Deadly Knives and Permanent Scars

“Yes! There!” He screamed under me, one hand wrapped up in my dark brown locks as he tugged them. I couldn't remember his name to save my life, but that didn't matter; once this little fling was over, I'd probably never see him again. “Jasper”

I felt his nails tear down my back as he came and I groaned, releasing inside him. Collapsing on the bed next to him, I tried to catch my breath before his arm wrapped around my waist as he tried to cuddle with me. I almost growled at the affectionate touch, jerking away from him as I sat up and grabbed my clothes off of the floor; I knew it upset him, me pulling away, but we made a deal this was only a one-night stand, nothing more.

“Are you really leaving this late at night? Do you know what's out there at this time?” He asked, sounding concerned, but I didn't care; I had been around here long enough to know what happens after the sun sets.

Grabbing my jacket, I pulled out a black butterfly knife, flicking it open and pointing it at the boy. He stared at it, swallowing before I said, “You don't have to worry about me because I know how to defend myself.” I knew he had clearly saw the scars that covered my body and he slowly nodded his head before I smirked.

“You were a decent fuck; a hell of a lot better than the last guy I got my hands on,” I chuckled, turning my back to him as his face flushed crimson and I pulled my jacket on. I lit a cigarette, taking a drag before I walked out the door without saying another word; it was four in the morning and I knew I had to get home before Dad woke up.

The streetlights flickered as I walked down the sidewalk, shivering as the chilly air ran across my neck. This was how I spent most of my nights nowadays; I'd pick up someone, man or woman, have sex with them, and just leave. I hated relationships and I had never been able to commit to a single one even if I tried; I learned that the hard way quite a few times.

Looking down an alleyway, I saw a few homeless people sleeping around a trashcan fire and I gripped my knife tightly in my pocket, continuing to walk home while making sure I was aware of my surroundings. I had been in fights in this area quite a few times and no matter what time of night it was, there was always a chance for another one.

Fifteen minutes and another cigarette later, I arrived home. My father and I lived in a small two bedroom house that was pretty run down, but he didn't seem to mind; he was drunk half of the time anyways.

Walking to the side of the house, I forced open my bedroom window, climbing through the small opening before throwing my jacket on the ground, laying down on my bed. I had to get up for school in less than three hours and though I wasn't really interested sitting in hard plastic chairs for seven hours, listening to someone talk in the droning voice, I knew I only had a few months left until I could finally get out.

I sunk down into my pillows, shutting my eyes and sighing; my dream was always to get out of here and though I was haunted by the things that happened when I was a child, I didn't want to feel trapped anymore. I just wanted to be free.


I drug my feet as I walked to school. After sleeping for only two hours, I felt dead inside and I knew that there was a high chance that I'd end up falling asleep in most of my classes today. Smoke escaped my lips before I took another drag of my cancer stick, hearing a voice behind me shout, “If you keep walking at that pace, you'll get to school by the time lunch starts.”

Turning around, I saw a short girl with purple streaked hair,  blue eyes, and a wide smile on her face,  “Why are you walking so slow this morning, Jasper?” Kara said, punching me in the arm when she caught up with me. Kara used to be my girlfriend a long time ago, but things didn't work out; she's the only person that I've ever allowed to get close to me unlike everyone else.

“Too tired. I'd prefer to be home if it wasn't for the fact that Dad is there with a bottle of Jack Daniels,” I muttered, chewing at my lip before dropping my cigarette on the ground, stamping the ember out with my heel.

The seventeen year old stared at me, rolling her eyes before saying, “If you wanted to ditch so badly, you could have just called me. You know that my parents are perfectly fine with you coming over whenever you want; they know that we're not a thing anymore, asshole.”

I just shrugged as we stepped on campus, walking towards the entrance of the school when my eyes caught sight of a boy with light blue hair that was tipped black, backed up against a wall by a taller male who I had seen around quite a bit lately; the taller male, Matt, was a complete asshole and I could hear Kara's disgust as she stood next to me.

As I stared at the two, I saw a flash of silver in Matt's hand and I stopped, frozen. I knew the kid he was attacking a new and probably wasn't used to the brutal reality of what happens in this community after dark.

