Illuminate

"Peter, Peter where are going?"

Through my eyes I watched the young version of myself chase after the younger version of Peter White. He looked over his shoulder with an affectionate smile, his red eyes shining.

"I will just be stepping out for a little while, Alice. Don't worry, I'll be coming right back!" he assured me cheerfully, reaching out to stroke my hair and the younger me giggled.

"Do you promise, Peter?" I asked stubbornly, placing small hands on my hips in a pose that I recalled from my mother, "will you bring back a souvenir from the Circus for me?"

He laughed, looking much younger and less frightening then I recalled. "Of course I can! What would you like this time?"

My small fingers grabbed the edge of his coat and pulled him down, so I could whisper in his ear. He responded with a warm smile and placed a gentle kiss on the crown of my head. With a wave, he turned and headed off toward the forest path.

"Alice, darling," a lilting voice called from the castle entrance, stirring my memories and sending a chill down my spine. "Come and play a game with me, won't you?"

Young Alice giggled happily and turned to run back towards the castle. "Yes, Your Majesty!"

Time to wake up, Alice...

The familiar whisper caused my eyelids to flicker and I found myself sitting on Julius's sofa with an open book rested on my lap. I glanced down at the worn pages, and remembered that after breakfast while waiting for Cheshire, I had taken a book from the shelf to read in the meantime. Julius sat behind his desk, engaged in his work that he seemed not to notice. Yawning prettily behind the back of my hand, I stretched my arms on a sigh before gathering the book and rising to my feet.

He noted the movement and paused to look up from his work, his eyes on me as I returned the novel to the only open space that I removed it from. I smoothed the wrinkles from the front of my dress and looked up at him.

"I wonder what is taking Cheshire so long," I murmured with worry. The following second, the library door burst open to reveal a haggard looking Cheshire, his flesh and clothes spattered with blood.

"Oh goodness!" I breathed in horror, moving to his side swiftly and staring down at the bloody mess, hands shaking. "What happened to you?"

He hissed out a breath, his hand covering a wound on his left side. When he pulled it away I could see the trace of a bullet wound. The blood drained from my face and I touched his arm gently.

"What is going on? You were shot?" I said hurriedly, images of the Hatter, March Hare and Peter White, all of which I knew had guns. I felt a flash of anger, something foreign to me. "Who shot you, Cheshire?"

Both men stared at me in surprise, and he was quick to flash that familiar grin in hopes to calm my nerves. "It's just a flesh wound, Alice," he reassured, "this is something you will have to get used to in Wonderland. It's part of the game."

I stared at him in open rage and disbelief. "Part of the game is it? You take me to the person who shot you right this second!"

He just blinked at me slowly as Julius crossed around his desk and ushered us both out of his study towards the kitchen. He pushed his friend down into a chair before grabbing pieces of random herbs and grinding them down in a small stone bowl. I felt lightheaded as I watched Cheshire from the entry way, wondering who would have done this to him.

"Alice!"

Strong arms wrapped around me tightly, causing my anxiety to spike. I struggled and kicked at the person who had me imprisoned as Cheshire shot to his feet, unsheathing a razor sharp silver dagger, fangs bared in warning.

"You better let her go, Peter White," he hissed, his eyes dark and dangerous with contempt.

I felt my blood run cold at the realization. Memories flooded my mind of him until a drop of blood splattered on the floor from Cheshire's wound. The sound itself was like a gunshot that unfurled an emotion inside of me that I had never felt before. Pure unadulterated rage. I moved with a speed that I did not know I possessed, removing myself from his grasp and spun to face him. I raised my arm and struck him with all of my might. The sound ricocheted off of the stone walls as all movement halted and Peter White stood there, eyes wide in shock as his cheek steadily turned red and shaped like my hand.

"How dare you show yourself in front of me again, you awful rabbit," I whispered in a voice that was so unlike my own, deep inside it frightened me.

"Alice," he breathed in astonishment, his eyes focusing on me as he cupped his injured cheek. His ears dipped low, a wounded expression overcoming his expression that pulled painfully at my heart.

