Part of Me

Kellin’s POV

“The number you have called is currently unavailable, please try again later.”

I hang up the call for the hundredth time that night, groaning when the time reads 4:42 am. I’ve been trying to get a hold of Oliver since I found out about my little dilemma and that was about 11 hours ago.

All I’ve done since I found out the results is cry. I hadn’t moved from the bed. My stomach was rumbling non stop because I hadn’t eaten anything, the thought of eating just made me want to be sick again. I haven’t been able to sleep, I’ve tossed and turned but it’s just been impossible to switch off my mind.

I’ve just balled my eyes out thinking of every worse scenario possible all night long and it’s given me a raging headache.

I needed my boyfriend. I needed his comfort and for him to wrap his heavily tattoo arms around me while he rests his chin on top of my head and tell me everything is going to be alright. I craved that more than anything right now. But I knew all too well that would be far from his reaction.

I feel my swollen eyes begin to well up again just at the thought until I hear the front door open and a lot of shuffling around going on downstairs and I shoot up from the bed.

Oliver was finally home and I feel my heart suddenly race with fear as anxiety fills me. How was I going to tell him? Should I tell him now or just wait until the morning? I’ve been going out of my mind all night long and preparing myself for this moment but now all confidence has disappeared and I have no idea what to do or even begin to put it into a sentence.

The bedroom door opens and I freeze on the bed.

I watch how he clumsily enters the room trying to be as quiet as a non sober can be,

“Baby, why are you still awake?” he slurs when his eyes land on me.

I was sitting up in bed with the bed side lamp on just staring at him. A frown quickly forms across my face when I take in his appearances, of course he wasn’t sober.

“Where have you been?” I snap, ignoring his question.

“I had band practice, I told you that.”

“Band practice which goes on until 4.30 in the morning?” I ask and didn’t wait for him to come up with a lame excuse.

I climb out of bed and go over to him, grunting in disgust when I get a strong whiffed of alcohol and weed mixed together. I reach my hand into his back pocket avoiding his attempt to kiss me and pull out his phone. It was switched off, I should have known, he always did this when he was up to no good and didn’t want to be disturbed by anyone… mainly me.

“Why is your phone off, I’ve been trying to get hold of you for hours!”

“My battery died, don’t be mad babe.” He shrugs and walks past me and flops down on to our bed.

He was so fucking infuriating. He hadn’t even asked if I was alright, isn’t it obvious I’ve been up crying all night? Not to mention I worry non stop about him when I don’t hear from him all night when he’s out taking god knows what. But he never cares about how I feel… he was inconsiderate like that.

I sigh in frustration and glared at him. He was sprawled out on the bed with his eyes closed looking like an utter mess. He was making it really hard for me to tell him the news, he probably wouldn’t remember it anyway in his drunken state. Maybe I should just wait until he was sober but I don’t think I could keep it to myself for much longer.

He slowly starts undoing the buttons on his red flannel revealing his neck and collar bones to me in the dim light.

I march forwards with wide eyes and a fuming temper when I see dark blotches on his skin which wasn’t his permanent art work.

“Where are those hickies from?!” I yell, towering over him.

“They’re from you Kells.” He says opening his eyes.

Liar!

“I haven’t given you hickies since school and you know it! Have you been fooling around with Josh again?” I accuse with teary eyes and a lump forming in my throat at the mere thought.

“Kell, babe, I told you before I haven’t slept with Josh in months.” He tries reassuring me.

I sniff and cross my arms over my chest not believing him.

Josh hadn’t been answering his phone either when I tried calling him when I couldn’t get through to Oli. Does he think I’m stupid? I know all too well what the two of them get up to when I’m not around.

Oliver has cheated on me with his so called best friend a number of times in the past and I always stupidly forgive him for it every single time. I constantly felt uncomfortable around Josh ever since we were at school together. I wasn’t a fan of his and Oli’s cosy close friendship but I didn’t want to be the jealous boyfriend who didn’t let him hang out with his friends. I learnt to go along with it but over the years but when the rumours became true and I found out they’ve been fooling around together the whole time I had every right to despise Josh, and want him nowhere near my boyfriend.

