Sunday Mornings

3:42 AM.

James turned away from the clock next to his bed in disgust as he shuffled back and forth on the floor next to the bed, bouncing Peyton up and down gently as she wailed, and wailed, and wailed. He was exhausted, she hadn't slept for more than maybe half an hour all night so far, and he didn't know what to do. He had the thought of calling Riley but then he realized that would probably wake their kids up and he didn't want to do that. Then he thought he could call his mother, but James was determined to do this himself.

So that was why at nearly four in the morning he was having his left ear drum blown out by a fourteen month old. He had practice at one that afternoon. This was going to be a long day.

"Come on kid, just go to sleep." James mumbled as he bounced Peyton up and down gently, before he gave up on the movement.

Instead he sat down on the edge of the bed and held her out in front of him, and told her, "Look kid, you're killing me here. I want to scream and cry just like you, but you don't see me doing it. So do me a favor, stop making me want to."

She had no idea what he was saying, he knew that, and she just continued to wail, tears streaming down her puffy cheeks, her face red. James let out a sigh, and he pulled her to his lap, where he held her closely and spoke softly, "Okay, I know I'm sorry I'm an inconsiderate asshole, you just keep crying... maybe you'll tire yourself out and we can both get some damn sleep."

As he expected she continued to wail against him. So he rubbed her back gently, and he looked up at the ceiling and wondered out loud, "I bet you're getting a real laugh out of this one huh Quinn? I bet you probably think this is reaaaal funny."

Peyton hiccuped and for a moment James thought finally and then, because the whole world seemed to be against him lately she looked at him and her nose crinkled in that way it always did before she let out a ear splitting screech that made James jump. He got up from the bed and set her down on it, where she continued to wail, and finally James looked at her and he said, "Alright, you wanna do it this way? That's fine, go for it, but I am at my last resort here so fuck it."

He joined her, screaming loudly at the same time as the toddler across from him, who paid no mind to his own mental breakdown. Nixon jumped up from his bed on the floor a few feet away and barked once, which woke Snoop who started barking almost immediately, and then Nixon joined in. James wondered how long they had to keep this up before a neighbour called a sanitarium on them.

When his voice was raw from screaming back at Peyton, who he noted was still screaming and crying, James shoved his hands through his hair and looked around the room. His eyes landed on his cell phone on the dresser and he crossed the room to pick it up. He was one tap away from waking his mother up when he changed his mind and pulled up a new text message.

How do I get a kid to stop crying?

He figured it was not quite two in the morning in San Jose and James knew the Sharks just finished a long road trip and would likely just be getting home. Paul would be up.

Sure enough two minutes later he received an answer.

How long has she been crying and what have you tried?

For like three hours. I've tried everything short of drowning myself in the bath tub.

James stared down at his phone in skeptically when Paul responded.

Take her for a car ride.

Seriously?

Yeah, it'll sooth her. Trust me man.

Are you fucking kidding me? That was the answer all along?

James grumbled as he shoved his phone into the pocket of his flannel pyjama bottoms and he picked Peyton up, trying to tune her loud sobs out as he carried her downstairs and into the garage. He buckled her into the car seat and closed the back door and for a moment he thought about just leaving her in there. Of course he would never do it, but after hours, literal hours, of listening to her sob and wail he may have, for a moment, wished they hadn't even chosen to have a kid.

Still, he got into the passenger seat, turned the key in the ignition, turned on some music to dull the sounds of Peyton's cries just a little and he reached up to push on the clicker for the garage door. He backed out of the garage and started down the street, not surprised when Peyton's cries didn't get any quieter.

He felt bad for that being the first thing he had said to Paul in months, but James figured that Paul would get it. Of all people he would get it. Paul had dealt with him for so long in Pittsburgh, he knew how James dealt with things, so James was confident that he would understand. At least... he hoped. Maybe he should send him another text later today. Doubtful.

James was sure that anyone would be alarmed watching him drive around, he probably looked like a zombie, he sure felt like one. He wasn't sure why he thought the one time he felt tired enough to really sleep that night that things would go smoothly. Peyton was 100% Quinn, biologically or not, which meant it was like she tried to make his life a living hell every day.

At least with Quinn though whenever she had been really annoying him James could go to another room, or to one of his teammates houses. With Peyton he didn't have that option, he couldn't go anywhere without her. He could barely even go to the bathroom without her crying for him, let alone leaving the house without her, and yet as much as it drove him crazy James knew he was to blame for it. He had been over compensating since Quinn's death, because he was so, incredibly afraid of Peyton feeling like she didn't get enough attention from him. He wanted to be around her all of the time, he wanted to do everything for her, every time she cried he was there. He had done this to himself, and he couldn't even say he hated it, except for now, because now he really hated it.

James had a new kind of respect for mothers in general, but especially mothers who were married to NHL players. They had it so easy when there was someone at home to do all this hard work for them, all they had to do was be around whenever their schedule permitted it. Sure, they were still parents and they still did parental things, but their parental work load was a hell of a lot smaller than their wives. Now however James was realizing just how much Quinn had done for both he and Peyton for so long and he really wished that he could just hand the responsibility off to someone else.

