In Dark Places

The current events were making (Y/N) uneasy. There was always something on her mind, torturing her and not letting her sleep. The only way to isolate the intrusion for a while was to keep herself busy. That’s why she took permission from General Hux to dig into the archives and battle plans. Her head was busy and that was all that made her happy, at least for a while. However, her temporary peace was going to be ruined by Ren’s egoistical needs. It wasn’t long since he had last seen her, but he felt the stinging need to talk to her. As if her presence calmed him down. Since he couldn’t find her anywhere, he had no choice, but to ask Hux.

“She asked for access to the battle plans and I granted it, I figured you wouldn’t mind. She’s probably still there. Is there something I need to know?” Hux threw a suspicious look at the knight.

“No, she’s just nowhere to be found. You’re free now.” The tall man walked away, leaving the general with the suspicious look on his face.

Kylo Ren entered the semi-lit secret room and looked around just to find his precious apprentice sitting on the floor with thousands of papers lying around her.

“What are you doing here?” The mechanical voice echoed between the tight walls of the small room and (Y/N) looked up to see the one whom she associated the familiar sound with.

“Those are some interesting aircraft blueprints. I may even come to realize one of them someday.”

“Some of them require hardly acquirable parts.”

“This has never stopped me. What are you doing here?”

“I was looking for you; Hux said I could find you down here.”

“Traitor.” She pretended to scowl. “Looking for me? Has something happened?”

“Nothing.” Ren simply replied in order to avoid giving away the real reason why he was looking for her.

“And that’s the reason I’m harbored here, because we’re walking blindfolded into the dark without a strategy plan, master Ren.” (Y/N) accented on his name and title in order to give it a note of blame.

“Because of the way events took turn we had to change our strategy. I’ve taken care of it and I assure you there is nothing irrational in the plan.”

“Good.”

“Do you have any suggestions after all the time spent here?”

“Yeah, I might have. Well, nothing in particular. But I believe I have something even better to offer. One of my…past apprentices…has ways of acquiring information from the Resistance. Well, at least two years ago he had, but I don’t see a reason for him to have moved.”

“Where is that source of yours located?” Ren asked and when the answer was on the tip of the girl’s tongue, the realization struck her like thunder. Her throat went dry and she almost lost the ability to speak. Her head hung low.

“On Tatooine.” She hardly even whispered the name of her birth planet as she lifted her teared up eyes to her master. He knew what that meant. Something else that was brought to his attention was that she didn’t even try to hide her teared up eyes. She had showed herself weak in front of him or at least he figured it looks that way in her eyes. They were slowly stripping down their feelings and emotions for the other to see.

“Then we’re going to Tatooine. Are you in condition to fly an aircraft?”

“Yes. This just…stabbed me in the back like a knife. Of course I am in condition.” (Y/N) swallowed the tears.

“What do you want to fly?” He gave her the right to choose an option and that warmed her a little from within.

“A shuttle?” She asked hopefully. It was when the Empire still existed the last time she flew one.

“I’ll order for the shuttle to be prepared for takeoff. And you better make some order in this chaos.”

“Yes, master.” Ren turned around to walk out and (Y/N) smiled mischievously behind his back. Her worry had melted, yet deep down the pain from the realization that what she might find there could break her was still lurking in her mind.

The young girl landed on the sandy terrain of Tatooine where she thought the shuttle would be safe, she knew the area like the palm of her hand.

“Alright, keep your senses sharp, master. The creatures here are sly. Look out for sand people. All in all, you might want to keep your hand on your lightsaber while we wander among them. The civils are not hostile, but strangers are not warmly welcomed, I don’t even know if we will be recognized. Now let’s hope our man hasn’t decided to move to another system.” (Y/N) explained as they walked through the civilized area.

“Rough conditions for survival. Maybe that’s how your skills have been pushed to the extreme.”

“It’s much better here than on Jakku, for example. Most of us might have been slaves, but at least we have more natural survival resources.” They entered a dead end street, at the end of which a massive tall building stood tall. “Here we are.” (Y/N) announced and knocked on the door. The metal doors separated and a tall, blond, long-haired man appeared in front of them.

“Lord Edenia! What galactic storm brought you back here in the desert? Everyone thought you were dead.” The man smiled warmly, unable to believe his eyes.

“I’m more alive than ever, as you can see. And I happen to be here because of you.” (Y/N) smiled back. The master of the knights found that to be disturbing in a way, but decided to push that thought away.

