Tonight the World Dies

The doorbell of my parents' house rang and I ran down to answer it. Gena stood at my door way. I rolled my eyes and stepped outside with her so my parents wouldn't hear another one of our fights. For two 18 year olds we sure did argue like a couple that had been married for years and years.

​​​"What do you want?" I asked her.

​​​Her eyes were red and puffy. "Can we talk?"

​​​I sighed. "I'm not in the mood." I turned to walk back into my house but she caught my arm.

​​​"Okay, let me talk then and you listen."

​​​I turned back to her. "Didn't you do enough talking last night?"

​​​She looked defeated. "Zack, please."

​​​I sighed. "You broke up with me, Gena. You don't get to come beg me for a conversation."

​​​"I didn't mean it, Zack! I was just upset. I'm just so tired of fighting with you." She told me.

​​​"Well, now we're not together anymore so I guess you don't have to worry about that anymore." I shot at her. I tried to hide it, but my ego was a little bruised.

​​​"We can just act like it didn't happen. I want to be with you."

​​​I groaned. "No, Gena! I'm so fucking tired of doing the on and off thing with you. I think this is for the best." I told her.

​​​"But prom is a week away," She said.

​​​"And?"

​​​"We're supposed to be going together. We already bought your red tie for your suit to match my dress." Gena said desperately. She and I both knew she didn't care about our matching outfits; she just wanted to go together.

​​​I shook my head. I wasn't going to fall for it this time. "I'm already going with someone else."

​​​"Already? We broke up not even twelve hours ago!" She became angry.

​​​"Relax, it's Beks. I called her last night after we talked. It started out as a joke at first, but then we both realized it's a decent idea. There's no point in either of us going dateless, and we're just friends so it works." I fibbed. Beks and I were just friends if you asked us, or anyone else but the truth was I had always held some love in my heart for her that crossed the 'friends only' line. "You have guys lining up to be with you, Gena. I'm sure you can find a replacement."
She sniffed and wiped her eyes. I didn't realize she had started to tear up until now. "I don't want a replacement. I want you."

​​​I sighed. "We can still be friends."

​​​"So there's no hope we're going together?" She asked me and I shook my head. I knew if I went with her we would end up getting back together and it was obvious she and I weren't meant to be together. She took a deep breath and then said, "Well I'd rather you go with Bekah than anyone else. At least I can trust her with you."

​​​I rolled my eyes again. That was her way of saying she expected us to get back together and she didn't want me to mess around with any other of our schoolmates. "Whatever, Gena." I turned and walked back into the house before she could say anything else.


​​​​​
A week passed and before I knew it prom was upon us. Prom wasn't something that I was exactly excited about, but I did enjoy dressing up and I also enjoyed the idea that Beks was my date.

​​​I checked myself in my mother’s full body mirror. ​​My entire attire was back with the exception of the light pink bow tie around my neck. I wore a pair of all black Chuck Taylor high tops instead of the dress shoes in the back of my closet. I combed my hair out of my eyes as per my mother’s request but left my piercings in.

​​​I walked down stairs and grabbed my keys. "Now, wait just a minute Zachary James Baker," I heard my mother call. She walked out of the kitchen with a camera in her hand.

​​​"Oh, come on, mom." I groaned. "I'm running late to pick Beks up."

​​​"Oh, this is the first time I've seen your face without hair in it in I-don't-know-how-long. I'm getting a picture, so go stand over there and smile." She smiled at me. I sighed and did as I was told. She snapped a couple of photos and then said, "You're such a handsome man, Zachary.
​
​​​​​I'm so glad you're going to prom with Beks. You guys are so cute together."

​​​I groaned again, "And this is why I wouldn't let her come get ready over here like she wanted. You would have embarrassed me."

​​​She smiled. I tried to keep my feelings for Beks under wraps but I think my mom always suspected. "I just want you to be happy, Zachary. That's all."

​​​I shook my head and smiled. "I have to go. Don't wait up tonight." I swiftly gave her a kiss on the cheek before basically running out the door. I jumped in my car and drove off to Beks's house.

​​​When I got there I realized how nervous I was. My heart was racing and my stomach kept doing flips. I knew why I was nervous, even though this was supposed to be a just-as-friends type of thing, I felt like it was more. This was probably the closest thing to a date with Beks that ​​I would ever get. I was going to enjoy it.

​​​I got out of the car and walked to her house. I took a deep breath before knocking on her door.

