Sunday Mornings
Sundown, yellow moon, I replay the past, I know every scene by heart
"Quinn?" James called out as he knocked on the bathroom door. He had been sitting on the floor outside of the door for hours, probably close to three if he counted, waiting for Quinn. She had locked herself in the bathroom with a pair of scissors and hair clippers, but he had yet to hear them turn on. She didn't answer him so he knocked once more and he spoke through the door, "Do you... do you want some help?"
He wasn't surprised when he didn't get a verbal response, but he was surprised when he heard the lock click on the door knob. The door didn't open, so he turned the knob himself and pushed the door open but he stayed where he was for a moment. Quinn was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, elbows on her knees, chin in one palm, and on the counter by the sink, plugged into the wall, was the set of hair clippers. On the floor by her feet was what she had cut off of her hair on her own, and James had to admit that having never seen her with short hair it was a little strange.
He didn't say a word, he knew Quinn wouldn't be in a talking mood, so instead he picked up the hair clippers and turned them on, and he stood over her as he ran the blade up the back of her head. He let the hair fall to the floor before he did his best to section off what was still left on her head so that he could work in sections, as efficiently as possible but also as quickly as possible, for Quinn's sake.
Quinn didn't speak to him at all, she moved only when he required her to, and even when James turned the clippers off she didn't say a word. He ran a towel over her head and the back of her neck, trying to wipe away the little pieces of hair from her skin. He tossed the towel toward the sink, and he watched as Quinn glanced past him and into the mirror and she let out a sigh.
He sat down on the tub edge next to her, wrapped both of his arms around her as he pulled her into him, and he rested his forehead on the side of her neck for just a moment. When he pulled back from her, he tried his best not to let his emotions take over, so he took a second to blink away the tears he knew were coming, and he rolled his eyes when Quinn stated, "This is not a good look for me."
"I think you look great." He told her, and she narrowed her eyes at him.
"I don't, but thanks for trying." Quinn mumbled.
James shook his head at her and he told her, "You are... hands down the most bad ass, hottest GI Jane I've ever seen. Demi Moore doesn't hold a candle to you even on a bad day."
She tried to laugh, but it came out more as a cry, and she told him, "You're something else."
"Back at you." He told her, pulling her back into him to squeeze her tightly, before he told her, "Go change... gather yourself, whatnot. I'll heat up the pizza, and we can just hang out and watch a movie."
"Pizza?" She asked him with a raised eyebrow.
He nodded and told her, "Called in a favor with one of the guys. Geno dropped it off like an hour ago. I didn't want to... bother you I guess, I thought if I ordered it myself the delivery guy showing up might... scare you, make you not go through with this, so I had him leave it on the porch and text me when he left."
This time her eyes welled up with tears, and she asked him, "Have I told you how much I love you lately?"
James grinned over at her, "No, you never tell me that."
She rolled her eyes but laughed, and she said, "I hate you."
"That's more like it." James said with a laugh, and Quinn reached out and swatted his chest. When she went to grab the towel from the sink James grabbed her hands and he told her, "I got all this. You go... do what you need to do. If you need to spend half an hour in your room crying without me there then so be it, but just... do whatever it is you need to do to deal right now."
So Quinn leaned up and kissed his lips softly, and she placed her hands on his chest as she said, "Thank you."
He nodded, and he stopped her from leaving long enough to kiss the top of her now buzz cut head, before he allowed her to leave the room. James waited until he heard her feet on the stairs before he left the bathroom, and went to heat the oven up before coming back to the bathroom with a broom.
He swept up the hair first, both the long pieces from Quinn's original cut, and then the shorter pieces from the razor, meticulously making sure to get each and every piece from the floor. He threw it in the trash can underneath the sink, put the clippers back in their case with the scissors and stuffed it in the bottom drawer of the counter, before he threw the towel in the laundry basket. He tied off the garbage bag and pulled it out of the metal can, before he headed out back with it to throw it directly in the trash. Quinn didn't need to have to see it every time she went in there until someone else threw it out.
When he came back he was surprised to find Quinn sitting on the couch in one of his sweaters and a pair of sweat pants, with a box of tissues in her lap. Their eyes met, she smiled gently, and told him, "I'm hungry."
He let out a laugh, "You're so demanding."
Quinn smiled over at him again, and she told him, "You should be used to it by now."
"I am." He told her, and he bowed, literally bowed, as he told her, "I'll be right back with your pizza ma'am."
She called out after him, "I am so not a ma'am!"
She listened to him laugh as he disappeared around the corner and into the kitchen, and she got up and yanked the pull out mattress out of the couch. She was already exhausted, and she knew she likely would be far too exhausted to make it up the stairs and to her bedroom so this was the best option. After she had nearly fallen down the stairs three weeks previous Jess and Taya had demanded that unless someone was home to help her up and down the stairs she was to sleep down here, and Quinn was trying not to hate it because she understood where they were coming from.
