Falling in Grace
Three
-Katherine-
I am sure they could all see the hate in my eyes as I walk back to the party thing. Fuck this is so not what I need at this moment, not to be bothered with my ex who just happens to still be in love with me.
"what was that all about, I heard yelling" Megan comes up to be handing me a beer. I rub my back of my head thinking of what to say.
" I swear one day I am going to kill him" I mutter. I could see the sympathy in her voice and I know she knows what has been going on.
"Just a little longer kiddo it will soon all be over" She reassures me as she walks away. Sure a little longer try like one more month or more with Sid Wilson. Don't get me wrong I love slipknot we all are close except me and Sid. I glance around to see my husband talking to Brian about god knows what. I decide to take a seat to relax and try to get my mind off that "Argument". Believe me I know it is just the beginning of a long line of arguments with him.
"Hey Girl" I turn my head to see Mary standing next to me. Same apologetic look, when will someone take my hint I want no sympathy. I am happily married.
"Sup Mar" I say with a simile. I know were this is going, Sid.
Everything these days turn into Sid, or my past with him or the most recent disagreement we had over the band schedule or check time. He can be very difficult but I do not want to hear it anymore. It's like the never ending fucking pity party for Katherine and it has to stop!
"More yelling" She questions.
"Can we not begin this, you are the second person to come up and ask me what the hell is going on giving me the same damn look, Mar you know I do not want this" I sigh out of desperation.
"This has to stop now more then just us are beginning to talk and it is not easy Kat. Just talk to him, apologize" She says.
By now I think my eyes will bulge out of my skull, as I almost drop my drink.
"You want me to What" I almost yell. "Fucking no not ever will I dare apologize" I spit with some anger coming. I watch as Mar shakes her head and walks away. I swear no one better come up to me tonight asking the same shit, what they should be doing is getting me drunk.
Hours pass and I am back on the bus with my husband and his band most of us are drunk and well I am not the best drunk person around.
"Wait wait you need to repeat this again for me cause I do not fucking understand" Megan yells half slurs with fits of laughter. "They, they want you to apologize" She yells again laughing as I too nod my head with fits of drunken laughter.
"Can you believe this man, me fucking apologize to fucking Sid. Excuse me I left, it is not my problem he is still heart broken. I got married" I yell as I throw my left hand up to expose my rings. My rings are by no means flashy cause Jimmy bought them when we first began dating, He saved up all the money he had for my engagement ring then and its fucking beautiful. I am not the one for flashy diamonds and he knows that.
By now the rest of the band is looking at myself and my best friend as we are in fits of laughter of what happened at the party. I look over at my husband "can you believe this" I ask. He shakes his head and gives me a kiss on the head, slowly taking away my drink.
"I think someone has had enough for tonight" he winks at me. All I could do was laugh since I so knew what he was getting at,
"Get a room" Jason yells from the couch.
I take Jimmy back to the bunks with me not intending what they think but the two of us have some serious shit to get through.
"They want me to apologize Jim" I whisper looking at him. Did I ever mention he has the most beautiful eyes.
"I know, what do you want to do" He asks. I look at him in the eyes and I know he can tell I do not want to apologize I have nothing to be sorry for, What did I do wrong? leave? Yes I did leave but what should that make a difference.
"I did nothing wrong and you know that" I poke at his chest.
He chuckles and begins walking back to the guys "get some rest babe we will finish this tomorrow" he says before kissing me. I nod and get settled into bed, no use in arguing I am under the influence of some alcohol.
Things were not always this bad between Sid and I there were some good times and I would like to think they outweigh the bad ones. I am not the one to fight with people since I go away so often due to being a service member I see no use in arguments since it could be the last thing I say. I guess when we got engaged we were kids, I needed someone through the bad times and I guess he did too. And one thing lead to another and well we wound up engaged. I do not want to know or think of what could be going through his mind on a daily basis knowing I am not there. I know tomorrow there will be some conformation, since i have to deal with slipknot tomorrow. I wish things were simpler. Yes I left unannounced and forced him to clean up the mess I made. But I was not wrong I had to follow my heart.
I fell asleep that night thinking of the past and now, I wouldn't change things If I could. I like the way my life is at the moment and nothing can stop me.
