Falling Stars

Julian had never felt so dead inside. Not even when his father died. When his father died, he had Calli. When he was forced to be king, Calli was there. And now, in on the most terrifying day of his life, he had no one. Everyone seemed to sense that Julian wasn't himself. Even Roark, as he got Julian dressed, was surprisingly gentle and quiet. He brushed Julian's hair back and stepped back, a low growl caught in the back of his throat. Julian ignored it and stared at himself in the mirror. He didn't recognize himself. He looked like a king. A pretty suicidal king, at that.

"Are people supposed to respect me?" he smirked.

"Life... Hard...," Roark growled.

"That was surprisingly comforting, Roark," Julian said. "Thanks, friend."

"...friend?"

"We're not friends either, huh?" Julian grimaced. "That's okay. I'm used to it at this point."

"We're friends!" Roark roared, stomping his foot. "Have a good wedding!"

"Thanks."

Roark stomped out of the room, and Julian felt a sudden rush of loneliness. He even missed Roark. That's how lonely he was. He just stood there and stared at himself in the mirror for a little while. Calli was right about Julian growing up in the last few months. He looked more grown up. He just never thought he'd be such a sad grown up.

He eventually turned on his heel and started on his way to the hall the wedding was taking place in. Several of his advisors followed him, fixing up his appearance and telling him how the wedding was going to go. Julian tuned them out. He hadn’t been part of the wedding planning at all. Cecily and the council had taken over that completely, and all Julian knew was that the theme colors were “white, gold, and baby pink”. Whatever that meant.

Julian entered the hall first. As he walked down the aisle, he felt all the guests’ eyes on him. At the altar, he turned to look at the guests, holding back a grimace. Other than Cecily’s family and the council, Julian barely knew anyone. He met some of them in the past, but they didn’t like him enough to talk to him. He had some distant cousins present, but he’d never even seen half of them before. Lorian was the only one Julian knew well, and it was at least a little comforting to see him there. Especially when Calli was nowhere to be found.

Julian jumped slightly in surprise when the orchestra started playing louder, his gaze settling on the doors ahead as they opened to reveal the bride. Cecily and her father walked down the aisle, and she was beaming so bright at Julian, he thought he might go blind. She really was a beautiful bride. Her dress was a large ball gown that was covered in glittering gems, which decorated her hair as well. Julian would’ve been impressed and happy for her, had she been walking down the aisle to someone else. But in place of the groom, he felt so out of place.

Cecily’s father handed her off to Julian, and she squealed softly in excitement as she took her place next to Julian at the altar. She looked up at him, grinning, and he offered her a weak half smile back.

“You look so handsome,” she whispered.

“Uh, thank you,” he whispered back. “Um, you too.”

“You’re not wearing the watch I gave you.”

“Sh, it’s starting.”

She went silent and handed her bouquet to her bridesmaid, taking Julian’s hands. She was squeezing his hands so hard, he thought they might break. The officiant droned on and on for a long time, and Julian found that he couldn’t listen anymore. It became muffled, as if he were underwater. The tone changed. Cecily was speaking now. Still, Julian didn’t care to listen. His eyes wandered back to the wedding guests, scanning each and every one.

His eyes landed back on Lorian, just then noticing the two people sitting next to him. Julian had met Lorian’s family quite a few times, but Lorian liked to keep his personal life private. His wife was absolutely beautiful, and practically radiated kindness. The way he looked at her was like he’d never wanted anything more in life. But then Lorian would look at the one-year-old sitting in his wife’s lap, and Julian saw more love than he even knew a person could have. Lorian treasured his wife and child. And if Julian was going to get married, that’s the way he wanted it to be.

“Your highness,” the officiant whispered.

Cecily squeezed Julian’s hands, and he snapped back to attention. She was staring at him, a trace of concern on her face. Julian looked from her to the officiant, subtly asking the old man for a little help.

“Your vows, your highness,” the officiant hinted.

“Vows,” Julian repeated. “Right. Um…”

He looked back at the guests, seeing a look of horror on the council’s face. Lorian was grimacing too, but Julian wasn’t sure it was for the same reason as everyone else. He then turned his attention back to Cecily, who looked a little bit mortified with the overly long pause.

“My vows,” Julian said again, taking a deep breath. “I… uh… forgot to write them. I have to go.”

Everyone gasped as he dropped Cecily’s hands and started down the steps. They were speechless. Cecily was on the verge of passing out. Her father looked like he wanted to wring Julian’s neck. But at the end of the day, Julian was king, and no one got to say anything to him. He unbuttoned the thick cape and dropped it in the middle of the aisle, followed by the heavy sword he had to carry at his side. He thought about dropping the crown too, but that would’ve been disrespectful to his father. He felt like a complete zombie as he walked out of there.

He only wanted to talk to one person.