In a flash, Matt sliced the boy's cheek and without even thinking, I rushed forward my fist making contact with the taller male's cheek as he hit the ground. The blue-haired male stared at me with wide eyes as I glanced over at him, kicking Matt in the back before snapping, “Don't you fucking dare try that again; if you do, you'll get more than a fist to the face.”

I glanced down at my bleeding knuckles, sighing as I picked Matt's knife up, flicking it shut before slipping it into my pocket. I began to walk off when I heard the younger male behind me stutter out, “T-T-Thank you!”

I chuckled softly, not replying as I walked back over to Kara before she said, “You're lucky that I was the only one around to see that. You really don't need to get suspended right now, Jasper.” Shrugging my shoulders, I blew off her words as we walked into the building, trying to figure out why my body reacted the way it did when I saw Matt go after the kid.


I stood next to my locker waiting for Kara to arrive so that the two of us could go to lunch together. So far the day had been dull; I fell asleep during English, carved letters into the desk during calculus, and almost tore my hair out during Spanish. Lunch was the one thing that I always looked forward to though because that's the only time I actually had some peace and quiet during the school day.

As I pulled out my phone, checking my email for a moment, I heard someone say my name and I glanced up to see an older woman, a teacher, gesturing me to come closer to her. At first I thought she was going to reprehend me for having my cell phone out, but instead, she pulled me into the classroom and shut the door behind her.

I was confused as I stared at her and when I opened my mouth to speak, she shushed me by saying, “You're Jasper, correct? Your mother was Felicity Applewhite?” I froze as she spoke my mother's name and I slipped my hand into my pocket, wrapping my fingers around my knife as I stared at her.

“What if she is?” My voice was hostile towards the woman and she took a step back, my hand tightening on my weapon as she folded her hands in front of her before saying, “I watched over her when she was a kid. I have a message to deliver to her and I was wondering what she's been up to these days.”

I bit my lip almost hard enough to break the skin and I lost her gaze, eyes finding the floor. How did I put what was on my mind in light terms? I could always mouth off to her like I did when people asked about her or I could be a tad bit nicer since she knew my mother in the past.

“She's gone. I don't know where you've been all this time, but she's been gone for fourteen years; she went missing one day and no one has seen her since,” I said softly, choosing my second option as she just stared at me in shock. I didn't know what else to say to the woman and I was about to walk out of the room when she opened her mouth once again, “I suppose that this message was meant for you then.”

Slowly, I turned back around to look at her before she spoke, “I was told to warn your mother about something coming very soon. I don't know what the something is, but that's all I was told. Whoever it was delivered a letter with instructions and that was it; that's all I was told.”

I clenched my hands into fists as I began to walk out of the room once again before I stopped for a  moment, growling, “I don't care who this person is or what they've got to say to me or my mother, but if you happen to find who they are tell them that Jasper said to fuck off.”  

The door shut behind me with a semi-loud slam and the students that were in the halls looked in my direction as I walked off, hands in my pockets. I didn't want to talk about my mother; I didn't want other people talking about my mother. The only thing that I really knew about her was that she loved me and that someone took her away from me; they turned my father into a monster; they turned me into a person that was forced to spend most of his time on the streets.

I took three steps outside the school building when I felt the overwhelming emotions of my past take over and I began to bang my fists on the brick wall. My childhood was haunting and every time someone brought her up, I always felt the pain and was force to relive the memories.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck,” I growled, feeling the jagged rock breaking the skin of my fists before I heard a voice behind me.

“Are you okay?”

Looking back, I saw the blue-black-haired male from earlier. He stared at me with cerulean eyes and I gritted my teeth as my eyes saw the bandage that he had placed over the gash on his cheek from earlier. My first reaction was to grab my knife and I almost took it out to threaten him, but stopped, eyes dropping down to the concrete as I snapped, “I don't need your fucking help,” before my feet began to carry me away.

It wasn't that guy's business on what was going on in my life; besides, I couldn't let people get close to me because they'd end up learning too much.

No one, but I needed to know my past.