Simple Man

“I wonder how long she’s going to sleep,” Sam said quietly while looking over at Dean, who was intently staring at Amanda, her hair laid flat to one side as she laid on her belly, arms up beside her head. Dean wasn’t even sure she was breathing she was sleeping so deeply. “Should we wake her? I’m pretty pissed off about this demon that killed her parents, too.”

“Yeah, you’re telling me,” Sasha said sadly as she poured herself a glass of water. “But if I know Amanda at all, she probably hasn’t gotten much sleep since we last saw her. She’s very driven.”

“I can tell,” Dean muttered under his breath. Finally, he stood up and walked over to the bed and sat down beside her, staring at her again. Sam and Sasha decided to give Dean a minute alone with her; they were both itching for the two of them to get back together already. Dean was still contemplating on whether or not to wake her; she did look exhausted even when she was sleeping. “Maybe she finally feels safe,” Dean whispered to himself as he brushed some hair behind her ear. After he said that, she started to stir and her eyes slowly opened, then she turned her head a bit and looked up at him. “Sorry if I woke you.”

She shook her head, “It’s okay,” Then she stared off into space, and Dean knew she wasn’t in the best of moods. He couldn’t blame her, though; he knew how it felt – to lose pretty much all of your family and have no one by your side. Dean was lucky he still had Sammy and Bobby.

There were so many things he wanted to say to her, but he couldn’t get them together. He just kept looking down at her, admiring her beautiful flaws and running his fingers through her hair. She smiled lightly at the gesture as it was relaxing her, and she almost wanted to fall asleep again, but she knew she needed to work on finding this demon. She just couldn’t get the motivation to get up and do it.

“Hey,” Dean said softly, and she looked up at him, raising her eyebrows. “I know it’s hard. I know you feel like you have no one, but you do. I know it’s been almost a year since we’ve seen each other and I know you’ve changed a little. And so have I. But I’m still here for you. Always have been, always will be, Amanda.” He took a deep breath and placed a kiss on her forehead. “It’s going to take some time for us to reconnect, you know, but in the meantime let’s go find that asshole that killed your parents.”

“I need to shower,” Amanda sighed, sitting up slowly. Dean waited patiently and smiled as she sighed again. “I just want to lay in bed all day, Dean. I haven’t slept that well in a year. Since the day you left.”

Dean lowered his head, “I’m sorry.”

Amanda’s eyes widened, “No! That’s not how I meant it, at all,” She laughed lightly. “I mean, I feel safe when I’m with you, Dean. I sleep a hell of a lot better, you know.” She finally stood up and searched in her duffel bag for her toiletries, then made her way to the bathroom. “Do you need to shower?”

Dean shook his head, “I’ll go after you, or after we eat lunch. It doesn’t matter to me.”

Amanda looked down at her feet, “Okay.” Then she shut the door, but didn’t lock it in case Dean needed to get in. As she turned on the shower, she looked at herself in the mirror once more and tears welled up in her eyes; she couldn’t believe how much weight she had lost. She wanted to be the Amanda she used to be…not too skinny. She felt horrible about herself, letting it get this bad. The tears started falling, and soon, she couldn’t control herself and started hysterically crying, not caring how much noise she was making. She hadn’t cried this hard in a long time and she needed to.

Outside the bathroom, Dean leaned into the door and pressed his ear against it, listening to her cries. He couldn’t stand seeing her this way, but he had a feeling she had been keeping her emotions bottled up for a while. He couldn’t decide whether or not he should go in and comfort her, but he decided to take the risk, so he opened the door and saw Amanda sitting on the edge of the bathtub, naked, elbows rested on her knees with her head in her hands. He slowly walked toward her and took his shirt off, then his jeans so he was only in his boxers as he sat down next to her and brought her head to his chest. She sighed and didn’t fight it, knowing this was all she wanted anyway.

