Take What You Can Carry

A full month has gone by since the last time I was at the Compound, both Bucky and I have been insanely busy with our own work that we only see each other in the mornings and late nights when he came home. The time apart didn’t bother me as much as I thought it would be, probably because I have been so engrossed in preparing for the July fourth parade that Bucky didn’t even cross my mind half of the time.

“Okay guys, we have less than 5 days till the parade and I can tell ya, it’s not going to be pretty. So, let’s start with progress” I said, sitting on a stool, leading the employee meeting at the store before we open.

“Well, logistics are mostly checked and double checked. There’s a few stuff we need to reconfirm with the vendors but I say we can manage getting it done in a few days,” said Tom, who was put in charge of logistics with two other people.

“Can you get it done by tomorrow?”

“I’ll try” he nodded and jotted it down on his notepad.

“Okay, anyone else?” I looked around the room and Jessica raised her hand.

“Well, permit is cleared. Tom and I have been coordinating about the booth and I guess we got a pretty good one, our booth will be the one straight after the finish line”

“Awesome, what about the cupcakes?”

“We’ve come up with a few recipes and sketches of the main centerpiece, we can show you later and we have a few samples as well”

“Great! Okay, tomorrow we’re going to get some more hands to help out with the parade, we will discuss the allocation of those help tomorrow. All right, now let’s open up and the rest of you, stick to the schedule” I smiled and closed the meeting. A few of them are being put on store duty while the rest are on parade duty. I head to the back office and opened my laptop, securing the permit for the parade was the toughest one in the checklist, because the booths will be located literally on the edges of the Capitol, so getting them sorted was a huge weight lifted from our shoulders. I checked a few emails and rechecking the guest-list for any invites that might have not been sent, while simultaneously rechecking the recipes that are being used for this event.

After deliberating with the cupcake team and looking at our books to pinpoint exactly which few of our cupcakes that are our bestsellers, we decided on 6 different cupcakes flavors for us to sell at the parade. Once the cupcake issue is sorted, I was immediately pulled into another meeting about the booth decorations and the props that are going to be used.

“Ugh” I groaned and rubbed my face from all the stress. Times like these are when my anxiety levels are at an all time high. I was already pushing myself by entering the parade and now I feel like I bit more than I can chew because tomorrow, and the days after that will only get even worse.

“Hey Cath, do you still need me? If not, I’m gonna head out” Tom peeked from the doorframe with Jessica on his tail.

I sat straight and nodded. “Yeah, yeah. Go ahead; tell the rest of the guys they can go home when they’re done. I’ll close up”

“Alright, good night”

The next two hours were spent at my desk, eyes glued to my laptop. I kept looking over the books, trying to make a prediction for whatever future I have for this place. I know it’s not the best thing to do, especially when I’m incredibly anxious like this but I want to feel like I have some sort of control over what happens to this place. I just wish the outcome would be a good one.

I looked over at the clock; it reads 20:56. The shop was cleared out a while ago and nobody really came in after that so I decide to clear up my desk and close up. As usual, I took the leftover cupcakes and put them in boxes before heading out and driving up to the Compound. With the day I had today, I thought seeing Bucky earlier would be a nice treat for myself and a nice surprise for Bucky.

After going all the necessary safety procedure, I made my way to the training floor of the building. When the elevator dings, I pushed myself off the elevator wall and walk out to the spacious floor. Looking around, I didn’t see anyone in the immediate area so I went a floor below to where the lounges are. Carrying two dozen cupcakes while trying to keep your purse from sliding off your shoulder, plus maneuvering in and out an elevator isn’t an easy job, so when the elevator door opens, I immediately walk out and head to the table where Tony usually hang out.

With the boxes covering most of my vision, I didn’t notice what was happening until I heard Iron Man’s repulsors coming to life. I lowered down the boxes enough to see what was going on and gasped a little too loud when I saw Tony aiming his repulsor at Bucky, who was enraged and had his fist into ball.

Steve, who was standing by Bucky’s side, noticed that I walked into the room with my mouth gaping open, and soon everybody did.

“Bucky?” I said softly, barely above whisper.

Tony lowered his arm and shut off his repulsors while Steve quickly walked towards me with an apologetic face. “Hey Cath, not really a good time right now”

I managed to blink a few times and took my sight off Bucky and Tony, and face Steve who was standing right in front of me.

