Dreams of Tomorrow

Everyone was gathered in Matt’s living room while he tried to take everyone’s order for pizzas. Val and Michelle had showed up half an hour after the other first stepped in Matt’s house.
Lya had been sitting in a corner, looking out of it, with flash of anger showing on her face and her fists clenching on her lap.

Michelle had panicked when she got sight of her split lip and dry blood on her T-shirt but Jimmy had convinced her to drop it, relating the previous events and Athalya’s mother.

So everyone was minding their own business, leaving Athalya to herself. She was thankful for that moment of peace, trying to calm herself down and put some order into her mind. So far no good.
She would have those bursts of anger and wanting to throw something out of the window or at the wall every time Billie Joe crossed her mind. It was a good thing she wasn’t at her grandparents at the moment or she would have shoved everything Green Day related out of the window and would have probably set fire to the lot.

Sighing, she rubbed her forehead, her eyes closed and let her head rest on the wall behind her, slightly tilting to the side. She let out a surprised gasp when it didn’t fall but was stopped by something soft.

“That’s just me.” Whispered Brian, bringing his knees up to his chest, trying to glance at Athalya’s face.

She sat up straight, mimicking his position, their shoulders touching.

“You seem upset…” he said, looking ahead at his friends circling around Matt as he grabbed the phone.

“That obvious?”

He chuckled, looking at her surprised face.
“You could have burn a hole on the carpet with the look you had on your face a moment ago.”

“I already spilled my word-vomit on you going to that hotdog place, if I say anymore you’re going to think I’m not right in the head.”

“I’m still sitting there, aren’t I?” he kept looking at Matt, trying to keep a nonchalant expression, while Matt was trying to push Jimmy away from the phone.

“I’m furious.”

“I guessed as much.”

“No I mean, I feel like my inside are boiling up. I want to smash things. I’m so fucking mad at that guy, like… He’s got money, really… I can’t help but think that maybe, if he had cared about my mother, he would have known about her sickness and he would have been able to…”

“Pay for a better treatment?”

“No, not really. It doesn’t work like that in France, but I mean, it would have helped you know. She had to stop working for a long while, my step father couldn’t actually keep up with everything, and he had to go away a lot in order to earn more money and yeah…” she trailed off. “Is it bad of me to think like that? Like, I don’t care what he does now, it won’t make a difference. But maybe, a couple of months ago, he could have… He probably didn’t care about her as much as he pretends.” Her voice was harsh, her brows furrowed. “I told him that.”

Brian stayed silent for a moment, looking at the fabric of his jeans stretching on his knees.
“I don’t think it’s bad, I guess it makes sense. It might be the way you told him though.”

“I shouted at him before storming off.”

Brian suppressed a smile, letting his head tilt backwards against the wall.

“But… I feel weird like, Green Day is such a huge part of my childhood. I grew up with their music, literally and getting the chance to see them, for real… It’s mind blowing. But…”

“But you still want to hate him.”

“Yeah…”

He shook his head, smiling.

“I want to shove the tickets back in his face, even if it means waiting longer to see Green Day…”

“You would regret it. I’ve been to a couple of shows with my dad. It’s a bit unusual for bands to tour when they’re supposed to be recording the new album… And it’s early entrance tickets, those aren’t common. My guess is the dude knows he fucked-up and wants to make it up to you somehow. He knows how much you like Green Day, from my point of view, he’s trying really hard.”

“Maybe… I’m just, really, really confused right now.” she muttered, pinching the bridge of her nose.
“It’s a lot to take in.”

She wrapped her arms around her knees, bringing them closer to her chest and rested her face on top of her knees, her attention on Brian.

“You think I’m a cry baby?”

“No.” he answered, without thinking. He didn’t need to. She nodded shortly and then frowned, slightly rocking herself from side to side, brushing his shoulder in the process. She inhaled sharply and looked at him, meeting his eyes.

“Do you pity me?”

Brian pondered for a moment and looked away from her face again.

“No, I don’t think I do. I mean, it sucks, really. I mean, your mom. I’m really sorry about that… But no. I… I don’t feel pity.”