“Come on,” Dean helped her up and into the shower, then took his boxers off and joined her, just holding her tight as the hot water ran down her back. He helped her wash her hair gently, then helped her rinse it. They switched as Dean started to wash his hair, and Amanda just leaned her shoulder on the shower wall, staring off into space, her arms folded across her chest. Dean couldn’t stand it; he would have done anything to see her smile and he was on the verge of tears because it wasn’t happening. After he rinsed his hair, he turned her so she was under the hot water again and he started washing her shoulders with soap. At one point, she pushed his hand away from her back and pulled him closer to her, wrapping her arms around him and laying her head on his chest. “I hate seeing you like this,” He almost whispered and brought her face up so he could look at her. She made eye contact with him and tears welled up in her eyes again. The only thing that could make her happy now was Dean, and she was determined to keep it that way. So she leaned forward and grabbed his head, then pulled him into a deep kiss that she wanted to last forever.

Dean was head over heels and made the kiss deeper and then coming up for air after a minute. He looked into her eyes and was trying to read her. She seemed to look a little better in his opinion, but he still waited for her to say something as his eyes darted back and forth to hers. Her facial expression didn’t change, but she opened her mouth and grabbed his face with her hands, “Kiss me again.”

He did as he was told and gave her another passionate kiss, this time turning off the shower and helping her out of the tub and wrapping her in a bath towel. He dried her off and smiled at her as she got dressed, then brushed her hair. He was ecstatic that this woman was back in his life and couldn’t contain it. But she kicked him out when she had to use the restroom, then got ready by herself the rest of the time. When she emerged, Dean looked her up and down, getting a little too excited when he saw her low rise black skinny jeans with her brown boots and another crop top. He hated those damn things because it was hard to focus when she was wearing one. Today, her hair was in a side braid and he liked it like that, so he made sure to tell her later so she would do it like that again. He loved that she only wore a minimal amount of makeup; he liked her naturally.

“You are so beautiful,” He breathed as he hugged her again, this time kissing her cheek. “Come on, let’s get some food and talk about this demon.”

Amanda couldn’t help but smile wide as she gathered her cigarettes and little bit of cash and her Ray Ban sunglasses. When she put them on, Dean sighed again, cursing her silently for torturing him.

As they walked toward the diner, Amanda lit up a cigarette and Dean grinned and looked down, trying to hold in his laughter. “What?” She snapped, looking over at him.

“I guess it’s become a regular thing now,” He pointed to the cancer stick and laughed lightly and she just shrugged, taking a hit off it slowly. “I don’t mind. I think it makes you look pretty badass.”

Amanda and Dean arrived at the diner where Sasha and Sam were waiting, already on the laptop researching. Amanda smiled and let Dean slide into the booth first, then she followed. As soon as she sat down, she felt Dean’s hand rest slowly on top of hers and shivers ran up her arm and down her back, causing her to shift slightly in her seat. Dean only smirked at her, then moved his hand to her leg.

“So?” Amanda asked, looking over toward Sam. He looked up at her and gave her a look that told her he hadn’t found anything. “Well, I don’t know where to start then.”

Dean thought for a minute, “It has to be a demon that we know, Sammy,” Sam looked up from the laptop. “I mean, why would a demon want to kill her parents? She had virtually no involvement in this stuff when it happened.” He paused and looked over at Amanda sternly, “Please tell me I’m right.”

“Yes, you’re right,” Amanda sighed then took a sip of her coffee. “Maybe it’s the west coast we need to worry about?”

Sasha spoke up, “I say we let Dean try his hand at interrogating one of the assholes and if that doesn’t work, then we go west,” She shrugged and Sam agreed, then Dean gave Sasha a concerned look. “What?”

He tried not to look at Amanda, “I’m not sure that’s the best idea,” He muttered and she gave him a confused look. “I just – I don’t want her to see that,” Dean lowered his head and grabbed Amanda’s hand.

Amanda laughed, “If you think I’m going to hate you for torturing a demon, then you’ve got it all wrong,” She shook her head. “What do you think I’ve been doing for the past few months?”

The three of them glared at her and Sam was the first to say something to break the silence, “I think we should do it. We can go hunt one down later tonight, then leave tomorrow if we have no luck.”

