Running From Lions

Things seemed okay between Makenna and I, considering our past. They were a little awkward still, but she didn’t seem angry or resentful toward me. The last time I saw Makenna I told her I didn’t love her. I haven’t seen her or talked to her since. I wasn’t sure if I would ever see her again after that day, but here she was. Then again, maybe the only reason why she didn’t completely hate me was because she had too much else to worry about at the moment.

Still, she knew if she showed up at my door that I would be here for her. I would always be here for her. No matter how many times I lied to her, hurt her, she knew she could still count on me.

I wanted to ask her, why? Why would she still trust me after everything I’ve done to her, after the last time she was here? I couldn’t ask her any of that though. It seemed almost irrelevant now. And making her feel uncomfortable right now wouldn’t be the best idea.

The past few days were long. I blew off dinner with my parents so that Makenna wouldn’t have to be alone at all. She was still scared, and even though she said she was safe here I wasn’t convinced. And I could still hear her crying at night.

“Is there anything specific you want for dinner?” I asked, looking through the fridge. I would have to go grocery shopping sometime soon.

“Anything is fine,” she called from the family room.

I left the kitchen and sat next to her flipping through channels on the TV. She landed on an old episode of The Office and put the remote down on the cushion next to her.

We still didn’t have a plan. For now we were just taking each day as it came, hoping nobody showed up here looking for her. Seeing as I didn’t have very many friends these days, anybody showing up was rare. She still jumped when the pizza delivery guy knocked on the door though.

“Can I ask you something?” She turned towards me.

I nodded.

“How are you?”

I let out a laugh. “What do you mean, how am I?”

“I mean I’ve been here for four days and I have no idea what’s going on with you.”

I shrugged. “I’m fine.” With everything going on with her, who cares how I was?

She wanted to ask me something else but was hesitant.

“What?” I asked. “Just say what you want to say.”

She bit her lip. “Have you been drinking at all?”

I looked at my feet for a short second and let out a small laugh. I couldn’t believe she was worrying about me right now. “Don’t you already know what’s going on around here?” I asked. “Don’t you talk to Pat?”

She shook her head. “Pat won’t talk about you,” she said, “And I haven’t talked to him in a few months. Derek wouldn’t let me. He was convinced there was something going on between us.”

Pat and Makenna? That’s just crazy. They act like siblings. It was even crazier that the two of them haven’t talked at all though.

“Pat didn’t tell you?” she asked, “That we don’t talk?”

I shook my head. “I don’t talk to Pat either.”

“What about the band?”

I shrugged. “We go to practice, we talk about the music. But that’s the extent of it.”

“I’m sorry,” she said.

She was sorry. I had lost all of my friends and from the look on her face she thought she might be the reason why, but she wasn’t. It was my fault, not hers.

“It’s fine,” I said, reassuring her. “And to answer your initial question, no. I haven’t been drinking.”

"That’s good,” she said. “I’m glad you’re okay." Her lips curved upward into a half smile. It was the first smile I had seen since she got here, and even if it wasn’t a real smile it was nice to see.

She was still so different though. Consistently sad. Even when she tried to make it seem like she was fine, you could tell she wasn’t. She was lost in this deep depression. I wasn’t surprised, anybody that has been through what she has might end up this way. But I was angry. Angry that Derek could do this to her. Angry that he tore her entire world apart and that she would never be the same because of it. Angry that I couldn’t do anything about it.