With a sigh James wrung a hand through his hair and he glanced back at Peyton in surprise. He hadn't even realized that she had stopped crying, and he looked into the little mirror stuck on the seat back in front of her rear facing car seat. She was looking at him with wide eyes, her face wasn't quite as red anymore, her tears had dried, and she was simply just watching him watch her.

James smiled gently, and she let out a giggle, which made him laugh as he muttered, "Figures. Just like your mother."

He glanced at the clock, he had been driving her around for almost three hours, he wondered how much of that time had gone silent before he realized it. He turned around and headed home, and Peyton was still awake when he pulled into the driveway. So as he scooped her up out of the car seat and brought her inside James bounced her lightly and he smiled when he asked her, "You're just like your mom. You know that? Yeah, you are. She liked to make me go crazy too. Mhmm, she'd be real proud of you right now. Yeah, that's right, laugh at me. It's okay, dad will be fine you just keep laughing at me."

Peyton did as he told her, she giggled as he carried her upstairs, and she giggled as he put her down in her crib and her little, infectious giggle was still coming through the baby monitor speaker as he set it on the nightstand and James crawled into bed. Snoop and Nixon both jumped into the bed with him, and as James got settled, setting his alarm for eleven thirty he fell asleep to the sound of Peyton giggling.

James had been sluggish all practice and he had offered no excuse for it. In fact he hadn't said more than three words all practice, even during the off ice side of it, even during his gruelling forty minutes on the stationary bike. Either no one had noticed or they all had but no one wanted to be the one to say anything, and as much as James hated the way they seemed to skirt around a real conversation with him and how they seemed to be okay with letting him slack off right now he welcomed it today.

He was dressed, ready and waiting to head over to Riley and Shea's for dinner before he would take Peyton grocery shopping and then maybe, just maybe, she would sleep tonight. God he hoped so. Shea followed him out to the players parking lot, where James got into the drivers side of his SUV and Shea got into the passenger seat. It seemed to be their routine now, James would drive them both to and from practices and games and Riley would watch Peyton for him.

Once they were on the road home Shea turned to James and asked, "So, what are your plans for tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow?" James asked, eyebrow lifted in confusion.

Shea let out a small chuckle, shook his head in amusement and reminded James, "Halloween."

"Oh... right. Nothing honestly." James admitted, adding in, "I completely forgot about it."

"Well...Riley and I were gonna take the kids around the block and then go home and watch a movie if you guys wanted to join. Peyton may not remember it but you will." Shea told him softly, and James nodded his head slowly.

"Yeah, that sounds good." He spoke quietly, he let out a big yawn before he could even finish the sentence.

Shea's brow lifted, "You get any sleep last night? You looked like you were gonna pass out all practice."

James shrugged, "Well... Peyton and I finally fell asleep around seven thirty this morning, and then I woke up at like ten and couldn't get back to sleep."

"Jeez."

James nodded, "Yeah, she drove me crazy all night, and what the hell man why did no one tell me about the car trick?"

Shea's brow lifted, "You didn't know about car rides? Wow."

James rolled his eyes and told Shea, "Shut up. I'm kind of new at this. Quinn used to do all that stuff."

"So... what, you just like chilled at home while she cried the whole time?" Shea asked him curiously, and James shrugged his shoulders in response.

He then added a verbal response, listing off all the things he tried, "I tried walking her around with the vacuum cleaner on, cuddling, bouncing, rocking, the works. I even went so far as to try screaming back at her."

Shea let out a loud laugh at that, and he asked James, "Did you try the rock and walk?"

"Yes."

"What about the wave?" Shea asked him curiously.

James turned to him as they came to a stop in the driveway, and he asked him, "What the hell is that?"

Shea chuckled all the way to the front door, and then when they were inside the kitchen he plucked Isla from Riley's grasp, held her in both arms on her back and slowly swayed his upper body side to side, he looked at James and told him, "That is the wave."

James looked at Riley and he was a little embarrassed to ask her, "How was my kid with the attitude problem?"

"A perfect angel." Riley told him and when he rolled his eyes at her she told him, "No really, she was. She had a nice good nap early this afternoon, and she's been fed so she's basically ready for a couple hours of dad time and then bed."

James muttered, "She better sleep tonight or I might see what it would cost me to return her."

Shea let out a laugh and Riley smiled at him, asking, "Rough night?"

He shrugged his shoulders and bent down just in time for Noah to jump into his arms. James lifted him up, smiling when Noah wrapped his little arms around his neck for a hug. When he pulled away Noah told him, "Sleepy."

When he pointed at James' face he knew he was referring to him, and James let out a chuckle and nodded, "Very. Grown ups don't get naps like you kids do."

Noah pouted, "Not fun."

Riley smiled and pulled Noah off of James as she told him, "No, it's not fun. Go play kiddo dinner will be ready soon."

He nodded his head and ran around the couch into the living room, and James glanced at Peyton, she was playing on her own with a few stuffed toys and Dug was laying on the floor next to him. He left her there and dropped onto the couch with a loud sigh, and he was surprised when Riley took the spot next to him with Isla in her lap. She looked at James and asked him, "How much sleep did you get last night anyway?"

