Simple Man

“Dean,” Castiel looked at him with worry in his eyes, then they shifted to Amanda. She was furrowing her eyebrows in confusion with her arms folded across her chest; she was obviously waiting for an explanation about who this strange man was standing before her. “I’m sorry to interrupt whatever was going on here, but we have a problem.”

Dean sighed, “There’s always a problem with you, Cas. What’s going on?”

“It’s about…” He paused and looked at Amanda. “Can we talk in private?”

Amanda sighed and waved them off, then grabbed a beer out of the trunk and walked toward the lake in front of them. There was a wooden dock that looked inviting to her and she strolled to the edge of it and took a seat, then removed her boots and dipped her feet in the water. She needed a minute to think, anyway. She smiled lightly as the fish gently tickled her toes and looked out toward the sunset. As she turned her head to look over her shoulder at the two men talking, she couldn’t help but be curious. Dean was rubbing his temple with his hand as if he was stressed out about something. She wanted to know who, or what, this Castiel was. Then Dean looked over at her and gave her a small smile, then patted Cas’ shoulder; her eyebrows furrowed when he disappeared into thin air. She turned back around when Dean started walking toward her and her stomach began to tie itself in knots; she felt like something was terribly wrong. As he sat down next to her, he chuckled a little and copied her, removing his boots and dipping his feet in the water.

“I guess I should explain some things,” He said quietly as he took a swig of his beer. Amanda looked over at him with worry in her eyes and she lit a cigarette. “Castiel is an angel; I don’t know if you knew they existed or not.”

“Doesn’t surprise me,” She laughed lightly. “What’s wrong?”

“Castiel may have a lead on the demon that killed your parents; he’s not sure, but he said it’s worth checking out.”

Amanda’s eyebrows furrowed, “Why does Castiel know about my parents?”

He could tell she was starting to get angry, “I asked him to look around for us, you know, one more person wouldn’t hurt.”

“Yes, but I don’t know him, Dean. I’ve never met him; how do I know I can trust him?” She shook her head and smiled sarcastically.

“Because you trust me, don’t you?”

“Yes,” There was no hesitation. “But, Dean, you have to understand, I…”

“Look,” Dean looked up to the sky. “I have a confession to make,” He took a deep breath and looked out toward the lake. “I’ve been having Castiel watch over you and check up on you ever since the day I left you, Amanda.”

For a minute, she was silent; just processing everything and she was thinking about it all. It was nice that Dean was worried about her, but he could have just checked up on her himself. But, then again, she hadn’t made any effort to keep in touch with Dean during the year they spent apart. So she wasn’t angry at him, just more creeped out knowing a strange angel-slash-man was following her. “Okay, I get that. But if he’s been ‘watching over me’ and ‘checking up on me’, then where the <i>hell</i> was he when my parents died, Dean?”

“Look, I didn’t know that he knew until after you told me about what happened. I prayed to him that first night you stayed with us and asked if he could help,” Dean held is hands up in defense. “So I have no clue, alright?” After a moment, Dean rolled his eyes and prayed to Cas; and he showed up in an instant. “Cas, you have some explaining to do to Amanda. She deserves it.”

He nodded reluctantly, a look of guilt on his face. “First,” Amanda sighed. “You could have just revealed yourself to me a long time ago,” She rolled her eyes.

Cas shook his head with confusion, “No, I couldn’t. Then I wouldn’t be doing it ‘discretely’ like Dean had asked me to.”

Amanda looked over at Dean, “Seriously?” Dean shrugged. “Anyway, if you were watching over me, then why couldn’t you help my parents?”

He sighed, “I was watching over <i>you</i>, Amanda. Not your parents; but when I saw you had gotten the call about them, I went to their house and looked around. But,”

“Then why didn’t you heal them, Cas?” Dean stepped in with anger in his voice.