“Oh, that’s a surprise. Let’s continue the conversation inside.” They sat down and were approached by a WED Treadwell repair droid. The redhead was surprised to see a model like that still in existence; she hadn’t seen one of those for a long time. Of course, there were robot parts everywhere. “I see you have brought the master of the knights of Ren with you. It’s an honor to meet you at last, Lord Ren.”

“Master Ren, this is my best and most loyal…past apprentice – Archer. After the Empire fell and I was forced to stop teaching siths, he became one of the best droid manufacturers.” (Y/N) introduced them.

“It’s always an honor to meet an adept of the mighty Empire.” Ren said. He was feeling a little tense to meet someone from (Y/N)’s past, especially someone who seems to be pretty close to her as his senses suggested.

“I’m sure there’s quite a story behind this alliance.” Archer noted.

“Yes, there sure is, but it is a story for another time. I need help from you.” She finally got to the point.

“Help? What could I possibly be of help for to the mighty First Order, master?” The blond man smiled at (Y/N), a smile which showed respect for her authority.

“The same I needed two years ago. I need information from inside the Resistance; anything that you know could be useful.”

“Well, I’m not very deep in the things currently, besides my source has been pretty silent recently. They’re still after Skywalker, which you very well know. What I can tell you is that they recently had quite a few orders for astromech droids, some V1 series droids and also BB units. As you know, those are, before all, pilot droids, which in my opinion could suggest they’re preparing an air attack, an air fleet, if you will.” Archer explained professionally. “You should probably expect the Resistance as soon as they have you on their scanners is all I can tell you.”

“Yes, you’re probably right, Archer. Thank you, it’s useful information.” (Y/N) and Ren got up, preparing to leave.

“I wish I could have been of more help, but I’m afraid I’m too busy to be spying on the Resistance at this time.”

“You were helpful enough, Archer, thank you.” (Y/N) embraced her longtime friend warmly. “If I ever started training siths again, would you join me despite your current success?”

“Always follow the master.” Archer smiled and bowed down slightly.

“What happened to the others? Are they dead?” (Y/N) asked about her other apprentices.

“Some of them are – killed by the Resistance. The others gave in to normal life, almost erasing the Force out of their lives, as if they were ashamed to have ever been a part of it.”

“And yet you’re still here, faithful, even after the debacle of our beloved Empire.”

“The Dark Side is always calling. Come see me again someday, master Edenia.” Archer said softly, with care, with the voice of love in disguise. He had always loved his master and always will, after so much time nothing changed. Yet he knew his place and dared not say a word.

“I will.” The girl smiled warmly and looking over to Kylo Ren, she gave him a sign that they’re leaving.

“You should go visit your mother.” Archer raised his voice from behind the two distancing figures. (Y/N) stopped and sharply turned around.

“Is she alive?” She asked in disbelief, her eyes quick to tear up. The blond man only smiled as an answer. The girl was speechless. She didn’t know if it was emptiness she feels or quite the opposite – the filling of emptiness. She kept walking straight to the shuttle with fast and unsecure steps with Kylo Ren beside her. She couldn't say a word and he thought it’s better to leave her to her thoughts. Her pain was reflecting on him – he felt it all around.

They were about to get on the shuttle when (Y/N) stopped. Was she really going to leave without paying her mother a visit? Her mother – the one that stood up behind her despite her own beliefs, the one who could die any moment soon and she could never see her again. Ren felt her disturbance. He unsealed his helmet and looked at her, waiting for her incoming words. He saw that coming.

“Master Ren…could you please wait for me on board, I’ve got something to do.” Her voice was trembling, she was on the verge of tears, yet she refused to give in. Ren only nodded, showing he understands. “Thank you!” She turned around with quick steps.

“If you’re not back in two hours I’ll come looking for you.” He said from behind her, but she didn’t even care to turn around as an indication that she heard him.

(Y/N) found the secluded little house. The childhood memories immediately struck her and she gave freedom to the tears that veiled her emerald eyes. She impatiently entered the house and saw a woman lying on the bed, tired, weary. Her lips were parted, gasping for air and her vision was blurred from all the tears.

“Mother…” She hardly whispered as she knelt beside the bed. She took her hand and pressed it to her damp cheek.

“(Y/N), is that you, my beautiful girl?” A weary smile bloomed on the lips of the old woman. “Yes, it’s you, I know you by the devil curls and glimmering emeralds.” (Y/N) tried to smile but her tears chocked her again.

“That’s me, mother. I’m alive and well.”

