Finding Myself

*unedited*

The first thing that comes into my mind is that I'm hot. I move my leg and it peels away from skin. Opening my eyes I look to my left to find Tyler sleeping peacefully. This not something I thought I would be seeing again. I admire him for a minute. How his mouth is barely open. How he is lightly breathing. I throw the blankets off of me and head to his bathroom and close the door. I look through his drawers and find what I'm looking for. Shaking three tablets of ibuprofen into my hand, I pop them in my mouth and cup water into my hand from the sink drinking them down. I strip Tyler's shirt from my sticky skin along with my underwear. Turning the shower to warm, I hop in and use Tyler's body wash and shampoo to wash last night off of me.

Getting out I use his towel that was hanging over the shower door. I walk back into his room quietly and go to his drawers and start opening them. I find a shirt and throw it on along with a pair of his boxers. I throw my wet hair in a bun and drop the towel in the hamper and walk out of his room closing the door behind me. Making my way down stairs and into the kitchen I find the coffee maker and start to brew a pot. I find my clutch sitting on the counter where Tyler threw it last night. Pulling my phone out I have missed calls and texts from Bennet reminding me how pissed off I am at him. The two dogs make their way into the kitchen and rub against me. After giving each of them a pat on the head they both go and sit at the back door.

"You guys gotta go potty?" I ask walking to them and unlock and open the door. The second I do the alarm starts beeping as the dogs run past me almost knock me down. I start hitting buttons on the keypad but instead of turning off a new alarm goes off that sounds like a train horn. I cover my ears and decide to go get Tyler. Turning around I run smack into him. He reaches over me to the keypad and hits multiple buttons and it turns off. He looks down at me and I notice his bare chest and the shorts hanging low on his hips.

"I hope you weren't trying to sneak out on me again wearing my favorite pair of boxers?" He gives a little tug at the boxers then crosses his arms over his chest.

"No, your dogs needed to go to the bathroom. I was trying not to wake you up and even if I was trying to sneak out on you I wouldn't have gotten very far." I say pointing to the pad behind me. He walks away from me and to a cabinet pulling out two coffee mugs.

"Yeah I purposely did that. How do you like your coffee?" He asks pouring coffee in each mug.

"You purposely set that so you would know if I was trying to leave?" I cross my arms over my chest and let out a puff of air in annoyance.

"Well based on the first time you stayed the night, yeah. Yeah I did. I didn't want you running off on me again. Cream? Sugar?" When I don't say anything he makes his way over to me and puts both cups of coffee on the counter, one directly in front of me.

"If you would have just listened to me the first time we wouldn't even have to worry about me sneaking out again. I told you we needed to leave it with what it was but you just couldn't do that could you?" His brown eyes don't leave mine. When he doesn't say anything back I walk to the island and grab my clutch. He still doesn't say anything. I turn to walk to the front door and he moves as well.

"Lachlan wait--" I wave him off and grab my shoes from where he dropped them last night and walk out the door slamming it behind me. I pull my phone out and call for a cab.

_________________________________

I look at my phone and see another text from Tyler come through. It was added to the 9 other messages he had sent me of him apologizing. I really didn't want to hear it. I looked up and admired the sun setting over Dallas. The air was getting chillier with winter approaching. My balcony was the only place I could go. When I had gotten home yesterday morning I found out why Bennett had ditched me. He had brought home Layla. Rule number one: don't bring anyone to our place of residence. You always stay at their place. You have a better chance leaving their place than you do having them leave yours and they don't know where you live. Our first rule we made up when we moved in together. She only left last night because she had to go to work today. To my surprise when I got home from work today there she was sitting on the couch wrapped in Bennett's arms in a heated kiss.

"Hey." Bennett says coming out onto the balcony and sitting in the other chair.

"Hey loverboy." I take a sip of my tea and look over to him. He smiles and looks down.

"I'm sorry. It was kinda last minute thing that she came over tonight." He reaches over and grabs my tea out of my hand and takes a sip of it and hands it back.

"It's whatever." I say looking back over the city.

"Want to talk about it?" he asks leaning back in the chair. I think about everything that has been running through my mind the last 36 hours. I hate how much this is bothering me.

"It was the second time I had stayed at his house and it was already like he was trying to control me." I look down at my cup like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

"I don't think he was trying to control you Lachlan. I think that he was worried about you trying to leave like you did before. I mean have you ever thought about what they think when they wake up and were gone?" He grabs my tea this time setting it down on the table forcing me to look up at him.