“Because, Dean; if demons were already after her parents and I had saved them, they would have just gotten killed anyway down the road. And much worse at that,” Cas shook his head and Dean looked over at Amanda to tell her he was right about that. “Amanda, there’s something you should know about your parents.” Her breath caught in her throat and she looked up at him with panic on her face. “A demon told me; a demon that I can trust; told me that your parents had your brother killed…” Dean’s head shot up and he looked at Cas with disbelief in his eyes, as well as Amanda.

“You’re wrong,” She said calmly but she was trying so hard not to burst with anger. “That demon lied to you; demons lie all of the time.”

Cas shook his head, “Not this one; her name is Meg and she has worked with Dean and I; she would never lie to us.”

“He’s right, Amanda,” Dean had tears in his eyes. “Meg is the only demon we trust. She has a hate for that world,” He took her hand and laced her fingers with his. “Did she tell you why?”

“She has no idea why they did it, but she has a hunch on who could tell us. A demon that works closely with Crowley might know. But I don’t think Crowley did this,” After a long pause, he looked at Amanda. “I’m going to keep looking around, but I suggest you two go to Akron, Ohio. The demon’s name is Rebecca. I’m sorry you had to find out this way, Amanda.”

And then he was gone, just like that. Amanda, for a second, thought about not believing Castiel even though she could trust Dean…and he seemed to trust Meg as well. But then she remembered; she thought back to when her brother was at his worst and her parents talked to him in ways he still didn’t deserve, even in his state. Instead of convincing him to check into a rehabilitation facility or hell instead of turning him over to the police, she overheard them telling him to just kill himself; everyone would be better off. She only heard it once, but that one time was enough for her to feel uneasy about them. They had never talked to her that way…it was like she was an angel and Alex was the devil. So when he died and they ruled it a suicide, she believed them.

Amanda cried as she finished her beer and stood up, putting her shoes on and standing up, taking deep breaths as she looked at the now dark horizon; the sun had set and she could see the reflection of the moon on the lake; it was so beautiful, and she would have enjoyed it more if this wasn’t the best and worst day of her life so far. Her anger was building, and she desperately didn’t want to show Dean this side of her, but it just kept creeping up on her and she figured that if they were going to be together, he needed to see all sides of her. The good, the bad and the downright ugly. This was the ugly. So she let go and threw her beer bottle as far as she could and took off, running toward her SUV. She was thankful the keys were still in the ignition.

“Amanda!” Dean yelled and started chasing after her when he realized she was about to drive off without him unintentionally. She stopped and waited for him to enter the vehicle, but as soon as he put his seatbelt on she sped off toward the hotel; when she was driven, she was focused. But when she was driven <i>and</i> angry at the same time, nothing could stop her. Not even Dean. “Could you slow down, please? You’re going to get us killed.” She said nothing, tears falling from her eyes; she would quickly wipe them away and she wouldn’t look anywhere else but the road in front of her. The whole ride Dean was trying not to anger her more, but he didn’t want her driving like this.

As they arrived at the motel, Dean got out of the car quickly and tried to stop her; he was under the impression that she was going to leave them and go off on her own. Amanda didn’t waste any time opening the door to their room and Sam and Sasha’s eyes went wide as they saw the anger on her face as she stomped to the bathroom. Immediately, their eyes shifted to Dean’s and he shook his head. Sam spoke first, “Did you already piss her off?”

“What? No,” Dean was breathing heavily as he had been running more than his body was used to, “Long story short Castiel just told Amanda her parents had her brother killed and she’s pissed.”

“Obviously,” Sasha had tears in her eyes. “So…what do we do now? That still doesn’t explain who killed her parents.”

Amanda reappeared from the bathroom, “I don’t give a <i>fuck</i> who killed my <i>fucking</i> parents,” She growled. “I’m glad they’re gone after what they did.”

“Then why are you packing all your stuff up?” Sasha walked over to her and grabbed the whiskey bottle out of Amanda’s hands as she was trying to take a swig of it. “Let’s just calm down and relax for a minute.”

