And Love Said No
Part Four
“I can’t believe you, Esmeralda.”
“Calling me by my full name doesn’t scare me, Jussi.” She stuck out her tongue at the screen.
“You’ve been going to Helldone for years. It’s tradition. And you’re gonna stop it because–why? Because Ville is gonna be there?”
“My ex-fiancé is gonna be there.”
“Minor technicality. And besides, you two were friends first… for nearly 15 years before that. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”
“Yeah, but that was when he was traveling and Helldone was the only way to stay connected because the motherfucker refused to keep up with the digital age. Now I don’t have any reason to talk to him.”
He rolled his eyes. “Okay, forget Ville. What about me?”
“What about you?” she asked, missing his point entirely.
“Don’t you miss me?”
Her lips spread into a big, teasing grin. “Oh, do you miss me, Vuori?”
Jussi made a face. “You’ve been gone for like a month.”
“You’re exaggerating. Two and a half weeks, to be precise.”
“You’re despicable. You said this move was temporary, and it seems like you are making yourself at home instead of making a move back here. AND you’re missing new music.”
“You’re releasing new stuff?” Her eyebrows perked up.
“We’re playing new stuff, haven’t recorded it yet.” He muttered. “Anyway, you’re right; you shouldn’t come. You should continue to sulk in Los Angeles.”
“Subtle, Jus.” He didn’t say anything, opting to let the silence persuade her. “Fine. I will be there for some, SOME of Helldone, and I’m staying at your place.”
“Hey, that’s fine by me.”
“If this whole ‘new music’ thing is just a ruse to get me there, I’ll be pissed.”
Jussi started tapping his fingers on his laptop to mimic the drums. “Will you come back here for good?”
“Probably not. I still haven’t heard from my agent or the publisher about the manuscript–I turned it in four days ago–so I don’t know where I stand in the process. It’s probably better that I stay here till it goes to print.”
Jussi sighed and narrowed his eyes. “Don’t run.”
“I’m not, I’m not. I just need the space to… I don’t know. Recharge.”
“But I know you, Es, and–”
“I’m not running, I promise.” her tone hardened for emphasis.
“Okay. I just don’t want you to be alone.”
“No, you don’t want me to be away from you where you can’t keep an eye on me.” she smirked. “And I’m not alone. I have Charlie.”
Jussi cocked his brow. “Charlie?”
“Yeah, she’s this girl I met a couple weeks ago at a bar. Owns a bakery nearby, she’s good company.”
He recognized the look on her face. “Starting something new already?”
“No, no not at all. Just friends.”
Jussi stared intently at her as though the truth was written on her face. Esme shifted in her position and asked, “So what’s going on with you?”
“Rehearsals are pretty good. The bar is picking up now that people are surrounded by the holidays.”
“That’s good to hear. Are you juggling everything okay?”
“Yeah, yeah.”
“Good.”
“Jyrki met a new girl recently and nearly broke his leg over it.”
“What?! What are you talking about?”
Jussi grinned as he pictured the sight. “She was this thin girl, brunette I think–”
“You think?”
“Yeah I wasn’t really paying attention to that part. My eyes were, um, focused south of her face.”
She rolled her eyes. “Get to the leg-breaking.”
“He left the bar with her, drunk off his ass, and–”
He was interrupted by the sound of Esme’s cellphone. She reached across the bed and looked at the caller ID.
“Uh, Jussi, I’ll call you back. This is my manager.” Esme said as she answered the call. “Hey, Dan.”
“Okay, bye, love you.” Jussi replied, and Esme mouthed ‘love you’ to him.
“Hello, Esmeralda. How are you doing?”
“I’m doing okay. Recovering. The past week was crazy trying to get things done… What did the team think?” She asked as she picked at a loose string on the comforter.
“You know, overall, we really liked it. It felt very natural and flowed well. It didn’t really feel like you were just checking plot elements off a list or anything. Everyone loved the chapter where she’s wrestling all these mixed emotions… It really felt in line with the past books. But um, you know, at the original pitch meeting, you finished the story differently, and well… obviously things change in the course of writing, but you don’t usually write happy endings. What, uh, what changed?”
“Nothing changed really. I just, I was looking to write something different.”
“Yeah, well, I’m sorry to say that this isn’t gonna work. It’s not marketable. Don’t get me wrong, Esmeralda, you have a very loyal following who will support you, but they… I don’t think your audience will be receptive of your desire to explore genres. They need the madness and the chaos, not for things to be wrapped up in a little bow.”
Esme pinched her nose. She knew this was coming. “But the writing is for me, Dan. It’s my escape, it’s my therapy. Shouldn’t I be able to write what I want?”
Dan sighed. “I get it, you’re the talent. And you’re special and we’d love to keep you. But we’re the marketers. Just like you’re good at the writing, we’re good at the selling… We don’t think this is gonna sell–not like the rest of your books.”
“Okay, how long do I have?” she shook her head.
“Three weeks, is that okay? Today is… November 15th. How about the end of the second week of December? It’s the 10th, that’s nearly a month.”
“Yeah, okay. I’ll have something marketable by then.” She knew he was being forgiving by giving her so much time, but she was still bitter. “Bye.”
