And Love Said No
Part One
She scrolled through her phone as she waited, taking sips of her steaming coffee now and again. An email notification popped up, and she opened the message. It was a deadline reminder from her agent, and Esme cast aside the email. Her mind was too distracted right now to think about her manuscript that was due in two weeks.
She looked around the deserted coffee shop. The barista wiped the counters and went into the kitchen, leaving Esme the only one in the room. She sat in the corner at the table furthest from the doorway, hoping that the secluded spot would lend her some privacy from passersby.
“Late, as always.” she muttered and drummed her fingers on the table.
The Helsinki air was thick and foggy, mirroring the clout she felt. The past couple of days had been difficult, and she desperately wanted to escape the country. Everything here reminded her of him. And whenever she thought about him, she undoubtedly remembered what he had done.
“Sorry, I got–I hope you weren’t waiting long, Es.” he sounded a little out of breath. She saw his scuffed Converse shoes and followed his contours up to his shoulders.
“Just a few minutes. I ordered your usual.” She motioned to the cup in front of her.
He tried to read her, but she wouldn’t meet his gaze. “Thanks.” He slid into the booth opposite her.
Esme shut her eyes to collect herself and opened them to see his shaking hands. He drank a bit of his black coffee to steady himself.
“I, um, I’m glad you agreed to meet with me.” Ville started hesitantly. “Though I would have preferred if you had just come home.”
“You know very well that I won’t come back there.” As much as she tried to hide her emotions, her voice, deep and hoarse from crying, gave her away.
“Where are you staying now?” he adjusted his beanie.
“At a hotel.” she said curtly.
He knew he wouldn’t get more out of her: she didn’t want him to show up at her hotel room all of a sudden, trying to romance her back into his arms. The two remained silent, though she was chewing a hole through her cheek.
“I just wanted to explain what happened.”
Her eyes flicked up to meet his. “I’d rather not hear the details of what you and your ex-girlfriend did, thank you very much. The image of you two under the covers was clear enough.”
“Esme, sweetheart, it was a mistake. I just… I wasn’t handling my anger well. I did something so stupid because of our fight, and it just got so out of hand.”
“You want me to forgive you?” she asked incredulously. “We were fighting about what we wanted for our future together, but you’re right: that certainly gives you the right to bring another woman to our bed.”
Ville bit his lip, knowing that he didn’t have much he could say. “It was a mistake.”
“Fool me once…”
His eyes widened in panic. “What?”
Esme looked down at her hand. The diamond ring twinkled even in the dim lighting. It was beautiful. Ville had known just what to get her: a diamond flanked by two black stones. She tugged it off her left hand and set it on the table between them. It screeched as she pushed it toward him.
“No, no – Please don’t do this, Es.” He caught her hands and intertwined their fingers. “Baby, I’m sorry. Please.” He peppered her hands with kisses before holding them at his lips. His eyes brimmed with tears. “I love you. Please forgive me.”
“I love you, too.” Esme admitted. “But it’s not that simple.”
“Just say that you’ll give me another chance. You can’t give up on us that easily.”
Esme pulled her hands from his grip and wiped away her tears. “It’s not going to be easy, but it’s what I have to do. I can’t be with someone who runs off to someone else’s arms whenever things get difficult.”
“Not whenever things get difficult! This is the first time it’s happened.”
“It shouldn’t have happened at all, Ville. Don’t you see that? This – what you did broke years of trust, and you can’t just recover by apologizing.”
“But if–”
“No. I’m not going to set myself up to get hurt again, I can’t–” she sniffled. “I can’t be with you. I want to but I can’t.” She stood up and wiped her face once more.
“You’re going to walk away from the past four years just like that?” he quipped as a final attempt to get her to reconsider.
“I don’t know. Did you think about what you were doing to our relationship when you got in bed with her?” Without waiting for an answer, Esme grabbed her belongings, her knees buckling underneath her.
“I’m sorry,” Ville croaked, but she was long gone.
She looked around the deserted coffee shop. The barista wiped the counters and went into the kitchen, leaving Esme the only one in the room. She sat in the corner at the table furthest from the doorway, hoping that the secluded spot would lend her some privacy from passersby.
“Late, as always.” she muttered and drummed her fingers on the table.
The Helsinki air was thick and foggy, mirroring the clout she felt. The past couple of days had been difficult, and she desperately wanted to escape the country. Everything here reminded her of him. And whenever she thought about him, she undoubtedly remembered what he had done.
“Sorry, I got–I hope you weren’t waiting long, Es.” he sounded a little out of breath. She saw his scuffed Converse shoes and followed his contours up to his shoulders.
“Just a few minutes. I ordered your usual.” She motioned to the cup in front of her.
He tried to read her, but she wouldn’t meet his gaze. “Thanks.” He slid into the booth opposite her.
Esme shut her eyes to collect herself and opened them to see his shaking hands. He drank a bit of his black coffee to steady himself.
“I, um, I’m glad you agreed to meet with me.” Ville started hesitantly. “Though I would have preferred if you had just come home.”
“You know very well that I won’t come back there.” As much as she tried to hide her emotions, her voice, deep and hoarse from crying, gave her away.
“Where are you staying now?” he adjusted his beanie.
“At a hotel.” she said curtly.
He knew he wouldn’t get more out of her: she didn’t want him to show up at her hotel room all of a sudden, trying to romance her back into his arms. The two remained silent, though she was chewing a hole through her cheek.
“I just wanted to explain what happened.”
Her eyes flicked up to meet his. “I’d rather not hear the details of what you and your ex-girlfriend did, thank you very much. The image of you two under the covers was clear enough.”
“Esme, sweetheart, it was a mistake. I just… I wasn’t handling my anger well. I did something so stupid because of our fight, and it just got so out of hand.”
“You want me to forgive you?” she asked incredulously. “We were fighting about what we wanted for our future together, but you’re right: that certainly gives you the right to bring another woman to our bed.”
Ville bit his lip, knowing that he didn’t have much he could say. “It was a mistake.”
“Fool me once…”
His eyes widened in panic. “What?”
Esme looked down at her hand. The diamond ring twinkled even in the dim lighting. It was beautiful. Ville had known just what to get her: a diamond flanked by two black stones. She tugged it off her left hand and set it on the table between them. It screeched as she pushed it toward him.
“No, no – Please don’t do this, Es.” He caught her hands and intertwined their fingers. “Baby, I’m sorry. Please.” He peppered her hands with kisses before holding them at his lips. His eyes brimmed with tears. “I love you. Please forgive me.”
“I love you, too.” Esme admitted. “But it’s not that simple.”
“Just say that you’ll give me another chance. You can’t give up on us that easily.”
Esme pulled her hands from his grip and wiped away her tears. “It’s not going to be easy, but it’s what I have to do. I can’t be with someone who runs off to someone else’s arms whenever things get difficult.”
“Not whenever things get difficult! This is the first time it’s happened.”
“It shouldn’t have happened at all, Ville. Don’t you see that? This – what you did broke years of trust, and you can’t just recover by apologizing.”
“But if–”
“No. I’m not going to set myself up to get hurt again, I can’t–” she sniffled. “I can’t be with you. I want to but I can’t.” She stood up and wiped her face once more.
“You’re going to walk away from the past four years just like that?” he quipped as a final attempt to get her to reconsider.
“I don’t know. Did you think about what you were doing to our relationship when you got in bed with her?” Without waiting for an answer, Esme grabbed her belongings, her knees buckling underneath her.
“I’m sorry,” Ville croaked, but she was long gone.