He kinda did though, he felt sorry for her.
“Actually, I think you’re doing fine… giving the circumstances.” He had to force himself to look at her in the eyes and there it was again. That look. He felt the heat rose to his cheeks.

“Whatcha doin’?”

Brian reluctantly looked away from her and saw Jimmy’s face inches away from his, crouching to be at their level.

“Talking.” Replied Athalya, unphased by Jimmy’s interruption.

“Pizzas should be here shortly.” He said, standing up again and holding out his hand for Athalya.

She grabbed it and pulled herself up before holding out her hand to Brian. He took it and was surprised by the coldness of her hand. Once he was up, she gave him a smile, one of those fake ones and walked off as Michelle was waving at her excitedly.

She sat on the armrest by Michelle’s side and pretend to be excited about whatever she was talking about. Her thoughts on her grandparents and Billie Joe.

“Thanks again for the Green Day ticket!”

Athalya forced herself to smile. She winced and she tasted blood.

“Oh crap, come on…” whispered Michelle, grabbing Athalya’s wrist and dragging her to the bathroom.

She let Athalya sat on the edge of the bath while she grabbed the first aid kit from a shelf and opened it on the cabinet. She washed her hands and dried them while Athalya took a look at the bathroom.

It was clean, with products lining up on the shelves. She could discern the ones belonging to Matt’s father and the one belonging to his mother’s. She swallowed the lump in her throat as she caught glimpse of a familiar bottle of perfume. Her mother had the same…

“It doesn’t look too deep” Michelle whispered, damping a cotton with some solution. “I’m sorry, it’s going to hurt a little maybe.”

Michelle held Athalya’s face with one hand while disinfecting the several scratches on her face. She closed her eyes, letting Michelle do what she wanted, trying not to wince at the slightly burning sensations.

She threw away the cotton and grabbed another one, while asking her to pull up her sleeves.
Athalya held her breath as Michelle cleaned the cuts and scratches on her hands.

“Sorry…” whispered Michelle, feeling Athalya’s hand tensing in hers.

“S’allright, not your fault. It’s mine.” She whispered, opening her eyes and looking at Michelle’s face. She was really pretty.

Michelle’s brown orbs met Athalya’s.

They stayed silent, Michelle wanted to tell Athalya how sorry she was about her mother, but just couldn’t bring herself to bring the subject up.

Athalya looked down at her hand, “Thanks Chelle.” She whispered, retracting her hand as Michelle grabbed the right one and decided to wrap something around her palm.

“That one doesn’t look too good.” She mumbled, tying it up and then cleaning up and washing her hand.

“Thanks Chelle, I feel better already.”

“You’re welcome” she said, smiling slightly before leaving Athalya to herself.

She got out of the bathroom a couple of seconds later, looking at her bandaged hand when she almost ran into Justin, on her way back to the living room.

“Pizzas are here.” He said, taking a step back.

“Oh ok.” She mumbled, her eyes on his face. “You should get cleaned up” she added, and took a step back, pointing at the bathroom. “It’ll only be a minute.”

Justin followed her and took her previous place while she washed her free hand and took the first aid kit like Michelle did only a couple of minutes ago.

“It might hurt a bit.” She said, as her bandaged hand reached out to tilt Justin’s face back. He held his breath as she gently tapped the cotton on his scratches.

He almost expected her to press on it, trying to hurt him. But she didn’t, her expression was severe as she tilted his head to the side to clean the scratches on his cheekbone.

“You can breathe you know.” She whispered gently and Justin let out the breath he had been holding, his eyes on her face. She had green eyes? He never paid attention before.
He felt a wave a guilt crashing on him as she took a step back and threw the cotton, taking out another one and continuing her process.

Just a while ago they had been rolling around in the grass, fighting and screaming and here they were, in Matt’s bathroom. She was cleaning his wounds. He felt the fabric of her bandage against his skin and felt even worse.

“Athalya, the pizzas are getting co- oh!”
She turned around and saw Brian, looking between Justin and herself.

