Sunday Mornings

James found Riley with ease in the family lounge, she was sitting on the couch with Noah beside her and Peyton on her lap and Isla tucked into one arm. All three kids were asleep, and it looked like Riley was fast approaching joining them, even while keeping up a conversation with Kelly next to her. James sat down on the arm of the couch and reached across all of the occupants to ruffle the hair of Carson, the eight year old she and Craig were fostering currently.

He looked up from his book at James, smiled and then went back to reading, and the motion of James straightening up caused Riley to whip her head over to him, hand on her chest, and ask, "How long have you been there?"

He and Kelly laughed, and the noise woke Noah who rubbed his eyes, looked at Riley and burst into tears. Riley sighed and rubbed his back gently, and she told him, "Buddy we talked about this."

He shook his head and continued to cry and James raised his eyebrow at Riley, "Rough day?"

She nodded her head and leaned over to kiss the top of Noah's head before she told James, "He's in one of those 'I'm never going to sleep' moods lately and it's like every little thing is the end of his world. He cried over breaking his banana when we opened it this morning."

"So... really whoever coined 'terrible twos' just hadn't reached three yet?" James asked her with a smile and Riley let out a laugh as she nodded her head. James reached out and smoothed Noah's hair out, and the three year old looked up at him, still crying, hiccuping and everything. So James told him, "Your dad will be out soon."

This made him cry even more, and when James and Kelly looked over at Riley with raised eyebrows she told them, "Noah saw Shea's fight the other night, I thought he was sleeping but he snuck downstairs to see the end of the game and he caught the whole fight... he won't even go near him now."

Kelly reached out and picked Noah up, punking him onto her lap as she whispered with him in an attempt to get him to stop crying. That was when James glanced down at Peyton, still fast asleep even through all of that ruckus and he asked Riley, "Was she a little tyrant tonight?"

Riley smiled over at him as he reached out and brushed Peyton's brown hair from her forehead, and she assured him, "She was a perfect angel. She even ate all of her snack during the first intermission."

James' brow lifted, "Oh yeah?"

"Just some fruit, strawberries and mango's mostly." Riley informed him.

James couldn't help but ask her, "How do you get her to eat those? I can't for the life of me get her to eat fruit. You'd think I was trying to poison her with the reaction I get. She won't even touch it unless I mash it up for her."

Riley reached out and patted his leg, joking, "It's a gift."

He rolled his eyes and when his cell phone beeped from his pocket he knew it was Paul letting him know they were ready whenever he was. So James announced, "I gotta go. Thanks for watching her tonight."

He got up from the couch arm and carefully picked Peyton up from Riley's lap and he held his breath when she moved, her eyes opening and she looked around before up at him with a big grin. He smiled, kissing the top of her head before Riley asked him, "You sure you don't want us to come tonight?"

He had decided early that morning that he needed to buck up and deal with life, and that included not having his captain and his wife coming to dinner tonight to be the buffer if needed.

James nodded his head and leaned down to hug Riley quickly, and he ruffled Noah's hair before he left the family room in search for where Paul and Rachel would be waiting. Peyton held onto the lapel of his suit jacket and babbled away the whole walk to the doors of the players parking lot and when they approached Paul and Rachel, before even greeting them he made sure to warn them, "If she screams or cries or both don't take it personally; she's a gremlin lately and new people freak her out."

Of course they weren't exactly new, they had met Peyton at Quinn's funeral but that was months ago and James knew Peyton wouldn't know them from a perfect stranger. Her life and the people in it were very consistent, and James was always nervous about introducing new people for that reason.

It was Rachel who spoke first, once James came to a stop beside her, she looked directly at Peyton and she reached out to tickle her stomach as she said, "Hi Peyton."

James was surprised when Peyton giggled, instead of letting out that god awful banshee cry he was so used to lately. She bounced against his hip as best as she could and even reached out for Rachel's fingers when she went to tickle her again.

And then she looked up at Paul, who smiled down at her and opened his mouth to talk and James knew it was coming long before the screech ever left her mouth. She had that look on her face. She wailed, and screeched and then hid her face against James' chest, so Paul stepped out of her view and Rachel laughed and told Peyton, "Yeah, sometimes I scream when I see him too."

James laughed, Paul rolled his eyes and the four them left the arena for the SUV parked outside. The ride to the house was quiet, mostly Rachel in the backseat entertaining Peyton. James let Rachel bring Peyton into the house, Paul finally got attention from Nixon when he walked in the house but Snoop just barked at him.

James couldn't help but joke, "It's just not your day today."

Paul laughed and nodded his head in agreement as James calmed both dogs down before they both dropped onto the couch. That was when Rachel came up from behind the couch and put Peyton on Paul's lap and he asked her, "You sure you should be doing that? I don't think we all want our ears blown out again."

Rachel rolled her eyes but smiled and told him, "We had girl talk and she decided you weren't so bad."

Paul looked over at Peyton, who was looking up at him with wide, curious eyes, and he asked, "Yeah?"

"No no no no." Peyton said, shaking her head and Paul let out a laugh as Rachel grinned and headed into the kitchen.

James told him, "We are working on the vocabulary. She knows quite a few words, never shuts up but that one is her favorite."

"So she's a mini Quinn then." Paul commented and James nodded his head with a small smile on his face.

A few seconds of silence later James looked over at Paul, watching him entertain Peyton, and he told him, his cheeks flushed scarlet, "I'm sorry I haven't really... spoken to you much."