“Right, I’m so sorry. I’ll leave,” I said, putting the boxes down and quickly turning around. Fuck! What was I thinking coming here without notice, I should’ve known better.

“Wait” his voice was low, but it was enough for me to stop dead at my tracks. “Don’t leave.”

I turned around and saw Bucky walking towards me and Steve, tension slowly leaving his body, as well as the others. “I’m sorry, I just thought everybody could use a treat” I cringed apologetically.

“Don’t apologize, it’s fine” he took my hand and squeezed them. Steve walked back to where everybody was standing and staring at us.

“Yeah, don’t leave Cath. I’m pretty sure there’s enough treats to last us a whole week” Tony finally spoke; nudging his chin at the boxes of cupcakes I set on the floor.

Bucky picked up the boxes with one hand and the other resting gently on the small of my back, leading me to the conference table where Bucky and Tony had their little stand-off.

“What did we do to earn this sweet surprise?” asked Tony casually, as if minutes ago he wasn’t pointing his little laser beam at my boyfriend, ready to launch him across the room.

“Oh, I just thought you guys needed a little pick me up” I smiled nervously.

Everybody was still eyeing everybody nervously, but I can feel the hostility slowly fading away and the rest of the Avengers slowly made their way towards the table and eyeing the cupcakes. Clint and Wanda were the first ones to make their way to the first box of cupcakes, grabbing whatever they saw first. Banner, who was fidgeting and looked uneasy with the whole showdown, grabbed a double chocolate cupcake with extra chocolate filling and snuck his way out of the meeting room and into his lab, presumably. Natasha and Steve, who were still unsure about the whole situation, finally gave in and each grabbed a cupcake. Tony, on the other hand, was already on his second red velvet cupcake.

“You don’t want any?” I asked quietly to Bucky, who still has a death stare aimed at everybody.

He didn’t answer me. In fact, he kept his gaze straight and hard.

“Bucky” I tugged at his arm and his head turned down to me, his eyes soften at the sight of mine and he sighed.

“Sorry, I just need a minute” he gently let go of my grip and walked out to the balcony. I didn’t see that as an invitation so I stayed back with the rest of the group.

I grabbed a toffee nut cupcake and sat on the stools next to Steve. “So what was that all about?” I asked Steve.

He shot a look at Tony in reflex, before looking at me. “Nothing, just a friendly argument between colleagues.”

“Friendly?” I snorted. “Right, maybe I should borrow one of those laser things for when my employees are being complete shitheads.”

“I have a spare if you want to borrow. The least I could do for all the treats you’ve been giving us so graciously.” Tony said, grabbing yet another red velvet cupcake.

“How is the store doing, by the way?” Wanda asked, licking her fingers clean of the frosting.

“It’s doing well, I guess. We’re doing the July fourth parade in a few days, there’ll be booths and centerpieces and all that stuff” I smiled enthusiastically, trying to mask the insane nervousness I feel towards the whole ordeal.

“Ah shame, I was just about to ask you to make a birthday surprise for Cap here” Tony smirked which earned him a death glare from Steve.

I laughed. “Well you guys can come to the parade if you like, maybe boost some customers my way while you’re at it.” I gave Tony a playful wink.

“So we’re doing charity work now?” Natasha raised her eyebrows cockily and pushed herself off the countertop, walking towards the table.

My smile fell and I felt embarrassed of her remark. Natasha and I were never close, but never once did she show any problems or even say anything remotely insulting towards me. So you can call me surprised when she said that.

“Natasha.” warned Steve as he saw my change in expression.

“What? Are the Avengers now taking house calls for appearances? I might have to think about my hourly.”

“Well, I was thinking you can all go as a friend, but if that’s too cheesy for you then I understand. I’m sure the Black Widow has better things to do than to make appearances at a silly cupcake booth.” I gave her a snide smile.

“Ah, the Asset is back. Care to join us for an afternoon tea?” Tony said mockingly towards Bucky, who was walking towards us behind me.

“I’m heading back,” he said quietly.

“Okay, I’ll go with you.” I hopped off the stool and he nodded.

