Status: A representation about a clinic - dedicated to solving love problems.
Love Doctor
Love Doctor (Part Two)
[Act 1 Scene 3]
FRANK - (Crying in an embarrassing way)
LOVE DOCTOR - (Pissed)
SECRETARY - Sir your coffee.
LOVE DOCTOR - Thank you, I need one.
SECRETARY - Is everything alright?
LOVE DOCTOR - What does this look like to you?
SECRETARY - A crying walrus sir.
LOVE DOCTOR - Exactly, you know how long this walrus has been crying for?
SECRETARY - 10 minutes sir?
LOVE DOCTOR - No not even close, 40 minutes.
SECRETARY - 40 minutes?! what happened?
LOVE DOCTOR - This poor walrus didn't know he was hitting on a girl who's already married.
SECRETARY - Oh, poor thing.
LOVE DOCTOR - I would be in the same state, but no not crying for an hour I tell you.
SECRETARY - Sir please stop crying.
FRANK - (Cries even louder)
SECRETARY - Sir-
FRANK - (Cries even louder)
SECRETARY - Sir-
FRANK - (Cries even louder)
SECRETARY - Sir if you would just-
FRANK - (Cries even louder)
SECRETARY - Oh god, sir my temper has already reached its limits. How can you take it?
LOVE DOCTOR - Let me get one thing straight, I'm a doctor. I'm supposed to deal with these creeps. If I can't deal with them then I'm not a doctor. I'm just an LBBS graduate.
SECRETARY - What's LBBS?
LOVE DOCTOR - Bachelor of Love and Bachelor of S--, you know what I mean don't you?
SECRETARY - I see, I'm going to stay 5 meters away from you now onwards.
LOVE DOCTOR - Oh come on don't think of me like that, I'm not doing it am I. I'm just helping these aliens do it, I can do what you were thinking like every other confident person in the world.
SECRETARY - (Awkwardly) Okay, I'm going to be at H&M to buy extra clothing to cover myself up.
LOVE DOCTOR - But you're already dressed.
SECRETARY - Well, it's a chaotic city out there. Extra security!
LOVE DOCTOR - Okay then, on your way out drag this loser out of my office.
SECRETARY - I'm on it.
LOVE DOCTOR - If he stays here for another minute my office will turn into an aquarium.
(Secretary drags him out)
[Act 2 Scene 1]
SECRETARY - Token number 3! you may go in!
LOVE DOCTOR - Hi, how may I help you?
WILKIE - Doc I don't have any major love issues.
LOVE DOCTOR - Then why the hell are you here?
WILKIE - Girls come to me all the time. We hang out, watch movies, we even go for holidays with others. I've had girlfriends and it's been a good run, the problem is proposal.
LOVE DOCTOR - Proposal? are you serious? you're like the size of Dwayne Johnson. You can okay girls but not propose? astounding!
WILKIE - Please doc don't say that. Once I propose they either run away or say no.
LOVE DOCTOR - Oh so you can propose. Let me see, yeah I'm not getting it. How can this be? this is totally out of the love theory.
WILKIE - I know right? the girls like me and love to hang out. But when I propose to them for marriage they reject me. I just don't see why.
LOVE DOCTOR - Hmm...need to think deeper for this case. How many girlfriends do you have?
WILKIE - 15.
LOVE DOCTOR - 15! oh Jesus! who's your mama?!
WILKIE - Doc the problem is that they accept my proposal to be their boyfriend, but they reject me to be their life partner.
LOVE DOCTOR - Life partner huh? wait that's it! maybe they don't want their husband to be a hunk like you.
WILKIE - But doc they like me so much, I don't even act like a bully or an idiot. I just appear as a Hunk.
LOVE DOCTOR - Gosh this is hard to figure out. Okay let's do it like this, when you propose to your girlfriend how do you propose?
WILKIE - Like any other person doc. "It's been a great run being with you, I can't imagine spending a day without you. If I do spend a day without you, I feel a piece of my heart has gone missing. What I'm trying to say is that, will you marry me?" and then they either say no or run like a mad bull dog.
LOVE DOCTOR - I just don't get it, your approach and proposal looks just fine. Wait you said you have 15 girlfriends right?
WILKIE - Yes doc.
LOVE DOCTOR - Maybe it could be that you rush each proposal too quickly. You could be proposing to one girl and when she rejects you move on to the next girl. This makes the feel go away.
WILKIE - No doc I don't rush the proposal for each girl. Once I get rejected I remain sad for the next 2 months, accept the rejection and move on to the next girl. They don't notice it.
LOVE DOCTOR - This is pretty strange, perhaps all your girlfriends took a shot of vodka before your proposal.
WILKIE - They don't drink doc, they're very decent.
LOVE DOCTOR - Oh god, I'm going to go mad with this case. What could it possibly be? wait hold on, I forgot to ask what your name was.
WILKIE - My name is Winnie, Winnie Wilkie.
