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Confessions From the Past

The Chapter With The Word 'Weird' Used Too Many Times


Yesterday, you turned 25.

This is a weird time of life, Dear Future Self.

The last month or so has been filled with lots of tears, lots of rain, lots of grumpy days, sleepless nights, and mood swings galore. But it’s also been filled with lots of laughter, lots of free time to heal and cope as you please, lots of nights laughing with friends, and even a little bit of songwriting too.

Like I said; weird.

Nothing quite feels right but it doesn’t necessarily feel wrong either. I guess it’s just a process. But in the process, the other day, you remembered a journal entry you wrote in Chicago. In one of those ‘500 Writing Prompt’ things, remember? And in it, you wrote that you hoped in the coming year you could work up enough courage to do two things; move back to Nashville and remove yourself from the relationship you knew was not good for you. And, today, as I type this to you in 2019, in this weird, weird, weiiiird time of life, I have accomplished both those things. YOU have accomplished both those things.

Sometimes I think we spend so much time looking ahead that we forget to look back because everyone says not to. Like the past is a bad thing. The past doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It’s the thing that got you to whatever point you’re at now and in an instant, this moment will be a thing of the past too. Sometimes maybe you’ve got to look back to realize how far you’ve come.

And you’ve come so far, Dear Future Self.

Someday, I’m sure this weird time will get a lot less weird. And someday after that (many days after that), you will meet someone wonderful. But in this in between time, I hope you just focus on you and what you want. This is the first time in four years that your time is your own, your friends are your own, and your dreams are your own. Don’t waste that. And don’t you ever, EVER give any of that away to someone again.

You’re surrounded with good people. Your head will clear up soon. Or at least that’s what Grandma keeps telling you. You’re on the right track, just keep trudging along and doing your best.

P.s. I think it’s time to start letting Music City hear some of those songs. Maybe don’t take so long working up the courage for this goal, huh?