“Leave your car. We’re taking the bike” he said authoritatively and grabbed his stuff from the pile of stuff on the couch.

“Aw, leaving so soon?” Bucky quickly turned around, glaring at Tony with his teeth gritted before pulling me away and out to the parking lot.

The entire ride back home was quiet and a million things were just floating inside my head. I was trying to figure out what could possibly happen at the compound that got Bucky so worked up. When we got home, he went straight to the bathroom, while I picked up his stuff that he threw in frustration.

After a change of clothes, I went downstairs to fix myself a cup of tea. At times like these, when everybody was high-strung and everything seems to be going south, chamomile is what I do to relax and unwind. I curled up on the couch with the TV on but I wasn’t paying any attention to what was on. It might be just the anxiety, but this feeling in the pit of my stomach was making me feel like something bad was going to happen. It’s been a while since I feel like this, mainly because I just refuse to take anything that is remotely challenging in my life, but this time I just feel incredibly scared and paranoid all the time, and I can’t find a good enough excuse why.

The sound of the bedroom door slamming caused me to jump a little. Bucky stomped down the stairs and as soon as his gaze met mine, I heard a sigh escaped his lips and he made his way to where I was sitting.

“You okay?” I scooted a little bit to make room and he threw himself onto the couch.

“Mhm”

“So what happened?” I asked as casual as possible, I don’t want to make it a big deal because that tends to draw him away.

“Nothing” he huffed.

I nodded. “Okay”

Silence took over the room and that feeling in the pit of my stomach was back. I took big gulps of my tea, not caring that the heat nearly scalded my mouth, hoping to give me some sense of calmness but it was no help. I was about to get up to get a refill when he shifted his position to face me.

“Do you trust me?” he looked dead straight into my eyes, expressionless.

My eyes went wide at the question. “What?”

“Do you trust me?”

“Why are you asking me this?”

“Just answer me.” He sighed.

His eyes were still glued to mine, as if he was trying to read what I was thinking. “Of course I do, Bucky. Where is this coming from?” I gently grabbed his hand and squeezed them, but he quickly let go and turned his face the other way.

“It doesn’t matter. People will never see me the way you do,” he said quietly.

“Now, that’s not true. You’ve been doing incredibly well, everybody can see that”

“Yeah? Who? Besides you and Steve?”

I sighed. “Is this about that argument you had with Tony earlier?”

“Do you know what it’s like, doing everything you could possibly do to get better and thinking that you have, only to have that idea smacked to the ground by the people you thought who were your friends?” he looked at me with such pain in his eyes, I could almost feel his frustration. “I have been doing better. I know I have”

“You have been doing better, Bucky. You’ve been incredible.” I scooted closer to him.

“Well Tony doesn’t seem to think so. He thought I was still mentally unstable and erratic to be sent on a mission,” he laughed bitterly at the thought.

My eyes went wide at what Bucky just said. I can’t believe, out of all the people on the team, Tony would be the one doing this. I would expect this kind of treatment from Steve, being all overprotective, but not from Tony. Although, come to think of it, it is possible he was just trying to save his own ass from potential PR problems that might come when the public sees Bucky as a part of the Avengers.

“Have you tried talking to him? Try to reason with him?”

“What did you think was happening back there? I was trying to reason with him, but as soon as he saw me got off the chairs, he pointed that fucking repulsors at me.”

“What about talking to Steve? Maybe he could get through to Tony and the rest of the guys. He’s seen the stuff you’ve been through and God knows how much you’ve improved this past year.” I gave him an encouraging smile and surprisingly he took them, with an agreeing nod.

“I’ll try tomorrow.” He said softly and grabbed my hand. “I’m sorry about this, I didn’t want you to see me like that and I’m sorry for being rude to you. You don’t deserve any of that”

I smiled and scooted closer, crawling onto his lap and positioning myself so I was straddling him on the couch.

“Stop, it’s fine. I’m just glad you’re feeling better” I kissed the tip of his nose and he pulled me into a hug.

“I’m so glad I have you. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I don’t have you here with me.” He mumbled into the crook of my neck.

With the day I had today and what happened at the compound, I was expecting an explosion from Bucky or something even worse. A year ago, I wouldn’t even think about a happy ending, let alone something like this. He really has improved incredibly, and I couldn’t be happier about it.