​​​"Zachary, don't you look handsome as ever!" Mrs. Bowman complimented. She pulled me into a hug.

​​​"Thank you," I told her. She allowed me to come in and called up the stairs for Beks.

​​​"Rebekah should be down shortly," she told me with a smile. She opened her mouth to say something else but the telephone rang. She politely excused herself before walking into the next room.

​​​A moment later, Beks began to walk down the stairs and I knew right then I would remember this exact moment for the rest of my life. ​​She was wearing a light pink floor length gown, with a slit going up to the middle of her thigh. The neckline was high, but sheer and covered in diamonds or some sort of rhinestone. Her long, brown hair was half up and curled like I liked it, and she wore the most beautiful smile on her face.

​​​"Damn, Baker you clean up well," she smiled at me, breaking me out of my gaze.

​​​I smiled at her and looked down at myself. "Thanks, Beks." I returned my gaze to her. "You look...I don't even have words to describe how beautiful you are."

​​​She smiled and looked away, blushing. "That's why I keep you around. You keep my ego boosted."

​​​"What are best friends for?" I asked as her mom walked back into the room with Beks and me.

​​​"Oh, you two are so adorable!" She said. "I know you guys are wanting to get your night started but let me take some pictures!"

​​​We nodded and I put my hand on the small of Bekah's back and pulled her close to me. We took a couple of photos and then left. Beks and I walked out to my car, and I walked over to the passenger side to open her door for her.

​​​"Oh, you don't have to do that!" She laughed. I shrugged and did it anyways. She smiled at me before getting in. I closed the door gently and then walked over to my side of the car.

We arrived at the place where prom was being held and walked in with our arms linked together. I saw Gena not too far away from the entrance. She looked beautiful in her red ball gown, and I felt a small tinge of jealousy when I saw her date walk up to her and plant a kiss on the side of her face.

​​​I shook it from my mind easily enough. I loved Gena, but we weren't good together. Beks and I walked in together and were immediately engulfed in the atmosphere.

​​​The music was loud, and lights were flashing. There were many people dancing on each other, and others were making out in a semi-dark corner. I spotted Matt and the rest of my friends standing not too far from us. I pointed them out to Beks and we walked to their direction.

​​​"Look at you all cleaned up!" Beks shouted to Matt over the music.

​​​Val looked up to Matt and smiled. "He looks good, doesn't he?"

​​​"You look pretty great yourself, Bekah!" Jimmy said.

​​​Beks looked down at her dress and smirked. "I do, don't I?"

​​​I laughed and shook my head. "I'm going to go get some punch. You want some?"

​​​She nodded and I walked away from her. I walked to the punch bowl line and waited for a moment before I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and saw Gena.

​​​"You look great," she smiled.

​​​I returned the smile and said, "Thanks. You do too."

​​​The silence was awkward. I grabbed two cups and filled them with punch. "How your date with Bekah going?" She asked me. I wondered if I heard jealousy in her voice or if I imagined it.

​​​I turned to her and stepped out of the way do someone else could get some punch. "It's not a date, Gena. You know that. We're just friends."

​​​She sighed. "I just wish it was you and I here together."

​​​I was unsure what to say so I didn't say anything. I smiled softly and turned to walk away but she called my name. "Yeah?" I turned back to her.

​​​"Save me a dance, later. Please."

​​​I thought about it for a second and nodded, figuring it could hurt. She gave me another smile before I walked back to the group.

​​​I handed Beks her cup. She brought it to her mouth but before she could take a sip Jimmy stopped her.

​​​"I've got something for you that, B!" He shouted before digging into his pocket. He looked around before pulling out a flask. Beks cheered and Jimmy handed it to her.

​​​"All for me?" She asked and he nodded. "Aw, you sure do know the way to a girl’s heart, Jimmy!"

​​​He performed an overdramatic bow. "And don't worry, gentleman. There's much more in the car!"

​​​We laughed and Beks poured the contents from the flask into her punch. She took a gulp and then offered it to me. I took it from her and brought it to my lips as she poured liquor into my cup.

​​​Val walked up with her sister and asked Brian and Matt to dance. They reluctantly walked off. Leana whispered something into Jimmy's ear and after a raised brow and a chuckle, he grabbed her hand and they ran off somewhere.

