Punch Drunk Crazy

Christmas was fast approaching, and Tom had been avoiding running into Sam at all costs. Not that she could blame him. If she was being honest she was avoiding running into him as well. At least now, after weeks of watching him come home alone all of the time and barely leave his apartment in general Sam had to pull herself out of that rabbit hole and follow his lead; pretending each other didn't exist.

She had most of her things moved into her new condo by now, but she had left a box or two there knowing she wouldn't what was inside it for a while, so it wasn't a necessity on her list. She would bring a box or two every couple of days over to her new condo, knowing she had until January third to fully move out. She had been sleeping in the new condo, and hadn't been back to her old place for anything in a few weeks, but now she was back in Arlington to grab one last box and drop her keys off.

Struggling with balancing the box in one hand and pushing the elevator button Sam found the box being lifted out of her hands. She turned to find Mike standing beside her with a small smile on his face, she reached out and pushed the button for the elevator and thanked him.

Mike glanced down at the box in his hands and he looked over at Sam and asked her curiously, "So you are leaving?"

She nodded slowly and explained, "I found a place closer to work... and I thought maybe leaving was better for him... both of us."

Mike nodded his head in agreement, "Probably."

She wanted to ask if he was seeing anyone, she wanted to ask that desperately, but she didn't. Instead she asked Mike, "How is he? I know I don't have a right to ask, but I'm asking."

"You're right, you don't have a right to ask." Mike told her, his voice a little snippy, before his cheeks flushed and he apologized, "I'm sorry."

Sam shook her head, "Don't be, you're his best friend, I'd be upset if you didn't take his side."

Mike nodded and cleared his throat as the elevator doors opened and he stepped in with Sam, still carrying her box for her, he told her honestly, "He's okay. Doesn't do much aside from to and from the arena and road trips, but he's okay."

Mike left out the fact that after Sam had ended things with him Tom had, for some unknown reason, started casually seeing Ari again. He left it out because he didn't understand it, and it pissed him off, and he didn't want to hurt Sam with it.

As much as he felt for Tom, he understood where Sam was coming from. Sure, he hated seeing his friend so upset, anyone would, but every part of Mike that wanted to hate Sam just couldn't.

The rest of the ride down to the lobby was silent, and as they stepped out of the elevator Mike followed Sam to her vehicle and put the box in her back seat. She stood by the door to her SUV as he stuffed his hands in his pockets and nodded his head slowly as he said, "I guess I probably won't see you around any time soon."

"Probably not." Sam paused, wondered if she should even say it, and finally she decided to just say it, "I really am sorry for how things played out. I never wanted to hurt him."

"Yeah, I know. I get it Sam, I don't want to but I get it. I'm sorry for both of you."

With that Sam got into her vehicle and drove away and Mike went back up to his apartment, forgetting why he had even left in the first place. He dropped onto the couch and grabbed the remote, flicking through a few channels before he was reminded of why he left the apartment.

"Hi Mike." He turned his head over his shoulder to find Tom and Ari walking into the kitchen.

Tom watched as Mike wordlessly got up off of the couch and grabbed his keys, which was when Tom asked, "Dude where are you going?"

"You want to make shit decisions that's fine, but I'm not hanging around to watch again." Tom's brow raised when Mike said this.

Tom didn't ask for clarification, no he knew exactly what Mike was talking about. It was Ari who asked him, hand on her hip, "What does that mean?"

"It means you must think he's really stupid. Hell, right now even I think he's an idiot. You might think that he's upset and looking for comfort after being dumped, that he needs a warm bed and someone to make him feel good and important and that maybe if you're nice enough he'll be stupid enough to let you sink your claws into him again but not a chance in hell am I letting him do that, not a chance in hell am I letting you put him through this shit again."

"Dude-" Tom started, trying to tell Mike that he didn't need to say this, that he already knew all this.

But Mike wasn't talking to Tom, he was talking to Ari so he cut Tom off and continued, "If he really needs a bed buddy to get him through right now he could go find one in a bar. Hell, he could pick up a hooker for all I care. As long as she isn't you."

Ari looked at Tom and said, "Tom…"

He sighed and told her, "You should probably go."

She rolled her eyes and stormed off, and Mike dropped his keys onto the counter and then dropped himself onto the couch. As he went back to watching TV Tom retreated back into his bedroom where he cleaned up; putting new sheets on the bed, throwing out the trash filled with countless reminders of how stupid he had been over the last few weeks.

What the hell had he been thinking? Letting Ari of all people try to fill that spot. Mike was right, a hooker would have been better.

Tom dropped onto his bed with a sigh, and laying on his back he stared at the ceiling for hours on end. He replayed that final night with Sam, and a lot of other nights before that. He thought about how he should have stayed, demanded she admit how she really felt and found some way to convince her to stop giving a fuck about what other people thought.

He should have said it. He should have told her how he felt when he had the chance. Maybe it wouldn't have changed anything but he should have said it.

He wondered if she knew what he was going to say when she cut him off and told him to leave.

He should have told her he loved her.

A knock on his door hours later disturbed him, and Mike asked him, "Kelly made dinner. There's a plate out here for you if you want it."

