You Can Drag Me Through Hell

I tap my fingers nervously on my knees and look around the back of the military unimog. I am travelling with Lieutenant Edwards and his team, they are either walking among themselves or have headphones on.

I nibble down on my bottom lip as I see a file placed next to me, ‘Task Force X’ written in large red letters. I look out of the corner of my eye, to see if Lieutenant Edwards is watching me.

Once I see his attention is focused elsewhere, I grab the file and flick through it. My heart drops as I see the team I am meant to be working with, the people I am being compared to.

“Seriously,” I mumble unimpressed, tears forming in my eyes.

Immediately Lieutenant Edwards grabs the folder out of my hands, and tells me off sternly, “You should no be looking at that.”

“I am nothing like those horrible excuses of people,” I exclaim softly, ignoring his comment.

Confused, he watches me intensely while he quizzes me, “Why?”

Licking my lips, I look up at the roof of the unimog and blink away my tears while I elaborate, “I am nothing like those people in the folder. I do not hurt people for pleasure. It hurts to know that is what I am compared to, I never asked to be a metahuman.”

“But you did hurt people,” he exclaims in a monotone, his face showing no emotion.

Shaking my head, I exhale deeply before I inform Lieutenant Edwards, “I have only killed two people. The one and only time I lost control, I killed my boyfriend and best friend. I live with that guilt on a daily basic.”

With my head still leaning against the unimog wall, I look at him, feeling the need to justify, “I was with my boyfriend for 5 years, high school sweet hearts. I walked in on him and my best friend going at it like rabbits. Then to top if off, I find out they have been for the past 3 years.”

I take a deep breathe, attempting to steady my voice as a tear rolls down my cheek before continuing, “He didn’t end things with my because he was scared I would kill him. Apparently that’s what I would do, merely because I am different. I was so hurt and blind sided, for once in my life I lost control of my emotions and that result in their deaths.”

Lieutenant Edward does not say anything, although I can see the sympathy on his face. I wipe my eyes, not wanting my mascara to run and cause panda eyes again, for the second time today.

Licking over my lips, I desperately tell him, “I am not a monster, I swear. I made one mistake and I hate myself for it. They never deserved to die. Please don’t think of me as a monster, don’t put me in the same category as those guys in that folder.”

Placing a comforting hand on my knee, he exclaims, “I have read your file and now I have meet you, I know you are not like them. ”

“Thank you,” I whisper softly.

Playing with my fishtail braid nervously, I close my eyes and claim myself down. I cringe as the unimog goes over a ditch, I bang my head against the wall. My head turns to Lieutenant Edwards as he clears his throat.

I look at his face, I cannot deny how handsome he is. i would go as far as to say, he is the best looking man I have ever seen. I bite down on my lip as I take in all his beauty. He returns my stare and I look directly into his sky blue eyes, causing butterflies in my stomach.

“Tell me, how do you control your gift?” he asks me, hesitantly using the word gift.

Honestly, I explain to him, “My father would teach me multiple breathing and calming exercises. I will often practice centergy. Thankfully, the older I have gotten, the easier I have found it to control my emotions.”

“Your father?” he repeats curious, his eyes not leaving me and a small smile placing on his lips.

Pursing my lips, I look down at my hands briefly before I open up to him, “Yeah, we were very close, he always had my back and told me what I have is a gift. He passed away two days before I found out about my boyfriend.”

“Fuck,” he curses shocked under his breathe, before shaking his head and continuing, “No wonder you lost control, you would’ve been an emotional wreck.”

I look up at him and smile softy, feeling very vulnerable under his glaze. Putting a arm around my shoulders, he pulls me close and reassures me, “Don’t sweat it Liv, past is the past. We have all fucked up at one stage or another.”

Before I reply to his comment, the unimog comes to a halt and Lieutenant Edward stands to his feet. Picking his gun up, he starts barking to his men, looking at me he orders, “Let’s go Liv. You stick with me at all times, got it?”

Standing up, I nod my head and answer, “Sure thing, Ed.”

He smirks at my nickname, he shakes his head with a chuckle. He makes his way out the unimog and jumps onto the ground. I take his lead and jump down next to him, I take in my new environment. There are hundreds are soldiers, military equipment, unimogs and helicopters.

“Wow,” I mumble under my breathe taking it all in, it is starting to hit home.

“Hey,” Lieutenant Edwards exclaims, getting my attention, “Just focus on what we are here to do and stick with me.”