I couldn't stop myself as I advanced on him, backing him towards the way he had come from. "How dare you shoot my friend. I cannot believe that I ever saw something good inside of you."

His eyes nearly bulged out of his head at my words. He knew that I remembered him from the past, and it seemed to strike a chord with him. He swallowed, his eyes filling with emotion like a man dying of thirst and finally given a drink of water.

"You remember me?" he whispered, his voice laced with so much hope that it made me cringe. "How is that possible?"

I forced the unwanted guilt away and glared at him angrily. I pointed a stern finger at him, causing him to snap to attention in surprise. "That is of no matter to you, White. I want you leave immediately."

That awful expression graced his features once more, his ruby eyes filling with tears. "I'm sorry, Alice. I had to...he was hiding you from me. I wanted to see you," he whined, reaching out toward me.

I slapped his hand away, causing him to flinch away as though I had burned him. "Leave, Mr. White. Right this instant and do not dare show yourself to me unless I say so."

His ears fell flat against his white hair, tears dripping slowly down his cheeks. "Yes, Alice," he murmured shakily, "As you wish, but...please don't hate me," he begged, meeting my eyes. "This is my 'role'."

I stared at him as he turned and rushed out the room until I could no longer hear his footsteps or his cries. All of my anger washed away and was replaced with guilt and sorrow that tears blurred my vision. I turned slowly to regard the two men who stared back at me.

"I don't understand," I cried, the tears falling freely. I felt frightened at the own drastic change within myself, something so foreign and dark.

Julius seemed uncomfortable with my tears, but his gaze sharpened when he took a good look at my face. He moved over quickly, grasping my face in his hands and forcing me to look up at him. His thumbs brushed the outer corners of my eyes, his eyes widening slightly.

"Something has changed," he said to Cheshire who immediately appeared at his side and stared when he saw my face.

I blinked away my tears, trying to understand what they were talking about. Without a word Julius released me to cross to the other side of the room where he found a small glass mirror and held it out to me. His eyes were intense and so serious that it was frightening.

"Take a look for yourself," he said honestly, gesturing to the mirror and I gulped.

I slowly lifted the mirror until I saw myself reflected back and gasped. Turning my head slightly, I saw black ink patterns like smooth curling vines winging out from the corners of my eyes. Two small shimmering gems bloomed like flowers growing from the vines and glinted back at me. My blood ran cold at the sight and I dropped the mirror when the jewels hazily changed colors.

Cheshire snatched the mirror before it hit the floor and regarded me with concern as I gently touched the small protruding jewels marking my skin.

"What is happening to me?" I whispered frightfully as my hands trembled against my face.

The men exchanged a concerned glance before Julius shook his head. "I'm afraid we don't know. This has never happened before," he admitted.

Cheshire touched the jewels curiously and it was like I was given a jolt of electricity. I jumped away from his touch, covering the gems with flushed cheeks and he looked at me inquisitively but said nothing until he stepped closer in awe.

"They changed color," he murmured, gesturing to the jewels and I frowned in confusion. Julius came over carrying the poultice for Cheshire's wound and lifted a brow.

"Very interesting," he noted, stirring away while he stared, "maybe they change with her mood? The tattooed markings seemed to be appear when she experienced an intense emotion so unfamiliar to herself."

A blush crept up to my cheeks under their scrutiny and the small rose shaped jewels winked a soft pink. A sly grin grew on Cheshire's lips at my reaction and he hummed in amusement. I blushed even more so, causing the jewels to flush bright red.

"I believe that is enough staring," I said with embarrassment as I turned away from their watchful eyes.

Julius sighed and gestured for Cheshire to sit down in a chair he had pulled out. "Well, this is definitely an interesting development." He rolled up the hem of his friend's tattered clothing to reveal the wound and began applying the poultice.

My heart wretched in my chest at the sight as it dawned on me that Wonderland was going to be much more unpleasant than it seemed. There would be many hardships along the way, and I knew that somehow I was going to have to detach myself enough to keep moving forward.

I did not notice however, that the more I detached myself from my emotions, the more the intriguing tattoos grew.