“I’ll be right there.” She said, focusing back on Justin’s face. “Ok, done.” She said, trying to smile. He noticed her split lip and dropped his eyes, feeling Brian’s glare on him as he stood up “Thanks” and he walked out.

Athalya washed her hand and cleaned up the counter while Brian stayed there, looking at her.

“You ok?” he asked, seeing the bandage on her hand.

“Huhuh.” She whispered, nodding to herself.

“Why did you help him?” he asked, frowning, as she switched off the light and walked past him, towards the living room.

“I was the one to jump on him.” She said, briefly looking at him before walking inside the living room.

Everyone was already eating, sitting in various available spots in the living room. She grabbed a slice, a napkin and sat down next to Michelle.

Athalya took a bit of her slice of pizza and yelped, bringing her hand to her mouth.

“You’re gonna have to be careful about that for a while. Your lips are chapped, it’s not helping.” Whispered Michelle, handing her a tissue.

“Thanks” she mumbled, looking at the pizza and taking a deep breath before bringing it towards her mouth. She winced but kept eating.

There had been a beginning of a heated argument about what movies to watch but it was soon ended by Val.

“You know you can watch both movies, right? It’s barely seven pm yet.”

She rolled her eyes at their amazed faces and Athalya chuckled, sharing a knowing look with Michelle.

“Do you want another slice of pizza?” asked Michelle, about to reach out for one of the box. “Which one did you order?”

“I didn’t order anything.” She whispered, raising an eyebrow in confusion.

Michelle sat back and starred at Matt and Jimmy, “You didn’t ask her what she wanted?”

“I…” started Matt.

“Forgot, yeah I can see that.” Mumbled Michelle.

“It’s ok, I’m not that hungry. It hurts anyway.” She said, moving backward to rest her back on the side of the armchair.

“Are you alright on the floor?” asked Johnny, worried, about to get up so she could take his place.

“Guys, I’m fine. Stop worrying.” She said, trying to laugh it off. She didn’t like all the attention and was pretty sure it was because of the incident with Justin and Jimmy’s revelation. “I like sitting on the floor actually. Different perspective.”

Matt put the movie on and Athalya flinched at the movie’s title. The Exorcist.

She moved further away from the coffee table, trying to find a good view of the screen and found herself sitting at Jimmy’s feet. He quickly pulled them up, sitting cross-legged on the couch and Athalya used him as a headrest.

The first movie went by fast, she tried not to focus on it too much and got caught up in her own thoughts. Unpleasant again. She could hear people gasp and laugh through the movies but somehow, it seemed far away from her. Suddenly, she was in her old room, blank pages covered in her messy handwriting, lyrics of her favorite songs, covering her walls. She was sitting on the carpeted floor, leaning forward as she scribbled more lyrics, Vivaldi music playing in the background as she could also hear the wind and rain outside.

She took a good look at the lyrics, smiled to herself and hunched forward again, scribbling away when she heard a thumping sound coming from downstairs.

“Maman?”

She dropped her pen and quickly got on her feet, hurrying down the stairs before swinging the kitchen door opened.

“MAMAN!” she screamed, seeing her mother’s motionless body on the floor. She dropped on her knees and quickly put her hand near her mother’s mouth and nose. She wasn’t breathing.

Panic overwhelmed her as she hurried to the phone, before she could reach it, it was a different room. When she turned around, her mother was being pushed along a corridor, in a hospital gown.

“Stop!” she cried, running after the person and trying to stop them from taking her mother away.
The person stopped and looked at her, taking off the medical mask. It was Billie Joe’s face.

She could hear her own screaming as she jolted awake.

Breathing heavily, she starred at her surroundings. Where was she?

“I told you she fell asleep, she wasn’t screaming because of the movie.”

It sounded like Jimmy and saw Michelle by her side, looking worriedly at her. She was laying down. A lot of faces were looking at her worriedly. She tried to recall the previous events. It clicked, she was in Matt’s living room.

“Sorry.” She quickly mumbled, trying to sit down, her cheeks flushing in embarrassment. Michelle helped her sitting up and handed her a glass of water. She gulped it down in no time. “Thanks.”

