One

[Act 1 Scene 1]

(In Jail)

OFFICER 1 - Alright everyone! back in your cells! not a peep out of anyone!

(Prisoners move along)

OFFICER 2 - That's it move along! move along!

ZAK - (Drinking Water).

DOUG - Watcha up to?

ZAK - Nothing much.

DOUG - I see....uh.

ZAK - Shush! you didn't see anything, alright?

DOUG - Nah, I didn't see nothing.

ZAK - That's right, nothing.

DOUG - Yes, I get it.

[Act 1 Scene 2]

(Morning)

OFFICER 1 - Alright! wake up! everyone! get up! no slacking!

OFFICER 2 - Cell 1? check, Cell 2? check, Cell 3? what? (looks around) Doug!

DOUG - (Wakes up) Hey! what up dog?

OFFICER 2 - Not now, where's the other one?

DOUG - Oh! y-you mean zakky boy? no clue.

OFFICER 2 - What?

OFFICER 1 - What up?

OFFICER 2 - Code red! we're missing Zak!

OFFICER 1 - Officers! we have a code red! mission to find Zak!! I repeat...

[Act 2 Scene 1]

(City drainage)

ZAK - (Opens up the drainage plate and gets on top) Finally. Now then, where was I? (finds 7 eleven) Need some butt.

(walks into 7 Eleven)

ZAK - What up dog?

CASHIER - Nothing much.

ZAK - Hit me with a butt.

CASHIER - That'll be ten.

ZAK - You serious, dog? you really serious? you really think I would want to cough up a ten for some butt?

CASHIER - Rules bro. Got to follow them.

ZAK - I tell you what. I say you lower it down by 1.

CASHIER - Okay then, it's a 9.

ZAK - Nah! I mean lose the one from ten.

CASHIER - No free service allowed.

ZAK - You have no idea who I am do you?

CASHIER - Don't know, don't care. Pay up, or it's the police.

ZAK - (Silent) Hehehe. The police I see, that's how you want to settle it? well then, hmm....ooh I'm famous! (finds his wanted poster on 7 eleven) check this out.

CASHIER - (Sees it) Bro! y-you-

ZAK - That's right. Now cough it up.

CASHIER - I'm calling the police.

ZAK - Do that and I'll wreck this store.

CASHIER - Fine, fine! here! here you go!

ZAK - Thanks. Jeez, you people make things so complicated for the sake of money.

CASHIER - Y-You're not a robber?

ZAK - That's something amateurs do.

CASHIER - What do you do then?

ZAK - You know what, I'm kind of tired right now. Long walk up here. Why don't you ring the cops and ask them what I did. I think they'll be glad to let you in on something. Tally ho! (walks out).

CASHIER - Okay then?

[Act 2 Scene 2]

(In a mall)

OFFICER 1 - Have you seen this man?

PERSON 1 - No.

OFFICER 2 - Have you seen this man?

PERSON 2 - No.

ZAK - They never learn do they.

PERSON 2 - (Looks behind) Hey bro!

PERSON 3 - What's up?

PERSON 2 - (Notices Zak) Officer, h-he's right there.

OFFICER 2 - Nice work! we've got him!

ZAK - Damn it! (makes a run for it).

OFFICERS - Surround the perimeter! ASAP!

(Zak and Officers in a wild chase around the mall)

[Act 3 Scene 1]

(Zak enters the restroom and closes the door)

ZAK - (Panting) Jeez, why are they such a pain? can't they just leave me alone?

MAK - (Urinal - and on the phone) Yes, tell Tyler I can't come. I'm busy with something.

ZAK - (Spots Mak and is stunned - look a like; and whispers) Holy Cow.

(Zak checks him out - completely)

ZAK - (Turns off the lights).

MAK - Hey! who turned out the lights?! ah! ah! owch! dude get off me! you want to go?! huh?! you want to-

ZAK - Shut up! (chucks him in the cubicle rooms and leaves).

[Act 3 Scene 2]

OFFICER 3 - Any sign of Zak? no? oh wait! gotcha!

ZAK - W-What?! (attempts to run).

OFFICER 3 - Stop right there! I gotcha! hold on, why are you in different clothes?

ZAK - Oh right I'm that guy. Sir I'm not who you're looking for.

OFFICER 3 - Prove it!

ZAK - (Takes out the wallet he stole from Mak) H-Here's my ID.

OFFICER 3 - Mak Johnson ay?

ZAK - Y-Yes.