When James came back into the living room with a tray of food to find Quinn curled up on the pull out couch, propped up by pillows and wrapped up in blankets he let out a laugh. He told her, "I could have done that for you."
She wanted to roll her eyes, or throw a pillow at him, or make some snarky comment, she wanted to do anything she might have done months ago. But instead, her eyes welled up with tears for what felt like the hundredth time that evening as she told him, "I'm not completely incapable of doing anything, you know."
James sighed and he placed the tray with their plates and glasses on the end of the mattress before he sat down next to her and he told her, "I know that. I just... know things are a little harder lately and... you know, it is my job as the boyfriend to take care of you, especially at times like this. Let me do these things for you Quinn, I can't do much of anything else but this? Making a bed out of the pull out, and bringing you dinner... those things that I can do."
"I'm sorry." She said with a sigh, looking down at her hands in her lap as she said, "I just hate this. I hate that I can't do things anymore, and I hate that I can't do things without help or supervision. I feel like a kid, and I'm so tired of people trying to bubble wrap me lately."
"We're only doing it because we want to keep you as healthy and safe as we can right now. Maybe we take it a little far, actually not maybe, we definitely do... but it's just because none of us know how to navigate this. We don't know what to do, or how to act and we're nervous and scared and it comes out as being overbearing." James told her softly.
She looked over at him and told him, "That offer still stands; you can take off, a free pass to get out."
"I didn't say all of that to make you feel bad Quinn." James told her firmly.
"I know you didn't, but it doesn't mean that I don't feel bad." She said honestly, tugging on the cuffs of her sweater sleeves.
"I'm not going anywhere, not as long as you don't." James stated, and Quinn sighed.
"I'm working on that." She told him with a small smile.
James grinned at her when he told her, "Well work harder."
"Yeah, yeah." She stated.
She tilted her head back and laughed when he got up, unbuttoned his jeans and kicked them down his legs before he hopped onto the bed, got under the covers and pulled their food up to them. That when he told her, "I'm serious Quinn. Fuck, I'd marry you in a heartbeat as long as you get healthy again."
"I appreciate the sentiment, but that's never gonna happen." Quinn told him.
James chuckled and he told her, "Yeah, I know. You have a thing with marriage, but I just... this is the deal; I won't go anywhere as long as you promise me to do the same."
"Don't worry, I don't plan on going anywhere." Quinn told him, and she smiled gently as she added, "Besides, Taya already told me if I die on her she's gonna revive me just to kill me again."
"Not if I beat her to it." James joked.
Quinn let out a small laugh, and she leaned into his side, and she admitted, "I hate to say this... but I'm not really hungry anymore."
James smiled, and he moved just enough to pick up the tray of their food and set it on the table beside the couch. He told her, "That's okay."
"Do you regret ever meeting me?" Quinn asked him quietly.
James' brow quirked, "What do you mean?"
"Like... knowing what you know now, do you wish you hadn't met me?" Her voice was quiet, and low and James wasn't surprised by that.
"The only thing I wish, knowing what I know now, is that you didn't have to go through this." James told her, and Quinn tilted her head just enough to lean over and kiss him. When they pulled apart James went and ruined their moment by telling her, "Some of the wives wanted to get together during our next road trip."
"No." James sighed when she said this. That made Quinn roll her eyes, and she told him firmly, "I'm not gonna pretend to play nice with a bunch of women who wanted nothing to do with me before I got sick. There are a lot of things that I would do for you James, but that is not one of them, especially not now."
"I just hate the idea of you being all alone." He told her, looking down at her with soft eyes.
She shrugged her shoulders and informed him, "I'm not alone. I have Jess, and Taya, and Rach and Chelsea and Christian. All of who will not leave me alone for a second while you're gone. That's the very definition of not alone."
James sighed and relented a lot quicker than Quinn expected, "Okay."
"Seriously?" She asked him in surprise. James usually put up more of a fight when it came to the wives and girlfriends of his teammates. In fact, they had, in the past, had many blowouts about it.
"I'm not gonna ask you to do something you don't want to do. I get it, it's not fair of me to ask you to deal with that. You're right; they didn't care to be friends with you before now, so it's up to you." He told her honestly, smiling when she reached out and grabbed his hand in hers.
She gave it a squeeze and told him, "Thank you."
"Besides, I'd rather not have you around them. Who knows what would get back to my teammates." James joked, laughing when Quinn rolled her eyes and tried her best not to laugh as well, she failed at that but James leaned over and stopped her laughter by covering her mouth with his. Their kiss lasted a little longer than normal, and when they pulled apart for air James kept her where she was, tucked so close to him, with his hands on either sides of her face, and he told her, "I love you Quinn."