“Come on, let’s get some fresh air before the second movie.” Said Jimmy, pulling her back to her feet while Brian just starred at them.

She could hear some whispers and dropped her head as Jimmy pushed her to the front door, grabbing his jacket on his way.

They sat on the front porch.

“Listen, you don’t have to feel ashamed, ok? It happens to everyone.” He said, putting his jacket on her shoulder while she looked at him, tears in her eyes.

“I can’t sleep here tonight… What if I wake up screaming again? It’ll bother everyone…”

“You’re worried about waking people up with your nightmares?” he asked slowly.

She nodded, embarrassed.

“I’m sure no one would mind, I mean… It’s not like we’re going to get a good night of sleep anyway.” Shrugged Jimmy. “We usually pass out on the couch or something. It’s just a sleep-over with friends.”

“But I… You know I scream when I’m asleep, you witnessed it, twice…” she muttered.

“I’ll sleep beside you and wake you up before you wake up anyone else.” He offered, trying to shrug it off.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, no worries.”

They stayed silent, gazing at the quiet street before she looked at him again.
“What’s a sleep-over exactly?”

“What do you mean? You never slept at your friends’ house before?”

“No…” she trailed off, her shoulders dropping.

Jimmy tried not to make fun of her as he explained the principles, how they did it quite often, just so they could watch movies late and sometimes drink. Matt’s parents had left with his sister, Amy, so Matt offered to crash there.

After a short while, Jimmy lead the way back inside and they continued with the second horror movie. This time, she sat near Johnny, who was alone on one of the armchair.

Once more, she paid no attention to the movie and got driven out of her thoughts by Matt turning back on the light.

“Anyone ready for another film?” he asked while Jimmy reached out for a slice of pizza and fell face first on the carpet. She brought her hand to her mouth, trying to stifle her laughter. He rose an eyebrow at her and munched on the slice.

“I’ll get going.” Said Johnny.

“Yeah me too” mumbled Justin, “I promised my dad I’d help him tomorrow morning.”

“I’ll walk you back Johnny.” Said Athalya, checking her watch. It was a little over 11.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Justin can drop him off. Right Justin?” asked Jimmy, munching happily on the cold pizza. Justin made a face but nodded.

“I parked my car at Zack’s.” he mumbled.

“Bye Lya!” said Johnny, reaching out to hug Athalya.

“Lya?” she asked, hugging him awkwardly. Surprised by the nickname and the sudden hug.

“Yeah… I heard Brian shouting that earlier in the park. Thought it sounded nice and it’s shorter.” He said, picking up his jacket and putting it on and Athalya looked at Brian and then Johnny.

“Lya…” she repeated slowly. That’s how her mother called her but her grandparents had refrain from using that nickname ever since Shania’s passing. “My mother used to call me Lya.” She hadn’t realized she had said it out loud until she heard a small gasp and looked up, seeing everyone’s eyes on her. “No it’s ok, really.” She quickly added, catching a glimpse of Brian’s face. “No worries.”

Goodbyes were said and Justin, Zack and Johnny left the house, leaving only Matt, Val, Michelle, Brian, Jimmy and Lya.

A third film was being discussed while Athalya was putting away the pizzas boxes and empty plates.

“I’ll do it tomorrow.” Said Matt but she shot him a smile and went to the kitchen, not really listening to him. She knew he would be too tired to do it and she wanted to be useful.

“I’m so sorry.”

She blinked at looked over her shoulder to see that Brian had followed her. “About calling you Lya, I didn’t know, it kind of slipped when Justin was trying to hit you… I had no idea Johnny heard me.”
“It’s fine, really.” She tried to reassure him, shrugging her shoulders.

He gave a short nod and proceed to make popcorns while she busied herself cleaning the mess some of them had made in the kitchen. When she was satisfied, she went back to the living room, seeing that they had pushed some furniture to make space for mattresses and covers.

“Where will you be sleeping?” she asked, looking at the four pillows.