"That is what a one night stand is Bennett! We leave in the morning! We get what we want and that's it, on to the next." I pull my sweater tighter around me.

"Did you sleep with him?" he asks with his eyebrow raised.

"Yes. Well we slept in the same bed." I pick at lint on my sleeve and wait for his answer.

"Rule number one in a one night stand is that you don't end up back in their bed. Especially if you don't have sex. So you kind of screwed yourself on that one."

"I wouldn't have been there if you would have just showed up to the bar like you were supposed to!" I yell at him and instantly feel bad about it. He nods his head and stands up walking back to the door.

"To me it sounds like he isn't looking for a one night stand. You always bitch about how you don't want to end up alone like your mom but from my view your headed in the same direction." I shoot him a surprised and hurt look. "I'm just saying Lachlan. Maybe you should look at it from more than just your perspective." He walks back inside and if my mind wasn't already running through everything is sure as fuck is now.

__________________________

I have no idea what the fuck I am doing. I don't know what compelled me to show up to this place but I'm here and I can't turn back now. I have been waiting in the front office for about twenty minutes now. The lady at the desk said he was finishing his work out and would be up here. Its been four days since I left his place. He's probably mad at me now for walking out on him and not returning his texts or phone calls. I look at the clock hanging in the office and the doors open and he walks out with two others. He throws me a glance and continues walking out the door with the two men. I stand up and follow them out. When they get to Tyler's Jeep they wave him off and continue walking to their vehicles. He throws his bag into his back seat and closes the door as I walk up to him. He crosses his arms and leans against his car. I know I'm fidgeting not knowing how to start what I have to say. I open my mouth to talk but he beats me to it.

"You know when you told me that we should leave what happened alone when you left the first time?" I nod my head wondering where he is going with this. "If I had listened to you, what would have happened at the bar the other night? You could barely get down the stairs let alone been able to make your way home." I furrowed my eyebrows at his question. I didn't know how to answer that. He made a valid point, what would I have done?

"I'm glad you were there because I honestly don't know. Bennett was supposed to meet me there after the game and if he would have been there he would have helped me." I said looking at my feet, fidgeting some more.

"That's who you gave the tickets to?" He asked. "Is he your brother or something? I noticed he had a girl with him." He uncrossed his arms and removed his hat pushed his hair back and put the hat back on.

"Pretty much. I'm not here to talk about Saturday night. I'm here to talk about Sunday." I leaned up against his car like him. "I want to apologize for how I left things. I shouldn't have just ran out like I did." He didn't say anything, he just looked at me with a blank face. "Are you not going to say anything?"

"I was waiting for you to apologize." The smirk of his slowly appeared on his face making me grin.

"I'm sorry." I said watching him smile with satisfaction. I pushed his shoulder and we both laughed.

"I still can't believe you passed up tickets to the home opener. You missed a good game." He was right on that one. Bennett had told me all about how Dallas had won 4-0. Tyler slowly moved towards me closing the distance between our bodies. He placed a piece of my hair behind my ear and then twirled the piece between his fingers.

"I heard it was a good game. I will have to catch another game this year and you will just have to make it as good." He smiled down at me and stopped playing with my hair, he reached into his back pocket and pulled out a white envelope.

"How about tomorrow night?" He raised the envelope in the air while getting closer to me.

"Did you get those for someone else or were you just that cocky to think I couldn't stay away from you?" I grabbed the envelope out of his hand and pushed it into my purse.

"No I was going to send them to you tomorrow with more flowers." We both smiled at each other and then Tyler closed the distance between us and placed a sweet kiss to my lips, barley touching his to mine. I pulled away first and looked away from the confused look on his face.

"I will see you tomorrow I guess. Since your so persistent." I say and smile up at him.

"I know what I want." He opened the door to his Jeep and got in, rolling his window down. "I usually get what I want too." He smirked at me and started the Jeep. I shake my head at him and walk back to my vehicle. Getting in and following him out of the parking lot a million thoughts are going through my mind. He gets what he wants? Why is he so hell bent about getting me? What is so special about me? Am I ready to do the whole dating thing? No, definitely not. I will not give in that easy. Besides he is like me, i don't think he has ever been in a relationship. Why does he want to start now?

