For Storms and Saints

“There she is kids! Say hi to auntie!”

“Auntie! Auntie!”

“Over here!”

“Where is she? I can’ see her!”

“Hold in, she’s coming Theo, you’ll see.”

I heard those four voices before I saw any of them. I grabbed my bag as soon as I saw it, hoisting my carry on atop my shoulder. I tried to push past the crowd of people in front of me with little success, having to wait and waddle my way to the exit. As the crowd got closer and closer, people started taking off left and right towards their loved ones or open taxi cabs. Waving a few feet away from baggage claim was my family. Three adorable kids all fighting to hold up the sign someone sloppily wrote on Welcome Home Aunt Noa.

“Hi my guys!” I yelled, running over to them. I crouched down to their level before engulfed them all in a hug, planting wet lipstick kisses on their faces, making them squeal. The kids were accompanied by their father who stood behind them with a shit eating grin on his face.

“Welcome back, Miss Noa Poe.” He said teasingly. I stood up and opened my arms and was immediately pulled into a bone crushing hug. The last time Frank hugged me like this was a little over a year ago when I went overseas to France.

“Thank you. I missed my best friend too much. France was boring without you.” I whispered, soaking in the love. I hadn’t seen any of my family, Frank’s or my own since I left and skype video chats weren’t enough. We stayed hugging until the kids began whining, tugging at my sweater telling their dad they wanted hugs too.

After a shuffle of hugging one another, we all grabbed hands, the kids between Frank and I and walked off towards the doors into the cold New York air. Frank and his wife owned a black SUV with those weird movie screens attached to the back seats to hold their little family. I always knew Frank was going to have kids but didn’t guess that he would have his wife pop out three in five years. Of course, Blaire and Claire were twins but still.

“Victoria should have dinner ready by the time we get home.” We had made it on the highway and the kids were watching some animated kid’s movie, making their mouths slack open like zombies.

“God, I almost forgot about your prim and proper wife!" I joked, "I mean no wonder your kids are named like they’re heir to the Iero throne.” I laughed. No matter how much I loved Frank, I will alway hate that he let Victoria name the kids with no creative dad input from Frank. He was the king of cool names in my opinion.

“Hey! I mean, yeah they’re proper and shit, but...that’s who Vic is, ya know?” He said softly. We always butted heads when it came to Victoria. He loved her, I tolerated her ; I always got the feeling that she thought she was too good for him still, she wouldn't even look his way when we were in high school then out of the blue, when My Chem was in their prime time and the boys took a break coming home to Jersey, she suddenly had all the time in the world for Frank and now? She couldn’t even stomach Frank opening up to her about his insecurities and depression and knew she got herself into a marriage with a musician and yet she wouldn’t shut her gob about Frank’s touring schedule and how she feels so alone in raising the kids even though the kids act like Frank raised him on his own. He has his own little band of clones.

“Yeah, yeah I know Frank. And I promise to not tell Victoria you called her Vic.” We smiled at each other before settling into comfortable silence, taking in the outside world fade from New York to New Jersey. Home.

Along with their fancy car, Frank’s family lived in a bougie suburb called Maplewood, too far from his mom’s house for her liking. It was a nice house, on the larger side, double car garage, second floor with four bedrooms and three bathrooms. Victoria had decorated the house with bowls of potpourri for Thanksgiving giving off a real white soccer mom vibe. Sometimes I forgot that Victoria had a nice job working as a lawyer and that she could afford to have nice shit.

“Here we are…” We parked in the driveway, the kids jumping out and running to the front door, screaming and giggling. Frank helped me drag my shit inside, being abandoned at the foyer next to a rack to put your shoes. Frank and I both kicked off our tattered converse, placing them neatly on the rack so Victoria won’t scream at us. “Honey! Guess who’s here…”

Frank and I walked towards the kitchen, passing the children playing with toys. When found out Victoria was pregnant with the girls, I was so jealous and when she got pregnant with Theo that jealousy went through the roof. I always wanted to be a mother, weather I got pregnant or adopted, it didn’t matter. I just wanted someone to love forever and to take care of them but no adoption agency in their right minds would give a baby to a single woman living in New Jersey working as a ghost writer. And, I was never home, always going places to experience something new. Ever since I was a teenager I wanted to travel but the motherly instincts didn’t kick in until Frank and Victoria started their family. I alway found myself jealous of Victoria, it was kind of sickening.

I entered the kitchen behind Frank, Victoria coming into full view. She was standing at the stove in a nice dress, pearls and a frilly apron. She turned around, a wide simile on her face but I knew it wasn’t for me.