The Familiar Taste of Poison

I woke up on the second day of Chiharu living with me and it was probably the biggest mistake of my entire life at the time. Mornings already weren't really my thing, but dealing with a wall of emotion when all you want is some breakfast really took the cake. I rolled out of my bed and ran a few fingers through my long white hair. It was a tangled mess and I really didn't want to care, but I knew Funatsu would pester me about it as soon as I showed up so I forced myself to stand in front of my mirror and make myself look presentable. After putting a yukata on, brushing my teeth, and brushing my hair, I braced myself for dealing with the others that lived with me and walked to the kitchen.
Almost instantly my senses were attacked by all sorts of noise and smells. Breakfast smelled amazing and I knew curry had been made, which was one of my favorites. I felt my heart race in excitement to eat. The noises, however, were not near as inviting. Funatsu was giggling at something Chiharu was saying. She seemed like a completely different person than usual. Her eyes were bright with emotion and she actually looked somewhat attractive. Her smile was sweet and there was a slight blush on her cheeks.
"Good morning, Lady Karin!" Chiharu greeted happily once he realized I had entered the room.. He was seated at the head of the table and his plate was almost empty, so he had obviously been up for a while already.
I really just couldn't be around someone that I knew was going to try and get closer to me than needed. I didn't like Chiharu, I wanted him to stay away, but I also realized pretty quick that he was going to try and be some sort of hero and be the one to break me out of my shell. I couldn't be friends with him. He hasn't seen me fight yet, I was one hundred percent sure he'd be scared once he saw what I could do. He would then go from following me around to watching me out of the corner of his eye to make sure I wasn't going to hurt him. That's how everyone ends up once they see me in action. It was better to just let him know I'm the bad guy before he went to all the effort of trying in the first place.
I felt instantly annoyed and instead of acting like I heard him, I turned to one of the maids waiting to take away the dirty trays. "Have my breakfast delivered to my room." I had to get as far away from my bodyguard as possible. I felt him staring at me, but I continued to look away. I wanted to study his expression, to see the emotions he was feeling, but I knew he would see me as secretly being interested in who he is, which wasn't true at all. I just wanted to be left alone, so I began walking out of the room, but I was stopped by Funatsu.
"Lady Karin, you haven't done much in a while. I'm afraid if you stay hidden in your house for too long the council will lose interest in you. Maybe you should go to the village and see if there's any jobs people need you to do."
I sighed loudly and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Funatsu, there's always a damn job. Someone always wants something from me." I turned to her with an obviously unhappy expression and crossed my arms. "I'll do what I want." then I paused and noticed how panicked she looked and sighed. "I need to kill a few things anyway." Then I exited the room and slid the door closed. I could hear several plates shuffle and then Chiharu's voice. I stuck around for a few moments to hear if they were talking about me. I wanted to hear them call me a monster, because I just knew that's what was happening.
"Chiharu-san, just leave the lady alone. She obviously just wants to be left alone."
I heard a bit more shuffling, then Chiharu. "She just needs a friend. Besides, I'm her bodyguard. I have to be around her. It's what I'm getting paid for."
There we go. That was all I needed to hear. Chiharu didn't care at all about me, all he wanted was money. I quickly skulked off to my room and locked the sliding door. Falling on my bed, I felt tears brim my eyes and I angrily wiped them away. I kept telling myself that I wasn't sad that he didn't care about me. I didn't care about him, why would I care about how he feels about me? Chiharu wasn't a good guy. He was just like everyone else; they don't care about anyone but themselves.
I hated myself for crying. I had never been upset about someone being mean before, so why now? Was there some small part of me that had wanted interaction with Chiharu? I violently shook my head and growled super loud. I was stupid. One person pretends to be nice to me and everything falls apart.
I continued to cry. I picked up one of my biggest pillows and hugged it with all my strength. It was the best pillow to hug because it was roughly the size of a person, and it made me feel somewhat normal. As if I had a big family and lots of friends and they loved me despite my destructive nature. I wasn't a monster.