“Val and Matt are sleeping in Matt’s room. He offered us to sleep in Amy’s room.” Explained Michelle, motioning between Lya and herself. “But Jimmy said something about the living room so yeah. Apparently you’re sleeping next to Jimmy, you can use Val’s duffel bag. I’m sleeping on the couch, Brian’s sleeping over there.” She said, motioning to a bundle of covers. Athalya nodded and Michelle frowned slightly, leaning closer to Lya. “Are you ok with sleeping next to Jimmy?”

“What? Yeah, of course. It’s fine.”

“All right, just making sure, you know.” Whispered Michelle, looking at Matt and Val sharing an intimate moment on the other couch.

“Thanks Chelle.”

“We’re sleeping at Brian’s after the show on Sunday, will it be ok for you?”

“Yeah, ok.”

“I’m sorry, I must seem too praying or something… I just…”

“It’s fine, thanks for the concern. I appreciate it.” Whispered Lya, looking at Michelle’s gentle face. Michelle smiled at her and got comfortable on the couch.

Brian came back from the kitchen with the popcorns in two bowls and gave one to Matt and Val, before sitting next to Michelle and Jimmy tried to wiggle his way on the couch, sitting next to Lya.

“It’s not made for four people!” muttered Brian and Lya immediately let herself fall on the carpet.

“I didn’t mean it for you!”

“I’m fine on the floor” she grabbed a handful of popcorns and this time focused on the movie. The Nightmare before Christmas.

**

When she woke up the next morning, she vaguely remembered some unpleasant dreams but couldn’t recall waking up screaming. She tried to get up and realized that her left hand was firmly clasped in Jimmy’s. She felt the heat rose to her cheeks and quickly took her hand out of his grasp, getting up and headed to the bathroom to freshen up.

She checked the time on her small watch and noticed it was close to 10am.

After rolling the sleeping bag and putting it back in its bag, she stood near the hall, taking a glance at the living room.

Nope, no one was going to wake up anytime soon. She pondered for a moment, when she felt something on her ankle and prevented herself from screaming as she saw Brian’s hand.

“What are you doing up?” he asked, looking up at her with one eye opened.

She shrugged. “I woke up…”

He let go of her ankle and rubbed his eyes, turning on his side. “What time is it?”

“10 am.”

He groaned and covered his face with the covers. She chuckled.

“I’ll head back now I guess” she whispered.

“I’ll send you back.” He mumbled, taking the covers off his face. His hair sticking everywhere.

She stifled a laugh. “I can find my way back, no worries. Keep on sleeping, I’ll see you Sunday. Say thank you to Matt once he wakes up.” She whispered. “And don’t forget to tell me how much I owe you for the pizzas.”

“You ate one slice.” He said, rolling his eyes. She crouched down, took the covers from his hands and pulled it over his face. He whined.

“Just go back to sleep…” she whispered.

When he pulled the covers down again, she was gone.

**

“… We merely respected your mother’s choice.” Said David, sternly. “She told us she wanted to leave, she did. She told us she didn’t wanted you to know Billie Joe was in Green Day, we respected her choice. God knows how much I love you mother, but she could be stubborn. No matter how many times we called her to tell her that Billie Joe had showed up at our doorstep, begging for news, she refused.”

Athalya sat on the armchair, her teary eyes on her grandfather.

The first thing she had done when she came back was apologizing to her grandparents for her behavior and David had made her sit in the living room while Suzan was making hot chocolate.

“I’m not even sure I want to go see the Green Day show.” She said, sounding defeated.

“Sweetie… You love Green Day, try to separate Billie Joe as a person, from the singer in the band. It’s your dream to go see them, isn’t it? And a show in Los Angeles while they are recording the new album is not something you see often. You get to go with your friends too. I’m sure you’ll have fun.” Said David, reaching out to touch his granddaughter’s knee. “Just go to the show and if afterwards you still feel like you can’t forgive him, for whatever reasons you have, then we can’t force you. You’re not ten, you’re seventeen.” He whispered, straightening his back as Suzan walked into the room with the mug of hot chocolate for Lya.

“I still don’t get it though.” She mumbled, taking the mug in her hands, warming them up.