_____________________________________

I had been in my seat for about twenty minutes watching the boys warm up on the ice. The seat next to me sat empty. I didn't even bother asking Bennett to come with me. He was already hanging out with Layla, again. She had been over to our place everyday this week. I couldn't escape the two of them. I had to stay in my room and even then I could still her giggling and them talking and doing god knows what. A puck hitting the glass in front of me brings my attention back to the ice. Tyler is standing a few feet away and nods his head towards the door where they exit the ice. I push my way through the people standing there trying to get a fist bump from the players and finally get to the rail where I squat to be level with Tyler.

"Wait for me by my car after the game." It was a statement not a question. We have to work on the asking and not demanding. I nod my head at him and reach my hand through the fence and smack the top of his helmet.

"Go get em tiger." He smiles at me and then continues walking, fist bumping fans as he went. I return back to my seat and wait for the game to start. The boys finally make their way back onto the ice twenty minutes later. When all the fans calm down and start to sit I notice someone standing beside. I look over at him and realize it was Ryan, one of my coworkers from a different branch.

"Hey what are you doing here?" I half yell at him and give him a hug.

"My family has season tickets and I saw you sitting by yourself. Is this seat taken?" He asks pointing at it. I shake my head and we both sit. I take a gulp of my beer and look up to see Tyler skating around the net towards me. Instead of making eye contact with me I see him look over towards Ryan. He skates towards the middle of the ice for the puck drop. "How did you get such good seats? These are front row tickets they have to be expensive."

"It is a perk of being friends with one of the players." I say taking another sip of my beer and watch as the puck is dropped and the stars win it.

"Your friends with one of the players? Who?" I was about to answer when the puck hit the glass again in front of us making me jump and spill some of my beer in my lap. I look up right as Tyler skates by.

"The jackass that just made me spill beer in my lap." I say wiping away the beer on my pants. My gray shirt was soaked towards the hem.

"Seguin? I would let him spill whatever he wanted in my lap." Ryan says taking a sip of his beer.

"You are gross you know that?" I ask him not being able to hide my giggle. Ryan sat next to me the entire game and Tyler did what I had said. He made it a really good game. He scored two goals throughout and had a couple of assists. Definitely a good points night for him, but for some reason he looked and acted like the Stars were losing. I had a feeling it had something to do with the fact that Ryan was sitting next to me.

When the game was over Ryan offered me to walk me to my car. I told him I was going to the players lot and said he wasn't going to let me walk alone. By the time we got out of the arena, the game had been over for a good thirty minutes. We had both had a few beers and were very giggly walking towards the players lot. By the time we made it to Tyler's Jeep we could barely breathe because we both were laughing so hard at a joke Ryan had made. We had finally started to calm down when the first couple of players made their way out. Jamie and Tyler were the second group to walk out, both carrying their bags and both in really nice suits. Jamie gave me a nod and then kept on walking as Tyler came to a stop in front of us. Ryan was still looking at Jamie walking to notice Tyler standing in front of us.

"Oh my gosh Lach, can you imagine what he looks like naked?" he turned his head towards me and was caught off gaurd by Tyler who was looking at him like he couldn't believe what he just said.

"Tyler this is Ryan one of my coworkers and clearly a Jamie fan." Ryan blushed and held his hand out to Tyler. Tyler reluctantly shook it.

"Okay Lach if your good I'm going to go. I have some personal business to take care of." He leaned in and gave me a hug. "I have to go wank off now if you didn't get that." He whispered in my ear for only me to hear. I pushed him away from me and waved him off as he walked away.

"So he's gay?" Tyler asked still holding his bag over his shoulder with his eyebrows raised.

"What gave that away?" I asked leaning my head to the side giving Tyler a questioning look. He smirked and threw his bag in the backseat of his Jeep opened the passenger door for me.

"I thought I had some competition there for a second." Before I could answer he had closed the door and was walking around the vehicle to the driver side and getting in. "Where is your car, I will drive you to it." He asked buckling himself in.

"I didn't drive. I knew I would be drinking so I took a cab." He smiled and leaned over the console, grabbing my neck and bringing our lips together it a heated kiss.

"Perfect" He whispered when we finally pulled apart from each other. He settled back into the driver seat and pulled out of the parking lot. "Some of the boys are getting together at a bar did you want to go?" He asked as we sat at a red light.

"Is that even a question?" I asked him and he laughed.

Parking the car in the side lot of the bar Tyler got out and met me at my door. I adjusted my shirt noticing the giant stain at the hem from where I spilt my beer earlier. I let out a long sigh pulling it out to see out noticeable it was. Very, it was very noticeable. I glared at Tyler who was fixing his hat. He gave me a questionable look then looked down and noticed the giant stain. Realization came across his face.