“I know you are, my girl. The last time I saw you, you were a real warrior. You couldn’t have been simply killed. And you’ve grown up even more. You’re dressed a slight bit little more like a woman.” The mother teased and her daughter chuckled through her tears.

“I was a stormtrooper, mom. Now I’m almost one of the knights of Ren. I’m in the First Order.” She proudly stated.

“Stormtroopers? Those horrible beasts? I don’t believe it. But if you’re happy, I’m happy too and you should know, that no matter how much I disapprove of everything you do, I’m proud that you’ve reached that far.” (Y/N) knew her mother had always supported her, no matter she had always believed the Light will prevail. It hurt her knowing that her own mother had to watch her daughter turn into her worst nightmare and succumb to it.

“There’s a lot to tell, mom. I’ll come again soon for a little longer and we can talk for all that happened through those past two years.” The young girl excitedly said, a little over-excitedly. The old woman let out a laugh, a laugh which came out as tortured.

“No, no, my darling, we don’t have that time.”

“What do you mean we don’t have the time? We’ve got all the time in the world!” She naively said, in attempt to convince herself in her own words.

“I’m ill, (Y/N)…I’m dying…What was keeping me alive was you – the hope that I’ll see you one last time before I die. Now that I have seen your beautiful face I can die in peace.” Her mother caressed her cheek with a warm, motherly smile that held in it all her love for her daughter.

“No, no, no, don’t say that! Don’t give up now! We can heal you!” The girl cried out. “Coming back here on Tatooine, I thought you were dead. Now I come to you and you’re telling me that you’re dying. Don’t do this to me!” She whispered as she didn’t have the strength to find her voice. She buried her head in her mother’s neck and painfully gripped the sheets. “Don’t do this to me!” She begged again. A single tear rolled down the old woman’s face, the smile was still on her lips as she ran her fingers through her young lady’s red curls.

“I love you, my dear. And whatever happens, never give in. You’re a soldier…May the Force be with you…” The mother whispered those words before she exhaled for the last time. Her hand stopped moving, her chest stopped rising and (Y/N) froze. She looked up to her mother’s face – her eyes were closed and her lips still had a smile on them – she had died in peace.

“No…no…no! No!” Her eyes scanned the body for any indications of life, refusing to believe. “No! Mother!” She cried out loudly. Panicked, her trembling fingers checked for pulse on the neck, but with no success. “No!” She screamed at the top of her lungs, her tears falling down her cheeks like waterfalls and her hands pulling her red hair. “Mother!” She screamed one more time, but no one could hear. Each movement of hers showed the pain, the helplessness, the weakness that she felt. She looked drained from life just as much as her now dead mother. She saw the medicine her old woman had been taking, left on the nightstand. She took the bottles and threw them to the wall, breaking them to million pieces, which described perfectly the way she was feeling.

In her anger and despair, (Y/N) took her mother’s dead body and took it far away. She built a balefire and placed the body in it, setting it on fire. Watching her mother burn, she felt the anger and sorrow burning the same way inside of her, the flames reaching for the skies. Her body was shaking, her skin lost all the little color it had and her eyes drained of all life. She couldn’t even cry anymore. The girl couldn’t stay there anymore, she didn’t want to. She took her mother’s emerald necklace, which had been made to remind her of her daughter’s eyes. Now that she was dead, she took it to remind her of her mother’s love for her. Hanging it on her neck, she headed back for the space shuttle.

Time was running out and (Y/N) was making heavy and weary steps towards the ship. She could see Kylo Ren’s tall black figure on the background of the sun setting behind his back. He was unmasked and it was a beautiful sight. However, she didn’t have the strength to appreciate any of it – neither the handsomeness of the tall man waiting for her, neither the beauty of the sunset of her childhood.

“I was just about to go looking for you…” Ren started, but he felt all the anger, pain and hate gathering up in the small body of the girl. She was only steps away when he noticed the puffy, dry lips, the colorless skin, the empty eyes, the insecure steps. She had stopped crying, because she felt she couldn’t anymore, but that was until she laid her eyes upon Kylo’s. Tears started building up again and just as much as her posture looked threatening - just as hard she buried her face in his chest and dug her nails into the black cape on his shoulders. She let the tears run free. He was surprised, but despite his momentary hesitation, he wrapped his arms around her soothingly and insecurely, pressing her head to his chest as he stared at the darkening horizon. With the setting of the sun a hope died, but with the rising of the moon – a new was born.