Even If You Don't

Calum's POV

As we boarded the plane, the boys and I got to our seats before the girls. We were all pretty spread out, not able to talk to each other without talking loudly – and we didn't want to do that.

The girls were coming down the aisle – all of them separated from each other as well. The only difference was that Kaylynn, Kenzie, and Vanessa were sitting with random people, and Mari had been seated next to me.

Once she found her seat, her eyes locked on mine and I saw her swallow thickly. She still scooted past me and sat down though, staring aimlessly at the tarmac outside so she didn't have to look at me again. I couldn't help but sigh softly, but I didn't say anything.

Not until we were in the air, that is.

The plane was quiet – despite being a full flight, everyone was either asleep or minding their own business. I could hear a few soft voices here and there, but they were clearly people who knew each other and weren't those making mindless small talk with the stranger next to them.

I then looked over at Mari. She wasn't asleep yet, but she did have her elbow resting in the window and her chin in her hand, obviously drifting in and out. And as much as I didn't really want to disturb her, I knew this was probably the only time we'd be as alone as we could get for a while.

"Mari," I whispered, leaning on the armrest between our seats.

"Hmm?" she hummed, probably forgetting it was me she was sitting by.

"Mari," I repeated just as lowly, putting my hand on her knee and rubbing her skin gently, "I know you're tired, but we need to talk."

Mari swallowed again as she opened her eyes, looking at me but not moving away from the window. I took a deep breath and just started talking.

"Kaylynn said you've been kind of out of it since after your set and I just wanted to say I'm sorry for pushing you the way I did," I sighed, "I get that we're friends – well... I like to think we are, anyway – but I shouldn't have just assumed that meant you'd tell me what was bothering you. So... I just want you to know that I'm not mad or anything for the way you reacted, and I'm sorry if I made you feel like I was."

She stared at me for a moment before surprising me by quickly leaning toward me. She couldn't exactly hug me, but she did the best she could – her head on my shoulder and her arms around my waist – holding onto me tightly. She didn't say anything – not that she needed to – and my arm snaked in between her and her seat so I could hug her back the best I could. I rubbed her back lightly, just until I felt her grip loosen.

I thought she was going to sit back in her seat, but when I heard soft snores being muffled by my jacket, I couldn't help but grin. I moved my hand from her back, bringing it up so I could run my fingers through her hair. I heard her sigh in content, her arm falling onto my lap in her unconscious state. I laid my head on hers and closed my eyes. I didn't fall asleep though, knowing there were only about 30 minutes left in our flight and I just wanted to enjoy this moment without anyone else teasing me about it.

~

Half an hour later, Mari was still asleep on me. I didn't know whether or not she would have fallen asleep on one of the other boys had she been sitting with them, but to be honest, I didn't want to think about it. I knew it would just bring back the ache in my chest and she was already with me, so I figured it was best not to let my mind wander.

But unfortunately, when the flight attendant announced that we'd be landing in 5 minutes, I had to wake Mari up.

"Mari," I whispered – just as I had done before – shaking her leg gently. She didn't wake up right away, so I gradually shook her a little harder until she finally started stirring.

Mari whined softly, the sound still muffled by my jacket. I couldn't help the grin on my face – she was about as easy to wake up as Michael was now that I thought about it.

"I know you're tired, but the plane lands in 5 minutes," I told her, "And as much as I want to, I can't carry you until we get to the hotel."

"But you want to, so why not do it anyway?" she murmured, burying her face further into my shoulder, her arms wrapping back around my waist.

"Because I don't think I could get you down the hallway without running into everything," I chuckled, "But you can hop on my back instead if you want – you just have to wake up now though." She sighed, her breath tickling the hair on my neck, before sitting up.

"Bribing isn't nice," she said softly, rubbing her eyes with the backs of her hands.

"Sorry, Mar," I grinned, patting her thigh before bringing my hand back to my lap.

"No, you're not," she pouted.

"I am!" I insisted quietly so I didn't disturb anyone, "I enjoyed being your travel pillow."

