Haven

"Has she mentioned him before?"

It takes a second for Jared to reply, shifting in the uncomfortable airport chair. Misha was beside him, and he looked just as worried as Jared felt. He felt bad that he had halted production, but Jensen was doing his best in keeping the directors at bay. In a few days' time, plans had been made for both of the girls to have somewhere to stay. Carrie was in Austin because of her job, and Jared had managed to take care of the details for Peyton's job and made flight arrangements. Danneel had taken Carrie into their home without question and one of his and Jensen's mutual friends was scouring the apartment for anything the two girls would need for the time being. Peyton's flight was set to land any time now, and Jared couldn't believe that so many of the people he cared about were moving mountains for a girl that they hadn't even met.

He let out a sigh, trying to calm his nerves the best he could. His hair was starting to get greasy with how many times he had ran his hands through it, and his lips were bleeding because he couldn't stop biting them. "She didn't really like to talk about it. And I mean, we've only been together for a little while, so I don't think she wanted to get into it. I knew things didn't end well, but if I would've realized they were this bad... I don't know, man. I don't know. What the fuck do I do?"

"If I were you, honestly, I'd kill the guy. But without details," Misha shrugged, a hint of a smile on his face before leaning back. "But she needs you. As insane as that is, you're the only piece of sanity she has left besides her friend. I'm just a little sad this is how I get to meet her."

He couldn't help but agree with him there. He had planned to introduce her to everyone after he got back from filming, and if not over the holidays, then at one of the many conventions over the next year. Assuming they lasted that long.

Peyton: I'm sorry that I look horrible and I hope it's not weird that Sammy's with me..

Jared smirked a little at that and shook his head before typing out a reply, standing up to shove his phone in his pocket. Misha stood as soon as he did, walking over to the screen that displayed the flights and time of arrivals. Peyton's had just landed, but it'd be at least another twenty minutes before they'd see her.

"Why're you smirking like that?"

Jared only breathed out a laugh, looking down at his converse. "Peyton's got Sammy with her."

"Sammy?" Misha questioned, raising an eyebrow at the younger man.

"Her, uh...her stuffed elephant."

"Ah," Misha muttered with a smirk, rubbing the back of his neck. He couldn't wipe the smirk off of his face, and Jared felt like there was something he wasn't telling him. "That's adorable."

Jared's mood lifted a little at that, grateful Misha wasn't nearly as judgmental as Jensen was at first. He rubbed at his chin as people started to file out around him and they started walking to the right gate. "Y'know, it really is. She's got this... childlike quality about her, and it makes me feel a lot younger when I'm around her."

The smirk only grew on Misha's face as Jared told her more and he nodded, pursing his lips. "She loves Disney, then? She gets really excited over little things?"

"Yeah," Jared told him, narrowing his eyes slightly as they neared the gate. "Exactly."

When he caught sight of Peyton, he nearly ran forward to meet her. He controlled himself, mostly because the security guard had been giving him dirty looks since he had gotten there. She looked absolutely exhausted, and even though he couldn't see her eyes, he was sure they were red. Her hair was pulled up into a messy bun, and she had sweats on, clutching Sammy to her chest protectively. She only had one bag slung across her shoulder, but from the way she was walking, he could tell she was having trouble carrying it.

Wordlessly, she dropped the bag at Jared's feet, throwing her arms around her neck. Jared wrapped his arms around her tightly, burying his face in her neck. Her shoulders shook a little and it took everything in Jared to keep a level head. Peyton needed him to be strong and to be present; the last thing either of them needed was for him to be angry and trying to figure out ways to kill the man. Not that he would, but Jared would be lying if he said it hadn't crossed his mind after the little that Carrie managed to tell him.

"I'm here, baby. I'm here. It's okay."

When he pulled away, he pressed a kiss to her temple, grabbing the bag before slinging it onto his shoulder, slipping his hand around hers. Misha bent down to pick the stuffed animal from the ground and held it out to Peyton, grinning slightly. "I think this belongs to you."

Peyton only nodded in response before accepting Sammy, burying her face in his chest shyly. Misha only grinned wider at that, as if the simple action had only confirmed what he was thinking. Peyton huffed as they started walking, her bottom lip starting to quiver.

"Jay, I can take the bag from you if you want," Misha offered softly, watching as tears welled in Peyton's eyes.

Jared handed the bag to him slowly in confusion, turning so he could look at Peyton. Tears ran down her cheeks and she let out a small whine, holding her arm out to him. Jared raised an eyebrow at Misha before looking back at Peyton, tilting his head slightly. "Do you want... you want me to carry you?"

