Tonight the World Dies

I paced back and forth in the waiting room. My shirt stained with Beks's blood. I didn't care; I barely noticed the strange looks I was receiving. I could only think of her lifeless body, her very faint pulse, and the blood...there was so much of it.

I didn't remember specifics. I remembered walking in, Beks was on the ground, blood, Jake committed suicide, more blood. I remember putting her in my car, and racing to the hospital. I told them she was my wife; why did I say that? They rushed her back. The nurse insisted on paperwork, I called Matt; I called her parents. Matt answered but her parents didn't, I called again. They should be here; still no answer.

I sat down in the nearest chair and put my face in my hands. They haven't told me much, just that she was in surgery and they would keep me updated. I heard the hospital doors whir open and I glanced up. Matt ran in with a worried look on his face, he spotted me and tried to hold his composure as he approached me.

"What happened?" He asked me. I didn't know how to answer him. I wasn't sure what happened except that she was shot and Jake was dead.

I shook my head in response and opened my mouth to reply but we were interrupted by a couple of police officers walking up. "Mr. Baker, we would like to ask you a couple of questions if that's alright?"

I nodded and they glanced at Matt. "He can stay," I told them.

They nodded and pulled out a sort of notepad. "Can you tell us what happened?"

"Uh," I started, "it kind of happened really quickly. I don't really know, I just came home and I heard a gunshot and I ran inside the house just into time to see Jake shoot himself in the head. Beks was lying on the floor..." I trailed off.

"Take your time," one of the officers told me.

I did my best to pull myself together before clearing my throat and continuing. "She was unconscious, I checked for a pulse and it was faint but there, so I put her in the car and brought her here."

"Did you or...Beks know the attacker?" They asked me.

"Her full name is Rebekah Bowman," Matt interjected. The officer nodded and scribbled on his pad.

I nodded. "He was an ex-boyfriend. She broke up with him over a year ago; he was abusing her mentally and physically."

"Have you guys had any problems with him since or is this the first time?"

"A few altercations, but nothing serious until a few months ago. He broke into our home and tried to strangle her when she wouldn't leave with him. He fled the scene before the cops arrived, but we filed a report about it."

They nodded. "Okay, Mr. Baker I believe that's all the questions we have for right now. Your house is now a crime scene so we must insist you not enter without a police officer present, do you understand?"

I nodded, thought I didn't plan on leaving this hospital until Beks was awake. The police officer handed me a card and said something before he walked off but I wasn't listening. Matt turned to me. "Jake's dead?" I nodded. "And Bekah?"

"Surgery," I told him. "They said they would keep me updated but I haven't heard anything yet."

"I told everyone to stay home. I didn't want to stir up too much attention and get the press or fans involved." Matt told me. "I’m going to call Val and tell her what happened so she can update everyone."

I nodded again before sitting back down. I didn't know what I was going to do if she didn't survive this. I couldn't live without her, not again. I needed her by my side. If she didn't survive this I don't think I would either.

Minutes ticked by before Matt walked back up to me. We didn't speak, and he sat down next to me. My hands were shaking so I grabbed the arms of the chair to try and steady them. What felt like hours ticked by before a doctor came out.

"Mr. Baker?" She called. I looked up and she walked over to me. Matt and I both climbed to our feet. "Hi, Mr. Baker. I'm Dr. Murphy, I'm working alongside Dr. Pratt who is the lead surgeon on your case. I'm very sorry it took so long for one of us to come speak with you."

"Is she okay?" I asked her.

She didn't look happy. "It's still very touch and go right now, we can't be certain if your wife is going to be able to pull through. She is very strong though, she's not giving up easily."
Matt and I nodded. I don't think either one of us could muster a single word. She was still alive, but for how much longer?

"Mr. Baker, I do have some bad news though." Dr. Murphy said. "I'm sorry to have to inform you of this, but your wife was pregnant, we think she was probably around eight or nine weeks along. However, due to the gunshot to her stomach...I'm sorry; there wasn't much we could do."

I didn't understand what she said. Beks...was pregnant...eight weeks...there wasn't much they could do.
Beks...pregnant
Pregnant.
Eight weeks.
Gone.

"Thank you, Doctor," I heard Matt say before Dr. Murphy walked off.

Beks...was...what? There had to be a mistake. Beks was on birth control, I saw her take her pill every single day. I felt Matt guide me back into my seat.

But there wasn't a mistake, was there? They were doctors, they had their hands inside her. If they said there was a baby, there was a baby.
Was.
There was a baby. She wasn't pregnant anymore.

I wasn't sure how I felt. After the initial shock, I felt sad, then angry, and then devastated.
I was sad because of what Beks was going through right now. I wasn't sure if she knew she was pregnant, but she would find out when – if - she woke up. I was angry because of everything Jake put her though and then he took the easy way out. I was devastated because no matter how long I knew about the pregnancy, and no matter how far along she was I realized I had lost a baby. We had lost a baby. Beks was going to be a mother and I was going to be a father and now...now, our child was dead.

