Status: complete
No Other
Your Love, Your Pride, Your Darkness
Your crimes are a bitter pill that I cannot swallow, I spit it out at the taste. There is a deep sickness brewing inside my belly, but this medication is no remedy. I feel my face contort, in rage, in distaste, my taste buds cringe at the taste of blood. You twist the knife between my vertebrae.
“Listen, it doesn’t mean I have stopped loving you –“
This is not fire, it is arsenic. It is a black, bitter poison racing through my blood.
“- I just love someone else, too. I love you both. In different ways.”
I try not to, but I picture you with him. I picture your familiar contortions and tricks, I picture sweat and fever. I picture an unfamiliar dick, and your face as you cum.
“Callum, are you ok? You’re so quiet, I…”
I feel as though I am flashing, I am too hot. There is too much saliva in my mouth and my body is overflowing with oxygen. I spit on the asphalt. These eight years were nothing to you at all? Every kiss, the build up to this vile climax? You try to touch my arm but you are covered in slime, I feel impure and wretched. I pull away.
“Callum, please don’t be impulsive about this. You know I adore you – this doesn’t change that. I just need to explore this new flame, too.”
You are a fucking worm under my foot, you are a mouth-breathing bottom-feeding piece of shit, I am equal parts rage and devastation. Every pure thing I ever held is tainted, every moment I ever cherished has been ripped apart by the hurricane inside my heart. I want to crush you and hurt you, I want to make you hurt like you have hurt me, your face is full of concern and it makes me sick.
I rip the car keys from your hand and I close the boot. You have the sense not to follow me. There is adrenalin coursing through every nerve as I place both hands on the wheel. As I pull out, I do not look at your face. I do not look at your arms or your eyes or your traitorous hands, covered in my blood. I stare straight ahead and I curb my instinct to crush you. Two hit-and-runs.
And yet with every mile I drive, I feel my adrenalin ebbing away. I feel the poison settle and begin to seep through my veins and in to my bones. I feel my heart turn grey as it runs out of blood to vomit. I wilt like a dying a flower, and I stop feeling the air conditioner run over my hands, stop making conscious turns. My eyes keep staring straight ahead and I keep my foot on the accelerator. I fade to black.
“Listen, it doesn’t mean I have stopped loving you –“
This is not fire, it is arsenic. It is a black, bitter poison racing through my blood.
“- I just love someone else, too. I love you both. In different ways.”
I try not to, but I picture you with him. I picture your familiar contortions and tricks, I picture sweat and fever. I picture an unfamiliar dick, and your face as you cum.
“Callum, are you ok? You’re so quiet, I…”
I feel as though I am flashing, I am too hot. There is too much saliva in my mouth and my body is overflowing with oxygen. I spit on the asphalt. These eight years were nothing to you at all? Every kiss, the build up to this vile climax? You try to touch my arm but you are covered in slime, I feel impure and wretched. I pull away.
“Callum, please don’t be impulsive about this. You know I adore you – this doesn’t change that. I just need to explore this new flame, too.”
You are a fucking worm under my foot, you are a mouth-breathing bottom-feeding piece of shit, I am equal parts rage and devastation. Every pure thing I ever held is tainted, every moment I ever cherished has been ripped apart by the hurricane inside my heart. I want to crush you and hurt you, I want to make you hurt like you have hurt me, your face is full of concern and it makes me sick.
I rip the car keys from your hand and I close the boot. You have the sense not to follow me. There is adrenalin coursing through every nerve as I place both hands on the wheel. As I pull out, I do not look at your face. I do not look at your arms or your eyes or your traitorous hands, covered in my blood. I stare straight ahead and I curb my instinct to crush you. Two hit-and-runs.
And yet with every mile I drive, I feel my adrenalin ebbing away. I feel the poison settle and begin to seep through my veins and in to my bones. I feel my heart turn grey as it runs out of blood to vomit. I wilt like a dying a flower, and I stop feeling the air conditioner run over my hands, stop making conscious turns. My eyes keep staring straight ahead and I keep my foot on the accelerator. I fade to black.