just said that I was lying, that he loved me like a son.
Sometimes I just want to end it all. End everything. My life is so shitty and i'm so fucked up maybe if I killed myself everyone would be happy.
Something happened yesterday. I tried to.. kill myself. I almost did. But my mum grabbed me and she called this mental hospital thing. Now i'm here in this hospital.
"Time for group!" "Okay!" I walk to the room that he is in. There's kids and teenagers. One is 19. "Hello everyone. Introduce yourself." Theres a girl that keeps moving her eyes around everywhere. "I'm Jacey. I like lollipops." "Next?" "I'm Cas. I'm 14 and I like swimming and i'm here because im crazy." You know what's weird about this place? They try to make it look all happy. Put bright happy colours on the walls and everything. It's fucking ridiculous. More people talk and now it's my turn. "Hi. I'm Dean." I don't want to talk.