Tom pulled himself off of the bed and got up, walking down the hall and into the kitchen. He sat at the island counter with Mike and Kelly and they ate in relative silence. Small talk was made that Tom didn't make any contributions to and when they were finished Tom put his dishes away and retreated back to his room in silence.

He had to pack, they had a road trip to be ready for in the morning and Tom may have been stupid enough to let this situation dictate his decision making but he wasn't about to let it fuck up his game. That was the one thing he knew he could still do, and do well.

- - -

It was eight thirty at night and Sam was on the couch with the TV on, going over case files when a knock on her door caused her to jump. She paused the TV and got up, her bare feet padding against the hardwood floor as she approached the door. She pulled it open to find her mother standing in the hallway.

"What are you doing here?" Sam asked, hoping she didn't sound too surprised, or worse, rude.

Karen smiled and informed her, "Your dad called, said he was worried about you and when you didn't return my calls I thought I'd come see you."

"How did you even know where I live?" Sam asked curiously.

"The landlady at your old apartment was kind enough to give me your forwarding address. Aren't you gonna invite me in?" She asked.

Can I not?

Sam sighed and stepped out of the way, holding the door open for her mother. She closed it behind them and watched her mother as she looked over the condo. Sam hadn't had much of a chance to really move in, most of her things were still in boxes piled against the kitchen peninsula.

Karen told her, "This is a nice place."

Why were they bothering with small talk?

"What do you want?" Sam asked, causing Karen to turn and smile gently at her.

"You weren't returning my calls." She stated, as if it should have been obvious.

Sam told her, "You and I, we don't do this. We don't talk, we don't call, we don't visit. In case you're forgetting, you're the one who decided that."

"Honey that was eight years ago. I was just upset that you chose Chris over me." Karen told her softly.

Sam rolled her eyes, "I didn't choose dad over you. I chose the best school I could get into, it just happened to be in the same state as him."

"We don't need to fight over the details."

Her jaw clenched for a moment, before Sam said, "You're right, we don't. You can tell me what you want and then you can leave."

"Samantha, don't act like a child." Karen scolded, and Sam narrowed her eyes at her.

"I'm the child? You haven't spoken to me in eight years because what, I hurt your feelings that I chose to get a good education? But I'm the child?" She knew she was overreacting but Sam was exhausted. This whole charade was getting old.

"I thought… I just thought it might be nice to come visit." Karen told her softly.

"Here's a tip; next time don't." Sam told her harshly.

Her phone lit up on the coffee table, a text from Paula, and Karen glanced down at it, before asking, "Who's the boy?"

Sam looked over, she hadn't been able to bring herself to change her lock screen; a picture of she and Tom. She sighed and said, "No one."

"He's cute… but young." Karen noted.

Sam rolled her eyes, "I didn't ask you, and even if I did I wouldn't take your advice you were hardly the role model for perfect relationships growing up."

"Just what does that mean?" Karen asked her with slightly narrowed eyes.

"How many boyfriends did you have from the time I was six to eighteen? Ten? Twenty?" Sam fired out.

"That's not fair."

"The hell it isn't! Every time you met some guy you moved us across the map and then a year later you met someone new and we were moving again and did you ever once ask if it was what I wanted? Did you ever once think about what all that moving would be like for me? No, because unlike any normal parent it never occurred to you to be a parent first." Sam exclaimed, crossing her arms over her chest.

"You mean it never occurred to me to be like your father." Karen muttered, and she went on, "Unbelievable. I raised you. I gave up everything I could have had for you. Maybe I wasn't the perfect mother, but I'm the one who took care of you. Not your July through August father."

"You never took care of me. By the time I was eight I knew how to do my laundry, I got myself up for school, made my own breakfast, got myself to school, came home and did my homework and half the time had to make myself dinner. Don't come here and insult me by saying you raised me. I raised myself, you were too busy with whatever sleaze bag you were with at the time." Sam stated, before she added, "And yeah maybe I only saw dad in the summers but at least I never came home to see him groping some random on the couch. At least he was around, and at least he had the sense to know that a child shouldn't be making their own meals and tucking themselves in."

"I think we're done here." Karen stated, hiking her purse up onto her shoulder.

As her mother headed to the door Sam exclaimed, "Yeah and don't worry about me, dad already paid for the therapy I needed from you being my mother."

The only response she got was the door slamming behind Karen. Sam knew she should feel bad for being so harsh, but she just didn't have it in her to even care anymore. She figured this meltdown was twenty some odd years in the making, it just seemed that now she just didn't care enough to hold it all in anymore.

So she locked the condo door and turned around to look at the case files she had been looking at prior to the surprise visit from mother of the year Karen. She sighed.

She gathered them all up and put them into a pile on the kitchen counter before she filled a glass with some wine and headed upstairs to run a bath.

While the water was running Sam put her clothes in the hamper and wrapped a robe around herself before she stepped out onto the balcony and leaned against the railing. She chewed on her bottom lip and as she stared out at the scene before her she wondered if this was the right move.

If moving into Washington was the right move.

Maybe she should have just picked another state. Ran even further away from her problems than she already was. That seemed much smarter now, but she probably would have thought of that had she spent more than 2 seconds deciding to buy this condo in the first place. In an effort to run away from her current problems it seemed she didn't think it through enough to really benefit from the decision.

So maybe she needed to really think about things and make some other changes in her life.