“I need answers,” Amanda cried. “Why did they have my brother killed? And why did a demon kill them? It just doesn’t make sense to me,” She sat down on the bed and put her head in her hands. “As shitty as they were to my brother, they didn’t want him dead because of his addiction; I know that much. There had to be something else going on!” After a few moments, she looked down at the bags she had packed and looked back up at Dean. “We need to go to Ohio like Castiel said. We can get Rebecca and get some fucking answers out of her. I can’t do it on my own, Dean,” He nodded and looked over at Sam who nodded along with him.

“Then let’s go,” He said quietly, walking toward the bathroom and gathering his various things he had in there.

Amanda looked to Sasha and brought her in for a hug. “You all can come if you want, but I understand if you want to stay. It’s up to you,” Sasha let a tear fall, feeling sorry for her best friend.

She looked over at Sam, “What do you think?”

He sighed, “We need to go to Kansas City; there’s a small town outside there that has had five murders in the past week. All the same and they all look fishy to me,” Sasha nodded and kissed Amanda on the cheek as she gave her another hug. “Amanda, we will head your way if it turns up as nothing, so when you all get there call one of us and let us know where you’re staying.”

Amanda nodded and picked her bags up, slinging her duffel over her shoulder. Dean walked out of the bathroom then and walked toward Sam to give him a hug. “Take care of each other, Sam. I’ll call you when we get there,” Sam nodded, then walked over to Amanda and gave her a long hug. After they all said their goodbye’s, Amanda quickly walked out the door and to the trunk of her car. She piled everything in and slammed the door, then quickly glanced at Dean as he stood beside the driver’s door. She knew that look so instead of fighting him, she tossed him the keys and hastily walked toward the passenger side. Once she was inside, she put her seatbelt on then quickly checked herself in the mirror of the sun visor, laughing at her mascara-stained cheeks. She shuffled through her purse and found an alcohol wipe, then started rubbing at her cheeks to clean her face off. She looked awful; the puffy eyes were forming and her nose made her look like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. When she was done, she sighed and slammed the visor up toward the ceiling of the car, making Dean jump a bit. He had to admit he didn’t like this side of her; but he couldn’t blame her either, this was tough news to process. So he kept quiet and turned some music on low, then got the pack of cigarettes from the cup-holder and held them out to Amanda. She couldn’t help but smile lightly at the gesture…he knew her too well. She graciously took them and lit one, then rolled the window down slightly. After a moment, she looked over to him, “He didn’t deserve to die, Dean. I know he was doing awful things, but he <i>did not deserve to die</i>,” She was crying again. “I never got to say all the things I wanted to to him and I will never forgive myself for that.”

Dean sighed and took her hand and kissed it, “What did you want to say to him?”

He wanted her to feel relief; that maybe if she said the words out loud she might feel better. And even though Dean wasn’t much of a religious person, maybe, just maybe, he thought Alex might hear those words. “I wanted to tell him I’m sorry,” She said it quietly, almost in a whisper. “For not pushing him harder to get better; for not telling him I love him more. I also wanted to tell him I was so angry at him; that all of this could have been avoided if he had just hung out with the right friends. That if he hadn’t started ignoring me since I turned ten, then maybe he wouldn’t have ended up that way. I wanted to tell him that life with a drug-addict brother is better than having no brother at all. I would take him back just as he was if it meant he was alive. I don’t care that he stole money from my parents and totaled their car; I don’t care that he broke into my friend’s house and tried to steal their stuff; and I don’t even care that he never once asked for money or my help…”

Amanda looked out the window as they sped down the interstate and let a few more tears escape her eyes. She squeezed Dean’s hand and looked over at him…he was crying, too. As she flicked the cigarette out of the window, she calmed down and felt a sudden wave of exhaustion. She let go of Dean’s hand and brought her knees to her chest, then laid her head down on them.

“I just want him back.”