She only nodded in response before he picked her up, supporting her weight easily. He shifted her to his hip and wrapped her legs around him in an attempt to carry her easier, letting out a sigh as a few people along the way tried to stop and ask for pictures. Misha was nice enough to decline them politely, but Jared smiled tightly at them, shaking his head. Normally, he would've gone out of his way to be nice to his fans, but tonight was different.

He promised Peyton that things would be okay. He didn't know if he was trying to convince her more or himself.



Jared couldn't remember the last time he had been this tired.
He'd had his therapy session with Janet for the day, he had managed to get a few scenes filmed, and to his amazement, they hadn't had to do more than a few takes. His agent and publicist had been trying to get a hold of him, too, because apparently pictures had leaked from the airport and headlines were already being made. They were doing their best to be damage control, but a big part of the fandom was already on his ass. He figured that could factor in to making him tired, but that wasn't the only reason. He couldn't stop worrying about Peyton.

In the first few days of her being with him, they hadn’t talked much about it. They didn’t have the time or she was sleeping. He was used to waking up every few hours when she screamed and then soothing her back to sleep for a few more hours before the process repeated itself. It was like clockwork.

Janet was the one that suggested they talk and that it was important for them to do so, especially now that they were in a relationship. He knew he probably shouldn't have, either, but he brought up her behavior from the airport to Janet and then again, to Misha. Neither one of them were willing to disclose much information and told him that Peyton had to be the one to do it.

"Mornin'," Peyton told him sleepily as she sat down next to him on the couch, resting her head on his shoulder.

He kissed the top of her head, rubbing her shoulder before taking a sip of coffee, fixing her with a look. "You know we have to talk about this, Peyton."

She sighed as she leaned against the couch, shifting her gaze to the floor. "About what?"

"This," Jared told her softly, gesturing between the two of them. "About all of this. The nightmares, the way you acted... just everything."

When she looked up at him again, he noticed the hurt that flashed across her features. "The way I acted?"

"I didn't say there was anything wrong with it, Peyton. I'm just confused. And you've almost completely shut me out."

"I didn't want you to decide you didn't want me anymore and ship me back off," She told him dryly, clenching her jaw to keep her composure. He turned to face her on the couch, pulling his legs up underneath him.

"I told you that I'm not going anywhere, okay? I just need you to talk to me."

A long silence settled between them before she finally shifted on the couch, trying to keep her gaze on his as she started to speak. He could tell whatever it was that she was about to tell him made her nervous because she kept wringing her hands together and apart, her eyes moving from his face to the couch they were sitting on. She let out a breath, running a hand through her hair. "I'm a little. And I know you probably don't know what that means, so I guess I'll just start with a question. You know what a submissive is, don’t you?"

Jared's lips quirked into a smirk before he nodded slowly. He was friends with Misha, so there wasn't a lot that he wasn't familiar with. "Go on?"

"Littles are a type of submissive. They...we range in age and sex, obviously, just like any other type of submissive. But we tend to act younger, and have 'childlike' tendencies. Well, some of us do and others don't," she let out a sigh as she talked, chewing on her lip, gesturing towards the stuffed elephant sitting on the bed. "And then, some of us like sleeping with stuffed animals and have different ages."

"Ages?" Jared questions, his eyebrows pulling together as he listened.

"Like...regression. Age play. It can range anywhere from a baby up to an older age, like 10 or 11. There's also middles, but that's an entirely different thing. More often than not, we slip into a different headspace when we're stressed or upset or just need the time to be 'little.'"

"Which is what happened the other night?"

"Mhm," Peyton muttered, playing with her hands again. "Sometimes it's just things like that or I'll watch a movie and color or something. It's difficult to explain, and I'm sorry if I'm not making much sense."

"No, it's not that. I'm just trying to wrap my head around it. You're not... when you say babies, you mean when they regress, they'll wear diapers?"

"Some of them," She answered carefully, shaking her head when she noticed the look on his face. "But I'm not necessarily into that. Liam...um, nevermind. But I don't, no. The most I've done was a pacifier, but that’s only because it was comforting. My point is, a lot of it depends on the particular little or person. There's still a lot I have to figure out, but my ages vary most of the time."

Jared shifted in his seat as he listened, running his thumb over his lip. Okay, so there was a lot he didn't know about Peyton, and he didn't know how to feel about it just yet. "Okay, so I know between a lot of other people, I guess, there's a certain power dynamic and rules and things. I'm just a little confused on how that translates over into this?"

"Depends on the people. But the caregiver or Daddy usually has a certain level of dominance over the little or submissive, as usual. It's more of a guiding, nurturing role, though. Respect is still there, rules are still there, and so are rewards. And some people have different levels of power exchange, some people do it in day to day life and for others, it's just a bedroom thing."