​​​"And then there were two!" Beks laughed and looked up at me. I couldn't get over how beautiful she was tonight. I had always thought she was beautiful, so maybe it was just because tonight she was dressed up. Whatever it was, I was happy to call her my date tonight, even if it was just as friends.

​​​"Why are you staring at me?" She laughed.

​​​I didn't realize I was until she pointed out. I shrugged and smirked at her. "Just wondering how you got lucky enough to come to this with such a good looking motherfucker."

​​​She laughed and shook her head. "I'm pretty sure it's the other way around!" It was.

​​​The song changed and she grabbed my hand and led to us to the dance floor before I could protest. She smiled as she looked up at me and wrapped her arms around my neck. "Don't give me that look. You're a great dancer."

​​​I laughed and grabbed her waist, thankful the song was slow. I pulled her closer to me. "In all seriousness, I'm glad you came with me tonight."

​​​"Aww," she cooed. "I'm glad I came with you too."

An hour or two passed, and we were beginning to get drunk from Jimmy's stash in his car. We had already refilled the flask several times and also smoked a couple of joints. By time prom was half way over, we were feeling pretty good.

​​​Beks was always good at concealing how good she was feeling when we were partying. I always admired how much of an elegant drunk she was. She was never the one to show out or seem sloppy. She fixed her makeup before stepping out of the passenger side of Jimmy's car, she pulled the lever that allowed the seat to jerk forward and Matt and I got out of the car as well. Jimmy stepped out from the drivers side and took a swig from his own flask.

​​​"I love you guys," he announced. "You guys are my very best friends. I can't wait to do this together when we're old as fuck and in nursing homes."

​​​Beks laughed. "I'm going to marry a rich man so he can hire someone to take care of me at home instead of sending me to a home!"

​​​Matt shook his head. "Val will definitely send my ass to a nursing home."
We began walking back to the building and Beks laced her fingers with mine for support as we walked up the stairs. Once we reached the top, she didn't let go and I wasn't going break us apart either, so we walked into the building hand in hand.

​​​Half the crowd was sitting at tables around the room and the other half was still grinding on one another. Beks leaned her head onto my shoulder and I was tempted to ask her if she was ready to go home. I decided to be selfish a little longer; I wasn't ready for the night with her to end yet. It didn't matter anyways because before I could say anything to her, Jimmy was asking her for a dance and dragging her away, pulling her hand out of mine.

​​​He began dancing crazy and she threw her head back in a laugh before mocking his moves. I chuckled to myself and leaned against the wall.

​​​The song was almost over when Gena walked up to me. "Hey good looking," she winked. "Don't forget you owe me a dance."

​​​I nodded and smiled at her. "Next song," I promised.

​​​Her face seemed to light up. I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss her. "Only if it a slow song."

​​​I laughed and agreed. The song ended shortly after that and Jimmy and Beks walked up.

​​​"You ready to get out of here?" Beks asked me.

​​​Gena shot me a look and I glanced at her before looking back at Beks. "I owe Gena a dance, but we can go after that."

​​​Beks nodded and Jimmy put his arm around her shoulder. "Well, we're going to go back out to the car."

​​​The next song kicked on and it was a slow one. Gena grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the dance floor. I watched as Jimmy and Beks walked back out of the building to either drink or smoke more before turning my attention to Gena.

​​​I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into me. She laid her head on my chest and pulled me closer to her.

​​​We danced in silence. I could tell she wanted to say something but didn't know how. The song was nearly over before she spoke.

​​​"I miss you."

​​​I tightened my grip around her for a moment before saying. "I miss you too."

​​​She looked up at me. "Take me home with you tonight."

​​​I stared at her for a long moment. "You know I can't," I whispered.

​​​She sighed. "Yes you can! No one except for you is saying we can't be together."

​​​I sighed. "It's not that simple Gena. You and I just don't mesh together well. I love you, I always will but we can't be together. Not happily, anyways."

​​​"So what you're saying is you're happy not being with me?" She asked, pulling away from me.

​​​I didn't know how to answer her. Yeah, I was happy but I also missed her. "Gena..."

​​​She shook her head before glaring at me and stomping away. I groaned, contemplating running after her or not before deciding against it and went in search of Beks instead.

​​​I found her and Jimmy in the car together. She hopped out of the car when she saw me walking up to the vehicle, a bottle in her hand.

​​​"Whoa, what's wrong?" She asked me when she noticed my expression.

