Last Year Was Complicated

Part of Brett really couldn't believe she was doing this. She really was a sucker for punishment.

She didn't want to be the one to crawl back first, but being that Tyler never did that, add in the fact that she really did just want to talk things out with him and that was why she found herself parking her car on the street outside of his house and getting out. She walked across the street and up the driveway before she approached the front door.

She still had a key but she wasn't surprised to find the door unlocked anyway. Tyler was never one to remember to lock the doors around here. So she let herself in, smiling when both the dogs came running to greet her, and Brett knelt down and let them give her kisses and beg for pets while their tails wagged away.

Once she had given them a sufficient amount of love and attention she straightened up and looked around, the lights were all on but she wondered if Tyler was even home. So she ventured through the foyer and into the kitchen, the fridge door was open, so Brett simply waited.

She was expecting Tyler.

That was until the door closed and she came face to face with a tall brunette, wearing nothing but a t-shirt that barely hit her butt underneath. Their eyes met and after a moment of surprise the brunette smiled and said, "Tyler's upstairs getting ready. I think he said something about not worrying about the patio or anything, that it was still clean from last time."

"I'm sorry... what?" Brett asked her, eyebrow raised. Did she seriously think she was Tyler's cleaning lady? What the hell kind of cleaning lady dresed like she was?

Completely oblivious to both the confusion and clearly Brett's appearance the brunette across from her shrugged her shoulders and took a drink of the orange juice in her glass. Briefly, Brett wondered which jug she had poured from, the one that was clearly marked 'Brett' or the one Tyler drank straight from the carton from. She guessed it didn't really matter, it wasn't like saliva was the only thing she and Tyler had shared last night.

Instead of causing a scene Brett simply turned on her heels and left the house, pulling the door closed as quietly as she could. She bit down hard on the inside of her cheek and tried to force herself to keep her emotions in check at least until she got to her car across the street.

She ran a hand through her hair, tucking one side of the short blonde locks behind her ear before she looked up from her feet and she wanted to have a complete breakdown when she saw Jamie starting up the driveway toward her. She stopped walking, pausing for a moment or two, and when he looked like he was about to say something to him she cleared her throat and walked past him without a word. If she talked she would cry, and she was sure if she started crying right now she might never stop.

She unlocked her car doors, and got inside, buckling up her seatbelt before she pulled away from the curb quickly. She took a long way home, adding nearly an extra hour of driving onto her normal route just for the distraction. If she was driving she didn't have the time to think about Tyler and what had just happened and if she didn't have the time to think about him and what happened then she wouldn't cry and the last thing she wanted was to cry. So she drove instead, and every time an upbeat song came on the radio she would blast the stereo and try to forget about what happened.

Easier said than done, though.

When she got home she found Gia and Alex in the living room watching a movie, and Brett figured she looked about as crappy as she felt because the minute they both turned to look at her Alex got up off of the couch and went to the door. As she slipped on her shoes, and Brett slipped out of hers, Alex reached out and gave her hand a gentle squeeze before she left, and Brett was left alone to face Gia, who was also now off of the couch, watching and waiting for the inevitable meltdown.

One that didn't come.

Brett simply told her quietly, "I'm going to have a nap."

Without an explanation or a rundown on what had happened, Brett turned away from her roommate and headed down the hall to her bedroom. She shrugged her jacket off and left it on the floor, along with her bag before she crawled underneath the covers on her bed, slid an arm underneath her pillow under her head and sighed.

She pulled the comforter up and over her head and wondered how long she could stay like this.

Hours later, when the sun went down, a knock on her door woke Brett up. She mumbled something incoherently and didn't pull the covers off of her head when the door opened. She knew it was Gia, even before she asked her, "You hungry? I ordered pizza. I know we're supposed to be on a strict diet and exercise thing but I figured we could cheat tonight."

"I'm not hungry." Brett mumbled.

Gia sat down on the bed next to Brett and pulled the covers down to her shoulders, and when Brett sighed Gia told her softly, "You're eating, I don't care if you're hungry. Two pieces and I'll leave you alone for the rest of the night, I promise."

"I don't really want to be alone." Brett admitted quietly and Gia moved around until she could comfortably lay down next to Brett, who let out a small laugh at her exaggerated movements.

Gia promised her, "Okay, I'll hang with you all night. I'll move the TV from my room in here, and we'll eat dinner and watch movies all night just like we used to when we first moved in together."

"You're far too good to me." Brett told her.

Gia nodded and with a grin she said, "Tell me about it."

As Gia laughed Brett rolled her eyes, but she smiled and reached out to shove Gia gently. When they were settled down Brett let out a sigh and she stared at the ceiling and asked Gia, "Why am I such an idiot?"

"Is this a trick question?" Gia asked her with a smile.

Brett tried to crack a smile but her eyes welled up with tears instead as she clarified to Gia, "I just... don't understand myself. Like, why do I keep doing this to myself? I know what's going to happen, I know how it's gonna end like it always does; with me crying over him after he completely destroys me again. So why am I such an idiot that I just keep going back to him? I keep letting him back in my life, and back in my heart, with more and more opportunities to hurt me again and I know he's going to but it's like I just... convince myself it's gonna be different this time. Like finally something will have changed. But it never does, I'm such a sucker... I'm such an idiot."