"At least I'm guaranteed the same travel pillow every time if you actually were one," she sassed, "There's no way I'm napping on some random ass dude on every other flight."

"Well, if that's ever the case, I'll just beg the random ass dude to switch seats with me."

"My hero," she rolled her eyes, leaning over so she could look out the window. I saw her eyes widen slightly, a small smile pulling at the corner of her mouth. It was close to one in the morning, but the lights of the city were on and it was obvious Mari was mesmerized by them.

"You ever been here before?" I asked.

"Of course not," she giggled, "I'd never be able to afford something like this. It took me three years just to save up enough to move to a crappy apartment in London. I thought after I was finally able to move into the place I have now, I'd start saving up for trips to other countries. Then the music thing happened and I was putting all my time into that when I wasn't at work. But I like to think it all worked itself out."

"Yeah," I said under my breath, watching her in awe, "Yeah, it did."

"Attention, passengers," one of the flight attendants announced over the intercom, "We are about to begin our descent in just a few short moments, so please buckle your seat belts, return your tray tables to their upright positions, and enjoy your stays in Italy."

We all did as instructed and a couple minutes later, we were touching the ground. It took a few more minutes before the door opened and we were allowed to exit the plane. We hadn't brought anything onto the plane that we put in the overhead compartments, so we just waited for everyone else to get what they needed and head to the door.

"Hey," I said, grabbing Mari's arm before she got too far away from me after we made it into the hallway, "I believe you and I had a deal."

Mari giggled softly, moving her bag to rest more on her back before jumping up onto mine. I hooked my elbows under her knees and she wrapped her arms around my neck as I carried her toward the terminal to find the rest of our bands. She laid her head on my shoulder and I heard her yawn – though it sounded like she was really trying not to. I grinned – feeling my heart skip a beat as her breath tickled my ear – and just held her tighter.

When I got into the terminal, I started looking for our friends. I found them at the baggage claim, but not before they already saw me. I noticed Michael nudge Kaylynn and she looked over her shoulder. She said something I couldn't hear, but it made everyone else turn to look as well.

"Glad to see you two made up," Michael snickered when I was finally in hearing range.

"Well, she was mad I woke her up before we landed," I said, "This is my punishment."

Mari let out a breath of amusement, letting me feel her smile against my skin. She didn't do anything else though, not letting anyone know she was still awake.

"You know you're gonna have to wake her up again so she can get in the car, right?" Kenzie laughed, "Then who knows what your punishment will be for doing it twice in a row."

"Maybe she'll go easier on me the second time around," I mentioned.

I felt one corner of Mari's mouth curl up, giving me my answer: She wasn't. I sighed slightly, but smiled as well, looking at the conveyor belt behind everyone.

"If you guys could not miss our bags, that would be great," I stated. Their heads snapped over, immediately rushing to get their bags as well as mine and Mari's.

Luckily, with it being nearly 1:30 in the morning, there weren't too many fans waiting outside. But since I knew they'd be asking for autographs and photos, I had to have Mari get off of my back sooner than I wanted. She, of course, whined softly, but did it anyway, sliding down until her feet hit the tacky airport carpet.

"Hate you," she mumbled.

"At least you're talking to me again," I smiled, going to take our bags from Ashton and Kenzie. When I returned to her side, I noticed Mari's expression had fallen slightly. I was about to ask her what was wrong, but she beat me to speaking.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you earlier," she whispered so quietly that, in the business of the airport, I almost didn't hear it.

"Mar, that wasn't your fault," I assured her, "I was the one who pushed you to talk about something you clearly didn't want to talk about. I don't blame you for getting mad at me."

"I didn't have to yell at you," she mumbled.

"But you did," I shrugged, "And I'm not blaming you, so you shouldn't either." She didn't say anything else, but I couldn't tell if she understood that it wasn't her fault or if she just felt like arguing about it with me would be pointless.

Instead, we all just went outside, talked with fans for a few minutes, and got in the cars that were taking us to our hotel. We were with our own bands, so I didn't get to talk to Mari again that night. And all I could do at this point was hope she wasn't still beating herself up over what happened at the venue.