Quinn grinned as she told him, "You too dumbo- I mean Jimbo."
He wasn't surprised when he didn't get a verbal response, but he was surprised when he heard the lock click on the door knob. The door didn't open, so he turned the knob himself and pushed the door open but he stayed where he was for a moment. Quinn was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, elbows on her knees, chin in one palm, and on the counter by the sink, plugged into the wall, was the set of hair clippers. On the floor by her feet was what she had cut off of her hair on her own, and James had to admit that having never seen her with short hair it was a little strange.
He didn't say a word, he knew Quinn wouldn't be in a talking mood, so instead he picked up the hair clippers and turned them on, and he stood over her as he ran the blade up the back of her head. He let the hair fall to the floor before he did his best to section off what was still left on her head so that he could work in sections, as efficiently as possible but also as quickly as possible, for Quinn's sake.
Quinn didn't speak to him at all, she moved only when he required her to, and even when James turned the clippers off she didn't say a word. He ran a towel over her head and the back of her neck, trying to wipe away the little pieces of hair from her skin. He tossed the towel toward the sink, and he watched as Quinn glanced past him and into the mirror and she let out a sigh.
He sat down on the tub edge next to her, wrapped both of his arms around her as he pulled her into him, and he rested his forehead on the side of her neck for just a moment. When he pulled back from her, he tried his best not to let his emotions take over, so he took a second to blink away the tears he knew were coming, and he rolled his eyes when Quinn stated, "This is not a good look for me."
"I think you look great." He told her, and she narrowed her eyes at him.
"I don't, but thanks for trying." Quinn mumbled.
James shook his head at her and he told her, "You are... hands down the most bad ass, hottest GI Jane I've ever seen. Demi Moore doesn't hold a candle to you even on a bad day."
She tried to laugh, but it came out more as a cry, and she told him, "You're something else."
"Back at you." He told her, pulling her back into him to squeeze her tightly, before he told her, "Go change... gather yourself, whatnot. I'll heat up the pizza, and we can just hang out and watch a movie."
"Pizza?" She asked him with a raised eyebrow.
He nodded and told her, "Called in a favor with one of the guys. Geno dropped it off like an hour ago. I didn't want to... bother you I guess, I thought if I ordered it myself the delivery guy showing up might... scare you, make you not go through with this, so I had him leave it on the porch and text me when he left."
This time her eyes welled up with tears, and she asked him, "Have I told you how much I love you lately?"
James grinned over at her, "No, you never tell me that."
She rolled her eyes but laughed, and she said, "I hate you."
"That's more like it." James said with a laugh, and Quinn reached out and swatted his chest. When she went to grab the towel from the sink James grabbed her hands and he told her, "I got all this. You go... do what you need to do. If you need to spend half an hour in your room crying without me there then so be it, but just... do whatever it is you need to do to deal right now."
So Quinn leaned up and kissed his lips softly, and she placed her hands on his chest as she said, "Thank you."
He nodded, and he stopped her from leaving long enough to kiss the top of her now buzz cut head, before he allowed her to leave the room. James waited until he heard her feet on the stairs before he left the bathroom, and went to heat the oven up before coming back to the bathroom with a broom.
He swept up the hair first, both the long pieces from Quinn's original cut, and then the shorter pieces from the razor, meticulously making sure to get each and every piece from the floor. He threw it in the trash can underneath the sink, put the clippers back in their case with the scissors and stuffed it in the bottom drawer of the counter, before he threw the towel in the laundry basket. He tied off the garbage bag and pulled it out of the metal can, before he headed out back with it to throw it directly in the trash. Quinn didn't need to have to see it every time she went in there until someone else threw it out.
When he came back he was surprised to find Quinn sitting on the couch in one of his sweaters and a pair of sweat pants, with a box of tissues in her lap. Their eyes met, she smiled gently, and told him, "I'm hungry."
He let out a laugh, "You're so demanding."
Quinn smiled over at him again, and she told him, "You should be used to it by now."
"I am." He told her, and he bowed, literally bowed, as he told her, "I'll be right back with your pizza ma'am."
She called out after him, "I am so not a ma'am!"
She listened to him laugh as he disappeared around the corner and into the kitchen, and she got up and yanked the pull out mattress out of the couch. She was already exhausted, and she knew she likely would be far too exhausted to make it up the stairs and to her bedroom so this was the best option. After she had nearly fallen down the stairs three weeks previous Jess and Taya had demanded that unless someone was home to help her up and down the stairs she was to sleep down here, and Quinn was trying not to hate it because she understood where they were coming from.
When James came back into the living room with a tray of food to find Quinn curled up on the pull out couch, propped up by pillows and wrapped up in blankets he let out a laugh. He told her, "I could have done that for you."