Everyone eventually agreed and after they ate, Sam and Sasha had said they were going to go take a nap at the motel, leaving Amanda and Dean to wave at them and slowly walk toward their cars. For a minute, Amanda leaned on her Range Rover and smoked a cigarette, exchanging glances with Dean. She could tell he was trying to ask her something, she just didn’t know what. But she was patient and waited for a while; but when she finished her cigarette she put it out on the ground and started walking toward the soda machine. Dean walked up behind her and stuffed his hands in his pockets as he watched her struggling to get the dollar bill in the acceptor. He smiled softly, then gave her a different one, earning a small smile from her. She was so beautiful; he couldn’t stop looking at the way her hair lightly moved in the soft breeze. Finally, he took her hand after she grabbed the soda from the bottom and turned her toward him. She looked up at him and raised her eyebrows, then laughed lightly at Dean’s nervousness.

“You wanna go for a drive?” He asked softly, knowing she knew he wanted to talk about some things. “If not, I understand. But earlier, in the bathroom – I just know that there might be some things you want to talk about.” Amanda thought for a minute, then nodded, looking down at her feet. They both looked between their cars and Amanda smiled, shrugging, telling him she didn’t care which car they took. “Can I – I mean, if it’s okay with you, can I try out yours?” She immediately smiled and nodded, tossing him the keys and walking toward the passenger side. Her nerves started to build, but she still felt so safe around him; she trusted him with her life. “I’ve never driven a Rover before,” He smiled like a child and turned the engine on, then looked around the dash, exploring the features of the SUV, running his hand along the different buttons. “This is so different,” His eyes were wide. “Is that a touch screen?” Amanda nodded and couldn’t help but smile wide at him; he was like a kid in a candy store.

“Here,” Amanda leaned forward and went through some menus on the large screen, then pulled out her phone and brought out her music app and handed the phone to Dean. He looked confused and gave her a questioning look. “Pick any song you want.”

He thought for a minute, then grinned and handed the phone back to her, “Technology is very strange, but very wonderful at the same time,” He laughed and started to drive as Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Gimme Three Steps” blared through the speakers; he looked over at Amanda and observed her nodding her head to the beat and tapping her hands on her knees as she sat Indian-style in the car seat. She was so small, he thought to himself, but pushed it to the back of his mind, making a mental note to talk about it later with her. He wanted to enjoy this moment with her as she sang loudly, smiling wide as she looked out the window at the scenery around them in the small town; her hand was slightly out the window as she felt the wind flow by her and Dean pushed down harder on the gas pedal. He couldn’t help but smile; she was slowly becoming happier and he couldn’t help but think he had something to do with it. As the song ended, he looked over at her expectantly as she lit a cigarette. “You pick a song.”

She thought for a minute and Dean realized how important music was to her; she had to choose the right song at the right moment and it had to be good. She finally decided on one of the most important songs to her and put her sunglasses on to hide her serious look from Dean. Dean had never heard this song before, but if this was the song she chose for this moment, he was going to listen to it and understand her more. Dean rolled his window down as well and looked over at Amanda as she smiled lightly, listening to “Good Love” by The Maine. He could tell this song meant something to her, so he took her hand and laced his fingers with her, earning a wide smile from her.

After that song he picked another one; “Start Me Up” by The Rolling Stones, much to Amanda’s satisfaction; then he told himself that after he let her pick one more song he was going to find a place they could pull over and talk.

As Amanda eagerly waited for the song to end, she started typing furiously on the phone, a wide smile on her face. As the guitar riff started, he looked over at her with a confused face and laughed, “After you played a song like that, this is what you pick? Seriously?” She lifted her shoulders with her hands out and laughed, then started rapping every word of “Berzerk” by Eminem. Dean shook his head with laughter, completely surprised at the girl sitting next to him. He couldn’t help but blush at the way she made him feel; he felt like a kid again and he wanted to feel like this all the time.

The song ended and Amanda laughed, then looked over at him, silently apologizing to him. Dean found a place to pull over, next to a lake, then hopped out of the car with Amanda following close behind. They both sat on the hood of her car and Dean handed her a beer, which she gratefully took from him. There was silence for a few moments before Dean broke it.

“I just want you to know how happy I am that you are back in my life; whether it’s for just a couple of months or forever, I’m happy. I’ve never felt like this with anyone, Amanda. Ever. And I just feel like you should know that,” He looked down and Amanda couldn’t believe how openly he was talking with her. She smiled lightly and he took that as a cue to go on. “With that being said…I care about you, you know that. So as much as I don’t want to, I worry about you,” Amanda lowered her head. “And I just want to know you’re okay. Which, I know, it’s hard for you to be okay right now. I understand that. But I want you to talk to me if something’s bothering you other than the obvious.” When Amanda didn’t say anything, he took a deep breath. “How did you get so skinny, Amanda?”