LOVE DOCTOR - Winnie Wilkie?! oh, Oh I see the problem.
WILKIE - What is it doc? please tell me?
LOVE DOCTOR - Do you really want to? you may regret it.
WILKIE - No please tell me, this is my life. Do I have to change my body language, my accent, my hobbies or my diet?
LOVE DOCTOR - Change your name, that's the problem.
WILKIE - My name? what's wrong with my name. Winnie Wilkie sounds good to me.
LOVE DOCTOR - Your first name suits a honey bear, not a hunk. Your last name is...disturbing to say.
WILKINSON - But how's my name going to affect my chances of marriage?
LOVE DOCTOR - Do I really have to mention these small things? once you get married your wife has to change her last name to your last name. Just think: Hello Mrs. Wilkie! Mr. Wilkie went down the milky wave! yuk!
WILKINSON - What do you suggest I do?
LOVE DOCTOR - Change your name or forget it.
WILKINSON - No doc, I won't forget it. I'll change my last name.
LOVE DOCTOR - Good, now pay up your fee.
WILKINSON - How much doc?
LOVE DOCTOR - $300
WILKINSON - $300! are you serious?
LOVE DOCTOR - Hello? you're going to change your last name. That's a big thing, better than taking antibiotics isn't it?
WILKINSON - I guess you're right.
LOVE DOCTOR - Cash or credit?
WILKINSON - Credit.
(Swipes the card)
WILKINSON - Okay so I have to change my last name, how do I do it?
LOVE DOCTOR - Take my Love Guide: Volume 3.
WILKINSON - (Reads the cover) Changing names, you have books for every problem?
LOVE DOCTOR - Well of course, I'm a doctor. Not the lazy librarian across the street. Go through the list of last names and pick one which best suits your personality and first name. Don't pick the first 3 last names!
WILKINSON - What are the first 3 last names?
LOVE DOCTOR - Freightrain, Mallet and Bolbie.
WILKINSON - Disgusting! why did you put them in?
LOVE DOCTOR - Hello? this book isn't made specially for you! it's also for the others. It could suit them but not you.
WILKINSON - Will everything work out well?
LOVE DOCTOR - Of course! you want me to prove it? when you propose with your new last name they'll take 2 seconds to say yes.
WILKINSON - What's the 2 seconds for?
LOVE DOCTOR - For them to take a frying pan and hit you on the head! what else do you think it's for? just go! that's their issue not yours!
(Wilkie leaves)
LOVE DOCTOR - Narnias.
FRANK - (Crying in an embarrassing way)
LOVE DOCTOR - (Pissed)
SECRETARY - Sir your coffee.
LOVE DOCTOR - Thank you, I need one.
SECRETARY - Is everything alright?
LOVE DOCTOR - What does this look like to you?
SECRETARY - A crying walrus sir.
LOVE DOCTOR - Exactly, you know how long this walrus has been crying for?
SECRETARY - 10 minutes sir?
LOVE DOCTOR - No not even close, 40 minutes.
SECRETARY - 40 minutes?! what happened?
LOVE DOCTOR - This poor walrus didn't know he was hitting on a girl who's already married.
SECRETARY - Oh, poor thing.
LOVE DOCTOR - I would be in the same state, but no not crying for an hour I tell you.
SECRETARY - Sir please stop crying.
FRANK - (Cries even louder)
SECRETARY - Sir-
FRANK - (Cries even louder)
SECRETARY - Sir-
FRANK - (Cries even louder)
SECRETARY - Sir if you would just-
FRANK - (Cries even louder)
SECRETARY - Oh god, sir my temper has already reached its limits. How can you take it?
LOVE DOCTOR - Let me get one thing straight, I'm a doctor. I'm supposed to deal with these creeps. If I can't deal with them then I'm not a doctor. I'm just an LBBS graduate.
SECRETARY - What's LBBS?
LOVE DOCTOR - Bachelor of Love and Bachelor of S--, you know what I mean don't you?
SECRETARY - I see, I'm going to stay 5 meters away from you now onwards.
LOVE DOCTOR - Oh come on don't think of me like that, I'm not doing it am I. I'm just helping these aliens do it, I can do what you were thinking like every other confident person in the world.
SECRETARY - (Awkwardly) Okay, I'm going to be at H&M to buy extra clothing to cover myself up.
LOVE DOCTOR - But you're already dressed.
SECRETARY - Well, it's a chaotic city out there. Extra security!
LOVE DOCTOR - Okay then, on your way out drag this loser out of my office.
SECRETARY - I'm on it.
LOVE DOCTOR - If he stays here for another minute my office will turn into an aquarium.
(Secretary drags him out)
[Act 2 Scene 1]
SECRETARY - Token number 3! you may go in!
LOVE DOCTOR - Hi, how may I help you?
WILKIE - Doc I don't have any major love issues.
LOVE DOCTOR - Then why the hell are you here?
