Azure

The bed was softer then I had expected. That was the first thought to run through my mind. It didn’t lessen the pain of awkwardly landing on my handcuffed hands any less, however. Harsh metal ridges stabbed into my back and I sucked in a sharp breath. My mind didn’t have enough time to linger on the pain for too long, instead focusing on the approaching figure before me.

He was taking his time. That’s what pissed me off the most. Because he knew no matter how much I scrambled, there was nowhere for me to go. Part of me wanted to laugh it all; at the pathetic situation I found myself in. Still, I pushed myself back towards the headboard, praying to whatever god that was listening that he would stop his advances and just leave.

I blinked up at him, swallowing the building lump in my throat when I felt the bed give in under the pressure of his weight. He was watching me with a curious gaze as if I were some kind of lab rat to be examined. I turned my head to the side, eyes squeezing shut to block him out. Out of sight out of mind, right? Too bad that didn’t mean out of fucking existence. My breaths came out in erratic puffs, brain unable to decide between holding my breath and uncontrollably hyperventilating.

He placed his hands on either side of my waist and I shrunk into myself, trying to keep a fair amount of distance between us, but he pressed closer, "So pretty," he murmured in a low voice. “Why are you so scared?” His voice was questioning. I could feel his even breaths hit the skin of my neck and I shifted uncomfortably. I could feel sweat trailing down the side of my temple. It was a combination of the heated room, the winter clothes, and the proximity between us. I was silently rejoicing that my hair was covering a fair bit of my face so that he wouldn’t see the flush on my cheeks, but it seems I celebrated too soon.

Alex’s hand reached to push my hair back, hooking it behind my ear. I shyly peeked at him from beneath my lashes. When he caught my gaze, a slow smile broke out on his lips and he tilted his head slightly to get a better look at my face, “Ah- there you are,” he sang softly. He gently grabbed my chin, pulling it forward so that our noses were touching. I held my breath, unable to move. Thoughts raced across my mind. What in the world was going on?

He nudged my nose with his and I made a noise of surprise, pulling back with wide eyes. He laughed at my reaction, thumb caressing my cheek lovingly, “I told myself that I would wait until you were a bit more comfortable. I know this place isn’t the best, but I- I just can’t help myself.” Alex bit down on his lip, giving me a bashful look, “Just one.. okay?” He moved in, angling his face towards mine, “Just one,” he mumbled softly, before giving me a chaste kiss. His lips molded into mine, pressing softly. It lasted only a second, but it could have been ages for all I know. I was too shocked to move, following the way he looked almost guilty. He was the spitting image of a child that stole a cookie out of the cookie jar before dinner.

My breath came out shakily, heat rushing to my cheeks in anger. He’d actually kissed me, and I- I let him. Shaking my head at the thought, I corrected myself. No, he took it from me. I blinked away the tears that were welling up, trying to even out my breathing. It was just one kiss. Just one…

Alex had moved off the bed by the time I was able to fully calm down. The sound of rustling drew my attention to the corner table. It was then that I noticed the overwhelming scent of fries that filled the room. Oh. Food. The familiar yellow logo was crinkled from the bag being folded and unfolded. Too cups and two burgers with a side of fries was carefully placed on the table. My stomach growled at the sight. I never did get to grab anything to eat. Then again, I never got a chance to go home to grab anything in the first place.

Alex came to help me up, seeing as how it was a struggle with my hands in their locked position. Not impossible, just a struggle. I guess he figured this would be faster, “I um… I’ll take these off so you can eat.” His voice was more guarded this time when he spoke. Was he afraid that I would run off? I bit back a laugh. He wasn’t wrong… I eyed the door of the room, noticing how a chair had been placed in front of it. He must’ve done that while I was still trying to wrap my mind around the kiss. Even if I tried to get away, he made sure that I wouldn’t have enough time to. I let out a heavy sigh, both in relief and hopelessness. A click signaled to me that the handcuffs were finally off and I pulled my hands forward.

