Sunflower Fields

Sitting with her at our lunch table was the highlight of my day... Well I guess it wasn't our table exactly, we shared it with about eight other friends.
"Cassia!" I shouted as she walked up to the table in her flowing gray top and ripped up biker jeans, an unusual hard look for her but she still looked beautiful.
"Hey!" She said as she hugged me around my shoulders. She was sitting next to me, finally a day where some bone headed guy didn't take the spot I always tried to save for her. She smelled faintly of vanilla, she always smelled like vanilla.
I could imagine us getting in frosting fights in the middle of her kitchen and then - wait what? I halted the fantasy spinning in my head. I had a boyfriend. Why was I imagining kissing someone else? "How's everyone doing this afternoon? I made cupcakes!" She said proudly as she pulled a small container out of her backpack. "Chocolate with raspberry filling!" Everyone grabbed one, I was somehow lost in my own thoughts and forgot to grab one. "Don't worry I'll make you special ones later." She whispered, after noticing I didn't have one in hand.
"Okay," I said with a small, shy smirk.
We sat around our table chatting about whatever. Talking over each other mostly. The lunch period went by pretty fast until he showed up. I could see him walking across the lunchroom with anger in his eyes dodging the chairs and backpacks. He eventually made it over to our table and stared down at me but didn't say anything until the bell rang. Everyone got up quickly and ran off to their next class. I was about to head out with the rest of the pack until get grabbed my arm.
"What happened to going outside for lunch?" He asked in a hush tone. "I waited for you. Do you know how embarrassing it is to be stood up by your own girlfriend?" He tightened his grip.
"I went out there but uhh..." I was terrible at lying.. "I couldn't find you." I pressed my lips together.
"Yeah, sure, whatever you say." He said with a heavy sarcasm. He could always see right through my lies. Well, I guess it isn't hard to since I lie like a three-year-old. "Just go to class. I'll be sure to catch you after." He left without a goodbye or a kiss. I could feel my eyes begin to swell with tears but didn't dare let them escape. I looked around the empty lunch room to see if anyone had seen our conversation. It looked like we were in the clear until I caught Cassia’s eyes staring in my direction from the stairwell. She motioned for me to follow her to class but I just offered her an awkward shrug and darted in the other direction. I couldn't let her see me like this. I couldn't let anyone see me like this. Things will get better soon, one way or another, they just have to.
I found myself wandering aimlessly around the halls. I knew I should be in class but I couldn’t bring myself to sit next to Cassia and pretend I was fine. I couldn’t summon the strength to pretend with anyone right now. I found my way to the center of the universe in our school. The one hall you will always find your way to. We jokingly called it the sex hall because it was the only hall with no camera. I saw Cassia standing there, leaning against the wall, crying. I wanted to run to her, to ask her why she was crying. Despite the fact that I was also crying. But I didn’t. I couldn’t make my feet move to her. I just stood there watching her.
“This is my fault.” I whispered under my breath. She is crying because of me. She’s hurting because she saw Mal and I. I had to explain to her… Had to tell her it’s not what she thinks. I had to tell her Mal isn't a bad guy. I took a step away from her. Tomorrow. I couldn’t tell her that right now. I couldn’t tell her that because right now I didn’t even believe the lie.