Why Don't I Like Girls Anymore?

24

Tuesday 6th April

11am

Due to all the travelling I can't even be bothered to get up yet. I've made a compromise by writing in bed.

Much to Julian's disappointment (and mine) I had to leave only a short while after seeing him because my mum was practically shouting at me down the phone to get home.

It wasn't her usual shouting (livid and tetchy). I couldn't decipher how she was feeling. One minute she was normal, another angry and then strangely excited.

I should have suspected something. I know, and have for years, that mum's mood fluctuates rapidly when she wants to tell me something important. I just didn't realise it yesterday, too wrapped up in my own thoughts.

She told me after Katie had gone to bed. Straight after, which made me nervous.

The only kind of talk she normally couldn't say in front of Katie was... sex talk.

My mother trying to talk about sex is both hilarious and disturbing at the same time, which doesn't make it a comfortable situation. I much prefer hearing about it from the school nurse.

That's why I was poised to make my escape, one hand on the door handle, when she said those ominous words.

'We need to talk.'

I just nodded, frozen to the spot, my eyes wide like a rabbit with a gun pointed in its direction.

'You see, Simon, I have a boyfriend.' she said, smiling at me.

My grip on the door handle loosened as I began to comprehend what she was saying.

She wasn't talking about my love life.

She was talking about her own.

My mother had a boyfriend.

I only spoke after a few minutes of awkward silence.

'What's his name?'

'Rick.'

Rick. The image I got was of a balding man with an overdone tan and crinkly eyes. Rick, the man at barbeques who did all the grilling with a stupid apron on. Rick, the man with a cheesy smile and a matching sense of humour. I could be wrong, but you can't ignore gut feelings.

'How old is he?'

'42.'

A bit younger than mum. That was alright.

'What does he do?'

Mum laughed a bit at this one.

'He's an accountant.'

My image of him changed slightly. Now he now dressed more smartly, and wore glasses when reading or watching television. He liked to watch golf on a sunday. He no longer had a sense of humour.

'Anything else I ought to know?'

'He's coming over for dinner tomorrow.'

'Tomorrow?' I kept my voice distant, mild, as if I didn't care. 'Well, now I'll get to meet him.'

I did care. She only told me about him the day before? Only gave me one day to prepare?! Now I'll have to meet him tonight after only learning of his existence the night before. I haven't even processed this in my own mind yet, let alone worked out how to act towards him.

I said none of this to mum.

'Does Katie know?'

'Not yet.' Mum said sheepishly. 'I'm planning to tell her a bit later, once she's more used to Rick being around.'

Being around. Great. What if I didn't want this Rick guy to be around?

'That sounds like a plan.' Now my voice had gone from calm to overly cheerful. It sounded fake to my own ears, but obviously mum was just relieved to hear that I wasn't angry.

I was only slightly angry.

'Okay then. I'm so glad you're alright with this!' She beamed at me before picking up the phone and going into the kitchen. Obviously she was phoning Rick to tell him he'd passed the first stage of being admitted into the family.

It was like we were an obstacle course. If Katie or I didn't like him, he would trip up.

It gave me a strange sense of power.

I just retreated to my room before she got any ideas and tried to pass the phone to me.

Once in my room, I decided that it was about time that I looked at my inbox.

There were four e-mails from Julian, each one more concerned and worried than the last.

Then there was an e-mail from dad, of all people, hoping that I would feel better soon and that I could visit again whenever I wanted to.

I felt like crap.

That night I went to sleep after a long time turning and tossing restlessly.
♠ ♠ ♠
... ahaha, sex talk.

:P