Last Year Was Complicated

"So, how are things?" Brett glanced over at Antoine from her spot across the table. He had shown up earlier that evening and informed her that he was taking her out for dinner and he had sat on the couch in the new condo while she changed and made herself at least semi presentable. She really didn't want to go out, but he had come all the way to her, and she knew he was right; they hadn't gone for dinner just the two of them in a long time.

It used to be a standing thing every two weeks they would get together to catch up without the hassle of all of his teammates, and Brett honestly couldn't remember the last time they had gotten together.

She shrugged her shoulders and told him, "Okay I guess."

"How was your trip back home?" He asked her as their eyes both fell back to their menu's.

Brett flipped to the next page and said, "It was nice. I think... I think I needed to get out of here for a while."

He nodded his head slowly and asked her, "What exactly happened between you and Tyler? If it's okay of me to ask."

"We just... got into an argument again. Some things were said. I went home and we haven't talked since." Brett told him.

He called her out on her evasiveness, "Bullshit."

She sighed, tucked her blonde hair behind her ears and admitted, "It got... a little physical."

"What?" She could tell already that he was angry, not that it was hard to do. Antoine was like the worlds easier person to piss off, it took almost nothing. That was evident both on and off the ice.

"Not like that." She assured him, knowing exactly where his mind had gone. When he waited patiently for her to further her explanation he raised his eyebrow at her and so she sighed and said, "There was just some pushing and that's it. Tyler might be a dick but he's not that kind of a guy and you know it."

Antoine sighed, "Yeah... still doesn't make it okay."

"It doesn't. But it's not like he was the only one pushing the other around. It is what it is, it got out of control. End of story." Brett told him, shooting him a look when he sighed again.

"Alright, okay. End of story." He told her, and when she nodded and closed her menu to place it on the edge of the table he asked her curiously, "Are you ever gonna talk to him?"

"Maybe. I don't know. I'd like to I think. I mean... not like that. It's just that I've had time to cool down and think and I guess I'd like to hear what he has to say, and for him to hear what I have to say before I even decide if I want to bother with trying to make things work again." Brett told him, and before he could even do so much as to open his mouth she went on, "I know I seem stupid. I am stupid. He never changes, as much as I hope he will and as much as he says he will and I keep taking him back... but I don't know, I guess it's hard to just walk away from things now."

"So you love him, no one can fault you for that." Antoine assured her.

She let out a small chuckle and said, "No, but loving someone and letting them treat you like crap shouldn't go hand in hand."

"You're right." Antoine told her, not seeing the need to sugar coat things. She knew that she and Tyler's cycle, their little game wasn't good for her but Antoine was smart enough to know that there was no point in trying to force her to accept it. That would have to come on it's own, he just hoped it came sooner rather than later. The last thing he wanted was to see Brett hurt in a way that she couldn't bounce back from.

Brett took the break in conversation to change the subject off of herself and Tyler and whatever was, or wasn't, going on between them to ask Antoine, "How are things with you?"

"Good." He said it with a small grin that made Brett raise her eyebrow. She went to ask him what he was smiling about when he pulled out his cell phone, tapped away at the screen and then handed it to her. On it was a picture of an engagement ring, one big stone with the band covered in tiny little ones, and he told Brett proudly, "I picked it out two weeks ago."

She smiled over at him, "Congratulations."

"What do you think?" He asked her, and then he added, as if she wouldn't know what he was talking about, "About the ring?"

"I think it's gorgeous and Kelly's gonna love it." Brett told him, handing him his cell phone back with a warm smile. She had to admit she was jealous; not of the engagement because she was far too young for that but she was jealous of the fact that Antoine was about to take such a huge step in his relationship with a woman he loved more than just about anything in the world and Brett couldn't even get Tyler to apologize for hurting her.

They had been together for three years, two of which were more off an on than anything else but Brett couldn't recall Tyler ever once telling her that he loved her. She said it to him, and he would smile and kiss her but he never said it back. He never said anything like that; he never told her that he cared about her, that she was important to him. He had never even done so much as to tell her that he was sorry when he had done something wrong.

It was beginning to hit Brett that she was the only one who ever did anything to try to further their relationship and while he had never resisted he certainly didn't do anything to instil any faith in them. Yet here she was, having this huge revelation and it still wasn't enough to make her decide things were really over between them. She was a sucker for punishment.

She looked over at Antoine and told him, "Gia and I are getting a puppy."

He let out a laugh and joked, "You're growing up so fast."

She rolled her eyes but she laughed as well, and then she told him, "Well... I'm getting a puppy. I thought it would be good for me."

He nodded his head, as if he understood what she was trying to say, and he asked her, "What kind?"

"A pug." She told him and when he laughed she warned him, "Hey, you have a cat. Don't even start."

He held his hands up in a surrender fashion and asked, "Alright, what does this dog look like? When are you getting him? I need all the details on my little four legged niece or nephew."

Brett chuckled and she pulled out her cell phone, showing him the picture of the little black pug she had gone and picked out the week before. She told Antoine, "I can pick him up in three weeks, but I don't have a name for him yet."

