Scared of Love

Max hadn’t slept much last night his thoughts had been whirring with what had happened yesterday between Tilly and him. He couldn’t help the incident from replaying in his mind over and over again. It was only a brief kiss but as soon as their lips touched his heart soared and he felt a smile spread across his face. He knew from the way the dark skinned woman beside him had tensed up it had been an accident and instantly he felt awkward.

He had stammered an apology before walking off leaving her standing on the front step of her apartment. Max had wanted to say more but he knew that if he had it would have only become more awkward and he couldn't bare that so he simply chose to walk away.

He wasn’t sure if that was the right thing to do but he panicked and it was the best he could think of.

His alarm blared through his room but he had been watched the numbers tick over, he knew it was coming, slamming down his hand he silenced it. Rolling over he pulled his blankets over his head and closed his eyes that were now burring with fatigue. Finally after twenty-four hours he could feel himself drifting off. That was until the alarm blared again groaning he slammed his hand down once again and pulled himself up into a sitting position. Rubbing his eyes he knew he had to get to work soon but he was seriously debating calling in sick.

That was when his phone dinged.



He laughed at the message, his roommate Jason was already telling him to get up. It was only because Max’s alarm woke the blonde haired male up as well which he hated as he spent his nights working as a bouncer at bars. Starting at eight and not finishing till early hours of the morning.



Max’s phone dinged again.



Rolling his eyes he lugged himself out of his bed grabbing his uniform and heading toward the bathroom but not before pounding nosily on his roommates door which caused the sleeping male to curse loudly at Max. Laughing he continued to the bathroom making as much noise as possible just to annoy Jason.

As he stood under the spraying water his thoughts lingered back to yesterday and the event that occurred, he knew he would see Tilly again today and he really hoped and prayed that it wouldn’t be awkward. He would act as normal as he could but he wasn’t sure how she would act.

The truth was that for a while now Max had had strong feelings for the female, he had kept them to himself because he knew that she was scared of love, scared of falling in love, scared of what could happen. She had been hurt before and the male understood her fear he did, really, but he also wanted to show her that he wasn’t anything like the last guy she had dated. He wouldn’t hurt her the way he did.

Max didn’t need money to be with her. He loved her company, the way the two of them joke and laugh at one and other. The things they talk about and how open they can be with one and other. The nights when the two of them don’t have the energy to do anything so instead they curl up together on the couch and watch funny movies. Or the times they do go out and Tilly dresses in the most beautiful outfits that cause his heart to race and his palms to sweat.

He wanted to take her into his arms and kiss her like there was no tomorrow, show her how he really feels for her and to tell her the three words he has been holding back for two years now, however he is once again scared that if she doesn’t feel the same way and he has just expressed everything to her making him an open book and vulnerable he would have just made a complete idiot of himself.

Maybe it was better he kept everything the way it was and allowed time to run it’s course and see where the two end up.

Stepping out of the shower he got ready for his shift at the cafe before heading to the kitchen for breakfast.

He would see Tilly later that day.

He was picking her up for class.