Haven

Jared's knee was bouncing and he couldn't keep still, though he couldn't decide if it was from nerves or anticipation. He guessed both, but his guess was as good as anyone else's.

He was already in Janet's office, his eyes travelling over the various certifications and awards on the walls. In the corner to his right sat a shelf containing self-help books on just about everything. He would know; he had become well acquainted with the shelf and its contents.

"Sorry about that," Janet told Jared with a laugh as she shut the door behind her, a pad in her hands, taking a seat across from him. "I distinctly remember you telling me that you weren't going to date again."

Jared offered a small smirk at that, pushing his hair behind his ears. "Things change, I guess. People change."

"People grow," she corrected, offering a kind smile. He watched her as she started to write a few things down, looking back up to face him. She didn't have to tell him that she was proud because he knew Janet well enough to know that she was by now. Over the years, she had seen him at every stage, every critical point in his life. He made progress everyday, sure, but he was starting to feel like himself again.

In part because he was in his own element again and he was in his own space. He loved being home almost too much, but his love for acting trumped even that. And even though he didn't want to admit it openly just yet, he was drawn to Peyton. Swearing off love was easy when he was heartbroken and absolutely broken, but the second someone worth opening up to came up, he refused to let it go.

Maybe that was one of his flaws. Maybe he loved too hard, too fast. Maybe he expected the best from people because he couldn't always expect it for himself.

"So you said you two are going for coffee?"

Jared looked up at the question, thankful that it had broken him away from his thoughts. He considered checking his phone again to see if she had second thoughts or cancelled, but he refrained. "For now, yeah. I didn't want to scare her by asking too much. I feel like she's been through a lot and I don't want to push too hard."

Janet nodded at that, a knowing frown on her lips as she listened. Jared noticed it long enough to catch on, and for a second he felt bad for bringing it up. Granted, he figured the younger girl had been through something pretty bad. He just didn't know how bad and the thought scared him.

"It's a good idea. Starting off slow for both of you. I know your nature, and I think that things between the two of you would be good. But I want you to make sure you're doing it for the right reasons and not just because you feel the need to take care of other people. Because sometimes, it gets in the way of you."

He let out a breath, almost rolling his eyes. Oh, he knew he was bad about putting others before himself. Everyone loved to remind him of that anytime Kate was mentioned. "I know, and I'm being careful so far. Swear it."

Janet took that as a hint to move on and she did, throwing questions about travelling again and conventions and acting. Jared reassured her that he was well rested and ready again. Things were going to be different this time as far as he was concerned.

By the time their session was up, he nearly bounded off of the couch and thanked Janet, keeping his homework in mind. He was supposed to journal everyday, so it wasn't too hard, but she wanted him to journal about the date and how he felt before and after.

Nervous.

That was the most prominent emotion for the moment, and he tried to push the nagging thoughts out of his head as he stepped onto the sidewalk, shoving his hands in his pockets. He had made Jensen drop him off earlier and the small coffeeshop wasn't too far from his therapist's office, so walking would be good for him. He was going to end up being entirely too early if he drove, anyway, and he didn't want Peyton to think he was weird.

Did today count as a date? If today went well, he knew he'd ask to see her again, but he didn't know about labels. He could definitely see himself with Peyton because they just worked together, and she was like him in a way that wasn't too much but also different in a way that was refreshing. Then, he was getting ahead of himself.

Today could totally bomb and he could blow it.

That wasn't what he hoped for, but things didn't always go the way he planned.



After half an hour had passed, Jared tried calling to see if she would pick up. He toyed with the device before letting it fall in his lap, staring absentmindedly at his forgotten coffee. She might've just been late to things so he tried not to take it too personally.

When an hour passed and Jared still hadn't heard anything, the feeling in his gut had turned to stone and he pushed away from the table, grabbing his phone and untouched coffee that had long since gotten cold. He didn't know how he felt about being stood up yet, but he knew that he was angry that she didn't have the nerve to tell him.

He didn't even look up when someone bumped into him on his way out of the door, but when he heard someone talking, he stopped.

"I'm so sorry. My boss was being an ass otherwise I would've called. I... shit, I feel so bad. Can I buy you another?"

Jared blinked, everything slowly dawning on him. She wasn't standing him up, she was at work. He had almost forgotten that most people had shitty nine to fives that paid next to nothing, but he considered hers a little more so because of her uniform.

"No," He was quick to answer, the corner of his mouth turning up a little. "I'm buying. But only because I feel terrible for you."

Her eyebrows pulled together and she opened her mouth to protest before he grabbed her lightly by the elbow, pulling her over the counter. He asked, or demanded, rather that she order whatever she wanted. As soon as they had their drinks, a coffee and milkshake, respectively, he led her over to where he was sitting earlier.

"Just to be clear, I only feel bad for you because of the uniform. You almost look like you're in school."

She rolled her eyes, playing with the straw. "Khaki pants and a button down is that bad?"

"Not bad, just boring."

"Retail is boring," Peyton quipped, letting out a laugh as she mixed the whip scream into the shake. Jared scrunched his nose up as she did that, letting out an exasperated sigh.

"You mix your whipped scream into your shake and you work in retail. Anything else that I should know?"

"I still sleep with a stuffed animal and I binge on shows that have been cancelled because I love to torture myself."

He let out a laugh, shaking his head. "What's his name?"

He figured that if she still slept with it, it had to have a name. And if it didn't, he was convinced it wouldn't work. Based on principle.

"Sammy."

He only grinned, taking a sip of his coffee. "Damn, I'm beginning to think you're just after me because of the show."

"Actually, I'm more of a Cas girl," she said with a smirk. She stared at him with a smug expression, ducking when he threw a sugar packet in her direction.

"Traitor."

The more they talked, the more Jared was starting to realize he was already planning ahead. He knew the basics now: her favorite color, what foods she liked and absolutely hated, the music she listened to and what she did for fun. In return, he had offered just as much.

"So I guess it's just because you were at work, but I think something's missing," Jared finally decided to bring up, folding his hands in front of him on the table.

She blushed, pushing the hair out of her face before she laughed, mimicking his actions. "Maybe it was because of work. Maybe it was because I'm a very forgetful person. Maybe... you'll never know."

"Oh, I'll get it out of you, kid. Just wait."

"I'm pretty impatient," Peyton told him bravely. But as quickly as she had said it, she seemed to retreat into herself, a shy smile playing on her lips as her face turned pink.

"You know what that means, right?" He had started to ask, tossing his drink in the trash as he stood up, a hand on the small of her back as he led her outside. He didn't wait for a response as they stood on the sidewalk, burying his hands in his pockets again. "Means we'll have to do this again."

"Or we could go get it," Peyton suggested, a hint of color still on her face. "I mean, if you don't have plans? I could cook or something since you paid for coffee, but I mean, it might be too sudden or whatever. Only if you're okay with it? I just--."

Jared cut her off with a laugh, sensing that she thought she had pushed the envelope. Strangely, he didn't feel like it would be. He liked being around her and she was the one to suggest hanging out afterwards. "That sounds nice. But only if you drive."

If coffee hadn't been a date, he guessed this was certainly going to be.

"Deal."