Suzan glanced worriedly at the scratches and bruise on her granddaughter’s face before her eyes fell on the bandage as she took a sit next to her husband.

David sighed, rubbing his forehead.

“I don’t get it either kid, I don’t. But it is as it is now, isn’t it? At least he came here, tried to get in touch with you.”

“But he wasn’t ther-”

Suzan cut her off. “He didn’t know she was sick. We had lost touch at that time and your mother surely didn’t tell him.”

Lya scrunched up her nose as she let herself lean into the armchair.

“Listen honey, you have the right to be angry and confused. But one way or the other you’re going to have to listen to Billie Joe’s side of the story. Your mother mentioned him in her will, there is a reason.”

At the mention of Billie Joe’s name, followed by ‘your mother’, Lya held her breath. She liked it better when they mentioned him by saying ‘he’, not using his name. It made her heart skip a beat and her palms sweat.

Lya stayed silent, reprocessing everything her grandfather had said since she came back. She had been in for a lecture, about the vocabulary she had used, the tone she had used and how she had stormed off like that. Then he went on, how worried they had been, how it was hard for them too, etc.
She sank further in her seat, bringing the cup to her lips.

David had put on the history channel and Suzan was looking at a crossword puzzle.
She should have known better than to mess with her grandfather... After all, he was a military man, he had been retired for a while, but he still had that authority in him. Kind of like an aura. She didn’t know how to explain it…

Her eyes fell on the frame with his enrollment picture, next to the one of her grandparents wedding. They were both smiling brightly in the picture, clearly in love. They still shared the same smile, even decades later…

Would she ever get married? And be as happy as her grandparents? Her mother never married, not even with Daniel. She shook her head. Get yourself to graduation and you'll see about getting married one day.

"You ok kid?"

"Huh?"

"I saw you shaking your head. Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I think. I'm just, really confused and tired." she mumbled, stifling a yawn and setting the cup on the coffee table.

"You should get some rest."

**

"Yo Lya, wassup?"

Suzan looked at Jimmy with her eyes wide, before looking at her granddaughter again. She felt her heartbeat increasing as she waited for Athalya's reaction. They had been real careful not to call her Lya for the past weeks.

"Yo Jimmy, what's up?"

"It's not what's up, it's wassup. You don't pronounce the T." he said, making himself comfortable into the couch.

"But it's there, it's written what's up." she replied, scrunching her eyebrows in confusion.

"If you want to sound cool, you say wassup."

"I want to sound literate, not cool." she retorted, focusing back on her sheet of paper.
Suzan stifled a laugh as she head to the kitchen, relieved that her granddaughter had such a good friend.

"So, we're going to Brian's house in a while, ok with you?"

"What for?"

"Well, to hang out." he said, in a duh-tone.

"But we hang out yesterday, and I'm going to see you guys tomorrow night."

"And so what?"

"Don't you spend time at home?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. With Jimmy here, it was useless to try to get some homework done.

"What for?"

"Homework?"

Jimmy stifled a laugh. "Homework... Come on Lya, chill out. It's the weekend.”
She rose an eyebrow and looked at him, unamused.

“I need to graduate, it’s my last year of high school. You too, in case you forgot.”

“Fine!” he sighed in exasperation. “We’ll go to Brian’s and then come back here to study, ok?”

She rolled her eyes and focused on the biology homework.

"Let's go Lya"

"But..."

"Come on sweetie, Jimmy said you'll be back in a couple of hours." Said Suzan.

"Mamie, I..."

"You worked since this morning, you need a break. Go on, have fun." She encouraged, kissing her granddaughter’s hair.

"Dude, I wish my parents were as cool as your grandparents." said Jimmy, waiting for Athalya to move off the floor and grab her shoes.

**

Brian, Jimmy and Brent were talking together in the living room with Papa Gates and Lya tried to make herself useful by helping Suzy with the groceries.

"So Athalya, Brian told me you just moved here from France? How do you like it here?"

"Huh, it's ok I guess. The weather is better, definitely."

"Which house do you live in? Brian said you lived in the same street, but I can't recall seeing any house on sale."

Lya handed her the bananas and bit her lip, trying to think of an answer.

