Why Don't I Like Girls Anymore?
1
Tuesday 16th March, 2006
8pm
I've just seen a girl for the first time.
No, that isn't what I mean. I've seen girls before. They're at my school. I have a little sister. One of my best friends is a girl.
What I mean is... I saw one... that is... topless.
This is making me cringe.
Most guys would be happy, if not proud, of this event and when I first saw her I thought I would feel the same way. Excited, worked up, interested. In a sexual way, I mean.
But... I felt nothing. Oh, except that I felt sorry for her. Nobody wants to be seen unawares in their underwear. However, at the time I was worrying too much about my own reaction, or lack of one, to think about her.
In fact, now I think about it, it was Cathy's own fault. Cathy is my next door neighbour and a girl in my class at school. It just so happened that she was changing her t-shirt and had forgotten to close the curtains on her brightly lit room when I walked into my similarly bright room and we both were facing each other and the whole embarrassing thing took place.
I still feel sorry for her though. I think she'd want the guy seeing her topless to be cool and preferably her boyfriend, not her scrawny next door neighbour. She never liked me anyway. I can still remember her throwing dirt at me over the fence dividing our houses when we were both seven. She had an accurate aim.
Anyway, back to the main point of this entry. Why did nothing happen to me? Not an erection... nothing. Maybe there's something wrong with me. Perhaps I have one of the many diseases we always had to endure the company of in P.S.H.E
Perhaps I just don't like Cathy in that way. I don't see why not - she's argumentative and I find her annoying, but that doesn't stop physical attraction. And physical wise, she ticks most boxes. Oval shaped face, clear skin, pretty chocolate brown eyes and hair. She has the curves in all the right places that most men would like. I don't see why seeing her wearing only a purple lacy bra wouldn't get me excited, right?
Obviously my body thinks differently.
9pm
I heard the roaring of an engine outside so opened my curtain slightly, which had remained as a block from Cathy's window to stop further embarrassment, to see what was going on. I saw Cathy getting onto the back of a dark blue motorbike and put her arms around the back of some muscly looking guy in a black leather jacket, who must have be her boyfriend.
Perhaps he will see the lacy bra that I have seen tonight. I wish him good luck, seeming as he'd probably enjoy it a lot more than I did.
11.30pm
I'm thinking about a trip to the doctor's tomorrow... curse my paranoia.
8pm
I've just seen a girl for the first time.
No, that isn't what I mean. I've seen girls before. They're at my school. I have a little sister. One of my best friends is a girl.
What I mean is... I saw one... that is... topless.
This is making me cringe.
Most guys would be happy, if not proud, of this event and when I first saw her I thought I would feel the same way. Excited, worked up, interested. In a sexual way, I mean.
But... I felt nothing. Oh, except that I felt sorry for her. Nobody wants to be seen unawares in their underwear. However, at the time I was worrying too much about my own reaction, or lack of one, to think about her.
In fact, now I think about it, it was Cathy's own fault. Cathy is my next door neighbour and a girl in my class at school. It just so happened that she was changing her t-shirt and had forgotten to close the curtains on her brightly lit room when I walked into my similarly bright room and we both were facing each other and the whole embarrassing thing took place.
I still feel sorry for her though. I think she'd want the guy seeing her topless to be cool and preferably her boyfriend, not her scrawny next door neighbour. She never liked me anyway. I can still remember her throwing dirt at me over the fence dividing our houses when we were both seven. She had an accurate aim.
Anyway, back to the main point of this entry. Why did nothing happen to me? Not an erection... nothing. Maybe there's something wrong with me. Perhaps I have one of the many diseases we always had to endure the company of in P.S.H.E
Perhaps I just don't like Cathy in that way. I don't see why not - she's argumentative and I find her annoying, but that doesn't stop physical attraction. And physical wise, she ticks most boxes. Oval shaped face, clear skin, pretty chocolate brown eyes and hair. She has the curves in all the right places that most men would like. I don't see why seeing her wearing only a purple lacy bra wouldn't get me excited, right?
Obviously my body thinks differently.
9pm
I heard the roaring of an engine outside so opened my curtain slightly, which had remained as a block from Cathy's window to stop further embarrassment, to see what was going on. I saw Cathy getting onto the back of a dark blue motorbike and put her arms around the back of some muscly looking guy in a black leather jacket, who must have be her boyfriend.
Perhaps he will see the lacy bra that I have seen tonight. I wish him good luck, seeming as he'd probably enjoy it a lot more than I did.
11.30pm
I'm thinking about a trip to the doctor's tomorrow... curse my paranoia.
♠ ♠ ♠
If you don't know what P.S.H.E is, it's a lesson I get at my school. I can't remember what it stands for, but it's that annoying lesson where you learn about sex, bullying, money managing etc. and watch crap videos from the '80s about various problems. That is the best description I can be bothered to give :p