OFFICER 3 - Right then, sorry for the trouble. (Walks off and turns back) You both look a like!

ZAK - I-I get that a lot, I guess?

OFFICER 2 - Freeze.

OFFICER 3 - It's not him! I already checked.

OFFICER 2 - Go.

ZAK - (Leaves) Ha! fooled the police - like a boss. Okay then, so I'm Mak Johnson. Strange.....Zak...Mak....Zak....coincidence I guess. Right then, address....must be in his wallet - ah there we go! 21, Flower Road, Bayshore. I guess I live in Bayshore, then off we go!

[Act 4 Scene 1]

(At Bayshore)

ZAK - Right then....(goes through everything about who Mak is - personal photos and information). Hmm....I-I think I've got it.

(doorbell rings)

ZAK - God damn it!

(opens the door)

RICHARD - Hey bro! you ready?

ZAK - Um.....

RICHARD - Tyler's party, y-you remember right?

ZAK - O-Oh yes, yes, yes. I forgot actually. Be right back!

(Zak changes clothes)

ZAK - Right then, shall we?

RICHARD - We need to be there in 30 minutes.

[Act 4 Scene 2]

(Tyler's Party)

TYLER - Hey Richard!

RICHARD - Hey.

ZAK - So that's his name.

TYLER - And Mak? I-I thought you were busy with something?

ZAK - I was? I mean, yes, but I finished it quickly.

TYLER - I see...

ZAK - What're we waiting for? let's party.

MONICA - Hey Mak!

ZAK - Well hello, foxy.

MONICA - (Giggles).

RICHARD - How did your date with her go?

ZAK - Date?

MONICA - It was great! Mak took me to East Coast. Dining by the beach - romantic.

ZAK - Yes, and at what cost.

MONICA - I'm sorry, y-you simply had to cover the bills - gentleman's business you know?

ZAK - Indeed.

(They party hard)

[Act 5 Scene 1]

(Jail)

MAK - Sir! I-I'm not the guy!

OFFICER 2 - Shut up!

MAK - Believe me! I-I'm not him!! y-you have to believe me. W-What date is it today?

OFFICER 2 - 14th March.

MAK - 14th March! I-I need to submit a project! sir! I-I must go.

OFFICER 2 - Can you just shut up? god. No way out - you were under a 6 year jail term. Now because you escaped - I've extended it to another year. Don't try anything funny with us, Zak.

MAK - Zak? I-I'm Mak!

OFFICER 2 - Nice try Mac and Cheese.

MAK - But-

OFFICER 2 - What am I using? oh! a MacBook Pro!

MAK - Sir can you please just-

OFFICER 2 - Zip it! dot com.

MAK - Dot com?

OFFICER 2 - You're really testing my patience. Just remain silent okay?

OFFICER 3 - Sir, donuts are up for grabs outside.

OFFICER 2 - Glazed?

OFFICER 3 - Assorted.

OFFICER 2 - I'm coming - I'll be back (gesturing eyes on Mak).

(Officer leaves)

MAK - How the hell am I Zak? there can only be one! and that's me! I-I don't even have a twin! this is ridiculous. W-What's wrong with the police force these days? huh? (bangs the top of the cell and long stick falls down).

(This was the same long stick, Zak used to sizzle the the rock tiles out and escape)

MAK - Now then (uses the stick to drag the officer's phone from the desk - successfully) Okay...Okay (dials to reach his phone).

[Act 5 Scene 2]

ZAK - (Phone rings) Uh-Oh....Officer Seamus. (On the phone) H-Hello?

MAK - (On the phone) Hello! w-who are you?! what are you doing?

ZAK - (On the phone) I-I'm Mak, Mak Johnson.

MAK - (On the phone) Shut up! Shut up! you are not Mak Johnson. That's me! who are you! and what are you doing?!

ZAK - (On the phone) I'm you.

MAK - (On the phone) What?!

ZAK - (On the phone) Having a good time at Tyler's party.

MAK - (On the phone) Huh?! w-what?!! h-how come-

ZAK - (On the phone) You don't get it do you. I am You!

MAK - (Gasps) (On the phone) Stay away from my life!

ZAK - (On the phone) Hehe. To be honest, your life's pretty awesome.

MAK - (On the phone) What're you saying?

ZAK - (On the phone) No can do bro. You're me, and I'm you. Goodbye! (drops the call).

MAK - (On the phone) Wait! Wait! (drops the call) Damn it. Why me?!