Ever since I was little people avoided me. A nice old human lady raised me, but she died when I was little because she just got too old. Her health wasn't the best because she was poor and if I had understood that at the time I would've done everything in my power to make sure she had what she needed. I would've killed, stolen, hurt, or scared anyone I needed to for her, but unfortunately, I was just a dumb kid that everyone hated.
I think about that old lady a lot. She didn't speak the common tongue very often. She spoke a human language and taught it to me, but made sure I knew how to communicate with everyone around me as well even though no one spoke to me. She spoke Japanese and said that she died on Earth and came to the World of Two Souls instead of heaven because the gods were giving her a second chance at doing good things in life instead of bad. I'm still not sure if that was true or not, but she was a nice woman in her second life so I hope she's enjoying heaven.
After my thoughts of my childhood ended, I felt less upset than I did at the beginning, but I still couldn't stop the tears from trailing down my face. I hugged my pillow a bit more tightly until I heard a knock on my door. It must've been my maids with my breakfast and I was really hungry. I quickly wiped my face and approached my door. I slid it open really quick so I could grab my breakfast and go before anyone saw me. The maids always knew to leave the tray at my door and leave as quick as possible, so I should've been alone.
As I slid it open, not only was my tray of breakfast not on the floor, but Chiharu was there as well. He was smiling down at me with his sweet face and I tried to close the door immediately, but he put his foot in the door. I felt a surge of anger throughout my body and I glared at Chiharu with all of my might. He really did not know when to stop. I opened my mouth to yell at him, but he quickly spoke first.
"I brought you your breakfast, Lady Karin!" Chiharu said and handed the tray towards me. I didn't take it and instead sighed to show my discontent.
"How did you know this was my room?" My heart stopped for a second when I asked that question. Did he follow me? Did he hear me crying?
Chiharu's cheeks reddened slightly as he smiled softer this time. "well, I feel as though it's kinda rude to ask you this, but did you know that you have a second soul? The soul of an animal, nonetheless."
I just stood there, giving him a look that said "No, I'm dumb." He understood quite fast and continued talking.
"Well, the animal soul I was given is a wolf."
I popped my head up quickly when he said that. "You're a wolf?" I asked before I could restrain myself. Chiharu jumped in surprise at my sudden accidental interest.
"Yeah, sorry to sound creepy, but I followed your scent to this room. It's very distinct." His face grew more and more red and he shuffled his feet in embarrassment.
"Well, congratulations, you sounded really creepy. Keep your nose to yourself, dog." I said quickly and tried to shut the door again, but his foot was still in the way. "Also, move your damn foot. I don't want to be around you." Chiharu shook his head.
"We should talk while you eat breakfast. You look like you've been crying, did something happen?"
He knew I had been crying, which is what I had feared the most. I hissed and glared deep into his eyes. "Chiharu, I don't want to eat breakfast with you. I don't want to know you. Get your foot out of my door before I detach it from your body and eat it along with my curry."
Chiharu still refused to move. He looked back at my glaring eyes with an expression of determination. "How am I supposed to protect you if you don't want to be near me ever?"
I balled up my fist slid the door all the way open. "Listen here." I hissed demonically. "You think you're some hotshot because you were hired to protect me? Guess again." I walked towards Chiharu, and he took a few steps backwards. "The council of Youkai sought me out because of my individual power. You will not be protecting me because I don't need you to. I can take care of myself. You were hired because that's what the council wants, not because I'm scared of anything. So go try and be the hero somewhere else, because no one cares in this house."
It was harsh, I know, but he needed to hear it. He needed to stop that stupid act. It was getting old, especially since I knew for a fact all he truly cared about was money. It only hurt me the more he kept pretending he cared.
Chiharu frowned for a few moments before he said anything. Then he gave me the kindest smile I had ever seen before. It made me feel warm all over and for some reason I didn't feel angry anymore. Why did he do this to me? Did he know that would happen when he did it?