WILKIE - Girls come to me all the time. We hang out, watch movies, we even go for holidays with others. I've had girlfriends and it's been a good run, the problem is proposal.
LOVE DOCTOR - Proposal? are you serious? you're like the size of Dwayne Johnson. You can okay girls but not propose? astounding!
WILKIE - Please doc don't say that. Once I propose they either run away or say no.
LOVE DOCTOR - Oh so you can propose. Let me see, yeah I'm not getting it. How can this be? this is totally out of the love theory.
WILKIE - I know right? the girls like me and love to hang out. But when I propose to them for marriage they reject me. I just don't see why.
LOVE DOCTOR - Hmm...need to think deeper for this case. How many girlfriends do you have?
WILKIE - 15.
LOVE DOCTOR - 15! oh Jesus! who's your mama?!
WILKIE - Doc the problem is that they accept my proposal to be their boyfriend, but they reject me to be their life partner.
LOVE DOCTOR - Life partner huh? wait that's it! maybe they don't want their husband to be a hunk like you.
WILKIE - But doc they like me so much, I don't even act like a bully or an idiot. I just appear as a Hunk.
LOVE DOCTOR - Gosh this is hard to figure out. Okay let's do it like this, when you propose to your girlfriend how do you propose?
WILKIE - Like any other person doc. "It's been a great run being with you, I can't imagine spending a day without you. If I do spend a day without you, I feel a piece of my heart has gone missing. What I'm trying to say is that, will you marry me?" and then they either say no or run like a mad bull dog.
LOVE DOCTOR - I just don't get it, your approach and proposal looks just fine. Wait you said you have 15 girlfriends right?
WILKIE - Yes doc.
LOVE DOCTOR - Maybe it could be that you rush each proposal too quickly. You could be proposing to one girl and when she rejects you move on to the next girl. This makes the feel go away.
WILKIE - No doc I don't rush the proposal for each girl. Once I get rejected I remain sad for the next 2 months, accept the rejection and move on to the next girl. They don't notice it.
LOVE DOCTOR - This is pretty strange, perhaps all your girlfriends took a shot of vodka before your proposal.
WILKIE - They don't drink doc, they're very decent.
LOVE DOCTOR - Oh god, I'm going to go mad with this case. What could it possibly be? wait hold on, I forgot to ask what your name was.
WILKIE - My name is Winnie, Winnie Wilkie.
LOVE DOCTOR - Winnie Wilkie?! oh, Oh I see the problem.
WILKIE - What is it doc? please tell me?
LOVE DOCTOR - Do you really want to? you may regret it.
WILKIE - No please tell me, this is my life. Do I have to change my body language, my accent, my hobbies or my diet?
LOVE DOCTOR - Change your name, that's the problem.
WILKIE - My name? what's wrong with my name. Winnie Wilkie sounds good to me.
LOVE DOCTOR - Your first name suits a honey bear, not a hunk. Your last name is...disturbing to say.
WILKINSON - But how's my name going to affect my chances of marriage?
LOVE DOCTOR - Do I really have to mention these small things? once you get married your wife has to change her last name to your last name. Just think: Hello Mrs. Wilkie! Mr. Wilkie went down the milky wave! yuk!
WILKINSON - What do you suggest I do?
LOVE DOCTOR - Change your name or forget it.
WILKINSON - No doc, I won't forget it. I'll change my last name.
LOVE DOCTOR - Good, now pay up your fee.
WILKINSON - How much doc?
LOVE DOCTOR - $300
WILKINSON - $300! are you serious?
LOVE DOCTOR - Hello? you're going to change your last name. That's a big thing, better than taking antibiotics isn't it?
WILKINSON - I guess you're right.
LOVE DOCTOR - Cash or credit?
WILKINSON - Credit.
(Swipes the card)
WILKINSON - Okay so I have to change my last name, how do I do it?
LOVE DOCTOR - Take my Love Guide: Volume 3.
WILKINSON - (Reads the cover) Changing names, you have books for every problem?
LOVE DOCTOR - Well of course, I'm a doctor. Not the lazy librarian across the street. Go through the list of last names and pick one which best suits your personality and first name. Don't pick the first 3 last names!
WILKINSON - What are the first 3 last names?
LOVE DOCTOR - Freightrain, Mallet and Bolbie.
WILKINSON - Disgusting! why did you put them in?
LOVE DOCTOR - Hello? this book isn't made specially for you! it's also for the others. It could suit them but not you.
WILKINSON - Will everything work out well?
LOVE DOCTOR - Of course! you want me to prove it? when you propose with your new last name they'll take 2 seconds to say yes.
WILKINSON - What's the 2 seconds for?
LOVE DOCTOR - For them to take a frying pan and hit you on the head! what else do you think it's for? just go! that's their issue not yours!
(Wilkie leaves)
LOVE DOCTOR - Narnias.
♠ ♠ ♠
Love Doctor seems to be solving more cases - each with different problems.