I am sure they could all see the hate in my eyes as I walk back to the party thing. Fuck this is so not what I need at this moment, not to be bothered with my ex who just happens to still be in love with me.
"what was that all about, I heard yelling" Megan comes up to be handing me a beer. I rub my back of my head thinking of what to say.
" I swear one day I am going to kill him" I mutter. I could see the sympathy in her voice and I know she knows what has been going on.
"Just a little longer kiddo it will soon all be over" She reassures me as she walks away. Sure a little longer try like one more month or more with Sid Wilson. Don't get me wrong I love slipknot we all are close except me and Sid. I glance around to see my husband talking to Brian about god knows what. I decide to take a seat to relax and try to get my mind off that "Argument". Believe me I know it is just the beginning of a long line of arguments with him.
"Hey Girl" I turn my head to see Mary standing next to me. Same apologetic look, when will someone take my hint I want no sympathy. I am happily married.
"Sup Mar" I say with a simile. I know were this is going, Sid.
Everything these days turn into Sid, or my past with him or the most recent disagreement we had over the band schedule or check time. He can be very difficult but I do not want to hear it anymore. It's like the never ending fucking pity party for Katherine and it has to stop!
"More yelling" She questions.
"Can we not begin this, you are the second person to come up and ask me what the hell is going on giving me the same damn look, Mar you know I do not want this" I sigh out of desperation.
"This has to stop now more then just us are beginning to talk and it is not easy Kat. Just talk to him, apologize" She says.
By now I think my eyes will bulge out of my skull, as I almost drop my drink.
"You want me to What" I almost yell. "Fucking no not ever will I dare apologize" I spit with some anger coming. I watch as Mar shakes her head and walks away. I swear no one better come up to me tonight asking the same shit, what they should be doing is getting me drunk.
Hours pass and I am back on the bus with my husband and his band most of us are drunk and well I am not the best drunk person around.
"Wait wait you need to repeat this again for me cause I do not fucking understand" Megan yells half slurs with fits of laughter. "They, they want you to apologize" She yells again laughing as I too nod my head with fits of drunken laughter.
"Can you believe this man, me fucking apologize to fucking Sid. Excuse me I left, it is not my problem he is still heart broken. I got married" I yell as I throw my left hand up to expose my rings. My rings are by no means flashy cause Jimmy bought them when we first began dating, He saved up all the money he had for my engagement ring then and its fucking beautiful. I am not the one for flashy diamonds and he knows that.
By now the rest of the band is looking at myself and my best friend as we are in fits of laughter of what happened at the party. I look over at my husband "can you believe this" I ask. He shakes his head and gives me a kiss on the head, slowly taking away my drink.
"I think someone has had enough for tonight" he winks at me. All I could do was laugh since I so knew what he was getting at,
"Get a room" Jason yells from the couch.
I take Jimmy back to the bunks with me not intending what they think but the two of us have some serious shit to get through.
"They want me to apologize Jim" I whisper looking at him. Did I ever mention he has the most beautiful eyes.
"I know, what do you want to do" He asks. I look at him in the eyes and I know he can tell I do not want to apologize I have nothing to be sorry for, What did I do wrong? leave? Yes I did leave but what should that make a difference.
"I did nothing wrong and you know that" I poke at his chest.
He chuckles and begins walking back to the guys "get some rest babe we will finish this tomorrow" he says before kissing me. I nod and get settled into bed, no use in arguing I am under the influence of some alcohol.
Things were not always this bad between Sid and I there were some good times and I would like to think they outweigh the bad ones. I am not the one to fight with people since I go away so often due to being a service member I see no use in arguments since it could be the last thing I say. I guess when we got engaged we were kids, I needed someone through the bad times and I guess he did too. And one thing lead to another and well we wound up engaged. I do not want to know or think of what could be going through his mind on a daily basis knowing I am not there. I know tomorrow there will be some conformation, since i have to deal with slipknot tomorrow. I wish things were simpler. Yes I left unannounced and forced him to clean up the mess I made. But I was not wrong I had to follow my heart.
I fell asleep that night thinking of the past and now, I wouldn't change things If I could. I like the way my life is at the moment and nothing can stop me.