He let out a loud, or what was supposed to be one, and said, "Two... three hours maybe."

"Why don't you let us babysit her tonight?" When she asked this James' eyes snapped open and he turned to look at her in surprise. She smiled gently at him and she reached out, patting his forearm before she told him, "I know the idea of being without her even for one night when you're home is scary but you look exhausted, and we don't mind... what's one more for a night? Good practice for baby number three right?"

James smiled gently and nodded but he told her, "I'm okay, really."

So she told him, "Well, just think about it. Don't be afraid to ask ever, because I'd love to keep her for a night for you. She's pretty great."

"She wasn't so great last night. It was like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Peyton last night." When he said this Riley let out a laugh and quirked her eyebrow so he explained, "She cried and screamed all night. For hours, I swear and then all of a sudden it was non-stop giggling for a few hours. Aren't they supposed to out grow the crying all night thing at like six months?"

"Not always. Sometimes they just have rough nights. Sometimes Noah cries for hours at night even now. It's perfectly normal... unfortunately." Riley told him softly, patting his arm again when he groaned.

"So basically by the time she's eighteen I'll be permanently bald." James muttered, putting his head in his hands, elbows on his knees.

Shea let out a laugh from behind them and said, "Pretty much."

- - -

"Alright... let's see what kind of costumes they have left." James said to Peyton as he strapped her into the baby seat in the cart he was pushing. He approached the Halloween section of the department store and muttered to himself, "What would they have left? What kind of moron leaves shopping for a Halloween costume until the night before Halloween?"

Peyton giggled and she reached up, patting her tiny hands against his face as James rested his forearms against the front of the cart as he wandered slowly through the aisles. He smiled down at her, and even pretended to bite at her fingers every time they came near him, sending her into a fit of loud giggles.

He stopped in front of the section labelled one to two years old and stared at the rack of costumes that were left. He was glad that there were no princess ones left. There was an octopus, a lion, and a Little Red Riding Hood that he considered buying until something bright green caught his eyes and he found himself staring at a fluffy Oscar the grouch costume. James let out a laugh and tossed it into the cart and made his way out of the aisle, stopping when he hit what was left of the candy to take a quick glance over it. He figured he should contribute to what Riley and Shea were handing out so he grabbed a box of snack size chocolate bars and then, as if it was some kind of a sign, sitting all alone on a shelf was a bag of individual size packages of Razzles. Quinn's favorite.

He grabbed it and tossed it into the cart, more out of habit than anything because he personally couldn't stand them, and then he went on to find the check out area. He took Peyton on one hip and carried his bag out in his free hand, strapping her into the car seat with the bag of their purchases in the back with the groceries they had picked up minutes before heading to the department store. He got into the front seat and turned the car on, looking back to check on Peyton one more time before backing out of his parking space and heading home.

When they arrived home both dogs came to greet them, James pet them both quickly before he put Peyton down in the play pen in the corner of the room. She had out grown it long ago but it was the easiest, safest and most convenient place for her when James had to unload the vehicle by himself. When he came back inside with all of the groceries and found Snoop and Nixon laying in front of the play pen James smiled as he brought the bags to the kitchen and put the food away.

He then brought Peyton up to bed, before he headed downstairs again, dropping onto the couch with a small sigh. As if on cue his cell phone rang, and he fished it out of the pocket of his jeans and sighed upon seeing Quinn's mother's name displayed on the screen. He thought about ignoring it, but he didn't. He hit talk and brought the phone to his ear, "Hello?"

"Hi James, it's Tina." Yeah, I know.

"Hi, how are you?" Frankly he didn't really care that much but it seemed like the polite thing to ask.

"I'm okay, you?" What's the point to small talk anyway?

He cleared his throat and told her, "I'm fine."

"And Peyton?" Do you actually care?

He shook his head for wondering that, of course she did. So he told her, "She's good. Just put her down for the night."

"Mark and I were talking and we would really like to come see her, see both of you." There was a pause, and everything in James wanted to say no, but Tina continued, "We were hoping that would be okay with you."

It's not.

"Yeah, that's fine."

"Would it be too much to ask for you to send me your schedule? So we can book a good time for everyone? We don't want to interfere with your life too much, and we definitely don't want to come at a time that's bad for you guys." James almost felt bad for being so closed off to the idea of their visit, almost.

Again he cleared his throat and said, "Yeah, I'll send it in the morning."

"Great, thank you James. I'll talk to you again tomorrow." She hung up before he could respond, figures.

When James hung up on his end he stared at his phone and then he looked around the house and let out a breath of air. He knew he shouldn't have but he opened up his dial pad and typed in the number he knew by heart, letting it ring and ring and ring, he hadn't had the heart to cancel Quinn's cell phone, simply for the reason of what he was doing now.

The line clicked and the voicemail kicked in.

"Hi, you've reached Quinn, it doesn't take a genius to figure out that I'm busy, or more likely screening my calls. Leave a message if you feel you have to, if I don't get back to you it means I didn't care to and you probably shouldn't bother calling back."