​​​I shook my head and took the bottle from her when she offered it. "Gena." I mumbled before taking a gulp. The whiskey burned my throat but I chugged the bottle anyways. It was half gone when I pulled it from my mouth.

​​​"You wanna talk about it?" She asked. I shook my head. She bent down and said something to Jimmy before emerging again. This time she had two more bottles in her hands. "Let's go."
I nodded and she blew a kiss to Jimmy before we walked away from him and towards my car. I was drunk, but decided to drive anyways.

​​​We decided to drive back to my house since it was closer and she would just spend the night with me. When we arrived we got out of the car and sat on the porch. She had finished off the bottle of whiskey on the way over so we opened a new bottle. I brought it to my lips as we sat down on the porch.

​​​"Tonight was so much fun!" She exclaimed.

​​​I nodded and handed the bottle to her. The conversation with Gena had totally ruined my mood. I don't know why I let her under my skin or cared about how she felt so much. I knew we weren't good together, we both needed to move on no matter how hard it was going to be. I held my face in my hands as I fought with my thoughts. I heard Beks stand up next to me. Her heels clicked on the wood beneath her.

​​​"Zachary, if you don't stop being a little bitch I'm just going to have to go find someone else to entertain me for the rest of the night." She said.

​​​I smiled in my hands and looked up to her to see her fake pouting with her arms crossed. I smiled and stood, taking her hands into mine. "Calm down, cry baby," I winked. "How shall I entertain you?"

​​​She handed me the unopened bottle of whiskey, "Drink up." I grabbed the bottle from her, though I knew we should stop drinking. We were both very drunk and a hangover was already inevitable if we kept on I'm sure alcohol poisoning would be in our future.

​​​Still, I opened the bottle and took another swig. Beks joined me with the half empty bottle in her hand. The one thing I grew to love about Beks when she drank was how much of a flirt she became. She was constantly touching my arm and grabbing my hand. I didn't want to take advantage of her, but I couldn't help but enjoy the special attention she was giving me that I normally wouldn’t receive, maybe it was because I was drunk or maybe I was just a sleaze.

​​​We decided to finally go in after half of the bottle I opened was gone. We walked into the living room and she plopped down on the couch. The fabric on each side of the slit of her dress fell to each side of her leg, exposing it up to her thigh. I couldn't help but allow my eyes to wander before I sat down next to her. I've seen Beks in her bikini before so a slit in her dress exposing her naked thigh shouldn't have been as captivating as it was, but it was still hard for me to think about anything else for a moment. She grabbed my hand and laced my fingers with hers. She laid out hands in her lap and the back of my hand was touching her thigh. My heart began to race.

​​​She laid her head on my shoulder. "Ready to go to bed?" I asked her. I tried to keep my voice steady despite the nerves running through me.

​​​"In a minute," she whispered.

​​​I wanted to ask her what was going through her mind. I wanted to ask her if she was thinking of me like I was thinking of her but I stopped myself. "We're just friends," I mentally reminded myself.

​​​"Zack," she said. I looked down at her but she wasn't looking at me.

​​​"What's up?" I asked her.

​​​"You know you're my best friend in the entire world, right?" She asked me. "I mean it. I don't know what I would do without you."

​​​"Yeah, I know Beks." I told her.

​​​"You'll always be my best friend," she finally looked at me.

​​​I nodded, "And you'll always be mine."

​​​Beks stared at me for the longest time and then before my mind could even register what was happening she was pressing her lips against mine.

​​​I kissed her back eagerly. I couldn't control myself as I crawled on top of her as she laid back on the couch. My mind roamed as we kissed, and I broke apart and kissed her jaw and neck. She pulled me back to her mouth before mumbling, "Your parents could come down here any minute."

​​​I regretfully nodded and pushed myself off her. I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly as she stood up. I was disappointed that our kiss ended so soon, but I didn't press for more. She surprised me when she grabbed my hand and led me to my bedroom. She turned when we got to the door and looked at me.

​​​"Beks..." I began. I was going to apologize but she pulled me back in for another kiss. I pulled her against me and she began to tug at my clothes. I pushed us through my bedroom door and shut it behind us.

​​​My lips never left hers as she kicked off her heels and pulled my jacket from my body. I playfully pushed her onto the bed and she pulled me along with her.

​​​"My mother always told me never trust a man in a bow tie," she smiled as she pulled it lose and from my neck.