"She's in the Relva household." said Jimmy, walking into the kitchen and opening the fridge.
Suzy's face scrambled as realization hit her. The Relva's were the old couple leaving a few houses down, the woman would often help Suzy with gardening tips in the spring. She knew they had lost their child from sickness not long ago, but never figured Lya was the granddaughter Suzan had mentioned before.

Lya looked curiously at Jimmy as he handed her some cans of soda. They both walked out of the kitchen, in silence, as Suzy finished unpacking the groceries.

**

Athalya’s heart was racing. She showed her ticket and then entered the venue. She tried not to run towards the stage, but she walked fast.

Jimmy, Michelle and Brian caught up with her as they reached the barrier. Michelle stood on her left and Brian and Jimmy stayed behind them. They chatted happily as Lya was looking at the stage, her eyes glowing with tears. Michelle noticed it but decided not to say anything and not burst her own bubble.
They knew how much it meant for her to be here, in this venue, so close to the stage.

She was griping the barrier with both hands, her knuckles were losing their colors. She had her eyes glued on the mike, standing in front of her.

The crowd was noisy, they were all chatting loudly, trying to hear themselves amongst the mass, excited to see the band.
Athalya couldn’t even hear them. She was unobvious to the noise.

It was as if the time was moving at the speed of light.

Before she knew it, the lights were out and 5 people came on stage. That was the supporting band.
The crowd was wild, people in the back were trying to get to the front.
Athalya closed her eyes for a second, in pain, as she felt herself being squashed against the barrier.

“Stop pushing!” yelled Jimmy over the music as Brian placed himself between the crowd and Athalya. He put both hands on the barrier, Athalya was safely trapped between his arms while Jimmy did the same with Michelle.

The lights came back on, and the crowd quiet down.

Athalya frowned as she saw two arms around her and turned her head to look at Michelle. She relaxed when she realized the arms belonged to Brian.
The light went out again, the chanting began.
“Green Day, Green Day, Green Day…”

3 shadows ran on stage.

Jason White, Mike Dirnt and Tré Cool started their first song: Nice Guys Finish Last.

The stage was enlightened and Billie Joe came on stage.
Athalya’s eyes were bulging out of her skull.

She let out a quiet gasp as he stood right in front of her, playing on his guitar and singing, his eyes scanning the crowd.

She felt her heart beating faster, the blood pumping through her veins as his eyes fell on her for a brief second.
Time seems to have stopped for her, she held his gaze for a second that felt like an eternity and she almost forgot how to breath.
She hold onto the barrier as the next song started and the crowd went wilder.

Brian had trouble protecting Athalya. Jimmy was arguing with a guy that had insulted his height.

During the next song, Billie Joe was glancing at Athalya every so often.

“Fuck off!” yelled Brian, pushing a guy, as he kept trying to get to the front. He turned around and slammed his fist in the guy’s face, just as Billie Joe glanced worriedly in Athalya’s direction.

The guy pushed Brian, making his body stumble and collide with Athalya. She lost her balance and fell hard on the barrier.

“Wowowowow!” said Billie Joe in the mike, holding his hand in the air. The music stopped.

“You guys break it off!” said Billie Joe, pointing at Brian, Jimmy and the other guy. “No fighting!”

Jimmy helped Brian up and glared at the guy. A security guard grabbed the trouble-maker and escorted him to the exit.

“Is she alright?” asked Billie Joe away from the mike, looking directly at Brian and Jimmy as Brian was helping Athalya back up on her feet. Jimmy nodded and Billie Joe started the show again.

“Are you alright?” asked Brian as he helped her up.

“Yeah… I think so” she mumbled, holding onto the barrier, a little dizzy.
The show went on.

She wouldn’t blink, afraid to miss something. Her heart was hammering in her chest as she starred at the enlightened stage, taking everything in, carving it to her memory. The way they moved, the way they played their instruments, their faces, his face. She kept her eyes on him, starring longer than necessary. Starring at his face, wondering if her mother ever had the chance to stand where she was, maybe at another venue. She screamed the lyrics, her mind not even thinking as she blurted them out, in complete sync. She knew the pauses, the change of rhythm, everything.
She knew the words to every single songs, she sang every single words, her eyes on Billie Joe.