She knew it was coming, so she didn’t hesitate to respond. “It was strange,” She looked over at him, squinting when the sun came in view of her eyes, “When my brother died, I couldn’t stop eating. It wasn’t so bad to where I gained pounds and pounds, but I just couldn’t think of any other way to cope. Then I picked up a guitar, and I got better,” Dean smiled. “But when my parents died, I didn’t want to do anything for the first couple of months. Yeah, I worked. But my band and crew would ask me to go out with them and I would say no every damn time and I would just go home and…do nothing. I didn’t eat, I didn’t sleep, didn’t watch television. I got most of my routine back after I started hunting, but eating didn’t come with it. I just don’t ever feel hungry; and when I do, I start eating this huge meal and I can’t eat more than a fourth of it. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, Dean. I wish I did, trust me. I wish I could have eaten that burger and fries back there at the diner, or shared that milkshake with you. But I’m just not hungry anymore.” After Dean didn’t say anything, she continued. “I just don’t want you to think that I’m making myself like this, because I’m not. I would never do that to myself on purpose.”

Dean shook his head and took her hand, “I don’t think that. I never have.”

It was Amanda’s turn, “Did you see anyone at all after me?”

Dean sighed and shook his head, “No. I mean, I tried; I really tried to move on, Amanda. But I just couldn’t get you out of the back of my head no matter how much liquor I drank or how many girls I tried to talk to. It didn’t work; and I think that I will never have something like I have had with you.” Amanda blushed and looked down, but Dean lifted her head up by her chin and made her look at him. “I don’t care that you’ve only been back for a day; I have felt the same about you since the first day I met you and even though you don’t look the same, you are the same amazing person that I saw in the coffee shop with those adorable glasses on – which I miss those, by the way – and you’re the same amazing girl who swept me off my feet when you sang The Rolling Stones,” He paused and took her hand. “And you’re the same amazing girl who I would drop everything for; I would die for you, Amanda. And I can’t help but think I have made you just a tiny bit happier since you’ve been here, and you know it’s true.” She nodded and let him continue. Dean hopped down from the hood of the car and stood in front of Amanda, taking her hands in his as tears welled up in her eyes. “Please, Amanda; make me happy again and fill that missing piece of me.” He looked in her eyes and smiled. “Be my girlfriend, please?”

Amanda hopped down as well and leaned her back on the Range Rover, looking up at Dean as he pressed his body against hers. She smiled and nodded, then put her hands on the side of his face and pressed her lips to his gently, then let him deepen it with his tongue a bit. For a few minutes they kissed each other, Amanda giggling every so often and running her fingers through his hair. “Is it too soon to say I love you?” She said softly, pressing her forehead to his and letting a tear fall. “I have loved you since that first night, Dean. When you made love to me,” She looked into his eyes and pulled him toward the back seat of the car, then opened the door and pulled Dean inside with a smile; she started kissing him again and only stopped to lift his shirt over his head; he was truly beautiful, she thought to herself. She ran her hand softly over his abdomen as he kissed her forehead and started to lift her shirt as well. Dean rand his calloused hand over her anti-possession tattoo and kissed her shoulder lightly.

“I love you, too,” He said lightly and smiled wide as they began to make love to each other in the back seat; and Dean wouldn’t have had it any other way.

After they were finished, Amanda blushed as she pulled her jeans back on and put her hair up in a ponytail; she was glistening with sweat which didn’t bother her, and as she pulled her crop top back on, Dean placed another kiss on her cheek as he climbed out of the car and pulled his t-shirt back over his head. There was a quick gust of wind and Amanda’s eyebrows furrowed as she looked past Dean.

“Who the fuck is that?” She asked, pointing behind him; Dean turned around and rolled his eyes, glad that he had decided to show up after the love-making.

He sighed, “Amanda, this is Castiel. Cas, this is Amanda,” He looked over at her and smiled, “My girlfriend.”