​​​I smiled too before kissing her again. She pushed me from her and climbed on top of me. She reached up behind her neck and unclasped her dress. She pulled it from her neck and arms and my heart stopped for a brief moment when her breasts came into full view. I looked up to her face and noticed she was blushing so I pulled her down to my lips and kissed her. I reached my arms from behind her and unzipped the remainder of her dress.

​​​I kissed her collarbone then flipped her back over so I was on top. I pulled my vest from my body so I was only wearing my dress shirt and slacks. Her hands were quick to unbutton my shirt and that was pulled from my body and thrown as well.

​​​My left hand massaged her breast while I brought my lips back to hers. My mouth muffled a moan from hers and she ran her hand through my hair. I stood up and pulled her up with me I pushed her gown down from her body and she stepped out of it. My eyes traveled down her chest, to her stomach to her panties.

​​​Thank you Jesus for thongs.

​​​She was blushing again and I brushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear. "You're so fucking gorgeous," I whispered.

​​​

​​​I collapsed next to her some time later, both of us breathing hard. I rose up after a moment and kissed her on the cheek. I, then, grabbed my pack of cigarettes and lighter. I pulled one out of the pack, stuck it between my lips and lit it.

​​​Beks pulled the sheet around her chest and curled up next to me with her head lying on my chest. She threw her leg over me and her hand laid on my stomach.

​​​I didn't want this night to end. I wanted to rewind and relive it all over again. Tonight was easily the best night of my life so far.

​​​"Beks," I whispered.

​​​"Hm?" She vocalized.

​​​The words came out of my mouth before I could stop them. "I love you." It was the truth. I loved her as a friend and I loved her as more than a friend. I always have. I always will.

​​​"Oh, hush," she said and then added. "You're drunk."

​​​I nibbled at my lip. I should let it go, but I couldn't. "No, Beks I mean it. Tonight was amazing. I love you and I want to be with you. You make me happier than anyone in the world."

​​​Her reply didn’t come and I realized she had fallen asleep. I sighed but I wasn't sure if it was because I was disappointed or relieved. I put my cigarette out in the ashtray before kissing her on the top of her head and passing out.
​​
The next morning I woke up to Beks walking around the bedroom in a quiet rush.

​​​"What's wrong?" I groaned.

​​​"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to wake you." She told me.

​​​I rubbed my eyes and sat up in bed. I noticed she was dressed in some of my sweats and a
​​shirt of mine. She had her hair pulled up in a bun and was gathering her dress and shoes from the floor.

​​​"What's wrong?" I asked her again.

​​​She shook her head, "Nothing."

​​​I pulled on some basketball shorts beside my bed and walked up to her. "Tell me."

​​​"Zack, you're my best friend." She told me. I nodded unsure of where she was getting at. "Last night was..."

​​​"Outstanding?" I offered.

​​​She nodded slowly. "But you're my best friend."

​​​"You're my best friend too. I think that's what would make this work," I told her, grabbing her hands.

​​​She sighed. "I'm more scared of what will happen if we break up."

​​​I shook my head. "We won't."

​​​"Don't be so naive, Zack." She told me. I frowned. "I think we should just be friends. I don't think we should tell anyone this happened. Things will go back to normal and it'll be fine."

​​​"Beks..."

​​​She kissed me but it only lasted for a second or two. "I have to go."

​​​"Please, stay." I asked her.

​​​She shook her head. "I can't."

​​​"Is this because last night was your first time? Because..." I started but she cut me off.

​​​"No, Zack. I’m glad my first time was with you. I care about you, and you care about me and I love that and I don’t regret what happened but…" She sighed. "Honestly, it's just because I don't want us to ruin our friendship."

​​​I felt defeated. I hated that she was pushing me away. I hated that we had to go back to being just friends. I hated that she wanted to act like the greatest night of my life never happened.

​​​"At least let me drive you home," I offered.

​​​She shook her head, "No, go back to sleep. I'll talk to you later, okay?" And without another word, she walked barefoot out of my bedroom.

​​​I sat back on my bed trying to wrap my head around what had just happened. I ran my hand through my hair and sighed. I sat there for what felt like hours before I picked up the phone and dialed a number I had dialed thousands of times before.

​​​It rang a few times before the line was answered. "Hello?"

​​​"Hey, Gena. I'm so sorry for calling so early. I'm sorry I've been such a dick the last few days. Can you come over so we can talk? I've been thinking, and I really want to be with you."