In My Head

*December 28*

It had been a full month since Tatum and Olli had been on their little dinner date, and boy did they have a great time. Since the date, the pair actively saw one another. While it was no secret to the team that the young couple were together, Tatum made it clear that she wanted her name in no reporter’s mouth. The media horrified the defensemen’s lady; they were ruthless animals that could destroy your reputation and career with one wrong move. Not only that, but they were always in people’s personal space. It was awful.

Tatum sat at her desk, typing up a few final notes before the end of her day. As she was typing, Kris Letang, one of Olli’s fellow defensemen, knocked on her door with a big smile on his face. He spoke in a cutesy voice, “ ’ello, pretty woman. You look acceptionally wonderful today. How is my favorite psychologist?”

“Alright, what do you want, Kris,” Tatum asked, logging off of her computer. Kris looked at her with a half-smile, tilting his head in a confused motion. “Listen, it doesn’t take a psychology degree for me to tell that you’re bull shitting me. You only pull all those stupid compliments out when you need something. So, I ask you once again, Kris, what do you need?”

“Well,” Kris said with a little chuckle, “it’s not what I need, little girl. It’s what you need. What your lover needs.”

Tatum laughed a little, but she couldn’t hide the evident concern on her face. What does this mean? It was one thing to her about problems in the relationship from Olli, but from somebody else? That is scary.

“I think Olli kind of wants to take this relationship to the next level, you know. He seems like he really loves you,” Kris said as Tatum’s smile faded slowly. “I think he wants to take this thing to the next level-”

Tatum put her head in her hands, interrupting her friend, “I’m not ready for all that, and Olli knows that. I want to take this thing slowly, just until I’m comfortable with everything.”

As she finished, Olli walked into her office and kissed her on the forehead. She snuggled into his chest, taking in his scent. He smiled of sweat and sweet cologne, a mix that Tatum didn’t mind all that in the moment. His cotton t-shirt tickled her facial skin, and she moved her chin upwards so that she could see the boyish good looks on his face.

“Hello, darling,” he said as he kissed the top of her head once more, “how is the team’s little psychologist doing? Are you ready to go home?”

Tatum nodded her head, grabbing her bag and pulling it over her winter coat. Olli locked his hand next to hers, and together they walked out. Kris sent them both a goodbye wave, keeping eye contact with Tatum as she left. There was no doubt that Tatum’s mind that Kris was entirely correct in what he was saying. She always thought it selfish that she couldn’t move on it the relationship, but she had great reasons.

The two made their way to Olli’s truck, hoping in and promptly headed out on the snow covered highway. Tatum became lost in her thoughts, thinking over the relationship. There was nothing she didn’t like about Olli. Everything he did, he did right. He literally could do no wrong in the relationship, and that scared his girlfriend to no end.

“Hey, princess,” Tatum was drawn back to her senses when she heard Olli’s voice, “what are you thinking about?”

“Why don’t you have any flaws,” Tatum asked. Olli said nothing, except he did send her a half confused, half smiling face. “Why don’t you have a single thing wrong with you?”

“I have tons of things wrong with me-”

“Olli, no, you don’t have a single thing wrong with you. You have everything I could ever ask for in a man, but for some god damn reason, I can’t make this serious. I keep trying to push this relationship forward in my head, but when I’m about ready to do it, I get scared. It just seems silly because you’re everything I want.”

Olli glanced over at his girlfriend, who looked stressed out. She pulled her legs up to her chest and wiped some tears that escaped from her eyes. It broke his heart to see her like this. “Honey, our relationship is serious. It’s not like we’re just sleeping together and that’s it. We’ve been moving at a really steady pace together: we hang out every day, we stay at each other’s houses… everything is moving at the right pace.”

“But do you want more than I’m offering,” Tatum questioned, earning a slight head turn from Olli. “I mean, we’ve never… you know. And Kris said that you wanted more, and now here I am-”

“Don’t listen to Kris, honey, he thinks he knows everything. We don’t have to have sex until you’re ready to have sex,” Olli announced with a laugh as he pulled in front of his girlfriend’s apartment complex. He pecked her on the lips as she unbuckled her seatbelt. “You are perfect the way you are. So, I’ll see you tomorrow after practice. Sleep tight, okay?”

Tatum kissed him back and smiled. He set her mind straight, like he always does with her. She breathed out heavily when she finally got up to her apartment.

For the first time in a long while, Tatum felt completely calm as she thought about her relationship. She finally felt ready to keep this going.