Status: This story was made into a theatre piece for my high school project - for which I myself directed too.
Dumb Flu
Dumb Flu - Story and Video (Part Two)
[Act 3 Scene 3]
SECRETARY - Sir why are you having terrible headaches these days?
PM - It's the media! because they're also infected with this disease they're sending me report questions through WhatsApp! The media are more annoying on chat then while talking.
SECRETARY - Is that so?
PM - Yes! I'm getting 10 questions from 5 different news channels per second. Gosh these people type very fast, and the worst part is that I can't ignore this because it'll give them a bad impression about me as Prime Minister.
SECRETARY - That's really sad. Sucks to be you sir!
PM - (Takes off his sunglasses and spectacles) Sucks to be me?!
SECRETARY - U-Um…..n-n-no sir, it's awesome to be Prime Minister!
PM - That’s what I thought. I just wish I didn't have a WhatsApp account. (answers the phone) Hello?
MEDICAL - Hello sir, we've come up with a name for the new disease.
PM - Oh really? what is it?
MEDICAL - Dumb flu, sir.
PM - Dumb flu? ok sounds....good to me (says it awkwardly).
SECRETARY - What's dumb flu sir?
PM - The name of the new disease.
SECRETARY - Ok sir, you may want to inform the media about the new name.
PM - Good idea! (tells the disease name to the press by WhatsApp). Oh dear!
SECRETARY - What happened sir?
PM - This is the last time I'll ever listen to you!
SECRETARY - Why sir?
PM - I was just about to take a nap, now because of you these news channels are asking me why this disease has a ridiculous name!
SECRETARY - It's just one question, you can answer it.
PM - No it isn't! I have news channels asking me the same question in a rephrased way! So now I have to answer differently to all of them (Rages).
[Act 4 Scene 1]
ROBOTIC NEWS REPORTER - (in an emotionless voice) The new disease dumb flu till date has infected over 500 people. 100 of them being news reporters, 200 of them being school students and the rest being shopaholics.
(Affected people communicating with each other using mime, others running around panicking)
SECRETARY - (Walks in silently and sits right in front of the PM who is meditating in silence).
PM - (Opens his eyes slowly and is scared) Ah!! you fool! how many times have I told you not to scare me like this!
SECRETARY - It's nothing like that sir, I just didn't want to disturb your meditation. Why are you meditating all of a sudden?
PM - It's the media! they're annoying the living lights out of me. If you check my WhatsApp, on average I'm getting about ten thousand messages! (sneezes) sorry, I think I'm getting allergic to them.
SECRETARY - Oh dear.
PM - They keep asking me what's the cause, what's the cause, what's the cause, because…. they can't find better ways to annoy me. Now then, what did you want to tell me?
SECRETARY - Actually sir...now more than 600 are infected.
PM - More than 600 are infected? (sarcastically) great! that's just fantastic! now all that's left is to rename the country! I was thinking, Dumb land! Dumbtopia! now that's thinking big, am I right? or am I right?
SECRETARY - You truly are a visionary sir! by the way, scientists told me they found the cause.
PM - Well? go on? what is it?
SECRETARY - There are 2 causes actually: First cause is talking way too much.
PM - That's probably how the media got infected.
SECRETARY - Second cause is talking to the person who is infected with dumb flu.
PM - Talking to the infected? you mean silent killers?
SECRETARY - Yes sir, if that's what you mean.
PM - Ok I'll tell the press immediately on WhatsApp (tells them the cause). Wait! why am I doing all this? this is your job, wow! making me do all the hard work?
SECRETARY - Aw! come on boss!
PM - Whine again, and I'll slap you repeatedly with a piece of fish.
SECRETARY - Please don't, I'm allergic to fish. (Types in all the answers) Alright, I entered all comments.
PM - (Checks the phone) Oh...oh! no! how come technology works well with you? every time the phone is in my hand, I'm being attacked by dingles! what do you suggest I do? close my WhatsApp account? or shut down my phone?
SECRETARY - For now…. just shut your mouth.
PM - What was that?
SECRETARY - Shush! (whispers) disease, remember? (gestures a talking a hand).
PM - (Whispers) Oh...
[Act 4 Scene 2]
ROBOTIC NEWS REPORTER - (emotionless voice) Scientists concluded by saying that the cause of the disease dumb flu is either talking too much or talking to the infected.
(meanwhile)
TOURIST - Wow! such a quiet country this place is. I always thought it would be noisier. Oh, good gentlemen! you know this place better than me. Can you tell me where the nearest ice cream shop is?
PEOPLE - (Mimes) don’t talk!
TOURIST - I-I’m sorry, can you talk...
PEOPLE - (Mimes) Be Quiet!
TOURIST - Shut---up, Shut up? you’re all telling me to shut up?! how dare you! how dare you all! I have all rights you know?! I'm human!
PEOPLE - (Mimes) (Clap their hands and stomp to call police)
POLICE - (Mime) (Drag the tourist to the back and attacks him)
TOURIST - Oi! what are you doing with me! let go of me! I’m a tourist y’know?! infringement-of-the-law! unconstitutional!!!
[Act 5 Scene 1]
(A presentation is projected: “2021” Few years after dumb flu began to spread)
ROBOTIC NEWS REPORTER: (emotionless voice) Today, we have a terrible news. Today, as of 6PM, Dumb Flu Patient number 0 has died. Scientists have declared that Dumb Flu is lethal to human life, and the infected will die after two years of infection.