Paul turned to him, and offered him a small smile as he said, "Don't worry about it man. But just so you know, we're sorry too. We just figured you'd want some space after Quinn... we figured the last thing you'd want was us checking in on you all the time to remind you of all of this and then all of a sudden it had been months and I was unsure of how to start a conversation I guess."

James told him, "I actually really appreciate you guys kind of stepping back. There was just so much going on and so many people calling and texting and showing up... honestly I appreciated the concern and the gesture from everyone but it was pretty unbearable."

Paul nodded, he understood that. Curiously he asked him, "How was the rest of your summer? You two do anything eventful?"

James had been the first to get the cup, for obvious reasons, and then after that they had spent a few weeks just waiting for the inevitable. Then there had been all of the phone calls that he and his family had made so that Quinn's sisters didn't have to, and then there had been the funeral and the week after that where he had done nothing but lock himself in the guest room with multiple bottles of alcohol. That was when his mother had finally told him it was time to get up off of his ass and come home, see his family and get away from Nashville and everything that came with it.

He told Paul, "Short, but also long. It was just a whole lot of hanging around with my family."

He didn't tell Paul about how for almost three full weeks after Quinn had died he couldn't even be in the same room as Peyton much less hold her, that his mother slept in the nursery on a blow up mattress and that when he went home to Whitby he hadn't even bothered going to his own home but rather he slept in what had once been his childhood bedroom for weeks. He didn't talk about how Steven had been the only one to decide early on that enough was enough and if people kept leaving him to his own devices that he would never be able to recover so every morning Steven showed up and practically dragged James out of bed and forced him to do at least one thing a day whether it was grocery shopping, or going to the gym or going out for lunch. James certainly didn't tell Paul any of that. It wasn't his problem.

"What about yours?" James asked him. Quinn and James gone back to Pittsburgh the summer after the trade for Paul and Rachel's wedding but he could honestly say that was the last time he had seen either of them until the funeral earlier that summer.

Paul shrugged his shoulders, "Same as usual; spread our time out between Pittsburgh and home."

James asked him out of curiosity, "You guys ever talk about having one those?"

Paul looked down at Peyton and smiled, "We've talked, maybe someday soon."

James joked, "Don't do it man, they ruin your life."

With that he got up from the couch and headed into the kitchen to see what Rachel was up to, she was cooking. She looked over at him from in front of the stove and she smiled, telling him, "I figured you might like a home cooked meal instead of restaurant food."

James smiled gently and he told her, "We eat a lot of frozen meals from my teammates actually, so thanks. This smells amazing."

She looked over at her and James knew the question was coming before she even asked him, "How are you? Are you doing okay?"

"I'm..." He paused when she shot him a look that reminded him of the one his mother gave him when she knew he was lying, so he admitted softly to her, "Working on it."

Rachel reached out and patted his forearm and she told him, "You look a lot better now than you did last time I saw you."

James let out a laugh and told her, "Yeah, I'm not drunk."

Rachel rolled her eyes and she informed him, "You look... dare I say it, happier."

James shrugged his shoulders, "Some days I am really happy. Some days it's like... I don't even think of her. Is it selfish of me to say that those are my favorite days?"

"Not at all. I think I would feel the same." Rachel told him. She then smiled and said, "I was thinking the other day, about how far you've come and I know you probably don't want to hear it but I'm so proud of you."

James rolled his eyes, "Stop it."

She laughed at his attempt at a joke, he wasn't sure if she meant it or she just laughed because she thought maybe right now his ego needed it but he appreciated it nonetheless.

Rachel went on to tell him, "I'm serious. I look at you now; you're a dad, and a damn good one, and you're figuring this whole thing out and you're not letting it completely derail your life even though no one would fault you for that... and then I think of who you used to be and I'm just... really proud of you for changing and becoming who you are."

"I didn't have anything to do with my sudden change from grade a asshole to this you know." James told her, adding in, "It was all Quinn."

Rachel shook her head, "You had it in you all along, you just needed someone to show you that you wanted to be this person."

James didn't say anything right away, in fact he simply looked down at his feet and Rachel went back to whatever she had been doing when he had come into the kitchen in the first place. They stood in silence for a few minutes until Peyton's wail could be heard getting louder and louder and then Paul walked into the kitchen with Peyton's back against his chest, holding her up under her arms with a look of panic on his face.

Rachel stifled a laugh when he told James, "She was fine just hanging out beside me on the couch and then Snoop came over and knocked her back into the couch."

James let out a laugh and he reached out, taking Peyton from Paul's hands, he held her against his chest and bounced up and down slightly where he was standing and he looked at Peyton as she looked up at him, still crying and he told her, "You tell Snoop to stop being mean to you."

He flipped her around so that her back was against his chest, holding onto her with one forearm under her butt and the other across her stomach as Snoop came over to them at the sound of his name.

James knelt down on the kitchen floor, putting Peyton and Snoop at the same level as he told the dog, "Apologize."

Snoop stuck his head out slowly, and then he ran his tongue up the side of Peyton's face which made the little girl stop crying and let out a giggle. She reached out and then looked up at James, who nodded and then she carefully reached out to pet Snoops head with her little hands so gently that it made James smile.

James looked over at Rachel, who was watching them in amusement and told her, "I am the dog whisperer."

Rachel and Paul both burst into laughter, and Paul told James, "Good to know some things never change; you're still an idiot."