"And I'm guessing Liam wanted that control all the time." It wasn't a question because Jared had known the answer.

Peyton winced at the mention of his name but gave a nod of her head. "Yeah. For him, it was less about the caring aspect and more of the control. He abused his power, and because it was my first actual Daddy, I allowed it. I didn't have any other experience with it to know it was wrong. At first, everything was okay. The rules weren't crazy and the punishments I could tolerate. Over time, I had to tell him everywhere I went and I couldn't be out past a certain time. If I didn't let him know that plans changed, I wouldn't be able to sit for a few days. He didn't approve of my friends so I saw them less. I went to work and came home. I had chores and if they weren't done, I'd be punished. I wouldn't have minded that aspect, but the punishment was always a lot worse than it should've been?"

Jared cut her off, his fists starting to turn white as he gripped one of the pillows on the couch. He swiped his tongue across his lip before pulling it in between his teeth, already regretting the answer he was going to get. "So what made you finally say that it wasn't okay? Why did you... you obviously told him it wasn't okay and he still did it?"

Peyton let out a dry laugh, pulling her knees to her chest as she looked at Jared. "After a while, he didn't care. I deserved it, right? Because I shouldn't have been a brat. The first time he hit me, I chalked it up to him getting a little rough, that maybe I shouldn't have gotten an attitude with him. After it kept happening, I told Carrie. He had come over and we talked it through and he swore it wouldn’t happen again. A week later, I remember laying in bed with him. I had gotten my period, and he was pissed at me for something. I don't really remember what it was, then. He had family over and they were in the next room, laughing about something."

Her eyes glazed over and tears started dripping down her shirt, and Jared went to tell her that she didn't have to finish talking, that he knew exactly where it was going, but he couldn't find a voice.

"I had slipped into littlespace around them and he was so mad because they could've found out. He had decided a while ago that sexual punishments would be something that would happen, and I had agreed because it started off innocently enough, as stupid as that sounds. Orgasm denial, I guess, that kind of thing. I didn't want to give him a blow job, and he choked me to the point of me almost blacking out. He forced himself down my throat and when I bit him, he beat the fuck out of me before shoving me into the mattress. I guess I didn't say no loud enough. When he was done, he told me that I needed to learn to be good, otherwise it would keep happening. And I fixed my dress and cleaned myself up, and we went back out to join his family. I stayed with him, even after that, because he had guilted me into it. It took my Carrie and my counselor to basically have an intervention with me to end things. After I did, all he said was okay. And that I had meant nothing to him. I don't know why it bothered me, especially after all the shitty things he had done, but it did. Against everyone's advice, I begged for him back, but he just said that I didn't even deserve a second of his time because I had ruined his life. After a week of no communication, he started to threaten me – Carrie, even. So we left our families behind and ran. And here we are."

Jared didn’t know what to say after she had finished talking. She was wiping the tears away from her face and he knew he should've moved, should've comforted her, but he couldn't do anything. He was a mix of emotions and he couldn't single one thought out above the others because it was a lot to process. "I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry, Peyton. I don't even... I don't even know what else to say other than that."

He ached for her. He couldn't imagine what it took for her to leave, and how many times she had to convince herself that she was doing the right thing in leaving. Kate had fucked Jared up, sure, but nothing compared to the piece of shit that Liam was. The trust that Peyton put in him to take care of her and to just do that?

There was no way in hell that Jared would ever let him get away with that.

"I can't promise that it's not a little new for me, and I know nothing's been established, baby, but I swear that I will never, ever do that to you. You didn't deserve that. No one deserves that, hell, but I just can't understand it. I... I don't know. He was your first Daddy?" Jared asked, wincing at the fact that he referred to Liam as such, brushing the hair away from her face as she settled into him.

She let out a sigh as she nodded, her face still swollen from all of the crying she had done. "And I don't know if I can... I'm hesitant in going into another relationship like that because of him. I didn't even know I could handle a regular relationship with you, but I don't... I hope you won't ever hurt me."

"God, baby," Jared whispered, fighting back tears as he held her. "I won't. I'm going to be everything you need me to be. As a boyfriend or... whatever else you decide, if you decide that."

"Thank you."

Jared let out a sigh as he continued playing with her hair, her breathing becoming slower as she laid against him. As soon as he was sure that she was asleep, he got up with her carefully, moving her back to the bed and tucking Sammy underneath her arm before pulling the blankets around her.

He had a lot to figure out and a lot to process, and he didn't know where the fuck to start.