SECRETARY - Sir why are you having terrible headaches these days?
PM - It's the media! because they're also infected with this disease they're sending me report questions through WhatsApp! The media are more annoying on chat then while talking.
SECRETARY - Is that so?
PM - Yes! I'm getting 10 questions from 5 different news channels per second. Gosh these people type very fast, and the worst part is that I can't ignore this because it'll give them a bad impression about me as Prime Minister.
SECRETARY - That's really sad. Sucks to be you sir!
PM - (Takes off his sunglasses and spectacles) Sucks to be me?!
SECRETARY - U-Um…..n-n-no sir, it's awesome to be Prime Minister!
PM - That’s what I thought. I just wish I didn't have a WhatsApp account. (answers the phone) Hello?
MEDICAL - Hello sir, we've come up with a name for the new disease.
PM - Oh really? what is it?
MEDICAL - Dumb flu, sir.
PM - Dumb flu? ok sounds....good to me (says it awkwardly).
SECRETARY - What's dumb flu sir?
PM - The name of the new disease.
SECRETARY - Ok sir, you may want to inform the media about the new name.
PM - Good idea! (tells the disease name to the press by WhatsApp). Oh dear!
SECRETARY - What happened sir?
PM - This is the last time I'll ever listen to you!
SECRETARY - Why sir?
PM - I was just about to take a nap, now because of you these news channels are asking me why this disease has a ridiculous name!
SECRETARY - It's just one question, you can answer it.
PM - No it isn't! I have news channels asking me the same question in a rephrased way! So now I have to answer differently to all of them (Rages).
[Act 4 Scene 1]
ROBOTIC NEWS REPORTER - (in an emotionless voice) The new disease dumb flu till date has infected over 500 people. 100 of them being news reporters, 200 of them being school students and the rest being shopaholics.
(Affected people communicating with each other using mime, others running around panicking)
SECRETARY - (Walks in silently and sits right in front of the PM who is meditating in silence).
PM - (Opens his eyes slowly and is scared) Ah!! you fool! how many times have I told you not to scare me like this!
SECRETARY - It's nothing like that sir, I just didn't want to disturb your meditation. Why are you meditating all of a sudden?
PM - It's the media! they're annoying the living lights out of me. If you check my WhatsApp, on average I'm getting about ten thousand messages! (sneezes) sorry, I think I'm getting allergic to them.
SECRETARY - Oh dear.
PM - They keep asking me what's the cause, what's the cause, what's the cause, because…. they can't find better ways to annoy me. Now then, what did you want to tell me?
SECRETARY - Actually sir...now more than 600 are infected.
PM - More than 600 are infected? (sarcastically) great! that's just fantastic! now all that's left is to rename the country! I was thinking, Dumb land! Dumbtopia! now that's thinking big, am I right? or am I right?
SECRETARY - You truly are a visionary sir! by the way, scientists told me they found the cause.
PM - Well? go on? what is it?
SECRETARY - There are 2 causes actually: First cause is talking way too much.
PM - That's probably how the media got infected.
SECRETARY - Second cause is talking to the person who is infected with dumb flu.
PM - Talking to the infected? you mean silent killers?
SECRETARY - Yes sir, if that's what you mean.
PM - Ok I'll tell the press immediately on WhatsApp (tells them the cause). Wait! why am I doing all this? this is your job, wow! making me do all the hard work?
SECRETARY - Aw! come on boss!
PM - Whine again, and I'll slap you repeatedly with a piece of fish.
SECRETARY - Please don't, I'm allergic to fish. (Types in all the answers) Alright, I entered all comments.
PM - (Checks the phone) Oh...oh! no! how come technology works well with you? every time the phone is in my hand, I'm being attacked by dingles! what do you suggest I do? close my WhatsApp account? or shut down my phone?
SECRETARY - For now…. just shut your mouth.
PM - What was that?
SECRETARY - Shush! (whispers) disease, remember? (gestures a talking a hand).
PM - (Whispers) Oh...
[Act 4 Scene 2]
ROBOTIC NEWS REPORTER - (emotionless voice) Scientists concluded by saying that the cause of the disease dumb flu is either talking too much or talking to the infected.
(meanwhile)
TOURIST - Wow! such a quiet country this place is. I always thought it would be noisier. Oh, good gentlemen! you know this place better than me. Can you tell me where the nearest ice cream shop is?
PEOPLE - (Mimes) don’t talk!
TOURIST - I-I’m sorry, can you talk...
PEOPLE - (Mimes) Be Quiet!
TOURIST - Shut---up, Shut up? you’re all telling me to shut up?! how dare you! how dare you all! I have all rights you know?! I'm human!
PEOPLE - (Mimes) (Clap their hands and stomp to call police)
POLICE - (Mime) (Drag the tourist to the back and attacks him)
TOURIST - Oi! what are you doing with me! let go of me! I’m a tourist y’know?! infringement-of-the-law! unconstitutional!!!
[Act 5 Scene 1]
(A presentation is projected: “2021” Few years after dumb flu began to spread)
ROBOTIC NEWS REPORTER: (emotionless voice) Today, we have a terrible news. Today, as of 6PM, Dumb Flu Patient number 0 has died. Scientists have declared that Dumb Flu is lethal to human life, and the infected will die after two years of infection.
♠ ♠ ♠
Find out how the government and media try and get their heads around this new epidemic.