~~

FLASHBACK ~ FIVE YEARS AGO

I looked around the corridors and didn’t see anyone I recognise so I just made my way over to my locker at the end of the hall.

I’ve been hanging out with Oli and his friends a lot for the last couple of weeks now. I’ve actually started to like it here which is a first for me because I usually hate all the places I had to move to because of my dad’s stupid job.

Oliver’s friends seemed to like me and didn’t have a problem with me joining their group. Apart from Josh though, I don’t know what it is but I seem to get this weird vibe from him whenever he’s around… I’m probably just over thinking it to be honest. I haven’t got the chance to speak to him much so it’s most likely nothing.

Oli and I have been meeting up outside of school and texting each other a lot lately. He’s been extremely flirtatious and over friendly with me and I can’t help but feel all funny and warm whenever I’m around him. I think we’re turning into something? I don’t know, maybe I’m getting a head of myself here but I really do like him, a lot and I hope he feels the same.

“Hey, Kellin.”

I turn around to see Vic standing behind me with his usual welcoming smile on his face.

“Oh, uh, hi Vic.” I smile timidly.

I haven’t really hung out with the others in the group entirely on my own to have a one to one conversation with them. I was always by Oli’s side, not that he let me leave it often.

But Vic seemed like an alright kind of guy. He’s always nice to me and always went out of his way to include me in their conversations when we were all together as a group.

Vic leans against the lockers next to mine and watches me fiddle around with my books. A couple of pages fall out of my sketch book and Vic so kindly bends down to pick them up for me.

He glances at my drawings before handing them back to me.

“Wow, these are really good Kellin.” He says.

“Thanks, I don’t really show my art work to anyone.” I say shyly.

“Well you definitely should, you have talent Kells.”

“You really think so?”

“Yeah, you should look into selling some stuff online or something.” He suggests.

“I wouldn’t know where to start.” I shrug brushing off the idea.

“I can help you. I could design you a website if you want, it’ll be easy.”

I was surprised at his kindness. No one has gone out of their way to help me with anything, especially my art work. He seemed generally interested in my work and helping me out and I guess I’d be a fool to turn down his offer.

“That’ll be great Vic, thanks.” I blush but smile anyway.

“Anytime.” He grins.

I glance up from my books and look at Vic but this time I actually notice how attractive he his. I have no idea how I didn’t see it before but not only is his kindness attractive, but his looks as well. He had these dark chocolate brown eyes which twinkled whenever he smiled and complimented his tan coloured skin tone. He had long soft brown hair which sat on top of his shoulders and shone in the light. I don’t get how someone as nice and popular as him could be talking to a loser like me.

I close my locker once taking out what I needed for class and leant against them beside Vic.

“Have you seen Oli this morning?” I ask and I’m surprise to see him frown.

“Oli’s usually late or he just doesn’t turn up at all.” He shrugs.

“Oh.” I frown. He hasn’t answered any of my texts since yesterday morning.

I hope he wasn’t bored of me.

“Anyway, Kells, I wanted to talk to you.” Vic says facing me.

“You are talking to me.” I laugh in confusion.

“Uh, yeah, right. I mean...” he scratches the side of his head and laughs nervously.

I glance past Vic and see Oli had walked through the doors with Josh all too close to his side. In fact, I even saw Oli had his arm around Josh’s waist.

My face drops at the sight and Vic notices and follows my gaze and takes a look over his shoulder. He sighs and shakes his head before turning back round to me.

Oli’s eyes make contact with mine and his arm instantly drops from around Josh when he sees me with Vic.

“Kellin, about Oli and J-“

“Kells.” Oli shouts over the crowd of school students and interrupts whatever Vic was going to say.

He walks over to us and basically leans into me and wraps his arm around my neck and gives me his knowing smirk. I melt at his smile and whole existence which was holding me tight to his side.

“Get lost Fuentes.” Oli nods towards the end of the hall, hinting to leave us alone.

My eyebrows furrow together at Oli’s bold rudeness.

“Whatever Sykes.” Vic shakes his head and walks off.

“That was rude Oli.” I tell him, feeling bad for Vic. He was only being nice.

Oli snorts.

“It’s only Vic. He’s a big boy, I’m sure he’ll get over it.” he smirks.