I felt Matt clap his hand on my shoulder. "Did you know?" His voice was barely above a whisper, I shook my head. "Dude, I'm so fucking sorry..."
I couldn't find the words to express what I wanted to say. The news about Beks lost pregnancy ate at me, but she was still alive. At least that was something I could be happy about, but was I wrong for being happy about something when I just found out devastating news? Not to mention, who knew how long she was going to alive. I could lose her, I could lose everything.

The waiting room cleared out slowly, and then it was just Matt and I. Hours passed before I saw Dr. Murphy again.

"Mr. Baker, Rebekah is out of surgery. The next twelve hours are going to be very critical but we have an entire team keeping an eye on her."

"Can we see her?" I asked. I needed to see it with my own two eyes.

Dr. Murphy nodded before motioning us to follow her. My stomach felt uneasy for some reason. She opened the door and allowed Matt and I to walk in.

As soon as I saw her I thought I was going to collapse. I took long strides to her bedside and rested my forehead on hers. I broke down instantly. She was alive.

Matt approached the other side of her bed with caution, and then kneeled beside her and took her hand into his. He laid his head down on the bed and I wondered if he was breaking down like I was.

I whispered sweet nothings into her ear, wishing she would wake up. After ten minutes or so, Dr. Murphy walked back in and suggested we go get some rest because the next twelve hours were going to be very long. I didn't want to leave her, but when she woke I didn't want her to see me like this, with dried blood over my clothes.

I kissed her lips, and after lingering for a few moments, I whispered, "I love you. I'll be back soon."

Matt and I walked out of the room and through the hospital until we found the exit.

"You should come to the house. You shouldn’t be alone right now." Matt told me.

He was right. Though Beks was alive, there were still a lot of emotions running through me. I thought about it for a moment before agreeing. "Yeah, I'd rather do that than get a hotel room," I told him.

We got into our cars and drove off and towards the direction of his house. When we got there, we walked in and Valary walked up to us immediately. Her swollen stomach crushed my heart as I remembered the baby Beks and I could have had. I looked away from her and wasn't able to look her in the eye even when she spoke to us.

"How is she?" She asked us.

I stared at my feet while Matt answered her. "Alive, but the next twelve hours are going to be rough. We just come home to shower; they're going to call us if she wakes before we get back."

"That's good." She said. "Come on, Zack. We'll get you some clean clothes." I followed her up the stairs. She walked into her and Matt's bedroom and pulled me out some of his clothes. He was bigger than me, but I didn't care.

She handed me a pair of shorts and a shirt. "You should also get some sleep," she told me as she led me to the guest room.

I shook my head. "I just want to get back to the hospital." She didn't protest, but instead pulled me into a hug.

"She's going to be okay," she told me. I nodded at her and she walked off and back down the stairs. I took a deep breath before entering the bedroom Beks stayed before she moved in with me.

I wondered if any of this would have happened if we just made her stay here. Somehow, I don't think it mattered. I walked in and looked around. I half expected some of her stuff to still be lying around, but it wasn't. I tossed the clean clothes on the bed and made my way to the bathroom.

I shut the door and stared at myself in the mirror for a brief moment. Blood was caked on my shirt and on a few places on my arms. My black hair was an untidy mess, and my eyes were red from exhaustion and crying. I pulled the shirt from my body and tossed in the trash can, I wasn't sure if the blood would come out and I wasn't willing to try. I didn't want to be reminded of this day ever again.

I pulled my shoes and jeans off, and then my boxers. I turned the shower on and stepped into the hot water.

I didn't realize how tense I was until the hot shower began to relax my muscles. I wrapped myself in thoughts as I washed my hair and my body. The last time I showered, Beks had joined me. I couldn't help but smile as the memories passed through my mind.

After I was finished washing myself I climbed out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my waist. I absentmindedly picked up my jeans and shoes and walked out of the bathroom. The air was cool on my wet chest and back, but I didn't mind it.

I reached into my jeans in search for my phone but my hand wrapped around something else instead. It was a small, decorative box wrapped with ribbon. The police had found it near Jake’s body and believe it to be something of Beks’s. They brought it to me, but I haven’t been able to bring myself to open it.

I pulled my phone out of my jeans before dropping them and my shoes onto the ground. I sat on the bed and pressed the home button, hoping to see a missed call from the hospital. There wasn't.

I sighed and laid the phone on the bed beside me before resting my head in my hands. I've said it before and I'll say it again, hope breeds eternal misery.
Notes
Thank you for reading! One chapter left!

Also, big announcement for some! "Enough" is getting a sequel! I'm hoping to post the first chapter within the next couple of weeks!

Feedback would be amazing.