"Smush face?" He asked, making her laugh.

"You're rude. He's sweet looking." Brett told him, glancing at the picture on her phone once more before she put the phone into her pocket. She told him, "As much as I would love like a Great Dane or something the only pets allowed in our apartments are cats, which as you know I am deathly allergic to, and small dogs only."

"So you're settling?" He joked with a wicked grin.

She rolled her eyes, "Yes. I'm settling for the cutest little fur baby I've ever seen in my life."

"You're odd." He told her.

"Cat lover." She countered back with.

When Brett arrived back home after Antoine dropped her off she found Gia sitting on the couch watching TV. Gia glanced over at her and asked, "How was your dinner?"

Brett shrugged her shoulders, dropped onto the couch next to Gia and told her, "Good. Nice to get out of the house and do normal people things. I kind of missed catching up with him."

"Yeah... he's nice." Gia noted, and then she added, "And cute."

"And in a serious relationship." Brett reminded her.

"Hey, we both know I do not swing the way of the dicks. Not my jam." Gia stated, making Brett laugh. She then added, "I just... you should find a guy like him."

"He's not my type." Brett stated.

Gia told her with a pointed look, "Your type isn't good for you."

"I know." Brett said softly. When Gia nodded her head Brett told her, "So the pup gets to come home in three weeks."

"You thought of a name yet?" Gia asked her, changing the channel with the remote.

Brett reached out and snatched the remote from Gia's hand, making the older of the two roll her eyes as Brett went channel surfing to find something for them to watch. While she did so she joked, "I was thinking Chewie... maybe Waffles."

Gia let out a loud laugh, "You're an idiot."

Brett grinned, "True. But no, I haven't picked out a name yet."

"I'm sure it will be like when mothers give birth to their babies and they see them for the first time and it just comes to them." Gia told her with a grin that made them both laugh.

"And you say I'm an idiot." Brett joked.

- - -

For the third day in a row Tyler found himself taking a seat on the couch downstairs with a glass of something amber in his glass. He rested his arm on the arm rest as he sunk back into the couch and glanced around the house. The dogs were lounging on the floor by the doors to the backyard, probably a subtle hint that they wanted out but he was too exhausted to go out there with them.

His eyes fell on the box sitting on the kitchen counter and he wondered how long it would be before he had purged all of Brett's things from his house. He kept finding things at the most inconvenient times lately.

He had found a jacket in the closet by the front door, a bra in his closet, several pieces of jewellery hanging around in various rooms of the house. He was tired of it. He didn't need another reminder of what had happened between them, about how he was doing absolutely nothing about it either.

Tyler knew Brett would come back eventually, she always did, but he was smart enough to know that after their last fight it would be a while before she showed up to talk. But he would be ready when that day came. Just like always he would listen to her, gauge her emotions, and then he would say whatever he thought she would want to hear. It usually worked.

He did wonder if she ever knew he was lying, she had to know. Brett wasn't stupid by any means, she was smart, way too smart for him so there was no way she knew that he didn't mean what he said to her when they made up. It made him wonder why she pretended to believe him, why she accepted his empty promises and why she kept coming back.

He was sure he would never understand that.

There was a lot Tyler didn't understand, and at the top of that list was himself.

It was like he knew what he was doing was wrong, he knew he had made a mistake, he knew he was being an asshole and he knew he should apologize and fix things for real but he just couldn't do it. Every part of him knew he had a good thing with Brett, he knew she loved him too much to really be done with him and maybe that was why he had never made the effort to be a decent person to her.

Then again he had never really made the effort to be a decent person to any girl her had been with in the past. He had never made the effort to be a decent person in general. He, along with everyone else, had thought being traded would change things; that somehow, some magical way, he would suddenly change and be the person he had been raised to be. That hadn't happened, and he wasn't all that surprised.

Still, he didn't know how to fix things with Brett. He didn't know how to be a good boyfriend. He didn't know how to learn to love someone you'd been pretending to for years.

He wanted to learn all that. He wanted to love Brett the way she loved him. He wanted to be proud to show her off to all his friends and his family, to look at her like she hung the moon and to never be able to shut up about her. He wanted to be the way Jamie was with Lucy, or Antoine with Kelly.

Tyler desperately wanted that but it always seemed to far out of reach.

Brett was easy to him; sure they fought and they hated each other some days, but things were so easy, so routine between them. Their fights and break ups never lasted long, he would go out and sleep around and fill the space Brett left when they took a break and then she would come back and things would go back to normal.

Tyler would get used to having her around, having someone to sleep with at night and come home from a long road trip to, someone to take care of him after bad losses when he just wanted to say fuck the world and hide out. Brett was so good at that, she was so good at calming him down, at changing the way he saw things, at taking care of him when he needed it.

He wanted to feel for her the way any love sick fool would feel for their girlfriend but it was like he just physically couldn't do it.

So, like usual when he had decided he had spent far too long trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with him Tyler took one more look around his empty house, downed what was left in his glass and got up. He threw a jacket on, shoved his feet into a pair of shoes, and slammed the front door on his way out.

He had to get out of that house.