Deadly Knives and Permanent Scars

Meeting up with Jasper actually wasn't a bad thing, but it's almost like everywhere I turn, there he is. Then something bad happens. My hand goes to my cut eye and I let out a sigh. I hate to admit it, but ever since yesterday at the bar, I've been having these weird feelings about him. He can make me blush and make me happy.

I shake my head and continue to the store. As I'm walking, I can't help but think of him. I reach inside my pocket and my fingers trace the knife that he'd given me. That's one thing I've noticed about him. He has a lot of different knives. He must have a collection or something.

Another thing I noticed is how he keeps pushing me away whenever I try to be friendly. I've noticed him hanging out with this girl who's dating Grey, one of Matt's friends, but other than that, no one. I wonder if it's hard for him to open up to anyone new who's interested in being friends.

Lost in thought, I bump into someone. I jump back and my stomach drops. Matt and Grey turn around. An evil smile crosses their faces. "Grey, someone left us a treat."

My grip tightened around the knife. I don't really know how to use it, but I've seen Jasper do it, so maybe I can copy what he's done. "I-I thought you said people would be scared of me...because of Jasper."

Matt smirked. "I don't see Jasper anywhere. Today is our lucky day and the moron knows not pick a fight. Yesterday was a close call for him."

My stomach dropped and I pulled the knife out and flicked the blade out. "Stay away from me!"

Matt laughed. "You don't scare me, twinkle toes. What do you know about wielding knives?" He turned to Grey. "Take it."

Grey smirked and slowly walked up to me. "Be a smart little freak and give me the knife. It'll make your beating less severe."

Once he got close enough, I spit in his face and swiped the knife across his face, but the only blow I landed was a little nick to chin. He now had a cut going from his bottom lip to the top of his chin. I made my decision to run back home. I knew if I continued to the market, they would kill me.

I returned back home, panting slightly. I closed the blade and slid it back in my pocket. I walked back to the kitchen and saw mom still there. She looked up and frowned. "No mix?"

I scratched my head. "I ran into trouble..."

She motioned me to sit and I did as instructed. "Do you want to talk? You've been distant from me ever since your father died."

I sighed. "You wouldn't like what I have to say. He wasn't the sweet, loving husband you thought he was. He was the only one I came out to, and he treated me like shit because of it. He was drunk that day he picked me up from school. He was the reason for that wreck."

Mom glared at me. "How dare you! So it's your fault my husband is dead? Go up to your room. I don't want to see you again today."

I choked down a sob and got up, walking to my room. I closed the door and crawled into my bed, crying myself back to sleep.

I sat outside, waiting for my dad to pick me up. Stupid principal thought that fight was my fault and I got suspended. What makes things worse, is that my dad now knows. This car ride should be fun...

I see his red mustang pull up and I take in a deep breath. I grabbed my stuff and got in the back seat. "What the hell were you thinking?" That was the first thing I heard as we started heading home. "Oh wait, my bad. You weren't thinking. You never are! Why didn't we just abort you?"

I bit my lip to keep from crying. "I'm sorry... I didn't start the fight though..."

Dad rolled his eyes. "Sure. And my son ain't gay. Oh wait-"

"I know. But I really didn't. Believe me or don't, that's your choice." I interrupted. Silence. I let out a sigh and look out the window. I notice the car drifting a lot. Dad is actually a pretty good driver, believe it or not.

"Your mother will talk about this with you when we get home."

I looked up and saw Dad take a giant swig of alcohol. My eyes widen. "You're drunk?"

Dad snorts. "Doesn't bother me. It lets me tolerate your infectious being."

His comment broke my heart. Before I could say anything Dad drifted into oncoming traffic and the car was hit, head on by another car. Everything went black for me.

The next thing I remember, is that I woke up in a hospital. There were nurses surrounding me and my mom was crying at my bedside. I reached up and grabbed her hand and her eyes met mine. Her relief made me break down. She comforted me and spoke the words, "your father didn't make it."

I woke up to a dark room. I shook and noticed tears falling from my eyes. I curled up and broke down. Maybe life would've been better if I never existed. With that thought in mind, I checked the time. My phone read 12:25am. Damn I slept a long time. I got up and slid my phone in my free pocket and double checked to make sure my knife was still in the pocket I'd left it.

I opened my window and struggled out, closing it behind me. If I'm not wanted here, then what's the point in staying?