We Could Be Something

43: I Should Have Done Better

Swallowing a little, Adriana blinked a couple of times before she carefully stepped out of the doorway, allowing Jonathan to step into the apartment. It had been a while, since they’d run into one another before Christmas, Adriana hadn’t heard from or seen Jonathan, but she knew that she couldn’t turn him away, even if it was a tempting prospect, she knew that she had to, at the very least, hear him out. Pushing her hair off of her face, she ensured that the front door was closed before she padded through towards the living room, Jonathan following her closely.

“I am sorry for not calling, Ana” he noted softly “I should have let you know that I was coming” he added, his eyes peeking at her sheepishly.

Adriana, who’d moved to stand a little away from him, shook her head. “I don’t want to hear your excuses, Jon” she mumbled “So why don’t you say what you have to say and then get out of here?” she posed, glaring at him slightly. She knew that she had to hear him out, regardless of anything, he was still the father of her daughter, but she didn’t want him to beat around the bush, not wanting to spend any longer with him than she had to.

Jonathan offered her a small look, not missing the glare on her features, before he shook his head. “I am sorry, Ana” he mumbled.

Adriana scoffed a little. “You’ve come all the way here just for that?” she muttered.

Jonathan shook his head. “I want to talk to you, Ana. I’d like to talk about Olivia” he noted.

“I’ve tried to get you to have that conversation for months” Adriana countered, shaking her head slightly “Every scan, I called you. When she arrived, I called you, and you were nowhere to be seen. What’s changed, Jon?” she added, her blue eyes meeting his for a moment.

Jonathan pushed a hand through his hair before he let out a sigh. “I’m getting married, Ana” he noted gently.

Adriana blinked. “What?” she spluttered.

“I’m going to get married” Jonathan repeated softly “The girl you saw me with, Thalia, she and I are going to be married in a few weeks and it got me thinking. I should have handled things better, Ana” he added, his expression softening a little as he spied the slight look of upset which marked Adriana’s face. He knew that it would hurt, just a few months previous, they had been due to get married themselves, and he knew that it would sting her, even if Adriana wouldn’t admit it. The idea that he already had plans to marry someone else was bound to hurt.

Adriana blinked a couple more times, trying to wrap her head around the notion that he was getting married, before she shook her head. “You didn’t waste time, did you?” she muttered.

Jonathan scoffed. “Your boyfriend is living here, isn’t he?” he posed, his tone slightly sharp.

Adriana frowned at the tone of his voice shook her head, stifling the sharp comment which itched to fall out of her mouth. “What do you want, Jon?” she mumbled, not wanting to get into a fight.

Jonathan offered her a small look before he let out a small sigh. “I have no right to ask anything of you” he noted “After what I did, I am slightly surprised that you didn’t shut the door in my face, but I’ve been thinking and I’d like the chance to meet her” he added softly.

Adriana offered him a slightly dubious look before she let out a small sigh. “Jon…”

“I know” Jonathan interjected, sensing what she was going to say “I know what I said, Ana, but I’ve changed my mind” he noted.

“And what if you change it again?” Adriana posed “What if in six months or a year, you decide that you don’t want to be around? How do I trust you?” she added. She knew that she couldn’t just turn him away, despite all that had transpired between them, she did want him to play a role in Olivia’s life, but she wanted him to know that it wasn’t going to be easy, even if she did want him to be around, she wanted to be clear that there was no way she was simply going to let him walk in and out when he wanted.

“Ana…”

“You’ve changed your mind once” Adriana interjected, shaking her head a little.

Jonathan allowed her words to linger for a moment before he shook his head. “I wasn’t ready, Ana” he mumbled.

“Jonathan…”

“Things happened quickly” Jonathan interjected “One second we were just dating and the next, there was a wedding being planned and a baby on the way. It was a lot to handle” he added.

Adriana scoffed. “You were the one who proposed” she countered.

“I know” he quipped “But it was a mistake, Ana. I shouldn’t have done it” he added as carefully as he could.

Adriana shook her head. “You should have talked to me” she insisted.

“I should have done” Jonathan agreed “And I should have handled this whole thing better, but I can’t take it back, Ana” he added.

Adriana offered him a look before she pushed her hand back through her hair. “I’m not just going to let you walk in and out of her life, Jon” she noted after a few seconds of quiet.

Jonathan nodded his head. “I know that” he noted “But I want to be involved, Ana” he added.

Adriana offered him a slightly dubious look, still not certain if she trusted him, before she shook her head. “Olivia needs her papa” she noted softly “But I don’t want you thinking that you can just come around when you feel like it. It’s going to take some time, Jon” she added, her tone a little firmer than she was expecting. She knew that it had to happen, regardless of their relationship, Jonathan was still Olivia’s father, but she wanted to be slightly careful. It had been sudden, his change of heart had caught her off guard, and for a little while she wanted to be tentative. The last thing she wanted was for Jonathan to start causing problems
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