Gia sighed and reached over, wrapped her arm around Brett's shoulder before she told her, "You're not idiot honey. You love him and that's what keeps you around. Do I hate that he makes you feel like this? Yes. Do I wish that you would stop giving him chances? Yes. Do I understand why you keep giving him chances? Absolutely."

Brett turned to her in surprise, "You do?"

Gia nodded and explained, "When you love someone you don't want to just give up, throw in the towel, call it a day. You want to make things work. You want them to change because you want them to love you the way that you love them."

“I’m so tired of trying to find ways to get him to give a damn about me." Brett cried, reaching up to wipe frustrated at her cheeks. She let out a sigh, and then took a deep breath in and she asked, "How can I love him so much, this much and he just... doesn't give a fuck about me? How can he hurt me the way that he does? How can he not see the way that he hurts me?"

"Because he's an idiot." She was going to say more, Brett knew it, but their doorbell rang so Gia got up to get their dinner.

She came back a few minutes later with a pizza box and two glasses filled with pink lemonade balanced on top and a grin on her face. Gia set up the TV from her room on Brett's dresser, and then as they got settled in to watch movies all night Brett told her, "There was some bitch half naked in his kitchen when I got there."

"I hate him."

Brett sighed, and she reached up to wipe her cheeks as she stated, "I shouldn't call her a bitch. She had really nice hair."

Gia let out a laugh and told her, "Yours is nicer."

"You're the best friend in the whole world that a girl could ever ask for." Brett told her with a smile and Gia nodded her head in agreement. Brett added, "I'd be lost without you."

"I know." When she said this Brett raised her eyebrow and Gia grinned as she explained, "You'd never remember to eat and god help your clothes, you'd never have clean ones. Who would remember to buy toilet paper?"

Brett let out a small laugh and she wiped at her cheeks again, telling Gia, "I do laundry."

"I mean... sometimes." Gia said with a laugh, and Brett narrowed her eyes but smiled at her nonetheless.

Her phone buzzing on the nightstand beside her bed pulled Brett's attention away from Gia and their current conversation. She found Jamie's name displayed with a new text message, so she unlocked her phone and opened up his message, smiling gently.

Lunch Friday? Just us? Diner burgers and milkshakes?

She and Jamie had grown to love each other in a friendly sort of way because of how often he was around Tyler, and Brett could honestly say that he was like the big brother she never knew she actually wanted. He was always looking out for her, in a slightly less intense fashion than Antoine did, and Brett could honestly say that between the two of them she was probably the luckiest girl in the world to have them as friends.

She was quick to respond to him.

Sure, why not. I already screwed my diet this week, what's one more day.

- - -

Tyler was sitting on the plane on their way to their next road trip, this time it was a long one and he would be lying if he said that he remembered where they hell they were stopping first and what came after it. He would look later. Now all he cared about was his tablet, sitting on the fold down tray in front of him, open to an email that he had a whopping total of one word written so far.

Brett,

He was trying to write up some big apology email, but so far nothing was coming out. Real life wasn't a romantic comedy, and he was no Tom Hanks or Hugh Grant, hell he wasn't even Shane West in A Walk To Remember. He was sure there was nothing that could make him turn into a decent person when it came to Brett, so why was he bothering? Because he felt like apologizing was something he should do, which in itself, just proved he shouldn't even bother.

Jason took the empty seat beside him, nudged his arm, and asked him, "What are you doing?"

Tyler sighed and stated, "Trying, and failing might I add, to apologize to Brett."

"Apologize for what?" Jason asked him curiously, glancing over at the mostly empty document open and waiting on Tyler's tablet.

Tyler sighed, "I have no fucking clue."

Jason's eyebrow lifted, "You might want to figure that out."

"No... I mean I know what I'm apologizing for, I just don't know... why I'm doing it, why I'm bothering." Tyler told him honestly, letting out a sigh for good measure.

Jason asked him curiously, "What does that even mean?"

"It means... I'm apologizing for being an ass, what else is new... but I also don't know why I'm apologizing because it's not like Brett and I weren't even together when it happened." Tyler mumbled.

"What happened?" Jason asked him.

"She showed up at my house this morning, and last night's girl was still there." Tyler muttered.

"Wait... so Brett walked in on you and some chick?" Jason asked him incredulously.

Tyler sighed and shook his head, "No, she was in the kitchen, I guess they ran into each other and Brett took off. I was upstairs packing. I thought the girl left, honestly."

"Dude... dick move." Jason told him, and Tyler couldn't help but roll his eyes at him. So curiously Jason asked him, "And... you don't think you should apologize for that?"

Tyler sighed, "If I was a nice person, with a nice relationship, and a nice girlfriend yeah."

"But... you're not a nice person in a nice relationship with a nice girlfriend?" Jason asked him eyebrow lifted in questioning. Tyler rolled his eyes, realizing how stupid it sounded now that it was being repeated back to him.

"No... I mean... Brett's a nice person. I'm a dick. We all know this." Tyler stated.

"So... maybe, call me crazy, you should try to change that about yourself?" Jason asked him.

Tyler sighed and exclaimed, "We were technically not even together. We were, clearly, broken up, given the blowout we had earlier. Why would I have to assume that after we broke up I couldn't go out and have fun? Do what I want?"

"Because things are never really over and done with you and Brett, and you know that." Jason pointed out.

Tyler rolled his eyes, "Whatever. I prefer being on my own. No stress, no drama, free to do and see and fuck whoever I want without having to worry about Brett. It's much, much better this way."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night."