They’d become numb from being in that position for so long. I rolled my shoulders as well, trying to rid myself of the stiffness. I turned to find him looking at my expectantly. It took me a while before I realized what it was that he was expecting. I cleared my throat, lowering my head, “Thanks.” It was mumbled and harsh, but it was something. From the corner of my eye, I could see his lips pull into a frown for a second before it was replaced once again with that dazzling smile.

"Let's eat, yeah?" His hand motioned towards the food. I nodded once, waiting till he was seated before moving to sit opposite him. I shifted the chair so that I was pressed up against the wall, leaning back against it. I could feel the coolness of its surface seeping in through my coat. I had yet to take it off. I didn't want to take it off despite the heat. It was my only guard against him.

Dinner? Breakfast? Whatever it was, it was awkward. We were both silent as he ate. It took me until he began to eat to actually start. It was uncomfortable and suffocating. I didn't have much of an appetite despite my growling stomach. He seemed to be enjoying his meal though, smiling brightly every time he would glance up to catch me watching him. I would look away quickly, pretending to be distracted by the patterns on the wall or taking an interest in the food.

He waited until I was finished to grab the left over wrappers and throw them into the trash bin located next to the TV stand. I hadn't noticed it was there when we first walked in because it was hidden by the stand in its little corner.

I was still seated, examining the angry red makes left by the handcuffs. My thumb pressed into the wound and I winced in pain. That's definitely a bruise. I sighed, startling when Alex suddenly appeared before me. He really had a thing for quiet suspicious entrances, huh? He was kneeling on the floor in front me, gazing down on my wrists.

When he went to reach for them, I found myself retracting them. He only sighed in return, pursuing them further so he could take them into his hands, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for them to hurt you so much, but it was necessary." He frowned, lightly tracing over the wound. I chewed on my lip, before hesitantly opening my mouth.

"You... aren't going to put them back on, are you?" That was the first time I'd seem him so surprised. His eyes searched mine for a moment before his mouth pulled into that tight-lipped frown once again.

"I have to." He said this firmly, standing abruptly. The sound of metal had me scrambling up after him.

"You-you really don't. It's okay. It's okay. I won't do anything. You don't have to," I really shouldn't have opened mouth. I really shouldn't have.

Alex grabbed me by the shoulders, violently jerking me forward, "I can't trust you yet. You don't trust me yet."

"You said I loved you. You said! Why are you locking me up like this? I won't do anything!" Alex narrowed his eyes, his hands tightening their grip on my shoulders.

"Exactly. I said. You didn't. I can't trust you yet. Until you realize. Until you see that we're meant to be, I can't risk it. You're the one. I know it. But you're still scared. I can't let you roam free until you aren't afraid of me anymore." I was in hysterics now, shoving his hands off of me.

"Of course I'm scared! I don't know you. You're some freak who kidnapped me. You're hurting me. You're threatening me. You're keeping me here against my will. I don't want to be here! Trust you? Love you? I could never love some stranger that kidnapped me because of some fucked up delusion he had that we were supposedly meant to be!" I really shouldn't have opened my mouth, because maybe the stinging in my cheek wouldn't be there. If I had just been quiet and complacent- ah, fuck. Getting slapped really fucking hurts. I hadn’t even realized I'd been crying until he did. My head swung to the side, hair sticking to my wet cheeks.

I caught the look of horror and regret on his face before whipping around and rushing into the bathroom. Luckily, I was able to lock it shut before he could follow me in. My back hit the door before I slid down onto the floor. The bangs on the door shook my body.

"December, open the door. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. God, if you would just listen to me. If you would just realize I wouldn't have had to hurt you. Please open the door." His bangs softened to desperate knocks before eventually stopping. I heard him sigh in frustration through the door. There were more sounds of things hitting the wall and the floor before the creak of the bed signified to me that he finally stopped his rampage.

I took in deep shaky breaths, trying to quiet the sobs that wracked my body. I couldn't get enough air. Air, air, air. Eventually, my body had gotten too tired to keep crying, instead dying down to soft sniffles and hiccups here and there. My knees were pulled up to my chest, head buried in my arms. I don't remember when I fell asleep.