"Did I do that?" He asked pointing at my shirt.

"Yes you did you jackass. I can't go in there like this." I say huffing and crossing my arms.

"Here-" Tyler moved me out of the way and opened the back door and started going through his bag. He pulled out a black shirt and smelt it then handed it to me. "Its clean I promise. It might be a little big on you though. I grabbed the shirt from his hands and stripped out of mine. Tyler's eyes grew big when he noticed I was standing in the parking lot of a busy bar with only a bra on. He grabbed me and pushed me in between him and the open door shielding me from anybody in the parking lot. "What the fuck Lachlan!" I shrugged and smirked at him as I pulled his shirt over my head. He was right it was big on me. I tucked the front hem into my pants making it look somewhat decent. I noticed the front had the Dallas Stars logo on it.

"What is on the back of this shirt Seguin?" I asked cocking an eyebrow at him. He didn't answer just pulled me towards him and closed the car door. He grabbed my hand and led me towards the bar entrance. This was the same bar I was at last weekend when Tyler helped me home. The bouncer let us in right away. The place was packed. The tabled had been moved from the lower level for the dance floor. Tyler, who was still holding my hand, pulled me towards the stairs where the gaurd was standing. Tyler gave him a nod and he opened the rope and up we went. Walking to the back of the area was a big table filled with guys in nice suits. Most of them had thrown there jackets off and had there ties loosely hanging around their necks. Tyler ushered me in next to Jamie before squeezing in next to me. He introduced the guys one by one and then one of them piped up that they didn't need an intro to me because I was all Tyler had talked about for a week now which made Tyler turn a scarlet red.

"I see you are already sporting the name." Jamie said causing all the guys at the table to turn their heads and look at me. I gave Tyler a glare causing everyone to laugh. Tyler raised his hand in the air in surrender.

"It was either my name or your stained shirt." He said laughing. I scooted towards him until he was on the edge and only option was to stand up. Getting out of the booth I started walking away from the table. Before I could get to far Tyler grabbed my hand pulling me back into him. I looked at the table full of guys watching us then back up to Tyler. "I'm sorry. Don't leave." He said just loud enough that I could barely hear it over the music playing.

"I'm just going to get us drinks." I smiled at him and pulled my hand out of his and turned back to the table where the guys all looked away acting like they weren't eavesdropping. "Does anyone need a refill?" I asked and some of them spoke up telling me what they wanted. I turned back to Tyler. "And you?" I asked him.

"Bud heavy." He said and I turned to go to the bar. A hand grabbed mine again and pulled me back. I rolled my eyes at Tyler and waited for him to say something. Instead he pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and handed me his card and nodded towards the bar. Getting everything everyone wanted plus a beer for me I handed over my card from my clutch and threw Tyler's into my wallet. I grabbed the tray and walked back towards the table and gave everyone what they wanted before sitting at the end of the booth and watched the dance floor.

We had been at the bar for about an hour now. The boys were definitely celebrating their win tonight. They were all feeling something. Tyler's eyes were red and glossed over a clear sign he was on his way to being drunk. I had only had two beers the entire time. I wasn't in much of a mood to drink. I spent most of my time watching the dance floor. I watched people come and go. I laughed at the girls who were clearly trying to hard for attention. Tyler's hand rested on my thigh. Every now and then he would give it a squeeze and then circle his fingers. It was weird sitting here with him instead of being down on the dance floor drunk letting myself go. As I watched I noticed two heads of familiar hair. I stood up abruptly and took off for the stairs. I could hear Tyler yelling my name behind me. When I got to them on the dance floor neither of them noticed me. I walked up behind Bennett and pinched his ass which caused him to jump and spin him and Layla around to face me.

"Oi! What the fuck Lachlan that hurt!" He said reaching behind him and rubbing his ass. Layla smiled at me and gave me a hug yelling at me that it was good to see me. It was weird but I played nice about it and hugged her back. Bennett still had a pissed off look on his face. I smiled at him and nudged him and a small smile appeared on his face. "What are you doing here?" He asked grabbing Layla's hand and guiding us towards the bar where he ordered us drinks.

"I am actually here with Tyler." I say taking a gulp of the beer. The look he gave me was full of shock and confusion. I pointed up to the VIP area to find Tyler and Jamie leaning on the rail. Jamie was watching the dance floor and Tyler was looking at me. I looked back to Bennett to see the shocked looked still on his face. "Do you want to go meet him?