She wanted to roll her eyes, or throw a pillow at him, or make some snarky comment, she wanted to do anything she might have done months ago. But instead, her eyes welled up with tears for what felt like the hundredth time that evening as she told him, "I'm not completely incapable of doing anything, you know."
James sighed and he placed the tray with their plates and glasses on the end of the mattress before he sat down next to her and he told her, "I know that. I just... know things are a little harder lately and... you know, it is my job as the boyfriend to take care of you, especially at times like this. Let me do these things for you Quinn, I can't do much of anything else but this? Making a bed out of the pull out, and bringing you dinner... those things that I can do."
"I'm sorry." She said with a sigh, looking down at her hands in her lap as she said, "I just hate this. I hate that I can't do things anymore, and I hate that I can't do things without help or supervision. I feel like a kid, and I'm so tired of people trying to bubble wrap me lately."
"We're only doing it because we want to keep you as healthy and safe as we can right now. Maybe we take it a little far, actually not maybe, we definitely do... but it's just because none of us know how to navigate this. We don't know what to do, or how to act and we're nervous and scared and it comes out as being overbearing." James told her softly.
She looked over at him and told him, "That offer still stands; you can take off, a free pass to get out."
"I didn't say all of that to make you feel bad Quinn." James told her firmly.
"I know you didn't, but it doesn't mean that I don't feel bad." She said honestly, tugging on the cuffs of her sweater sleeves.
"I'm not going anywhere, not as long as you don't." James stated, and Quinn sighed.
"I'm working on that." She told him with a small smile.
James grinned at her when he told her, "Well work harder."
"Yeah, yeah." She stated.
She tilted her head back and laughed when he got up, unbuttoned his jeans and kicked them down his legs before he hopped onto the bed, got under the covers and pulled their food up to them. That when he told her, "I'm serious Quinn. Fuck, I'd marry you in a heartbeat as long as you get healthy again."
"I appreciate the sentiment, but that's never gonna happen." Quinn told him.
James chuckled and he told her, "Yeah, I know. You have a thing with marriage, but I just... this is the deal; I won't go anywhere as long as you promise me to do the same."
"Don't worry, I don't plan on going anywhere." Quinn told him, and she smiled gently as she added, "Besides, Taya already told me if I die on her she's gonna revive me just to kill me again."
"Not if I beat her to it." James joked.
Quinn let out a small laugh, and she leaned into his side, and she admitted, "I hate to say this... but I'm not really hungry anymore."
James smiled, and he moved just enough to pick up the tray of their food and set it on the table beside the couch. He told her, "That's okay."
"Do you regret ever meeting me?" Quinn asked him quietly.
James' brow quirked, "What do you mean?"
"Like... knowing what you know now, do you wish you hadn't met me?" Her voice was quiet, and low and James wasn't surprised by that.
"The only thing I wish, knowing what I know now, is that you didn't have to go through this." James told her, and Quinn tilted her head just enough to lean over and kiss him. When they pulled apart James went and ruined their moment by telling her, "Some of the wives wanted to get together during our next road trip."
"No." James sighed when she said this. That made Quinn roll her eyes, and she told him firmly, "I'm not gonna pretend to play nice with a bunch of women who wanted nothing to do with me before I got sick. There are a lot of things that I would do for you James, but that is not one of them, especially not now."
"I just hate the idea of you being all alone." He told her, looking down at her with soft eyes.
She shrugged her shoulders and informed him, "I'm not alone. I have Jess, and Taya, and Rach and Chelsea and Christian. All of who will not leave me alone for a second while you're gone. That's the very definition of not alone."
James sighed and relented a lot quicker than Quinn expected, "Okay."
"Seriously?" She asked him in surprise. James usually put up more of a fight when it came to the wives and girlfriends of his teammates. In fact, they had, in the past, had many blowouts about it.
"I'm not gonna ask you to do something you don't want to do. I get it, it's not fair of me to ask you to deal with that. You're right; they didn't care to be friends with you before now, so it's up to you." He told her honestly, smiling when she reached out and grabbed his hand in hers.
She gave it a squeeze and told him, "Thank you."
"Besides, I'd rather not have you around them. Who knows what would get back to my teammates." James joked, laughing when Quinn rolled her eyes and tried her best not to laugh as well, she failed at that but James leaned over and stopped her laughter by covering her mouth with his. Their kiss lasted a little longer than normal, and when they pulled apart for air James kept her where she was, tucked so close to him, with his hands on either sides of her face, and he told her, "I love you Quinn."
Quinn grinned as she told him, "You too dumbo- I mean Jimbo."
♠ ♠ ♠
Title: If You See Her, Say Hello ; Bob Dylan.I thought maybe some happier, younger James and Quinn time might be a good break in the sadness.