"Lady Karin, someone has hurt you in the past. I know that now." He paused and walked towards me, still giving me the warm smile. "All you need is to open up and make at least one friend. That friend could be me. Depend on me, please. I know you need someone to --" Suddenly, with those words, all my anger had surged again. Without thinking, I cut him off with a swift punch in the eye. The tray of breakfast flew out of his hand as his back hit the wall behind him. Food splattered all over the floor, but I was too mad to care. Despite his calming smile, telling me I needed someone to do anything just pissed me off all over again.
"I don't need shit from you!" I screamed and stormed off to any location I could find that would get me away from that idiot. My mind was in a frenzy. I was so mad at myself for being calmed by his stupid smile. I convinced myself that Chiharu did that to everyone that didn't trust him. He wasn't a wolf, he was a snake.
I found myself in the bathroom. I always took showers when I was having extra bad days. The hot water relaxed my muscles and cleared my mind.
I curled up on the floor of the giant bathroom and turned on one of the shower heads. The water hit my head and ran down my back and chest. I was so angry, but I could already feel myself calming down now that the water was on me. I lost myself in thought for quite a bit of time as the room filled with steam and the sounds of water hitting the floor. I decided to take a bath after my shower and turned the faucet on and waited for it to fill up.
“I just don’t get it” I said to myself. “Why the hell is this guy, in my head, so different than everyone else? Was it because he wasn’t ugly? Was it because he tried so hard to seem friendly?” I didn’t know, and my head was starting to hurt from constantly thinking about Chiharu and trying to figure him out.
The bathtub was halfway full and I stepped inside and squeezed some soap into the water. Bubbles formed quickly and the room filled with the scent of vanilla. I wished I could just stop or he would go away, but I knew the council was never going to get rid of Chiharu and I also knew that I would probably never stop thinking about him as long as he was here.. The tub was almost full, so I turned the faucet off and laid back so only my nose and eyes were above the water. I closed my eyes and released a relaxed breath.
Then there was a knock on the door and my eyes slowly opened. I didn’t say anything in hopes that whoever was trying to bother me would go away. Then I heard a soft “Lady Karin..” and I knew it was Chiharu.
“Are you trying to peek at me in the bath, you pervert?” I mumbled and settled back down.
“No, I just wanted to apologize.. I was way out of line and I’m sorry. I really hope you can forgive me.”
I rolled my eyes and stood up and grabbed a towel. I dried off and halfheartedly put a yukata on and opened the door. Chiharu’s eye’s widened and he quickly fell to his knees in a deep bow. “Please forgive me, my lady!”
“You know, I could’ve killed you.” I said, peering down at him. Chiharu lifted his head and stared at me. He stared at me all the time and I always felt as if he’s looking at some food crumbs on my face and judging me.. His eye was swollen and black and his expression was curious. I could tell he was waiting for me to finish. “I should’ve killed you. I don’t like it when people don’t respect me or my rules. If I can’t keep my people that work for me in line, what can I do?”
Chiharu nodded and his face showed a lot of guilt. He actually seemed sorry for what he did, but then again, he did believe I needed him to protect me. I didn’t want to forgive him. I wanted to make sure he knew I hated him more and more each minute I was around him. I wanted him to run away and never show his face to me again. I wanted all these things, but I knew they weren’t going to happen. I already felt myself forgiving him. I cursed myself, but it was no use trying to fight a losing battle. I couldn’t just straight up say I forgave him though.
“You better take care of yourself when we go to the human world tomorrow.”
Chiharu’s eyes lit up. “Human world..?
“I’m going to take a job in the human world. I will watch how you act around the humans and if you draw attention to us, that’s it. I will not give you anymore chances. Go get ready”
Chiharu grew very excited and he bowed once more before running off to whatever room he was staying in. I knew this was a bad idea and I was only going to get hurt more, but I was curious about this guy. I longed to know more about him while I hated him at the same time. I wasn’t too sure what was going to happen in the near future, but I was sort of excited and scared