I look down at my feet still a little confused at what I saw with him and Josh moments ago. And I was also wondering why he hadn’t answered any of my texts either.

“You haven’t replied to my texts.” I look up at him shyly and bite my lip.

“Yeah, sorry about that love, my phone ran out of battery and I lost my charger.”

“Oh, okay.” I look down again but only to have Oli’s finger lift my chin up to look at him again.

“You thought I was ignoring you.” He points out.

I blush feeling embarrassed for thinking that and nod to him.

“No way, Kells. I wouldn’t leave a shiny diamond like you alone, any old riff raff could try to snatch you up as there’s and we wouldn’t want you ending up with the wrong dealer now would we.” He smirks again but I find myself frowning at his comment.

“What?” I ask innocently, not understanding what he meant.

He pulls my face closer to his and my heart literally stops beating when he brings his lips to my ear and whispers.

“You’re a rare diamond Kellin Quinn, a diamond I plan on taking very good care of.”

~~

“Then who the fuck marked you up?!” I yell.

I frustratingly stomp my foot against the floorboards and quickly wipe the tears away from my eyes which fell.

“Come on Kells, don’t get upset. They’re from you, I swear.”

I couldn’t help but become emotional. He’s nothing but a fucking lying cheat and I’m a fool to believe that he will ever change.

Is this how it’s going to be during the next nine months? Oli coming home either high or drunk and cheating on me with god knows who and god knows where, while I’m sat at home carrying his child? I couldn’t handle that, I can’t handle it and I won’t, not anymore. It had to stop.

“Stop lying to me!”

“Fuck sake, I’m not!” he groans getting agitated now.

“Yes you are! Please just stop all this, I can’t take it anymore, I just want you to be straight with me. You need to grow up and start sorting yourself out because when the baby comes I can’t be dealing with your constant bullshit!” I gasp and my hand flings to my mouth.

My eyes widen at my own words. I didn’t mean to just blurt it out like that. But he got me so worked up I couldn’t stop the words from falling out of my mouth.

I see him roll his eyes and drag a hand down his face.

“Stop being so dramatic Kellin. Just come to bed.” He groans.

“I’m being fucking serious Oliver!”

He doesn’t say anything but prop himself up on his elbows and looks me up and down before staring at me confusingly in his drunken state.

I take a deep breath. It was now or never.

“I-I’m pregnant… Oli, we’re gonna have a baby.” I mumble and bite my lip as I wait for his reaction.

I stood in awkward silence waiting for him to say something, anything. Just something to put my mind at some sort of peace, otherwise I was going to lose it.

“It’s probably just a false alarm.” He says after a minute or two looking rather uncomfortable.

My heart sinks at his words but anger overcomes my sadness.

“Are you fucking kidding me?! I took a test Oli and it was positive. I’m pregnant and it’s yours and whether you like it or not, we’re having a baby.”

“We ain’t having anything.” He seethes through his teeth and gets up from the bed unsteadily.

“Where are you going?” I ask as he walks past me.

“Look, I’m tired as fuck and I just want to go to bed and not listen to your dramatic mouth make up a bunch of lies to get my attention!”

“Why the fuck would I lie about being pregnant?! Do you have any idea how terrified I am about this?!”

“Well you know what to do about it then don’t you.” He says coldly.

I gasp loudly in shock. As soon as those words left his lips they were more than enough to kill the anger burning up inside of me and allowed the sadness to creep in and spread its sorrow.

How could he even say such a thing? And literally right after I’ve told him I’m carrying his child to.

I open my mouth to say something but nothing but a sob escapes my throat and hot tears leak over my eyes and rolls down my cheeks.

Oli looks at me with an emotionless expression before looking away. He lets out an annoyed growl and leaves the room slamming the door shut behind him.

I take a step towards the door to follow him but I stop in my tracks and just burst into tears as I feel everything just collapse on top of me.

I sink to the floor and bury my face in my hands and cry. That wasn’t what I wanted to happen but was I really expecting him to be excepting of this? I was dumb to believe apart of him would actually be happy about it… I wasn’t even sure how I felt about it yet.

The worse of it all is that he’s just left me here all alone to deal with this by myself. No sign of comfort or support from his part at all. He ran away like a coward just like I knew he would.