Her ears were buzzing with the loud music, she could feel the bass in her chest.

They played songs after songs, interacting with the crowd. She found herself clapping, cheering, and screaming while the tears ran down her cheeks. She was crying for all kind of reasons… Because she was thankful to finally see Green Day live, because she missed her mother, because this song and that song meant so much to her, because the other one was her mother’s favorite, …

She clamped her hands together, as if she was praying as the first notes of Good Riddance started. She cried harder and blinked rapidly before focusing back on Billie Joe, standing alone on stage, with his guitar.

For the briefest of moment, she could have sworn that he had been looking at her. She held onto that hope and clasped her hands harder, whispering the lyrics, like a prayer.

A prayer that everything would eventually get better.

She felt a warm hand on her shoulder as the song came to an end and saw Michelle, with tears in her eyes, rubbing her shoulder in a small gesture of comfort. As the song ended, Lya took a step to the side and rested her head on Michelle’s shoulder.

The last note hung in the air and everyone started cheering, clapping, and whistling.

For the duration of the show, she hadn’t felt the hole in her chest. Only plenitude and solace. Because of the show, because of the music, because of him.

The lights went back on, the crowd started to exit the venue and she stood at the barrier, watching the now empty stage. Her eyes were dry now as she realized what had just happened.

“Come on Lya, time to go.” Said Brian, lightly rubbing her shoulder.

Jimmy showed up and forcedly took her away from the barrier, leading her to the exit as Brian and Michelle talked about the show in excited voices.

Lya stopped walking as soon as they reached the outside and she turned around, seeing the bright letters spelling GREEN DAY on the front of the venue.

Jimmy snapped his fingers in front of her face.

“Hey, we need to get back to the car, it’s going to be a pain in the ass to get out of the parking lot.”
She didn’t move, her eyes still on the letters.

“You ok?”

“I just saw Green Day.”

“Yeah, I know. I was there with you.”

“She wasn’t there.” She whispered, her voice breaking. “She wasn’t with me.”

For a reason unknown to him, Jimmy felt his eyes whelming up and he quickly shook it off.

“Of course she was, in here.” He said, his voice slightly breaking as he took Athalya’s hand and placed it over her heart.

He tried to comfort her the best he could as she started crying and picked her up on his back, trying to catch up with Brian and Michelle.

“You know what? Let’s be total groupies and wait for them.” Said Jimmy, as he caught up with Brian and Michelle, leading the way to the back of the venue.

He didn’t know if it was because it was a small show or because everyone had school the next morning but there was only a handful of kids waiting.

They waited in the cool night air, sticking together and cracking jokes to ease up Athalya’s mood.
About half an hour later, Tré, Jason and Mike walked out of the venue and everyone darted to them, surrounding them.

A couple of seconds later, a familiar figure walked out, a mess of black hair, jeans and T-shirt.

It was like something snapped inside of her, like she couldn’t help herself as her brain had given up any restraint. She took a few hesitant steps towards him, her arms forward in an awkward position.

Billie Joe turned his head towards her and they looked at each other for a brief moment before she reached out and wrapped her arms around him, her face pressed on his shoulder. Somehow, she had to make sure it was real. That he was real and that she really did just saw them playing live. Her heart was hammering in her chest as she tried not to cry. She couldn’t hear the other fans realizing his presence, she couldn’t hear the cars driving down the road a few meters away, she couldn’t hear a thing except his breathing.

“She would have loved the show.” She managed to choke out before taking a step back, still feeling his warm hands on her back. She sniffed and angrily wiped her eyes before she walked back to her friends, pretending nothing had happened.

“Now I can die happy” she said, as she reached Michelle, Brian and Jimmy. She tried smiling, but the pain in her eyes was too obvious. She felt so many contradicting emotions at the same time.

Michelle linked arms with her, still on cloud nine.

“It’s not my jam, but they sure know how to put on a show” said Jimmy, leading the way back to the car.