“Calling me by my full name doesn’t scare me, Jussi.” She stuck out her tongue at the screen.
“You’ve been going to Helldone for years. It’s tradition. And you’re gonna stop it because–why? Because Ville is gonna be there?”
“My ex-fiancé is gonna be there.”
“Minor technicality. And besides, you two were friends first… for nearly 15 years before that. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”
“Yeah, but that was when he was traveling and Helldone was the only way to stay connected because the motherfucker refused to keep up with the digital age. Now I don’t have any reason to talk to him.”
He rolled his eyes. “Okay, forget Ville. What about me?”
“What about you?” she asked, missing his point entirely.
“Don’t you miss me?”
Her lips spread into a big, teasing grin. “Oh, do you miss me, Vuori?”
Jussi made a face. “You’ve been gone for like a month.”
“You’re exaggerating. Two and a half weeks, to be precise.”
“You’re despicable. You said this move was temporary, and it seems like you are making yourself at home instead of making a move back here. AND you’re missing new music.”
“You’re releasing new stuff?” Her eyebrows perked up.
“We’re playing new stuff, haven’t recorded it yet.” He muttered. “Anyway, you’re right; you shouldn’t come. You should continue to sulk in Los Angeles.”
“Subtle, Jus.” He didn’t say anything, opting to let the silence persuade her. “Fine. I will be there for some, SOME of Helldone, and I’m staying at your place.”
“Hey, that’s fine by me.”
“If this whole ‘new music’ thing is just a ruse to get me there, I’ll be pissed.”
Jussi started tapping his fingers on his laptop to mimic the drums. “Will you come back here for good?”
“Probably not. I still haven’t heard from my agent or the publisher about the manuscript–I turned it in four days ago–so I don’t know where I stand in the process. It’s probably better that I stay here till it goes to print.”
Jussi sighed and narrowed his eyes. “Don’t run.”
“I’m not, I’m not. I just need the space to… I don’t know. Recharge.”
“But I know you, Es, and–”
“I’m not running, I promise.” her tone hardened for emphasis.
“Okay. I just don’t want you to be alone.”
“No, you don’t want me to be away from you where you can’t keep an eye on me.” she smirked. “And I’m not alone. I have Charlie.”
Jussi cocked his brow. “Charlie?”
“Yeah, she’s this girl I met a couple weeks ago at a bar. Owns a bakery nearby, she’s good company.”
He recognized the look on her face. “Starting something new already?”
“No, no not at all. Just friends.”
Jussi stared intently at her as though the truth was written on her face. Esme shifted in her position and asked, “So what’s going on with you?”
“Rehearsals are pretty good. The bar is picking up now that people are surrounded by the holidays.”
“That’s good to hear. Are you juggling everything okay?”
“Yeah, yeah.”
“Good.”
“Jyrki met a new girl recently and nearly broke his leg over it.”
“What?! What are you talking about?”
Jussi grinned as he pictured the sight. “She was this thin girl, brunette I think–”
“You think?”
“Yeah I wasn’t really paying attention to that part. My eyes were, um, focused south of her face.”
She rolled her eyes. “Get to the leg-breaking.”
“He left the bar with her, drunk off his ass, and–”
He was interrupted by the sound of Esme’s cellphone. She reached across the bed and looked at the caller ID.
“Uh, Jussi, I’ll call you back. This is my manager.” Esme said as she answered the call. “Hey, Dan.”
“Okay, bye, love you.” Jussi replied, and Esme mouthed ‘love you’ to him.
“Hello, Esmeralda. How are you doing?”
“I’m doing okay. Recovering. The past week was crazy trying to get things done… What did the team think?” She asked as she picked at a loose string on the comforter.
“You know, overall, we really liked it. It felt very natural and flowed well. It didn’t really feel like you were just checking plot elements off a list or anything. Everyone loved the chapter where she’s wrestling all these mixed emotions… It really felt in line with the past books. But um, you know, at the original pitch meeting, you finished the story differently, and well… obviously things change in the course of writing, but you don’t usually write happy endings. What, uh, what changed?”
“Nothing changed really. I just, I was looking to write something different.”
“Yeah, well, I’m sorry to say that this isn’t gonna work. It’s not marketable. Don’t get me wrong, Esmeralda, you have a very loyal following who will support you, but they… I don’t think your audience will be receptive of your desire to explore genres. They need the madness and the chaos, not for things to be wrapped up in a little bow.”
Esme pinched her nose. She knew this was coming. “But the writing is for me, Dan. It’s my escape, it’s my therapy. Shouldn’t I be able to write what I want?”
Dan sighed. “I get it, you’re the talent. And you’re special and we’d love to keep you. But we’re the marketers. Just like you’re good at the writing, we’re good at the selling… We don’t think this is gonna sell–not like the rest of your books.”
“Okay, how long do I have?” she shook her head.
“Three weeks, is that okay? Today is… November 15th. How about the end of the second week of December? It’s the 10th, that’s nearly a month.”
“Yeah, okay. I’ll have something marketable by then.” She knew he was being forgiving by giving her so much time, but she was still bitter. “Bye.”