Gaia

Eli was dreaming. He knew it was a dream because his mother was there, humming one of the old lullabies she always sang for him and Gracie when they were sick or didn't want to go to bed.

"You have to wake up now, Eli," she said gently.

"I don't want to."

"Stubborn boy." She gently brushed his hair off his forehead. "You can't stay here forever, baby. You have to wake up and take care of your sister."

"I know. But I'm so tired. I want to stay here with you."

"You'll be okay, Eli. You're not ready to come here yet. I'll be waiting for you when you do. But not now, Eli. You still have a life to live and you need to wake up now."

"Okay. I'll try. And, Mom? I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Eli. We all love you."

"I love you too."

She planted a kiss on his forehead and smiled. "Now go, silly child."

Eli opened his eyes and saw only whiteness. For a moment he thought maybe he really had died but then he blinked a few times and realized he was in a hospital room. And everything hurt. He grimaced as everything came rushing back. He was pretty sure Jensen was dead. Desoto he didn't know about. And Gracie-

Eli struggled to sit up, wincing at the pain in his sides. And shoulder. And hands. Jesus he felt like shit. He had a dim recollection of Gracie showing up before he passed out. And he thought Mari had been there too, but that didn't make any sense. He finally managed to sit up and then froze, seeing Mari asleep in the chair beside his bed. That didn't make sense either. He tried to say her name but his voice was hoarse. He cleared his throat and tried again. She sat up and looked at him with wide eyes.

"You're awake," she said quietly. He nodded to the strip of fabric that had her arm bound to the chair.

"What's that for?" he asked. "Did you have to fight all my other girlfriends for the chair?"

She flinched, undoing the knot and freeing her wrist. "Eli...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have just accused you like that."

"Well obviously Renee is a better expert on my own feelings than I am," he said mildly.

"I said I was sorry," Mari said irritably, though he saw a flash of hurt in her eyes. He didn't know what to do, or what to say. He wanted things to go back to the way they were before; he wanted her. But he was wary of letting that wall come down again. Maybe she was just here because she felt obligated. He sighed.

"Look, you were right," he said. "About no one replacing Jess. I don't want anyone to replace her. No one else can be Jess. She's gone. And the few girls I've been with in the last eight years were all one night stands. I went to their place, and I never stayed the night. Until you. With you it's all been different. With you I thought..." He trailed off and Mari got impatient.

"You thought what?"

Eli just shook his head. "It doesn't matter what I thought. I was wrong. I'm stupid. Go home and get some rest."

"No." She stood and inched closer to the bed. "Eli, don't just shut me out like this again."

"You were the one who left," he muttered.

"You told me to!" she protested.

"You were standing there accusing me of not caring about you!" Eli scowled at her. "I was so nervous about opening up to you at all, and then I did and it felt great, and you were the only person in eight years who made me think that maybe, just maybe, I could be human again. The only person who made me think I could fall in love again after all, and you just threw it all back in my face because Renee told you you were a booty call, and then-"

"Did you say fall in love?" Mari interrupted. "Eli. Are you saying that you-"

"I'm saying that clearly I misread the situation," he growled, ears turning red. "Obviously I overestimated your feelings because I'm a complete fucking idiot."

"Eli."

"I should have known better than to bring you up here in the first place. I don't know what I was thinking. My need to keep you from being handed over to Enforcers landed us in this whole mess. And now what, I screwed up your life exactly like I screw up everything else and I should have let you keep stealing your damn lipsticks and cheap noodles-"

"Eli."

"-but I just couldn't let it be and now I have to do the right thing for once and let you go and why are you even still here-"

"Eli!" Mari shouted. She had moved closer while he was babbling and now stood right beside him.

"What?" he grumbled, turning his face away from her. "I know you want to leave, Marilyn, so just go."

"Would you shut up for like five seconds and let me talk? And I thought I was the one with the overactive mouth." She sat beside him but he stubbornly refused to look at her.

"Eli. I really am sorry. I shouldn't have just assumed the worst. I feel horrible for how I acted, I was just scared that Renee was telling the truth. I know I talk a lot and I ask a lot of questions. I just thought that maybe she was right and you were getting tired of me."

Eli didn't answer, still pretending to be fascinated by the socket on the wall. Mari huffed and reached out to turn his face, forcing him to look at her.

"If I was tired of you, then why would I stop locking my door?" he blurted. He expected her to give him some snarky retort.

"I'm sorry I hurt you," Mari said gently. "I didn't mean to. I care about you, Eli. More than I really wanted to admit to myself before. And I didn't think that you could really feel that way about me, because..."

"You're not Jess," he finished and she lowered her gaze. "Mari, I told you. No one else can be Jess. But I didn't want you to be Jess. The other girls...I never had anything real with them because I kept looking for her in them and of course she wasn't there. And I admit that maybe that wasn't fair to them, but I didn't look for her in you. I just see you, and I'm all right with that." He stared at the blanket covering his legs. He couldn't bring himself to look her in the eye. He was still sure she was going to walk out that door and he'd never see her again.

"I'm not going anywhere unless you tell me to," she said, seeming to sense what he was thinking. "If you really want me to go, then I'll go. But I won't go very far, because in all honesty you shouldn't be alone right now, being shot and having broken ribs and all. I mean let's face it, Eli, I was only gone for half a day and you wound up in the hospital. Clearly you need me around, so it's not going to be that easy to get rid of me. You should know by now that I'm-"

"Marilyn. It's your turn to stop talking for five seconds." He grabbed her shoulders before she could say anything else, pulling her forward and kissing her. She started to lean into him but then pulled back quickly.

"Eli, you're severely injured and hooked up to wires," she said worriedly. "You shouldn't be-"

"Don't tell me what to do," he muttered, pulling her back more forcefully and holding her tightly. He practically crushed his lips against hers and he could feel her trying not to laugh even as she tried to adjust herself into a position that wouldn't hurt him. He kept his arms almost possessively around her, afraid if he let her go she would simply vanish.

"Well I guess you're okay, then."

It took Eli and Mari several seconds to untangle from one another and find an amused Gracie in the doorway. She came across the room and swatted Eli's uninjured arm.

"That's the second time you had me worried you were dead," she scolded. "Next time I might suffer actual heart failure so don't do it again."

"Yes, ma'am."

"It might interest you to know that Desoto is being stripped of his Lord status and sent to Grelhurst," she added. "Apparently it was decided he was up to no good even by Lord standards, and no one can figure out why he would attack you. So he's gone. They're scrambling around trying to find a Lord to replace him, though for now it looks like your own Lord Townsend will be in charge of Tower O in the interim. It's over, Eli. We don't need to worry about him ever again."

"I still would have liked to kill him," Eli replied and Gracie rolled her eyes.

"It seems to me you have things to take your mind off of it," she teased, tilting her head toward Mari, who blushed. Eli frowned suddenly.

"Hey, how did you guys get to my office anyway? Where's Jeremiah?"

Mari and Gracie exchanged a look.

"It's kind of a long story..." Mari said.